Chapter 37

After feeling a little better, Qi Liangqin went to the place he had originally rented, cancelled the lease, tidied up the things in the rented room, and packed them all up to take back to his apartment. Every time he visited this riverside view apartment, he would stay there for a while. Having a place of his own gave him a strong sense of belonging.

In truth, the things he packed weren't his—the clothes weren't his, neither were the appliances, and some small items were things he didn't recognize at all.

But he kept everything, didn't throw anything away. These memories that belonged to someone else seemed to have a connection to him. He had the clothes sent to the laundromat, folded them neatly, and put them in the wardrobe. He placed those little items on the table according to his own preferences. The house had been partially renovated, and though there was still some emptiness before, with the items now in place, it finally started to feel like a home.

It could still be decorated better, more cozily. He looked around the apartment, making plans in his mind. He thought he'd let the traces of the previous Qi Liangqin remain in the house. After all, it was a house he got because of selling himself, and even though he had taken advantage of it, he still felt a bit guilty. Once he moved out of the Yan family's house, he would throw everything away, not leaving a trace of that old Qi Liangqin behind.

But would he even move out of the Yan house? How long would it take?

Although his obsession with Yan Bozong was somewhat bitter, he accepted it. If he could, he would be willing to continue living with the Yan family. But he also knew it wouldn't last. He couldn't live with Yan Songwei in a fake marriage forever. If he spent his life in unrequited love, it would be better to move out and cut ties cleanly. His heart still held fantasies, and he still lusted after Yan Bozong.

In the novel, Qi Liangqin was an art student. Though his skills were average, as an outsider, Qi Liangqin was still amazed by his talent in painting. So, when he went back, he brought his painting supplies with him. He especially loved the sketchbook he used for drawing. It was large and had a great texture. It was the first time he'd seen drawing paper, and the first page of the sketchbook still had a half-done sketch of a window view.

Qi Liangqin had always been drawn to art, but due to his lack of financial resources, he never had the means to pursue it. His father passed away early, and his mother worked hard to raise him. After graduating with a bachelor's degree four years ago, he had managed to save up a little, but when his mother's health began to deteriorate, she eventually passed away. He became too focused on making money, and he never had the time or energy to pursue art.

People who dance always seem graceful; those who can play the piano seem romantic; those who can paint give the impression of being talented; and those who write beautiful calligraphy seem to have an air of sophistication. All these things related to art were like exquisite objects he saw through a display window—things he yearned for but could never obtain.

Now that he finally had the means, he decided to learn to paint, almost as a continuation of the character Qi Liangqin from the novel.

He didn't hire a teacher but instead secretly practiced drawing in his room, following an online tutorial. Every day, he learned a little, using it as a way to relax outside of reading. Holding the brush made him feel joyful, as if he was gradually becoming a better version of himself.

Qi Liangqin believed that Yan Bozong was a great man, and he should improve himself, become better and better, so that he could eventually be worthy of him. Even if there was no future for him and Yan Bozong, he was still moving closer to becoming the kind of person Yan Bozong was. He had probably passed the age where he believed that the handsome prince would only fall for the plain Cinderella, not the beautiful and wealthy one. A golden heart wasn't enough; a person had to have some external, visible qualities to catch the other person's attention. Only then would they see you and eventually see your heart.

The fact that Yan Bozong had gotten a divorce seemed like it had never happened—no one mentioned it. Yan Bozong had been very busy these past few days, leaving early and coming home late.

Qi Liangqin no longer spent his days in his room reading books. He had to accompany Yan Yuan and the old lady to meet friends.

Speaking of the old lady, her attitude toward him was very strange. He had gone with Madam Yan to visit three or four of her friends' homes. At every house, the hosts would compliment him out of politeness, saying things like, "He's well-behaved," or "He's handsome," basically all the same. But every time, Madam Yan would dismiss him with disdain, saying, "He's still just a man." "No matter how good he is, what's the point? You just have to accept it." "Don't be fooled by his looks, he's only got that going for him. Everything else is lacking."

The compliments from the hosts were always the same, but Madam Yan's insults never repeated. These were general remarks, but if broken down, they included things like "He's slow-witted," "He's not well-educated," "He's clueless," "He's childish," "He's lazy," "He doesn't know anything," and more, thrown in casually during the conversation, often making him feel deeply ashamed.

But logically, if she looked down on him so much, why take him to her friends' houses to embarrass him? Yet, the old lady always insisted on bringing him.

"No matter how embarrassing, he's still part of our family. These old friends will get familiar with him sooner or later, so I'm bringing him out to see the world. He can't stay cooped up in his room reading all the time. He'll go brain-dead. He was never that bright to begin with," Madam Yan said to Yan Yuan.

"Mom, I've noticed you've really become more and more contradictory. Wasn't it you who said reading more was good, and that Liangqin should stay home and read more?" Yan Yuan responded.

Madam Yan shot her a glare, displeased that she had challenged her authority.

Qi Liangqin stood by the two of them awkwardly, smiling sheepishly.

More often than not, they didn't go straight home after visiting their friends. Instead, they would go shopping, to places Qi Liangqin had never even seen. It was his first time seeing the old lady and them shopping, and the money they spent made his heart race. But what excited him most was that Madam Yan bought him an outfit worth tens of thousands.

This was the most expensive clothing he had ever touched. Every time they went out to meet friends, he wore it. Yan Yuan said, "Can't you change into something else?"

"I like this set. It's so expensive, I have to get my money's worth."

Madam Yan frowned when she heard this, while Yan Yuan quietly laughed.

But the reason Qi Liangqin wore the outfit every time wasn't just because it was nice-looking and expensive, but because he noticed that every time he wore it, the old lady was especially happy. Though she never said anything, her subtle expressions couldn't fool him.

After spending a few days with Yan Yuan and the old lady, he had indeed seen a lot of the world, just as Madam Yan had said. What he saw now was a dazzling world he had never known. Even walking down the same street, he realized that the things he saw in the past and the things he saw now were completely different.

Of course, there were occasional embarrassing moments, revealing his country bumpkin traits, some of which were very awkward and made him feel like he could never show his face again. But these new experiences, though they sometimes made him uncomfortable, also made him feel like he was improving, slowly becoming a better person.

Life is a journey, and the saddest thing is the passage of time and the inevitable aging. Time is the most precious thing—once it's gone, it can't be reclaimed. But what is most comforting is knowing that you're always improving, that every day, you are better than the day before.

Days passed quietly until a week later, when Shen He arrived.

Before she came, Shen He had called the house. The call was answered by Aunt Chun, but no one was home. The Yan brothers were both at work, and the three of them were out shopping.

Aunt Chun called and mentioned that Shen He was coming.

"I told you she doesn't know how to handle things. If she's coming, at least she should give us a day's notice, right? Not saying anything to us, at least tell your older brother. And yet, she just shows up without a word."

Yan Yuan asked, "Should we go back?"

The old lady seemed to think for a moment before impatiently saying, "Ignore her, tell her to wait."

After speaking, Madam Yan put on her sunglasses and continued shopping, never seeming to tire.

The summer heat was intense, and when they were in the sun, it was really hot. Qi Liangqin held the umbrella for the old lady, but as a man, he didn't feel comfortable standing under the umbrella. His back was already drenched with sweat. He thought they had bought enough things for the day. Holding the umbrella with one hand and the shopping bags with the other, he could hardly carry more. The old lady, however, called the driver over to take the shopping bags to the car and then continued shopping.

It seemed like she was shopping with a bit of a vengeful attitude, just to make Shen He wait longer. Later, when they rested in a café, Qi Liangqin noticed that the old lady's ankles were rubbed raw.

It was rare for her to walk so much. Even the most comfortable shoes would cause fatigue. Moreover, though the old lady was older, she insisted on wearing high heels when she went out.

"I'm almost worn out, Mom, let's go home," Qi Liangqin said.

"We've only been shopping for a little while. You men, you get tired so easily when shopping."

Though she said that, the old lady still decided to go home.

They returned home more than two hours later. The car slowly drove into the Yan family estate. Before they even got out of the car, Qi Liangqin saw a woman standing in the corridor, wearing a light beige outfit.

Shen He, the woman who never formally appeared in the novel, the one he had always envied, he was finally going to meet her.

Shen He wasn't exactly beautiful. She was very thin, not tall, and wore glasses, but she had an elegant air about her, clearly someone well-educated.

But Shen He didn't leave a good impression on him.

How should he put it? She reminded him of the photos of country wives of intellectuals from the Republic of China era—someone with a slightly older and stiff demeanor. Shen He looked even older than Yan Bozong.

Qi Liangqin quickly asked Yan Yuan in a low voice, "What should I call her?"

"Just call her 'Big Sister-in-law'," Yan Yuan replied.

So, Qi Liangqin bowed respectfully and greeted, "Big Sister-in-law."

But this made Madam Yan unhappy. She glanced back at him and said, "Who's your 'Big Sister-in-law'?"

Qi Liangqin awkwardly turned red. Yan Yuan didn't dare repeat "Big Sister-in-law." Instead, she greeted Shen He warmly, "Long time no see."

"Long time no see," Shen He said, glancing at Madam Yan. Probably affected by Madam Yan's earlier remark, she called out, "Aunt."

That one word made Madam Yan's heart cold. She didn't respond, but instead turned to Aunt Chun and said, "Has she packed everything? We wouldn't want her to forget anything. Make sure she takes everything she's supposed to."

Shen He felt a bit embarrassed and said, "There's nothing to pack, just some trivial things."

Madam Yan walked straight in, and Aunt Chun set down the foldable cat in her arms, laughing, "It's really hot outside. Come on in and cool off."

Yan Yuan smiled as she walked into the house, but Shen He held her arm and asked, "Who is this?"

Yan Yuan replied, "He's my second brother-in-law."

It was clearly intentional. Qi Liangqin turned red as he nodded to Shen He: "Hello, I'm Qi Liangqin."

"Ah, so you're the one who's with the second brother. I've seen your photo. Sorry, I didn't recognize you." She smiled and walked into the house, saying to Yan Yuan, "You look better than in the photo."

It was clear that Shen He and Yan Yuan still had a decent relationship.

Qi Liangqin later asked Aunt Chun, "Has Songwei come back? What about Big Brother?"

"Songwei is back, he's in the bedroom. Bozong called not long ago, saying he's in a meeting and will be home soon. Go ask Madam if we're eating out, having the chef cook at home, or cooking ourselves."

Qi Liangqin nodded. Just then, he heard Madam Yan call from the living room, "Tell Xiao Zheng to bring in all the things we bought!"

Qi Liangqin quickly responded, "I'll do it!"

With that, he turned and ran back. Soon, he returned carrying a large pile of bags. Aunt Chun helped him and said, "Bought so much again."

Qi Liangqin smiled without saying anything. As he went inside to put things away, he asked Madam Yan about dinner arrangements. She said impatiently, "It's already generous enough to give her a meal. Do you think we're sending her off with a feast? Tell Aunt Chun to cook as usual."

Drenched in sweat, he went downstairs, relayed the message to Aunt Chun, and then went to take a shower.

Meanwhile, Yan Songwei was lying in bed playing games. Qi Liangqin said, "Why are you holed up in your room? Do you know Sister-in-law is here?"

"I saw her," Yan Songwei replied casually. "I have nothing to talk about with her. You have no idea how awkward it was when I first got back. If I'd known no one was home, I would've come back later. I thought you were all here, and I was the only one missing."

It was indeed a bit awkward for a sister-in-law and younger brother-in-law to be alone together. Qi Liangqin laughed as he walked into the bathroom, "But wasn't Aunt Chun there too?"

Yan Songwei just chuckled, focused intently on his game.

After a warm shower, Qi Liangqin came out to find Yan Songwei still lounging on the bed. He quietly opened the door to listen. The living room was silent. He walked through the hallway, but as he reached the corner, he saw Shen He sitting alone in the living room. Startled, he quickly retreated and shut the door.

"She's sitting there alone. So awkward," he muttered.

Yan Songwei asked, "Isn't Mom and Yuan Yuan back?"

"Yeah, I thought your sister would keep her company. They seemed close earlier."

Yan Songwei laughed. "Mom must've called Yuan Yuan upstairs on purpose. She's giving Shen He the cold shoulder."

Qi Liangqin actually felt a little bad for Shen He. He hated awkward situations, and thinking about how she must feel sitting there alone, he couldn't help but feel some sympathy. There was also a complicated, inexplicable feeling toward Shen He—perhaps mixed with a bit of guilt. So, he got dressed and prepared to head out.

"Where are you going?"

"To the living room. I can't just leave Sister-in-law sitting there alone."

"But you're a guy. What are you even going to talk about with her? Won't that be even more awkward?"

Qi Liangqin grinned. "We're sisters-in-law, after all. Hahaha."

With that, he pushed open the door and walked to the living room, smiling. "Where's Yuan Yuan?"

"Madam needed her for something and called her upstairs."

Seeing him, Shen He stood up. Qi Liangqin quickly moved to pour her some water, but Shen He stopped him. "Aunt Chun just poured this, I haven't even had a sip yet."

"Big Brother isn't back yet?"

"He just called saying he's at the gate… Oh, there he is."

Qi Liangqin turned around and saw Yan Bozong entering, changing his shoes at the door, holding a briefcase. Shen He walked up to him and took the bag from his hand. "You're finally home."

"There was a meeting. You should've let me know before coming."

Watching them, they really did seem like an ordinary married couple.

Yan Bozong glanced around the living room, and Qi Liangqin nodded a bit stiffly. "You're back, Big Brother."

"Mm." Yan Bozong scanned the room. "You're the only one here?"

Not knowing how to respond, Qi Liangqin hesitated, but Shen He tugged on Yan Bozong's arm, and he seemed to understand immediately. Without another word, he walked toward the other room, with Shen He following. Qi Liangqin was left alone in the living room, exhaling a long breath.

Only after Madam Yan had finished putting on airs did she come downstairs with Yan Yuan. Seeing no sign of Shen He, she snorted coldly. "Such a temper."

"Did Sister-in-law leave?" Yan Yuan asked.

Qi Liangqin shook his head. "No, Big Brother is back. They're in the room."

Madam Yan said to Yan Yuan, "Stop calling her Sister-in-law. They're divorced now."

"But after so many years, I'm used to it. What else should I call her? I can't go back to calling her Shen He Jie, can I?"

Madam Yan sat down on the sofa. "Go check what they're doing in there."

Yan Yuan hesitated. "No way, what if I walk in on something awkward?"

"Big Brother and Sister-in-law must have a lot to talk about. Mom, just be nice to her. Even if you don't care about her, at least consider Big Brother's feelings. It's the last time anyway. You won't have to see her much in the future."

Qi Liangqin spoke gently, "Otherwise, Big Brother will feel stuck in the middle."

"He's right," Yan Yuan chimed in. "I don't like her either, but I still make conversation. Mom, you've always been broad-minded—why are you being so petty now?"

Madam Yan sighed. "It just chills my heart. They only just got divorced, and she's already calling me 'Aunt' instead of 'Mom'."

Yan Yuan and Qi Liangqin exchanged a glance, both understanding but saying nothing.

The meal wasn't particularly enjoyable, despite Yan Songwei's jokes, there was still a sense of awkwardness. Qi Liangqin first went into the kitchen to help Aunt Chun with the cooking, then he set the table, arranged the bowls and chopsticks, brewed tea, and poured water, behaving in a way that seemed overly virtuous. Shen He and Yan Yuan sat on the couch, whispering to each other, while Yan Songwei and Yan Bozong sat together with the elderly lady. Qi Liangqin kept moving back and forth in front of them, busy with various tasks.

Yan Qiuping glanced at Shen He, then at Qi Liangqin, and said to her two sons: "Still, Xiao Qin is diligent, this is how a daughter-in-law should behave."

Yan Songwei suppressed a smile as he looked at Yan Bozong, deliberately tilting his chin toward him. Yan Bozong turned his head to look at Qi Liangqin, who was arranging a fruit platter. His features were delicate, his sleeves rolled up, looking indeed very capable. As he was watching, he suddenly saw Qi Liangqin subtly glance up at him.

Qi Liangqin was sneaking a look at him, and he immediately caught on. When he was caught, Qi Liangqin seemed startled and quickly lowered his head, though his ears had already turned red. The light coming through the floor-to-ceiling windows illuminated half of his body, and his hands, which were nervously arranging the fruit platter, were slender and fair, reminding Yan Bozong of the time Qi Liangqin had tauntingly played with a ripe cherry in front of him.

Yan Bozong quickly shifted his gaze back, noticing Shen He, who was talking to Yan Yuan.

For the first time, he had a secret realization: as his mother had said, Qi Liangqin, as a daughter-in-law, seemed indeed more qualified than Shen He, exuding more warmth, beauty, gentleness, and softness.

What a shameful thought this was—his ex-wife, a woman he should respect and protect, yet he found himself comparing her to someone else. And, in doing so, arriving at this absurd conclusion.

He had to face the cruel side of his nature, admitting that his unhappy marriage with Shen He had caused him much dissatisfaction and pain. Their amicable separation was because their marriage couldn't continue, but why couldn't it continue? Why didn't he love Shen He?

He had always seen Shen He in a positive light—cultured, elegant, independent—but he never allowed himself to consider why he didn't love her. It was simply because she didn't have the qualities he wanted. His dissatisfaction with Shen He was just as strong as her dissatisfaction with him.

"You're good, really, you didn't do anything wrong." These were the words they said to each other during their divorce.

But if someone had everything you liked, really had it all, how could you not love them? In the end, a failed marriage was simply because the other person didn't meet your needs. They weren't the person you wanted them to be, and accumulated disappointment and dissatisfaction led to the end. As for him and Shen He, they had both adhered to the gentleman's way, not willing to admit the flaws in each other, unwilling to criticize the other. They acted as if acknowledging those flaws would somehow make them unworthy.

They should have been the best divorced couple, only seeing the good in each other, without any bad. Yet, he had made this comparison, and in doing so, for the first time, saw the brilliance in Qi Liangqin: this man, whom he despised, carried the warmth he had always hoped for in his partner.