Chapter 14

You read about rape and see it on the news, but nothing prepares you for the sheer disgust, helplessness, and terror that consumes you when you're the one living it. It's not just the violation; it's the overwhelming realization that your body is no longer your own, that you have no control over what happens next. My mind screamed, but my body betrayed me, weak and exhausted. I shut it all down—my thoughts, my feelings, everything. I didn't want to be there anymore. I didn't want to feel.It was like floating in a haze, the world turning into a dull, muffled nightmare. Time became meaningless. I had no idea how long I stayed in that fog, how many seconds or minutes or hours passed. When I was finally yanked back to reality, it hit me like a punch in the gut. I found myself crumpled on the cold stone floor, my clothes in tatters around me. My body ached in ways that felt foreign, unfamiliar. I didn't know if I had been fully violated—or if Akun had stopped before taking it all."Are you okay?" a girl asked, cutting through the ringing in my ears. The words weren't kind or gentle; they carried irritation rather than concern. I forced myself to nod, just to make her leave me alone. My throat felt dry, and I couldn't speak even if I wanted to.Slowly, I turned my head, and that's when I saw him—Akun, sprawled on the floor, pinned beneath something large and menacing. Ashu's massive frame radiating raw power, crouched over him, snarling. Its claws dug into his shoulders, keeping him in place. Akun, the arrogant monster who moments ago had been on top of me, was now frozen in fear, his wide eyes betraying the terror he felt.I gasped, dragging myself backward, away from them both. My arms wrapped instinctively around my exposed body, trembling as I tried to cover myself. The shredded remains of my dress were no help. I pressed myself against the wall, desperate to disappear into the shadows.The creature growled, its deep, guttural sound reverberating through the room. It bared its sharp canines, a warning to Akun, whose chest rose and fell in rapid, shallow breaths. He was paralyzed, his bravado crumbled under the weight of the predator looming over him.The room felt suffocating, the air thick with fear and confusion. My eyes darted around, scanning the dimly lit space. That's when I noticed it—the door. A massive wooden door I hadn't seen before, now hanging off its hinges, splintered and destroyed. It wasn't hard to guess what had happened. The creature must have smashed through it to get here.And then my breath caught in my throat.He walked through the broken doorway, his presence filling the room like a storm. I had seen him before, and I knew exactly who he was. Yet even in a world as strange and terrifying as Ashudhar, he was an anomaly. He didn't blend in—he stood apart, a force unto himself. His sheer presence demanded attention, commanding both fear and respect in equal measure.For me, it was always fear.The room, already heavy with unease, grew silent. The air shifted, thick with tension. The others—those who moments ago seemed so bold and untouchable—now shrank back, their discomfort evident. It wasn't just the destruction he'd caused or the creature that accompanied him. It was him. His very being radiated authority, danger, and something darker.I pressed myself harder against the wall, wishing I could disappear entirely. My hands trembled as I clutched at my torn clothing, my heart pounding so loudly I was sure everyone could hear it. Whatever was about to happen next, I knew one thing for certain: nothing would ever be the same.He wore clothes similar to what he had worn on Judgment Day—regal, imposing, and unmistakably a symbol of power. It might have been the standard attire for a king, but on him, it did more than signify authority; it magnified his presence. The intricate embroidery on the dark fabric shimmered faintly in the dim light, accentuating his broad shoulders and tall frame. He reminded me of the man I had once seen in his room, long ago. That Zavi had seemed human—approachable even. This Zavi, the Raza, was anything but.He didn't look at me. Not even a glance in my direction. He stood there, looming over Akun, his piercing glare fixed on his younger brother. His indifference cut deeper than any insult could have. He didn't ask if I was okay or how I'd ended up here. It was as if I didn't exist."Why would you demean yourself by raping a woman, a human at that?" Zavi's voice was calm—too calm. His tone didn't carry the warmth of concern or the fire of outrage. It was cold, calculated, and heavy with disdain. "I don't want the Hurim name to be tainted because of your irresponsible behavior."Ashu, the creature who had saved me, released Akun from his powerful grip with a final, menacing growl. Akun scrambled back, his breath uneven, but his pride clearly wounded."Sorry, brother," Akun muttered, bowing his head. But the tight clench of his jaw and the simmering anger in his eyes told another story. His apology wasn't born of regret; it was forced, a means to an end.I stayed where I was, frozen and small. I wanted to speak—to plead for Zavi's help—but his cold demeanor made the words die in my throat. He had to know who I was. There was no way he didn't recognize me. And yet, he hadn't acknowledged me. Not once. He didn't ask how I had ended up here or whether I was all right. How could I ever expect him to help me go back if he wouldn't even look at me?The sound of hurried footsteps broke the tension. Nizain entered the room, his expression a mixture of alarm and frustration. He stopped abruptly, his eyes scanning the scene. His gaze landed on me briefly—long enough for me to see the flash of regret or pity there—before shifting to Akun, who was still sitting on the floor."What did you do?" Nizain demanded, crouching down to meet Akun's eyes. His voice carried an edge, but it lacked the cold authority of Zavi's."Disgracing the family name, what else?" Zavi answered for him, his tone sharp enough to cut."You know the rules, Akun," Nizain said through gritted teeth."I know." Akun's voice was clipped, his anger barely contained. "I wouldn't dare to touch her again, you have my word." The promise sounded hollow, more a challenge than a concession.Old Zavi would have been relieved to hear those words. He would have trusted his brother and believed the matter resolved. But this Zavi—the Raza—didn't so much as flinch. He turned on his heel, his cloak billowing slightly as he moved, and headed for the door."Take care of this mess," he spat, not even looking back as he left the room.Nizain's gaze softened briefly as he watched Zavi leave, his shoulders slumping in something that looked like an apology. He helped Akun to his feet and guided him out of the room, one hand firm on his shoulder. The rest of the crowd dispersed soon after, whispering amongst themselves as they left.The room, which had been chaotic and full moments ago, now felt eerily empty. But not everyone had left. A few of the girls remained, chained to the floor like I was. They sat quietly, their faces blank, resigned.Hours passed before someone finally came to release us. By then, the first rays of sunlight were streaking through the windows. I stumbled to my feet, my legs shaking beneath me. No one offered me a hand or even a glance of sympathy as I made the long, humiliating walk back to my room. My shredded dress clung to my body in tatters, exposing more than it covered.I didn't cry. I told myself there was no reason to. Nothing had happened—not really. Worse things had happened to the other women here. But the humiliation burned in my chest like a live ember, scorching my insides.Someone knocked on my door, calling me for breakfast. I couldn't bring myself to answer, let alone leave the room. Even if I wanted to, I had nothing to wear but the ruined scraps of fabric hanging from my frame. I sank onto the edge of the bed, pulling what was left of the dress around me like a shield, and stared at the wall. I didn't cry. But I wanted to.No one bothered me for the rest of the day. The relief should have been comforting, but it wasn't. As the sun dipped below the horizon and the other girls began preparing for their "work," I retreated into the bathroom, clutching the remnants of my sanity as though they were the only things keeping me alive.I sat on the cold floor, knees tucked under my chin, rocking back and forth as dark thoughts swirled around me. No matter how tightly I wrapped my arms around myself, I couldn't stop the tremors. I kept imagining someone storming through the door, yanking me out by the hair, and dragging me back to that room—the room where screams echoed endlessly and where humanity died piece by piece.My imagination didn't stop there. This time, I was certain, someone wouldn't stop with just threats. They'd rape me. They'd kill me. And I'd be left a forgotten stain on the cold, stone floor, just like the others.Hours passed like that—my back pressed against the wall, flinching at every sound from outside the door. The palace was never truly silent. There was always the faint hum of activity, the echo of footsteps, or the murmurs of voices carrying down the halls. Each noise sent a fresh wave of dread crashing over me.Finally, the exhaustion won. My body begged for rest, and I crawled out of the bathroom, sliding under the thin sheets on the bed. My mind refused to settle, but my body couldn't fight anymore. I sat upright on the edge of the mattress, staring at the door, waiting for something to happen.When the knock came in the middle of the night, I froze.It wasn't loud, but it echoed through the room like a thunderclap. My breath caught in my throat."Who is it?" The words came out in a trembling whisper—human words."I need to talk to you," came the reply. It was a man's voice. Familiar, but not familiar enough. The Ashudhar accent thickened the vowels, masking his identity further."You can tell me through the door," I stammered, clutching the bedsheet tightly around my naked body.A pause. Too long for my liking. My heart pounded in my chest, every muscle in my body on edge, ready to run even though there was nowhere to go."I'm not here to hurt you," he said finally, his voice softer. "I just need to talk."I didn't believe him. How could I? After everything that had happened, trust was a foreign concept. But what choice did I have? If he wanted to break in, he would. If he wanted to hurt me, no one would stop him. I was utterly alone in this place.After a moment of hesitation, I made the decision. A bad one, maybe even a stupid one, but I had no other options. I snapped the door open, just wide enough to peek out.Nizain stood on the other side, a bundle of clothes in his hands."I got you some clothes," he said, holding them out to me.I stared at him, my heart still racing. I didn't know if I could trust him. I didn't know if I could trust anyone here. But the sight of the clothes—the soft fabric that promised some small piece of comfort—was enough to break through my fear, just a little.I reached out, taking them without saying a word. The concept of gratitude felt foreign, irrelevant. Thanking him felt unnecessary. He was part of this place, part of my torment."Can I come in?" he asked, smiling.It wasn't a threatening smile, but it didn't set me at ease either."Do you have to?" I asked, my voice weak and resigned.He shrugged, a nonchalant gesture that didn't answer my question. I realized then that I didn't really have a choice."Wait," I said, closing the door in his face.Quickly, I unfolded the clothes and slipped into them. They were similar to the outfit I'd worn the day before—silk, flowing, and form-fitting. It wasn't comforting, but it was better than being exposed.When I opened the door again, Nizain was still standing there, hands in his pockets, his expression calm and patient."Come in," I said, stepping aside.He walked in, his eyes scanning the room briefly before settling on me. I felt exposed, even with the clothes on, but I stood my ground. Whatever he wanted, I had no choice but to hear him out.Nizain strolled into the room like he owned it—which, for all I knew, he did—and made himself comfortable on the edge of my bed. His posture was relaxed, but his sharp eyes missed nothing."I am sorry for what happened yesterday," he said after a moment, his tone calm, almost casual. "Akun is the youngest of us. He doesn't know right from wrong."I stared at him, disbelief surging through me. His words hit me like a slap."Your world is messed up if people don't know that raping a woman is not right," I snapped, my voice shaking but firm.To my utter disgust, he chuckled. He actually chuckled."I know how it looks," he said, the faintest hint of amusement still lingering in his tone. "But this is the last time anyone will touch you against your will, I promise.""And you're saying that in a whorehouse?" The words slipped out before I could stop them. Maybe I should shut up now, I thought. Maybe I should focus on asking for help, but the bitterness wouldn't stay contained.His expression shifted, his amusement replaced with something unreadable. "I didn't bring you here for... for that. I wanted to keep you inside the palace. That's it.""Why?" I asked, suspicion lacing my voice. I didn't understand his motives."I have my reasons," he said curtly, avoiding my eyes for the first time. Then his gaze hardened as he looked up. "Was it Meekh who took you to the pain room?""That's quite an appropriate name for the room," I shot back, my words dripping with sarcasm. Now that the dam had broken, the words just kept spilling out."Yes, it is," he replied, a faint smile tugging at his lips, though it didn't reach his eyes. "You should rest. We'll meet again sometime."He stood up, adjusted his clothes, and gave me one last look before walking out of the room.For a while, I just sat there, staring at the closed door. The tension in my body didn't ease, even though he was gone.The next few weeks in the Kaambh quarters were uneventful, but the unease never fully left me. No one bothered me, not directly at least, and for that, I was grateful. I could walk through the quarters without being stopped or harassed. Most of the girls eyed me curiously, some with thinly veiled disdain, but none came near me.I wandered around the parts of the quarters I dared to explore. The courtyard, where the orgies took place, was both mesmerizing and repulsive. Bodies tangled together in the open air, moans and laughter blending with the rustling of leaves. It was a strange display of intimacy turned into a spectacle, and I couldn't decide if it fascinated or horrified me.But I avoided the pain room like the plague. I didn't need to go back there to know the horrors it contained. From the window of my room, I often saw women descending the stairs leading from that wretched place. Their faces were pale, their bodies bruised and broken, some sobbing quietly while others were too numb to react. Some had to be carried by the slave women, their legs unable to support their weight.By the end of the first week, a suffocating loneliness settled over me. I was dying for someone—anyone—to talk to. Even though Ashujans weren't human, they were close enough, and I craved some form of interaction. But the silence around me persisted, and my isolation felt like its own form of torture.It was strange, being left alone in a place like this. For a while, I thought it might be some sort of twisted mercy. But as the days stretched on, I started to wonder if it wasn't just another way to break me.The Kaambh quarters were a cage, but the oppressive monotony finally broke when I ventured out one morning, just before dawn.It was bright and sunny, birds chirming, colors saturated. My steps were hesitant, but the cool air and open sky called to me.Beyond the gate stretched a stone-carved bridge that I vaguely remembered crossing when I first arrived. From what I could tell, the entire palace was perched atop a mountain, its vast architecture blending seamlessly with the natural rock. Beside the bridge's mouth was a garden carved directly into the stone, a surprising burst of life amidst the cold, harsh surroundings.The valley below was cloaked in dense fog, the world beyond the palace veiled in mystery. The garden itself was a marvel—a vibrant, self-contained ecosystem. A gentle stream trickled through the center, its water so clear I could see the small, colorful stones beneath the surface. Tiny, foreign birds flitted around, dipping their beaks into the stream or chirping softly as they perched on the carved stone edges.I crouched by a cluster of flowers near the stream, their vibrant colors catching my eye. They resembled butterflies, their delicate petals ranging from deep maroon to fiery red. I reached out instinctively, curious to feel their texture."They're poisonous," a voice warned, cutting through the quiet.I gasped, snapping my hand back as I spun around. My heart raced as I recognized the figure standing behind me. Nizain.He wasn't wearing his usual princely attire. Instead, he looked casual and almost approachable in a loose peasant shirt and cotton pants. The contrast was jarring."Don't worry," he chuckled softly, raising his hands as if to show he meant no harm. "I won't tell anyone you were sneaking around."I placed a hand on my chest, willing my heart to calm down. "Why are you being nice to me?"He shrugged, his eyes glinting with amusement. "You've learned our language quite well," he remarked, deftly dodging my question."I'm doing what I have to do to survive," I replied flatly, keeping my tone as neutral as possible.Nizain tilted his head, studying me with a faint smile that sent an uneasy shiver down my spine. If Zavi was the devil, Nizain was a playboy straight from hell."I should go," I said hastily, turning to sprint back toward the Kaambh quarters.When I reached my room, I found Meekh waiting by the door, her figure poised and intimidating. Her long leg peeked through the high slit of her dress, adding to her commanding presence."Where were you?" she demanded, her voice sharp as she placed a hand on her hip."Just... taking a walk," I lied, struggling to keep my voice steady."Where?"I hesitated, swallowing hard. I didn't want to tell her about the garden or Nizain. I had no idea what the consequences might be."Next time you decide to wander off to forbidden places, remember this," she said coldly, her eyes narrowing. "Ashudhar is not like the human world. One mistake gets you killed here."I nodded silently, but her warning didn't deter me. The allure of the garden and the quiet freedom it represented was too tempting to resist.The next day, I returned. This time, Nizain wasn't there, and to my surprise, I felt a pang of disappointment. Despite my better judgment, I had enjoyed talking to him, even if I knew I couldn't trust him.Exploring further, I discovered a small metal gate carved into the mountain's side. I pushed it open cautiously and stepped into a circular room dominated by a large, deep pool at its center. The room was eerily silent except for the faint echo of dripping water. My eyes were drawn to a group of slave women scrubbing the stone floor near the pool."Thika?" I called out, my voice low but hopeful.One of the women looked up sharply, her face lighting up with recognition before quickly clouding with fear. She glanced around nervously, scanning for guards."What are you doing here?" she whispered urgently, hurrying over to me."I got out for a moment," I said with a small, tentative smile. Seeing her after so long filled me with a strange sense of relief.She eyed me critically, her gaze lingering on the clothes I wore—still the ones Nizain had given me weeks ago. The fabric fit better now; I had regained some of the weight I'd lost in the slave sheds. Her expression was hard to read, and I couldn't tell if she approved or not."Did they hurt you?" she asked, her voice softening with concern."No," I replied quickly.She grabbed my arm and pulled me toward the corridor I had entered from. "I heard about Akun," she whispered.The mention of his name sent a shudder through me. The memories of that day were still too fresh, too raw."I'm fine now," I said, trying to sound convincing. Relief flooded my voice as I added, "I wasn't violated."Thika sighed, her shoulders relaxing slightly. "That's good," she said, though her voice carried an undertone of lingering worry."How have you been?" I asked, eager to steer the conversation away from Akun."They replaced the old Auri with a new one," she said, her tone cautious. "This one is a little less cruel.""I'm glad," I said, pulling her into a hug. "I miss you. I don't have anyone to talk to in Kaambh."Thika pulled back, her expression serious. "Being in the palace is all about survival, Kirti. Keep your head down and follow the rules, and you'll live.""What if we could escape?"Her eyes widened in alarm, and she glanced around the room again, as if expecting someone to burst in and punish us for even whispering the word."There is no way to escape this palace," she said firmly, her tone brooking no argument.I didn't push the topic further. I could see the fear in her eyes, and I didn't want to make her more uncomfortable. Instead, I stayed by her side as she cleaned, relishing the simple comfort of her presence.When I mentioned Ashu and Zavi's intervention with Akun, Thika seemed genuinely shocked. She told me that Akun had been assaulting women for as long as she could remember, and Zavi had never stepped in before."You know why he did it," she said quietly, almost to herself. "Having sex with a human is worse thing a royal can possibly do."Her words stung, twisting the situation into something it wasn't. But deep down, I couldn't shake the thought that maybe, just maybe, Zavi had acted to save me.No matter how much I hated him now, I couldn't forget the man I had once known—the man who had left me with memories that would haunt me for the rest of my life.