The Seed Of Change

Saki leaned forward, propping her chin on her hands, eyes glinting with mischief.

"Isn't it kinda funny? You're older, but your little brother's getting engaged first." she says with no hidden disdainful meaning behind her words and yet still manages to hit a spot. I pause. A faint blush creeps onto my cheeks. I feel the embarrassment bubble up—Shouta, my younger brother 2 years younger than me. He just got engaged to his girlfriend of 5 years, I'm happy for Shouta, but... it stings knowing that my baby brother is not only being taken away but has already reached a point in his life where he knows who he wants to spend the rest of his life with. I thought that would be me first . I was supposed to be his role model. And yet, I feel my hands clutch onto my skirt as they rest on my lap. I feel myself mutter "Hey, stop. It's not my fault, okay? I..." The corners of my mouth falls as my thoughts crawl its way to memories I wish I knew why were so painful. I feel my surroundings fade along with my voice, thoughts unravelling like loose threads. The café disappears. My thoughts engulf me, taking me back to a memory that should have been long forgotten. I smiled softly "...And then Yukari said—" mid way through my ex boyfriend interrupts "You're so cute." I stop, my words catch in my throat, swallowed by his comment. I blink, lips parting slightly—only to close again. The warmth in my voice disappeared, exchanged for a lump that couldn't be swallowed down. Another conversation lost, another moment reducing me to merely my looks. Again. I don't know what to say so I say nothing. I just smile as always but it doesn't reach my eyes. it's all they ever care about, it's always the same, just the same cycle over and over. They don't care about me, they just care about my looks, not about me. A soft clatter pulls me back from the depths of my mind. The sound of the chatter of the café filled my ears once again. A waiter sets our drinks down. My gaze flickers to my cup; jasmine tea. No honey. It's a small thing. Insignificant, really. But somehow, it still manages to chip away at my confidence. Before my thoughts can slip into the path of endless loathing, the waiter returns, placing a small jar of honey beside my tea carefully. I look up to see a pair of magnetic grey eyes staring back at my own "I thought you might need this." the words roll off his tongue naturally as if silk. my voice catches as I try muttering a thank you but before I even say anything he just gives me an acknowledging smirk then turns and walks away smoothly. My gaze is stolen back by Saki's squeal "that guy was soooo hot" she exclaims

"huh" I respond confused

"Didn't you see how hot he was" I open the jar of honey and use my spoon to mix it in with my tea. "I guess I didn't look properly"

"Booo" she responds with but as I sip my tea my gaze falls to the window beside our , watching the sakura trees sway in the wind a small smile creeps across my lips. He was quite good looking, but it was more his kindness that stood out to me.

***The rest of the day went by smoothly and yet not so at the same time. Saki and I did a lot of walking around. It was nice and peaceful, but my head was buzzing the entire time.My thoughts were consumed by our brief encounter though small it had an impact on me. It felt strange. I don't usually get affected by strangers like this. I don't normally even think about people like this, much less a man. I don't really want to admit it, but I can't help myself from feeling intrigued by him. But even so, I know nothing about him, not even his name.I wonder if we'll ever meet again? As the day comes to an end I realise I had forgotten my scarf an my footsteps halted soon followed by Saki's "What's wrong?"

"I think I left my scarf at the café"

"Seriously Lillianne why aren't I surprised, you can be so forgetful. its fine go get it I'll wait here okay"

"Are you Sure?""of course now gooo, I'll be right here"

"Okay thanks Saki!" I say before running back in the direction of the café.The jingle of the café's front door fills the now quiet café as I rush inside. My eyes immediately fall on the scarf neatly folded on a table. I take it gratefully, wrapping it around myself. "You forgot your scarf" the waiter from before now behind, his voice startles me slightly as I turn around a bit flushed now. It's not a question though. "I yeah I guess I'm a bit of an airhead" I respond a bit awkwardly, in return he gives me that same smirk from before .As I start to walk back towards the exit I can't help but steal a glance back and just as I do our eyes meet once again and just then he says "Come again" with that smirk still practically engraved into his skin. I feel my face heat just the littlest bit.I nod in acknowledgement and then walk out the café, the door slamming behind me.The cold air hits my face like a slap waking me up from my moment of brief entrance. My gaze is fixed to the pavement as I make my way back. My feet move almost robotically, the cold seeping into the soles of my shoes. That Day was when without even realising my first real love had already started blooming into a small cherry blossom sprout—its delicate petals unfurling, slowly colouring the wintered corners of my heart.