The GILF

Damn, she looks hella good for her age!

Wait… Why does it say her Mood is Murderous right now…?

What about our moment?? Was our burning passion all a lie!?

Before I could think any more nonsense, Amilia's expression turned fierce as she stared daggers into my soul. The atmosphere between her and me was suffocated by a crimson-red aura that took on a sharp, physical shape.

She clearly wasn't the least bit happy with me right now. But I had a very strong feeling telling me that this was just a small rough patch in our relationship. In no time at all, we'd bounce back and become the power couple of the centur—

CRACK—!

Hearing and seeing the glass of her window crack, I knew it was my cue to go.

"Sorry, sexy GILF!" I shouted as I breezed past her window and picked up all the Attribute Orbs dropping out of her. "Though we aren't fated right now, I promise to find you again! Then our love can be renewed! You and me, baby, for life— Holy sh*t, not in the face—!"

Before I could make my grand retreat with the loot, the glass pane to Amilia's room shattered. Glass shards flew everywhere, hitting me in various spots. Yet, it was not the glass that truly set me off—it was the angrily gorgeous woman floating through the shards like Omni-Man.

The shards seemed to freeze in time before they could make contact with the ground. Even the swaying blades of grass and the ambient sounds came to an abrupt halt. The area for hundreds of meters was reduced to an eerie, slow-moving silence.

I, of course, was within this sphere of influence and was thus stuck in a running motion. One of my feet was frozen mid-air, whereas the other was planted in the ground. Cracks were present around my planted foot, for I had planned to race away at max speed.

But well… you could see how that turned out…

"Who are you?" Amilia's emotionless voice dripped into my ears like the sharpest of knives, her enchanting figure already standing right in front of me. "Why were you watching outside my window?"

That… Hmm??

I couldn't speak.

Realizing my dilemma, Amilia stopped affecting the area around my mouth.

"Speak," she said, her expression a mixture of indifference and anger. "If your answer isn't satisfactory, then I'll be forced to act on whatever punishment I deem fit for you."

Listening to those words and understanding how serious she was, my mind spiraled. Countless thoughts were brought forward, but very few of them seemed like they'd help me in this predicament I found myself in.

However, in the end, I knew precisely what I had to say:

"I see dead people."

"…You see what?" Amilia asked. "What does that mean?"

"It means exactly what it sounds like it means," I said while feeling the suffocating pressure in the area lessen considerably. "I saw a dead person near your window, so I climbed up here to prepare a sneak attack on the fiend. That ghost! Shame on it for waiting outside a young lady's room like some sort of common-day pervert!"

Amilia narrowed her stunning eyes at this nonsensical babble.

"…Is this truly what happened?"

"Why, of course!" I answered, holding twisted fingers within my Mind Space. "I never lie! Just ask my father and mother—they'll back me up."

"Your father and mother?" Amilia asked. "Who are they?"

Who are they, you ask?? Heh~

"Why, pretty young miss," I said with an innocent smile. "My parents are the Count and Countess of this very land. Count Falazar and Countess Falazar."

"???"

"You're a child of the Falazars??" Amilia asked, slight surprise flashing past her eyes. "Are you playing with me right now? If so, then I'll have no choice but to—"

"Yep, yep," I interrupted, ignoring her flaring killing intent. "I really am of the Falazar's Main Bloodline, and not only that, I'm the eldest son! The one first in line to succeed my father!"

Bragging was okay, always!

Especially when it made someone's expression contort in such an oh-so-gratifying way.

After a brief pause and a dispersion of killing intent, Amilia bowed slightly.

"My apologies, Young Master Knox," she said, her expression still impassive. "I was unaware that it was you—and also of your… proclivity for the souls that have been left to meander the world of the living. If not for you, I could've gotten Miasma poisoning from that pesky bug over there."

Wait, huh!?

Before my very astonished eyes, I watched as the extraordinarily powerful GILF made a claw gesture in a certain direction. She closed her clawed hand—and bam—there suddenly appeared an illusory humanoid figure.

It resembled that of an old man and was violently wiggling in place, fear having replaced its lust.

What the f*ck!? I was right!??

How can something so coincidental happen to me, of all people?? Someone who was reborn thousands of times—each time a Cripple!

Wait… Did something as lucky as this happen because of my first Title? The Thousand Times a Virgin one?

[Yes, that's correct. These are just a few of the benefits that come from doing what you do best—retaining your virginity.]

This… You really want me to remain a virgin loser forever, don't you…?

[The latter part of your reiteration is something you got covered all by yourself. But yes, you being a virgin for as long as possible is one of my goals!]

Why is that, though…? How does an entity like you profit from me being a virgin?