The Alpha's First Love

ALPHA RAY 

Year 2006

(Winter, The U.R.T, Furnace Mount Buddhist Monastery)

How do you tell someone without saying it out loud that she didn't murder her father—her mother did?

Besides the real killer, Ray's the only one who knows the truth. He feels responsible to tell Kate. His gut says that she'll wither with the guilt she's carrying. 

For days now, Ray finds himself spending every waking second at Kate's side. He's with her as she studies, he eats and then plays with her. Hide-and-seek is her favourite, although she's utterly bad at it. 

And he's tried everything. Messages on walls, on floors, on papers. Hints in images, shadows, and green peas. 

None of them worked. 

Either she's dumb—or he is. 

Kate is having a Science lesson in the study again, and Ray still can't tell whether the monk is chanting his prayers or teaching the dangers of electricity. He's heard a little about electricity from his mother so that adds to boredom. 

Another idea pops in, in the middle of the hundredth yawn, and Ray gives it another shot.

The last one. 

It's highly risky, but he's at his wits' end. Closing his eyes, he tucks his snout behind his forepaws and pretends that he's asleep. 

But he whispers, "Your mother did it, not you…." 

"Hmm?" Kate perks like a meerkat, rubbing her drowsy eyes. 

And the monk taps firmly on the board. "Kate, please pay attention." 

"Andrew, what did the moth eat?" 

Andrew blinks hard, utterly confused. "What moth?" 

"The moth," replies Kate, her eyes wide and innocent, her back straight, her pen ready to take notes. 

"Which one?" 

"There's more than one?!" 

"I'm… not sure. Where did you see them?" asks Andrew, genuinely concerned. 

Kate scratches her head, equally puzzled. "I didn't see any moths." 

"Then why did you ask?"

"Because you said—." 

That's it—we're both dumb, Ray concludes and carries his defeated deadpan face out the room. 

Perhaps, he should return to Kate's quarters and wait for her there. Her bed is more comfortable than the books. Classes aren't really his thing, even back home. 

Ray slows down his trotting, his mind heavy with worry. 

He's never been away from home for this long. His mother's probably worried sick. His siblings are probably searching for him—. 

"... he just can't say 'no' to her, can he?" Someone chuckles. 

Ray instantly knows who 'her' is: Kate is the only female around. He peers through the kitchen door, and the smell of freshly baked bread that had nearly lured Kate into stealing some for herself is now enticing him. The monk who teaches Kate Math putting a slice of toast on a plate. 

"Can you?" The monk smiles as he places the plate on the tray. "After what Tim said." 

Behind him, someone sighs. "Poor soul… I wished she'd never know what her mother did to her. I'd be heartbroken if I were her."

An angry clang erupts from inside the kitchen, and a much younger voice blurts, "I still can't accept this! How can they put a child on the electric chair?" 

"It's an electric shock treatment—."

"Running electricity through a child? Are they even human?"

The dangers of electricity—Andrew was just talking about it. 

Goosebumps pour in, and then anger. 

"They thought she needed help. They were told that she—." The older monk pauses, then, in a strained voice, continues, "That she harms animals and hurts people." 

Ray's anger rises. That girl saved him from the clutches of death! She flinches each time she catches a stern look! Are they—?

"Are they blind?!" A guttural cry explodes, echoing Ray's roar. 

And all the cooking halts. 

"Just because a mother said so and they take her word for it? What's wrong with them?" 

Another voice shrugs. "Mothers know best?" 

"And what mother would do that to her own daughter?!" The angry voice snaps.

And silence of indignance stretches over to Ray. Then, he thought of his own mother. Her gentle voice, her kind smiles. Why did he find her suffocating? She only wants to protect him; she'd never do what that evil woman did to Kate. 

"It's her destiny to know." 

Ray snaps out of his memories.

"That's why we must make her laugh as much right now." A hand places a glass of milk beside the plate of toast. "Laughter's the best food for the soul, isn't it?" 

Suddenly, it's clear to Ray.

He's only met Kate for what—four days? (He was out for the first six, so they don't count.) And he gets to decide when she gets the truth? He's no different from his mother then. If he told Kate the truth, she might die too. He might as well be that hand around her neck. 

But I don't want to kill her. I just don't want her to feel bad for something she didn't do. 

He can't explain it. Her pain, he felt it. As though it was his. 

The kind of pain you can't control. You wished it would end. You wanted it to end. Yet, you're afraid of what that might bring. She wants to not kill her father. But she didn't do it! 

Reynold always says that knowledge is power. But in Kate's case, maybe not knowing is better. 

"Let's just hope that that wolf doesn't eat her," another voice remarks. "Are we really not telling her? I shake in fear every time she calls it 'Snowy' like it's a pup." 

Me too, Ray thought with a frown of distaste. But why in Goddess' name would I eat a human? Are they crazy?!

But wait. 

Ray stares at his forepaws on the wooden floors. A new thought is forming in his mind. 

Maybe that's what Kate needs. Someone to be with her.

Ray lifts his right paw to his eyes. 

Staying with Kate would mean staying in this wolf form. At this, fear swarms to his mouth. He wants to throw up. 

*****

"You'll be here forever, won't you, Snowy?" 

Her eyes are so big and round, Ray thought he saw the entire beautiful night sky in them. All the stars he'd been wanting to swim in. Now, he can. All he needs to say is—. 

Yes, he blurts inside. Outside, his tongue brushes lightly across her right brow, like a kiss. 

And she giggles, grabbing him closer. 

Why is it sweet? Ray tries again. He licks her lashes, and she giggles harder, encouraging him. Bolder, he licks her left cheek. Tastes like honey? He presses his snout into the crevice where her jawline and neck joins, and her scent fills up his lungs. 

"I love you too," she whispers, pushing her body close to her chest, wrapping him with her warmth. "We'll be together forever, Snowy. You and me. We're family now." 

His tail goes around her, stroking her back in a comforting way. I… love you too, Kate Ares. All that uncertainty vanishes instantly. We'll be together forever. You're… you're….. 

He can't bring himself to say 'family' because his own family—his mother, the King, his brothers and sisters—swarms in once more, crowding his mind, repelling the girl in his arms. 

And then the uncertainty slides back in. 

"You're the only one I have now, Snowy. Only you believed me. You believed that I didn't kill Daddy." She's rubbing her nose in his neck again. 

Ray does the same. The top of his head nuzzles against her neck. He pushes the reeling images of his family and their worrying faces out of his head, then kisses the soft throbbing of the side of her neck. 

I'll stay here. I'll stay here with you, Kate. You can trust me too. I'll be your family! I'll tell them. Father, mother, and the others. I'll tell them that I'm needed here. 

He pulls back to take a good look at her, and so does she. Her hand reaches out to stroke his snout, and his paw did the same, brushing warm strokes down her cheek. 

I can do it. For you, I'll stay in this wolf form forever. For you, I'll stay with you forever. I won't ever leave. 

Lightly, she leans in and kisses the tip of his nose. "When the snow stops, Fang Zhang says we can go outside and play. Let's pray for the snow to stop, shall we?" She presses her forehead onto his and closes her eyes. 

Ray doesn't close his. His mind is busy, furiously finding a way to send the message to his family.