Chapter 2: "My Army is Full of Idiots?!"

1. A Queen's First Meeting... Goes Horribly Wrong

Lina Everheart, a perfectly normal girl who somehow woke up in the body of the infamous Demon Queen, had one goal: survive and escape.

Unfortunately, that was proving difficult when her own army was full of morons.

She sat at the head of a massive obsidian table in the Demon Castle's war chamber, surrounded by her top generals. They all looked terrifying, powerful… and, as Lina was quickly realizing, completely ridiculous.

Zarek, the war-crazed swordsman, was sharpening his blade on his own armor while muttering, "Blood. Battle. Victory."

Mira, the ice mage, sipped tea like she was at an elegant noble's banquet and casually asked, "Shall we crush the humans at dawn or wait until tea time?"

Grok, the massive beast warrior, scratched his stomach and asked, "Are we getting snacks after this?"

Fizz, the goblin scientist, was giggling as he shook a bubbling vial labeled "EXPLOSIVE—DO NOT SHAKE."

Lina let out a long, exhausted sigh. This was her army? These were her top strategists?!

"Alright," she said, forcing a smile. "Since I've, uh, been away for a while, I'd like an update on… everything?"

Zarek slammed his fist on the table. "Of course, my Queen! Our army is ready! Just give the command, and we shall march upon the humans and bathe in their screams!"

Lina choked on air. "WHAT?! NO SCREAM BATHING!"

Zarek looked heartbroken. "But… it's tradition."

"No! No more war!" she shouted. "Didn't I say we were changing strategies?!"

Mira set down her teacup with an amused smirk. "Yes, but I assumed that was a test. A clever trick to lull the humans into a false sense of security before we mercilessly destroy them."

Lina paled. "No, I meant it! We need peace!"

Another silence. The demons stared at her like she had just declared she wanted to turn the Demon Castle into a daycare center.

Then, Grok raised his hand. "So… no snacks?"

Fizz, still shaking his unstable potion, suddenly gasped. "Wait. If we're not attacking humans… does that mean I can test my inventions without restrictions?!"

"Uh," Lina hesitated, "sure?"

The goblin cackled in delight and immediately ran off, muttering something about "making a bomb that can turn people into chickens."

Lina pinched the bridge of her nose. What had she just agreed to?

2. The Economy Plan No One Understands

"Alright," Lina sighed, trying to pretend she knew what she was doing. "Since war is off the table, we need to strengthen the Demon Kingdom in other ways."

Mira raised an eyebrow. "And how do you suggest we do that, Your Majesty?"

"Simple!" Lina said, straightening up. "We need an economy!"

Silence.

Grok blinked. "A… what?"

Lina groaned. "You know, an economy! Trade, businesses, gold flow—does no one here know how money works?!"

Zarek crossed his arms. "I usually just take what I want after slaying my enemies."

Mira shrugged. "Same."

Lina stared at them. This kingdom was doomed.

"Okay," she muttered, rubbing her temples. "New plan. If we want to be a strong kingdom, we need to make money so we can afford supplies, food, and—" she glanced at Grok, "—snacks."

Grok's eyes lit up. "I LIKE THIS PLAN!"

"Great! So, we start by—"

Before Lina could finish, the doors burst open and a panicked demon messenger ran in.

3. Bad News: The Hero is Coming

"Your Majesty!" the demon panted. "We have an emergency!"

Lina immediately tensed. "Oh no. What now?"

The messenger gulped. "The Hero is coming!"

Lina froze. "…Excuse me?"

"The Hero! Leon Brightblade!" The messenger's voice shook. "He has heard of your return and is marching toward the Demon Castle as we speak!"

Lina felt her soul leave her body.

THE Hero?! The super-powerful, chosen-by-the-gods warrior whose entire purpose was to slay the Demon Queen?!

She had just decided she didn't want to fight, and now the strongest warrior in the world was coming to kill her?!

Lina screamed internally.

Zarek, however, grinned. "Finally! A true battle! This will be glorious!"

Mira simply sipped her tea. "Oh dear."

Fizz, who had just returned, cackled. "Maybe I should test my chicken bomb on him!"

Grok frowned. "Can I fight him? He sounds tasty."

Lina slammed her hands on the table. "NO ONE IS FIGHTING THE HERO!"

Everyone looked at her, confused.

"But, Your Majesty," Zarek said, confused. "He's coming to kill you."

Lina gulped. Exactly.

And unless she figured out a plan fast, she was probably going to die.

TO BE CONTINUED…1. A Queen's First Meeting... Goes Horribly Wrong

Lina Everheart, a perfectly normal girl who somehow woke up in the body of the infamous Demon Queen, had one goal: survive and escape.

Unfortunately, that was proving difficult when her own army was full of morons.

She sat at the head of a massive obsidian table in the Demon Castle's war chamber, surrounded by her top generals. They all looked terrifying, powerful… and, as Lina was quickly realizing, completely ridiculous.

Zarek, the war-crazed swordsman, was sharpening his blade on his own armor while muttering, "Blood. Battle. Victory."

Mira, the ice mage, sipped tea like she was at an elegant noble's banquet and casually asked, "Shall we crush the humans at dawn or wait until tea time?"

Grok, the massive beast warrior, scratched his stomach and asked, "Are we getting snacks after this?"

Fizz, the goblin scientist, was giggling as he shook a bubbling vial labeled "EXPLOSIVE—DO NOT SHAKE."

Lina let out a long, exhausted sigh. This was her army? These were her top strategists?!

"Alright," she said, forcing a smile. "Since I've, uh, been away for a while, I'd like an update on… everything?"

Zarek slammed his fist on the table. "Of course, my Queen! Our army is ready! Just give the command, and we shall march upon the humans and bathe in their screams!"

Lina choked on air. "WHAT?! NO SCREAM BATHING!"

Zarek looked heartbroken. "But… it's tradition."

"No! No more war!" she shouted. "Didn't I say we were changing strategies?!"

Mira set down her teacup with an amused smirk. "Yes, but I assumed that was a test. A clever trick to lull the humans into a false sense of security before we mercilessly destroy them."

Lina paled. "No, I meant it! We need peace!"

Another silence. The demons stared at her like she had just declared she wanted to turn the Demon Castle into a daycare center.

Then, Grok raised his hand. "So… no snacks?"

Fizz, still shaking his unstable potion, suddenly gasped. "Wait. If we're not attacking humans… does that mean I can test my inventions without restrictions?!"

"Uh," Lina hesitated, "sure?"

The goblin cackled in delight and immediately ran off, muttering something about "making a bomb that can turn people into chickens."

Lina pinched the bridge of her nose. What had she just agreed to?

2. The Economy Plan No One Understands

"Alright," Lina sighed, trying to pretend she knew what she was doing. "Since war is off the table, we need to strengthen the Demon Kingdom in other ways."

Mira raised an eyebrow. "And how do you suggest we do that, Your Majesty?"

"Simple!" Lina said, straightening up. "We need an economy!"

Silence.

Grok blinked. "A… what?"

Lina groaned. "You know, an economy! Trade, businesses, gold flow—does no one here know how money works?!"

Zarek crossed his arms. "I usually just take what I want after slaying my enemies."

Mira shrugged. "Same."

Lina stared at them. This kingdom was doomed.

"Okay," she muttered, rubbing her temples. "New plan. If we want to be a strong kingdom, we need to make money so we can afford supplies, food, and—" she glanced at Grok, "—snacks."

Grok's eyes lit up. "I LIKE THIS PLAN!"

"Great! So, we start by—"

Before Lina could finish, the doors burst open and a panicked demon messenger ran in.

3. Bad News: The Hero is Coming

"Your Majesty!" the demon panted. "We have an emergency!"

Lina immediately tensed. "Oh no. What now?"

The messenger gulped. "The Hero is coming!"

Lina froze. "…Excuse me?"

"The Hero! Leon Brightblade!" The messenger's voice shook. "He has heard of your return and is marching toward the Demon Castle as we speak!"

Lina felt her soul leave her body.

THE Hero?! The super-powerful, chosen-by-the-gods warrior whose entire purpose was to slay the Demon Queen?!

She had just decided she didn't want to fight, and now the strongest warrior in the world was coming to kill her?!

Lina screamed internally.

Zarek, however, grinned. "Finally! A true battle! This will be glorious!"

Mira simply sipped her tea. "Oh dear."

Fizz, who had just returned, cackled. "Maybe I should test my chicken bomb on him!"

Grok frowned. "Can I fight him? He sounds tasty."

Lina slammed her hands on the table. "NO ONE IS FIGHTING THE HERO!"

Everyone looked at her, confused.

"But, Your Majesty," Zarek said, confused. "He's coming to kill you."

Lina gulped. Exactly.

And unless she figured out a plan fast, she was probably going to die.

TO BE CONTINUED…1. A Queen's First Meeting... Goes Horribly Wrong

Lina Everheart, a perfectly normal girl who somehow woke up in the body of the infamous Demon Queen, had one goal: survive and escape.

Unfortunately, that was proving difficult when her own army was full of morons.

She sat at the head of a massive obsidian table in the Demon Castle's war chamber, surrounded by her top generals. They all looked terrifying, powerful… and, as Lina was quickly realizing, completely ridiculous.

Zarek, the war-crazed swordsman, was sharpening his blade on his own armor while muttering, "Blood. Battle. Victory."

Mira, the ice mage, sipped tea like she was at an elegant noble's banquet and casually asked, "Shall we crush the humans at dawn or wait until tea time?"

Grok, the massive beast warrior, scratched his stomach and asked, "Are we getting snacks after this?"

Fizz, the goblin scientist, was giggling as he shook a bubbling vial labeled "EXPLOSIVE—DO NOT SHAKE."

Lina let out a long, exhausted sigh. This was her army? These were her top strategists?!

"Alright," she said, forcing a smile. "Since I've, uh, been away for a while, I'd like an update on… everything?"

Zarek slammed his fist on the table. "Of course, my Queen! Our army is ready! Just give the command, and we shall march upon the humans and bathe in their screams!"

Lina choked on air. "WHAT?! NO SCREAM BATHING!"

Zarek looked heartbroken. "But… it's tradition."

"No! No more war!" she shouted. "Didn't I say we were changing strategies?!"

Mira set down her teacup with an amused smirk. "Yes, but I assumed that was a test. A clever trick to lull the humans into a false sense of security before we mercilessly destroy them."

Lina paled. "No, I meant it! We need peace!"

Another silence. The demons stared at her like she had just declared she wanted to turn the Demon Castle into a daycare center.

Then, Grok raised his hand. "So… no snacks?"

Fizz, still shaking his unstable potion, suddenly gasped. "Wait. If we're not attacking humans… does that mean I can test my inventions without restrictions?!"

"Uh," Lina hesitated, "sure?"

The goblin cackled in delight and immediately ran off, muttering something about "making a bomb that can turn people into chickens."

Lina pinched the bridge of her nose. What had she just agreed to?

2. The Economy Plan No One Understands

"Alright," Lina sighed, trying to pretend she knew what she was doing. "Since war is off the table, we need to strengthen the Demon Kingdom in other ways."

Mira raised an eyebrow. "And how do you suggest we do that, Your Majesty?"

"Simple!" Lina said, straightening up. "We need an economy!"

Silence.

Grok blinked. "A… what?"

Lina groaned. "You know, an economy! Trade, businesses, gold flow—does no one here know how money works?!"

Zarek crossed his arms. "I usually just take what I want after slaying my enemies."

Mira shrugged. "Same."

Lina stared at them. This kingdom was doomed.

"Okay," she muttered, rubbing her temples. "New plan. If we want to be a strong kingdom, we need to make money so we can afford supplies, food, and—" she glanced at Grok, "—snacks."

Grok's eyes lit up. "I LIKE THIS PLAN!"

"Great! So, we start by—"

Before Lina could finish, the doors burst open and a panicked demon messenger ran in.

3. Bad News: The Hero is Coming

"Your Majesty!" the demon panted. "We have an emergency!"

Lina immediately tensed. "Oh no. What now?"

The messenger gulped. "The Hero is coming!"

Lina froze. "…Excuse me?"

"The Hero! Leon Brightblade!" The messenger's voice shook. "He has heard of your return and is marching toward the Demon Castle as we speak!"

Lina felt her soul leave her body.

THE Hero?! The super-powerful, chosen-by-the-gods warrior whose entire purpose was to slay the Demon Queen?!

She had just decided she didn't want to fight, and now the strongest warrior in the world was coming to kill her?!

Lina screamed internally.

Zarek, however, grinned. "Finally! A true battle! This will be glorious!"

Mira simply sipped her tea. "Oh dear."

Fizz, who had just returned, cackled. "Maybe I should test my chicken bomb on him!"

Grok frowned. "Can I fight him? He sounds tasty."

Lina slammed her hands on the table. "NO ONE IS FIGHTING THE HERO!"

Everyone looked at her, confused.

"But, Your Majesty," Zarek said, confused. "He's coming to kill you."

Lina gulped. Exactly.

And unless she figured out a plan fast, she was probably going to die.

TO BE CONTINUED…