Chapter 33 : A Broadcast? Me? Why?

"…That's quite a tough question."

"I'm sorry. I know it might be unpleasant… but it's the most essential question, so I'd appreciate it if you could answer honestly."

Watching Shia's reaction, Choi Bomi, the chief officer, tried to hide her nervousness and maintain her composure.

They had already guessed that she had killed or consumed someone.

She had lived for 64 years in that other world.

No matter how much one tries to preserve humanity and morality, there is no such thing as a perfect person.

Of course, this was the same for other Returnees as well.

All Returnees were survivors of another world.

They must have done whatever it took to survive.

Murder, robbery, assassination, fighting. Most Returnees had to kill to avoid being killed.

Therefore, many Returnees had grown accustomed to the sight of blood.

The Hunter Association had analyzed the power of the Saintess of the Dead, Shia, and realized that she was terrifyingly skilled in murder and combat.

They had come to the conclusion that she had taken multiple lives in her previous world.

Of course, killing people is a frightening and horrible act.

But, the important thing was whether it had been justified.

And whether today she could preserve her humanity and morality and integrate into our society.

"….."

"Miss Shia? If you'd prefer not to talk about it, you don't have to. Every Returnee has the right to remain silent…"

"No, it's not that. I just need a moment to think."

The Saintess should not lie.

Regardless of the god Shia believed in, the rule of not telling lies was a principle and a belief she imposed on herself.

Even if she had to sew her lips shut to remain silent, she vowed never to lie.

It was the hardship and rule she imposed on herself while living as the Saintess of the Dead.

Coincidentally, Menelapie, Teresa, and all the people around her also hated lies.

Probably no one likes lies.

Thus, the Saintess of the Dead, Shia, hated lies as well.

"This might take a while."

"…What?"

As if she had organized her thoughts, Shia closed her eyes.

"…Arktan Loran, the eldest son of Count Loran. A 28-year-old man. After losing his position as heir to his younger sibling, he harbored resentment and colluded with the Demon King's army. He was sentenced to death for neglecting to prevent the deaths of 6,392 of his people."

She started simply.

With the death row prisoners…

"Kalts Ivan, a 31-year-old man. Sentenced to death for raping 19 minors."

"Meiran Stasha, a 42-year-old woman. An assassin. Sentenced to death for the attempted murder of a royal family member."

"Ality Krings, a 58-year-old man. A merchant. He supplied strategic weapons to the Demon King's army and betrayed the location of the Imperial Army. Sentenced to death."

"Iris, a commoner. An orphan, a 12-year-old girl who was imprisoned for a day for stealing bread as a disciplinary action."

"Rocimia Maltaris, sentenced to death for colluding with Arktan Loran and the Demon King's army. Former leader of the knights, a 39-year-old man."

"Milis Maltaris, Rocimia's wife. Also sentenced to death for collusion with the Demon King's army. A 40-year-old woman."

"Glortia, a 32-year-old woman. The head warden of the underground prison of the royal palace. Died while trying to restrain the Saintess of the Dead during a hunger outburst."

"Zvia, a 29-year-old woman. Also known as a 'gold-digger.' She seduced many men and was awaiting trial after being reported, but was killed by the Saintess of the Dead."

"Slaesh, a 73-year-old man. Reported for forbidden black magic research. Killed by the Saintess of the Dead while awaiting trial."

"Moritie Ananta, a 44-year-old woman. Accused of 18 instances of fraud and instigating threats. Died while awaiting trial."

"Ah…"

Million, Norvand, Olivia, Hakdas, Envidia, Florence, Malibu…

Shia continued to speak.

The number of people she named surpassed 10… then 50.

Yet, she didn't stop and continued to name more.

Fifty names passed, then 100, and still, Shia didn't stop naming them.

Shia's eyes, which had been closed at the start, slowly opened when she named the 150th person.

Some had committed crimes that deserved death.

Some were innocent.

There were those who had committed minor offenses.

Some weren't criminals at all, like guards and knights who protected the royal prison.

The ages were all different, and so were the genders.

"Tia Lauria, captain of the 3rd unit of the Imperial Knights. A 31-year-old woman… She tried to stop the hunger outburst of the Saintess of the Dead, but was eaten instead of her subordinate. She was someone who had advanced with me all the way to the Demon King's castle. Tia… When she first joined the Imperial Knights… we had known each other since then. When Tia joined… it was during a time when I was fighting the Demon King's army with Menelapie. When that young girl became the captain of the 3rd unit, it felt so amazing, like watching a daughter graduate from elementary school… But I ended up eating her."

Choi Bomi, the chief officer, realized something clearly.

Those names were all tombstones written in Shia's mind.

"That's all, 192 people. The total number of people who died from the first hunger outburst of the Saintess of the Dead, Shia, in the underground prison of the royal palace."

"…Ah, ugh… hic…"

"Besides them, well… I don't know… Is there no one else? Or maybe I want to remember but just can't. I'm not sure myself…"

They were all people whom Shia had devoured.

Shia, her eyes now open, looked at Choi Bomi.

"Ugh… uu… sniff…"

Choi Bomi, who had been listening blankly to Shia's words, began to tremble slightly.

It wasn't her emotions.

It was the emotions of Shia, the Saintess of the Dead.

However, Shia's face remained calm.

No, rather than calm, her eyes seemed to have frozen like those of a doll.

Her face was frozen with a smile, yet she looked as if she might burst into tears at any moment.

"Sorry. Are you alright?"

"…Ugh, sob…"

Ironically, it was Chief Choi Bomi who burst into tears.

Shia and Choi Bomi were still connected through the Thought Band.

Choi Bomi's Thought Band didn't have the ability to read minds like mind reading.

It only activated the subconscious world, making it easier to grasp emotions.

But as Choi Bomi connected with Shia, the Saintess of the Dead, she was deeply submerged in her psyche.

It felt as if Shia's memories, just before devouring the people, unfolded before Choi Bomi's eyes like a movie.

Each time Shia named one of the people she had consumed, Choi Bomi could feel how deep her guilt ran.

It wasn't a simple feeling like, "I ate them, how pitiful. I'm sorry."

Shia remembered every single human she had devoured.

Some of those who deserved to die had even mocked the Saintess of the Dead.

"They mocked… her… the Saintess of the Dead who saved the world from the Demon King…"

Yet, Shia held not even the slightest grudge against the criminals.

She had no thought of seeking revenge on them.

She forgave them and wasn't angry at all.

But, unfortunately, ever since Shia killed the Demon King, she could no longer "consume malevolent energy."

When the Demon King died, all those possessing malevolent energy were eradicated, and as the previous world became more peaceful, Shia starved and suffered in contrast.

The terrible nature of the hunger that Shia experienced as the Saintess of the Dead was indirectly conveyed to Chief Choi Bomi through their Thought Band connection.

For Shia, pain was hunger, and hunger meant the loss of sanity.

Having defeated the Demon King and being unable to consume malevolent energy, Shia's hunger became an illness and a seizure, which could not be controlled.

Then, Shia led criminals and visited the royal prison to heal those injured during the capture process when her seizure began.

Rather than resenting those who insulted her, the Saintess of the Dead prayed for them forever, apologized, and became enraged with guilt.

She despised and raged against herself for devouring them, even screaming.

What must it have felt like for her to regain her senses and see the blood and chunks of human flesh on her hands?

[Ah, ah… ah… ahhh… ahhhhh!!!! You wretched woman who deserves to die!!!]

What Chief Choi Bomi felt was not only the depth of Shia's guilt and sincerity.

Upon devouring the criminals and barely regaining her sanity after the hunger seizure, Shia actually attempted suicide.

She smashed her own head and mutilated herself until her fists were covered in blood.

But she could not die.

She was the Saintess of the Dead, banished from death.

Even if she crushed her skull, broke her neck, twisted and shattered herself, Shia, the Saintess of the Dead, could not die.

There were also many people who would mourn Shia's death.

In the end, Shia, the Saintess of the Dead, could not even choose her own death.

Shia, suffering and mutilating herself from guilt, was not even allowed the freedom of death.

'How, how on earth… how have you remained sane all this time…?'

Choi Bomi's breathing became ragged, as though time that had stopped suddenly began to flow again.

It felt like a burst of life had been injected into dry, barren land.

Like a sprout blooming on parched earth, Shia's mental world was much the same.

Her mind, long dead and dried up, still had a small oasis remaining, and it was that oasis around which the Saintess of the Dead continued to crave her humanity.

Isiah was no longer human.

She was the Saintess of the Dead.

Yet, she eternally wanted to be human, longed to be human, and desired to prove to herself that she was still human.

"Ha, sob… haah… sob…"

"Are you alright?"

Tears had involuntarily fallen from Chief Choi Bomi's eyes due to the aftereffects of peering too deeply into Shia's emotions, and she lifted her head when she felt a cold touch on her cheek.

It should be Shia herself who was sad, the one who wanted to go mad with self-loathing.

Yet ironically, Shia was the one comforting Chief Choi Bomi.

She could have been angry, accusing her of invading her thoughts without permission.

"It's alright. It's alright. Everything's alright."

"Sob, sob… I should die… haa… haa…"

Shia gently patted Chief Choi Bomi's head like a child, reassuring her.

"Yes, the one who deserves to die is me. Don't worry, everything's fine."

It wasn't until 10 minutes had passed that Chief Choi Bomi managed to control her emotions.

But her heart was pounding harder than ever.

"I, I'm sorry… sniff… I showed such an embarrassing side of myself…"

"It wasn't your feelings. The bad one is me. I'm sorry."

"No, no. It's not your fault at all, Miss Shia… sniff."

Despite her efforts, tears continued to roll down from her eyes, and Chief Choi Bomi used a handkerchief to try and clean her tear-stained face.

A short while later, after barely pulling herself together, Chief Choi Bomi gathered her papers and left the room.

Soon after, the news reached Shia that the second ethics evaluation had been completed.

Shia, checking her face in the mirror to see if her expression was alright, went to Yeonhwa, who had been waiting in the next room.

Of course, Yeonhwa had been watching the ethics evaluation between Shia and Chief Choi Bomi and had an uneasy expression on her face.

"They said they'll let us know the results by the end of the day…"

"I see."

Honestly, Shia wasn't looking at the situation optimistically.

She could have lied, claiming she had never eaten a human, but Shia simply could not bring herself to lie.

Chances were high that the broadcast or whatever it was wouldn't be approved.

If the Hunter Association had any sense, they wouldn't let a crazed, cannibalistic Saintess of the Dead who had eaten over 100 people wear the Hunter Association's badge and appear on TV.

"..."

"...."

A silence hung between the two as they sat on their chairs.

Yeonhwa was probably having similar concerns.

The number of people Shia had devoured was 192.

There might even be more victims that Shia couldn't remember.

The silence was oppressive.

Shia could only guess how Yeonhwa must feel about her sudden confession of her past, but it felt as if she could sense Yeonhwa's emotional turmoil.

It was only natural.

Just hearing someone might have eaten a person was one thing, but actually hearing the experience of someone who had eaten people was like pouring molten lead into an empty mold—it created an entirely different result.

"Yeonhwa."

"Yes…?"

"It wouldn't be strange if you thought I was disgusting, so it's okay."

"…What did you say?"

"192 people. That's just the number of people I remember, the ones for whom I've erected tombstones in my mind. If I completely lost my sanity to the point where I can't remember… then I might have killed, no, devoured even more. It's only natural if you feel disgusted by me."

Yeonhwa bit her lip as she looked at Shia, who was smiling as if nothing was wrong.

"Unnie…"

"Yeah, whatever it is, even if you want to cut ties, just say it."

"…It's true that I'm shocked to hear something so serious out of the blue. But did you really think I would end our relationship, calling you disgusting and repulsive?"

"Isn't it?"

"Of course not! I told you on the first day! The Yeon family doesn't forget gratitude!"

Shia was taken aback by Yeonhwa's reaction, which was cold yet passionate.

I'm saying that I eat people.

You can't just accept that without a second thought.

"Returnees are survivors. Do you know the first social agreement our society made to accept Returnees? It was to embrace those who had to kill to survive, even though they didn't want to kill. Of course, there were crazy Returnees who enjoyed killing. That's why the ethics review system was created!"

"There's a difference between killing people and eating them. You know what I'm trying to say, Yeonhwa…"

"Then you must know what I'm trying to say! Even if Unnie still wants to be human, do you think I'd ignore that?"

"My desire and the hunger seizures have nothing to do with each other."

Despite Shia's words, which seemed like an attempt to push her away, Yeonhwa didn't budge.

Contrary to her ability to control cold, Yeonhwa's eyes were warm, like a soft spring breeze.

"Do you know what my nickname was at the academy?"

"Nickname…?"

"It was Specter."

"Specter… doesn't suit you at all."

"People around me always got hurt or experienced misfortune, so they called me that."

Though she had earned the cold and ruthless nickname of Specter at the academy, the Yeonhwa standing before Shia now was genuinely worried about her more than anyone.

"I always lost the people I wanted to keep close. My family, my friends… all of them… But I don't want to lose anyone anymore. Unnie, we've only known each other for about a month, but that doesn't erase the fact that you saved my life. My desire to treasure you won't disappear."

"..."

"Let me make this clear. I don't find you disgusting, and I won't. And I won't let others think that either. Whether you intended it or not, you've already saved me. And as a member of the Yeon family, I won't forget that kindness."

"…I'm taken aback."

"Let me tell you one more thing, Unnie. If you ever feel so disgusted or revolted by yourself that you want to kill yourself, I'll do whatever it takes to stop you."

That's quite the peculiar way to worry.

"It was you, Unnie, who saved me, the Specter, and reached out to me."

Shia smiled faintly.

"I must be lucky."

In the previous world, I met Menelapie and Teresa.

And in this world, I met you.

Hearing something like that, I can't help but think differently.

"Let's stop talking about heavy stuff and go eat. Eating is the best way to feel better when you're down. We'll get the results later, maybe by text…"

"…I'll treat you today."

At those words, Yeonhwa finally smiled.

"What money do you have to treat me with?"

"I caught a wyvern and got about 700 million won. I can at least buy our Bingu some food…"

Beep beep!

"Returnee Isiah? And Legal Representative Yeonhwa?"

At that moment, the door to the waiting room suddenly opened, and someone walked in.

In their hand were several documents and a small silver badge.

"Permission has just been granted by Minister Kim Si-hyun."

"What?"

"So quickly?!"

Yeonhwa realized something in that moment.

Ah, those minister or Hunter Association folks… maybe they had been planning to put Unnie on some broadcast or something even before I suggested it.

It wasn't just suspicion—it was pretty clear that things were moving suspiciously fast.

"Returnee Isiah is now officially allowed to act as a certified Hunter, although she hasn't been given a formal Hunter rank yet. By the authority of the minister, Hunter Isiah will be allowed to broadcast with the Association's certification mark."

"How can she enter dungeons without a Hunter rank…?"

"By the authority of Minister Kim Si-hyun, Hunter Isiah will be granted access to all dungeons except for a few S-rank dungeons. The minister's authority will take effect one hour from now, at 1:30 PM, and she'll need to visit the Returnee Management Bureau once a month to renew this privilege."

Isn't this happening too fast?