Chapter 41 : Prank!? Prank!! 2
Three months had passed since Shia's return.
Shia had been streaming at random times during that period.
However, the "random times" didn't mean that she streamed diligently and regularly like other streamers.
"Hey there?"
– Oh, the streamer came early.
– Hihi.
– Hi.
– Is this the Antics Saintess' stream?
– Wow, I heard rumors, but look at those solid holy power pockets.
– What the, isn't this a house, not a dungeon?
– That looks like a Returnee's resting place.
– Oh, it's the streamer.
"I'm going out. Which outfit do you think is better, this one or this one?"
– Both.
– I don't know…
– The one on the left will probably rip if you wear it.
– For real, LOL.
"Really? Then I'll go with the left one."
– No, I'm telling you it'll rip.
– Have you even thought about your chest size, LOL?
"But… I don't want to listen to you guys…"
– …?
– What?
– Why did you even ask then, LOL?
"Okay then, see you."
-Stream ended-
– What?
– What the heck?
– Why did she end the stream?
– What was that? I just got here, why is it black?
– Ugh, I ordered chicken, damn it.
– Mom, I'm cold, mom, I'm cold, mom, I'm cold, mom, I'm cold, mom, I'm cold, mom, I'm cold, mom, I'm cold, mom, I'm cold, mom, I'm cold, mom, I'm cold, mom, I'm cold, mom, I'm cold, mom, I'm cold, mom, I'm cold, mom, I'm cold, mom, I'm cold.
– Hey, why didn't you show us your meal!?
Shia would start a stream like this and then end it in 10 minutes… no, sometimes even less than 5 minutes.
Shia never set a regular streaming schedule.
Nor did she make any promises.
There were no announcements of when she would stream, but when she actually streamed properly, the "Hunter Gallery" forum would be dominated by posts about the crazy things she did or the monster dishes she ate.
Despite being a minor streamer, Shia had garnered enough attention that people were convinced a new S-rank Returnee was rising.
The genre's Net-runners and forum users were clearly fascinated by this shooting star named Shia.
However, Shia hadn't done a proper dungeon-cooking broadcast since her official first stream, where she cooked and ate fried Centipede Dragon.
Once, she did visit the third peak of the Kurthala Mountain Range to grab some Wyvern eggs, but aside from that, she mostly streamed mundane moments from her daily life, only to turn off the stream teasingly after 5 or 10 minutes.
Because of this, viewers started getting frustrated.
If she didn't stream at all, they wouldn't even bother expecting anything.
She'd sometimes stream herself shopping for seasoning ingredients at the market for 10 minutes, hyping up the viewers about what crazy dish she'd make next. But the stream would just end after showing the market.
– What is this, can't you at least balance the time?
– Please, please, please, please!
– Just go beyond 10 minutes this time, I beg you.
– What the hell are you doing, LOL?
– Does paying more extend the stream time?
– Haha, just wait. I'll make you stream unlimited time.
Some frustrated viewers even thought about "punishing" the streamer with money.
What's the main goal of most streamers, after all?
Money, donations, support.
All it would take is a single red-background donation from a determined troll to melt even the most jaded and edgy streamer, making them flirt sweetly as if thawed by the warmth of spring.
Some of these wealthy viewers, with more money than sense, planned to show the Antics Saintess the harsh reality of capitalism by throwing money at her, hoping to extend and control her broadcast time.
Any small-time streamer would normally treasure even the smallest donation and cling to it for dear life.
But guess what.
– Wait, why isn't the donation button working?
– Oh, for f*ck's sake!
– Are you kidding me? The streamer didn't even set up donations.
– I'm gonna lose it, for real, LOL.
– LMAO!
– Now that I think of it, the Antics Noona should've had donations by now, but I've never seen her get one?
– Yep, all she had to do was block it.
This insane saintess hadn't even set up a donation option on her stream, preventing these money-laden fans from teaching her a lesson with cash.
Nobody expected that a certified Hunter, one who'd hunted a Centipede Dragon in a single blow, wouldn't have donation settings enabled.
The viewers, now lost without a way to lash out with money, could only scream into the void of the chatroom.
A while later, Shia finally started a stream that lasted more than 10 minutes.
– Please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please.
– Don't cut it off at 10 minutes this time, I beg you.
– You *&%$! Do you even call yourself a streamer?
– Shut up, damn it. What if she gets pissed and ends the stream because of you?
– Noona, noona, noona, noona, noona, noona, noona, noona, noona, noona, noona, noona, noona, noona.
– Heu-eung, I'm baby viewer. Noona, feed me, please.
– Please, please stream properly this time, I beg you.
– She's gonna go out for lunch.
Shia was sitting in a plain where reeds taller than a person swayed in the wind.
It looked like a dungeon, but since Shia hadn't yet mentioned which dungeon she was in, the viewers had no idea where it was.
The most likely guess was the Suwol Plains, but there were more dungeons with plains and reed fields, so it was hard to say for sure.
"Did you miss me?"
– Yeeeeeeeees!!
– Yesyesyesyesyesyes!!
– No, screw you. You stream 5 minutes a day, cut it, and do it over and over again, damn it.
– Dude, shut that guy up!
– The streamer, please ignore that troll, seriously.
"Hehe, I missed you too."
– Oh...
For a brief moment, the chat froze.
It was true that Shia's popularity came partly from being an S-rank Returnee, but her appearance alone was enough to crush any celebrity.
She possessed an alluring aura of holy power.
When Shia smiled brightly and said something like that, the simple-minded viewers seemed to immediately forgive her, despite her being a notorious streamer who only streamed for 5 minutes a day before cutting off.
– Do you think we're suckers who'd fall for her good looks? Yup, we're suckers, oink oink.
– Oink oink oink.
– Squeal! Squeal! Grain feed!
– Streamers who lure viewers in with looks are even more vicious.
– Damn, she's got a pretty expensive face.
– Hnnng.
– Girlfriend voice, priceless.
– From now on, the Antics Saintess is my girlfriend, and any attack on her is an attack on me.
– Cut that crap, for real.
– What did the streamer ever do wrong, LOL?
However, Shia still seemed genuinely fond of the viewers, gazing at the chat with a smiling face.
In truth, Shia was really enjoying herself.
Even though she barely streamed properly and only showed up for 5 minutes a day, from the viewers' perspective, it must have felt like torture. But her original plan for a proper stream was today, a week after she had slain the Centipede Dragon.
In the meantime, she had felt a bit lonely.
Eating alone and sometimes spacing out, she had turned on the stream just to feel like she was with someone for even a few minutes.
Even if it was only for 5 minutes, she wanted to feel the presence of the viewers with her.
'Was I always this prone to loneliness…?'
If she had been alone from the start, it wouldn't have been as bad. But Shia had formed many bonds with people.
In her previous world, there was Menelapie, Teresa, and many other prominent figures of the Empire.
After her return, she had Yeonseo and Yeonhwa.
But you can't always be with people.
Even though Yeonseo had retired as an S-rank Hunter, she was still busy.
And Yeonhwa was sharpening her skills, preparing to ascend to S-rank herself.
Reaching out to them just because she was lonely would be a bit selfish, wouldn't it?
Anyway, today was the day for her second proper broadcast.
Shia smiled brightly as she looked at the drone camera.
With the hologram chatroom burning up with messages next to the drone, Shia finally felt she wasn't alone.
"So, what should I eat today?"
– No, you're supposed to decide that.
– For real, LOL.
– If we suggest something, will you actually eat it?
"Hm? No, I won't eat it."
– Then why did you ask, LOL?
– LOL.
– By the way, open up the donation settings, you *&%$#!
– Yeah, hurry up.
– Open them already!
"Donations?"
– ?
– ??
– ??
– What's with that reaction?
"Was I supposed to set that up separately?"
– Are you saying you need a lesson on how to breathe?
– LOL!
– Burn!
Clearly, Shia had no idea, tilting her head in genuine confusion, which only frustrated the viewers more.
Whether she was acting or not, they had no clue.
"Don't treat me like such an idiot! I've even donated to other Hunter streams before."
– And yet, you don't know how to set up donations?
"…I just forgot, okay?"
– LOL!
– Pew pew? Is there actually a streamer who forgot to set up donations?!
Amidst the viewer's complaints, Shia, now flustered, started fiddling with the broadcast settings through the hologram projected from the drone camera.
Can I even do this…?
Setting up the stream the first time had been a nightmare.
And the sensitivity of the hologram touch controls these days was so high that I'd often press the wrong thing.
This really needed to be fixed.
It should only react to finger touches.
How could it register a touch just because my chest accidentally brushed the hologram?
This was probably why that Kurthala Mountain broadcast went out unintentionally.
['KawaiiHorned' has donated 100,000 won!]
ㄴ I'm claiming the streamer's first donation.
['ChickenShopPot' has donated 10,000 won!]
ㄴ I got the first donation.
['ChickenShopPot' has donated 1,000 won!]
ㄴ Damn, I was late.
– LOL!
– Stole the first donation, LOL.
– Oh, it's possible…
– What's possible, you moron?
['BrothMaker' has donated 30,000 won!]
"Uh…? Is it okay to donate this much?"
As soon as the donation option opened, countless viewers, as if they knew all along, started sending various donation messages without being prompted.
['KawaiiHorned' has donated 30,000 won!]
ㄴ I happened to start watching your first broadcast at Kurthala Mountain. I don't know if you remember, but I was one of the first to watch the Antics Saintess' stream. Your skills are amazing, and you're so pretty, I instantly became a fan. Please stream for a long time.
"Kurthala Mountain broadcast… haha, that was a mistake. I'm not very good at controlling the drone camera, so I must have pressed something wrong. I think it was broadcasted because the hologram got squished against my chest."
– Huh?
– Chest broadcast?
– Is this… a holy power pocket broadcast?
– A broadcast led by her chest (not really).
['HanjoF***er' has donated 5,000 won!]
ㄴ Streamer, hi hi. Use this to buy a soda.
"Uh… no, I don't want to… One soda isn't enough for me…"
– LOL!
– She said no, LOL!
– She said it so seriously, as if it's a real problem, LOL!
"Um, this might be a bit sudden, and it might catch you off guard… but thank you."
– ?
– For what?
– Ah, with one donation, you can tame a streamer, LOL.
"It's not just about the donations. I'm talking to all of you who came to see me."
Shia was sitting by a campfire, knees tucked in, resting her face on them, looking at the drone camera.
Her gaze made it seem as if she were making eye contact with the viewers watching her stream.
"It's not like some grand announcement… But while I'm thankful for the donations, I want to thank everyone who comes to watch a silly stream like mine. Even though my friends worry that there are a lot of trolls on Switch, whether you're a troll, jobless, or someone who spends most of their life on Switch, I genuinely appreciate all of you who come here to see me."
– …Why are my eyes tearing up?
– Damn it, stop the area damage!
– Is this gratitude or AOE damage?
– Aaaaaaahhhhh!
– Stop it! You're gonna kill us all!
From the viewers' perspective, they couldn't tell if it was emotional AOE damage or if she was sincerely grateful, but Shia was truly speaking from the heart.
Growl…
'Hmm, I'm feeling hungry.'
There was still some Malevolent Energy left.
Right now, it was just normal hunger from an empty stomach.
It wasn't severe enough to cause a hunger-triggered outburst, but hunger itself always posed a new threat to Shia.
"By the way, this is the Suwol Plains. It's a popular spot for both low-tier and high-tier Hunters. Is there a reason it's so popular?"
– Oh, is it really the Suwol Plains?
– Yup, yup. That place is a gold mine.
– It's an erosion dungeon, but there are Gridan minerals there. When you kill monsters, they spit it out.
– If you sell it in the market, it goes for a few hundred or thousand won per kilogram, I heard.
– Hunters use it for weapons, and it's also used for other things."
– Yup, I think even power plants use it now to improve safety.
"Gridan minerals…?"
She felt like she'd heard of them before.
In her previous world, the armor Menelapie wore was called "Gridencart Armor."
It was incredibly sturdy and had withstood multiple strikes from the Demon King's greatsword.
"So, is it the minerals that are important? There's no food around here?"
– Noona, when was the Centipede Dragon ever food?
– LOL!
– Gotcha, LOL!
"Uh… I definitely thought it was food?"
– ?"
– What?
– Excuse me?
– This one's finally spouting nonsense, LOL."
– Antics mode activated.
Well, it's true I'm called the Antics Saintess, but… honestly, Teresa used to always nag me to stop my antics, so I can't really deny it.
Yes, the antics are part of me.
Don't deny yourself.
I am the Saintess of the Dead.
The one who speaks no lies.
Even antics are a part of me.
Raaaah!!!
"Hm? What's that sound?"
Suddenly, Shia turned around, hearing a noise echoing through the plains.
She knew this sound.
It was the roar of a dragon.
In her previous world, Shia had encountered many dragons.
Some communicated with humans intellectually, while others were savage and beast-like.
The roar she just heard was exactly what Shia imagined a 'savage and beastly' dragon would sound like.
"Huh?"
– What's that?
– What is it?
– Was there something like that in the Suwol Plains?
– Aren't there usually just wolf mobs here?
Then Shia saw it.
A massive Draconic Soldier, exuding an ominous aura and shaking the earth as it approached.
Ordinary Draconic Soldiers weren't that strong.
Two imperial knights from Menelapie's empire could handle them easily.
In fact, Menelapie had once decapitated ten Draconic Soldiers with a single sword swing.
However, there were rare cases where Draconic Soldiers would evolve and become stronger…
"…Drool…"
– Yo, that's an S-rank Draconic Soldier!
– I checked the association's monster encyclopedia, and that's S-rank.
– Why is an S-rank Draconic Soldier in the Suwol Plains?!
– No clue.
– This is an emergency, right? There are lots of low-level people in the Suwol Plains, and if that thing shows up, it's going to cause chaos.
– But look at the streamer's face.
– That face…
– That expression, LOL.
– Her eyes are glowing red… terrifying.
Ah, this is bad.
It looks delicious.
The dragon's tough-looking scales, bright red like armor, and spikes jutted out like thorns.
Its massive head, where its face should be, was poised to breathe fire at any moment, looking majestic beyond words.
'If I peel off the scales and spikes first, there'll be tender meat inside, right? The hot, resilient flesh of the Draconic Soldier… drool…'
By now, the viewers' chats were completely irrelevant to Shia.
I was hungry…
What rank is that thing again?
No, the rank doesn't matter.
I don't limit myself to eating only S-rank monsters.
Food shouldn't be picky. Even if that appetizingly large Draconic Soldier is D-rank, I won't leave a single bite behind and will eat it all deliciously.
"It looks… so… tasty!!!!"
Whack! Snap, snap, snap!
Without even using her miracles, the tentacles that resonated with her emotions sprouted from her waist, snapping their teeth together.
Thankfully, that delicious-looking Draconic Soldier was charging straight at her.
Ah, just like a child yearning for its mother's embrace.
You, too, were searching for someone to cook you deliciously!
Filled with joy, Shia launched herself at the Draconic Soldier, who was charging directly at her.
With a powerful leap that seemed as though she was about to shatter the earth beneath her, her speed created the illusion that she had broken the sound barrier.
Boom!
"Ahhhhh!?"
I heard a strange scream from somewhere, but I didn't pay attention to it.
Shia, having failed to adjust her direction, brushed past the Draconic Soldier, and the area where she slammed down created a small crater.
– Wow, damn…
– Holy moly.
– Is that really a Draconic Soldier?
– No idea.
– Judging by its looks, it seems like one, right?
– But it's supposed to be an S-rank Draconic Soldier, its behavior seems a bit weird.
– If I saw the streamer making that face, I wouldn't even look back. I'd run for my life.
– I'd totally pee myself right there, no joke.
– Pee yourself? What the heck, LOL.
Panting, panting, panting… Are you not resisting?
Why are you just standing there?
If you don't resist, that's better for me.
Yes, don't resist.
If you don't, I can send you off without pain, cleanly.
Sniff sniff…
Ah, it smells so good…
A monster that smells like a human…?
Ah, it smells like human meat…
There's not much Malevolent Energy in human meat.
There is Malevolent Energy, but to consume enough to control my hunger attacks, I'd need to eat at least ten humans.
The efficiency of consuming Malevolent Energy from humans is terribly low, and even Shia herself finds the idea of eating human flesh absolutely horrifying.
She still had human ethics, after all.
But objectively, human meat had a taste that could send Shia into ecstasy.
Eating it raw was already delicious.
Roasting it with the flames of holy power, wrapping it with her tentacles and biting into it, peeling off the skin and devouring the flesh beneath, slicing it like sashimi and eating it alive — all of it was delicious.
Human meat was as dangerous and addictive to the Saintess of the Dead as a powerful drug.
Of course, Shia had never, and still would never, eat human flesh.
Her ethics, her humanity, her reason — they all still existed, and so Shia would never attack a human.
But… a monster that smells like human meat…?
That, I can't resist.
No, I won't resist… How could I resist…?
It means I don't have to suffer to maintain my reason and ethics.
It means I don't have to look at humans and feel hungry.
'That one' is okay to eat, right?
"Kya-hahahahahahaha!!!!! Come hereeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Before anyone else can eat it, I'll eat it first.
Ah, it's going to taste so good.
So delicious.
Should I fry it? Should I roast it?
Ah, don't run away. Don't run away.
I'll make it painless.
Why are you running?
Aren't you strong? You looked strong, didn't you?
Don't run! It's okay! The pain will only last for a moment, and by being eaten by me, we can be together forever!
Ah, let's eat. Let's eat. Let's eat.
Today is a feast. I'm going to eat this monster that smells like human meat with the viewers!
The viewers will love it too, right?
Ah, a feast! A feast!