33

"…Huh?.."

I blinked absentmindedly.

What just happened?

The shelves had toppled over, and the study was filled with dust.

It was such a mess that the previous neat and tidy appearance was nowhere to be found.

…Did I do this?

I only barely touched it..?

No.

Something is definitely wrong.

There's no way a shelf three times my size could collapse this easily.

"I.. I need to clean up.."

"What's that noise..! Oh my!!"

Hearing the loud crash, several maids rushed into the study.

They were startled by the mess and then quickly turned their gazes toward me.

"…Miss..?"

They stared at me in disbelief, and I quickly waved my hands and spoke in a panic.

"It wasn't me..!! I only touched it lightly, but the shelf just collapsed on its own!"

"…What?"

"I just barely touched it to pull out a book, and the shelf.."

"….."

"I just… barely… nudged it…"

The more I spoke, the more their eyes seemed to dim with pity.

Their sympathetic looks drained the confidence from my voice.

"So… anyway.."

They exchanged silent glances, then approached me with strained smiles.

"It's alright, Miss. We'll clean this up. Are you hurt anywhere?"

"I… I'm telling you, I didn't do it..!"

I pleaded once more, but their expressions didn't change.

I knew it too.

Unless the shelf had somehow collapsed on its own, I was the only one here.

To anyone, it would look like I had caused this mess.

From their perspective, I probably looked like I was making excuses.

I felt tears of frustration welling up, but I couldn't say anything more.

I had no proof that I hadn't done it.

One of the maids, as if to reassure me, gave me a warm look and spoke kindly.

"Really, it's okay, Miss. We're just glad you didn't get hurt."

"..."

"We need to clean up, so could you please step outside for a bit?"

"…..Okay."

In the end, I dejectedly followed her suggestion and trudged out of the study.

I told myself that the voices I heard behind me were just my imagination.

"Miss, I'm sorry… I got caught by the head maid on my way back…"

"...."

Eventually, I crawled back into bed, choosing to escape from it all.

Then Alina came to find me.

She said she had gone to fetch a ladder but got held up by Roselin for quite some time.

I couldn't bring myself to blame her, so I buried my face deep into the pillow, trying to send the message that I didn't want to talk anymore.

"Miss… please cheer up… alright?"

"Just leave me alone… I don't want to do anything else today…"

"But Miss…"

"I said leave!.."

I regretted yelling at her the moment the words left my mouth, but I couldn't take them back.

"…Then please rest well for today. I'll come back tomorrow."

With a sympathetic look, Alina pulled the blanket up higher over me before quietly leaving the room.

"…Pathetic."

I hated how cruelly I treated Alina.

It wasn't her fault.

But in my frustration, I had lashed out at her, and now I was disgusted with myself.

Had I always been this pathetic?

I didn't used to be like this.

At some point, my self-esteem had plummeted.

Back when I was with Lily and Dania, I always lived with a positive mindset and strength.

Now, my head was filled with nothing but thoughts that tormented me.

'I'll apologize to her tomorrow.'

I would tell Alina that I was sorry for being so cold.

And I couldn't leave the mess in the study for the maids to clean up.

I should have taken care of it myself, but in my panic, I had run away.

I decided I'd find them tomorrow and ask for their forgiveness as well.

"…I'm so tired…"

As my eyelids grew heavier, I slowly drifted off to sleep.

Starting tomorrow, I will live with renewed strength.

***

"Hera, she seems to be a bit clumsy."

Thud—

My heart thumped loudly.

"Yeah, last time, she even messed up cleaning the room. It was hard to fix it afterward."

Thud, thud—

My whole body trembled as my heart pounded.

"If she weren't someone the master cared for, I'd have said something to her."

"But she really is pretty, isn't she? Every time I see her, I can't help but feel good."

"If only she'd just stay still, things would be much better."

Giggling—Their laughter seeped through the door.

I covered my trembling breath with both hands, trying to suppress any sound.

I had come to apologize to the maids as soon as I got up, heading toward their break room.

But just as I was about to open the door, I overheard their idle chatter.

What was just light gossip to them pierced me like a knife.

In the end, I could only retreat, stepping backward and fleeing from the spot.

Tap, tap, tap—

I ran frantically.

I thought I heard someone calling my name from behind, but I ignored it and dashed toward my room.

—She seems a bit clumsy…

—She even messed up cleaning the room.…

—It would be better if she just stayed still…

Even as I ran, their words echoed in my mind, sticking like a thorn in my ear.

I didn't want to face anyone.

I wanted to be alone.

"Haa… ha…"

How long had I been running?

By the time I was out of breath, I finally reached my room.

My room.

The only place where I could breathe comfortably.

But when I opened the door with trembling hands, contrary to my hopes, Alina was waiting inside.

"Ah, Miss! You're back! Where have you been?"

She approached me with a bright expression.

"Miss… are you okay? You don't look well. Do you have a fever?"

"D-don't come any closer!"

When she placed her hand on my forehead, I unconsciously pushed her away.

"Ah!"

Crash—Alina fell backward with a short scream.

Her startled gaze sent a chill through my body.

What have I done?

Instead of apologizing, I ended up hurting her.

"…S-sorry!! Are you okay?!"

I hurried over and extended my hand to her.

After staring at me for a moment, Alina sighed and took my hand.

"Sigh… Miss, what's been going on with you lately?"

"I'm really sorry… I didn't mean to…"

She dusted off her backside a few times before smiling again.

"Let's go out and get some fresh air."

Holding her hand, we stepped out into the mansion's garden.

The various colorful flowers adorned the garden, making it beautifully vibrant.

With each step, the refreshing breeze brushed past my face.

"Isn't it pretty? This place is well taken care of."

"…Yeah, it is."

She continued to treat me kindly, as if nothing had happened.

'…She's really like a fool.'

Receiving such kindness from someone younger than me made me feel so small.

You said you'd think positively, Hera.

The things those maids said about me probably weren't meant to be malicious.

I just happened to overhear them at the wrong time, and I forced myself to erase the negative thoughts from my mind.

Considering the mistakes I've made, it's not surprising they said those things.

It's fine.

I'll fix it from now on.

I'll apologize properly and seek their forgiveness.

Thinking positively, the flowers around me looked even more vibrant.

The warm sunlight surrounded me, as if offering me courage.

Clenching my fists, I stopped in my tracks.

"Alina, I'm sorry."

"Pardon?"

She also halted at my words.

"For being cold to you yesterday… and for pushing you today. I acted out of heightened emotions, and I'm truly sorry…"

Alina looked at me with a somewhat dazed expression.

But I didn't stop, continuing to convey my feelings to her.

"Even so, you still came to me with kindness, and I'm really grateful for that. I'll try harder from now on to be of help here."

Was it just my imagination?

For a brief moment, it looked like her expression twisted slightly.

But upon looking again, she was only smiling.

There was a brief moment of silence, and finally, she gave me an answer.

"You're really admirable, young lady."

A positive response.

It felt like a glimmer of hope was beginning to color my weary heart.

As expected, apologizing face-to-face had been the right thing to do.

"But, if possible, it might actually be more helpful if you don't do anything!"

Apologizing face-to-face…

Apologizing…

"…What?"

"Since you're someone the master personally brought in, of course, we should treat you kindly. If that weren't the case, I wouldn't have cared at all."

"Ah… No…"

"We truly appreciate your willingness to help us, but honestly, you're not very good at this kind of work, are you?"

It would actually be more convenient for us if you just stayed still!

Thud—

In an instant, my legs gave out, and I fell to the ground, my knees hitting the floor.

Blood began to trickle from my pale knees, but I didn't notice at all.

"Young lady? Are you okay?"

Alina approached me, concerned.

I felt sick to my stomach.

Her concern for me began to feel like nothing more than cheap pity.

The bright smile she had just shown me now looked like a mocking grin.

Voices from around me started to reach my ears again.

– She seems a bit clumsy…

-She even messed up cleaning the room.…

-It would be better if she just stayed still…

"No… I can… be helpful…"

Really?

Can I really be?

Could someone like me, who causes trouble wherever I go, really be of help to them?

Perhaps, just as Alina said, doing nothing would be better.

My breathing grew rough again, and my body began to tremble.

"I… can be… helpful…"

"Young lady."

She gently took my violently trembling hand.

"Ah… Alina…"

When I looked up at her, she was still wearing the same kind smile.

"Still, it was really good of you to apologize. I was touched."

"....."

"Now that you've made up your mind, why don't we go apologize to the others too? I'm sure they'll accept it."

"Th-the others…?"

"Since we're nearby, we can meet them quickly. Come, follow me!"

Like a puppet with its strings cut, I had no choice but to be dragged along by her.

But maybe it was a cruel joke from the gods.

"I distinctly remember saying I didn't want to see you again."

A man looking down at me.

This man, clad in armor tinged with gold.

I had seen him before.

"You say you've come to apologize… Are you doing this on purpose?"

"Ha… Listen carefully, young lady."

"Dylan, that guy, retired from the knight order due to complications from his injuries. You'll never see him again."

"So, there's no one left to accept your apology. It's best if you just leave now."

And with that.

The last thread keeping my sanity together snapped.