Chapter 115: Donquixote Kakuzu

Senshi: (O_O)???

Caught off guard, Senshi glanced over at Sasori and asked, "Sasori, what's going on here?"

Hearing Senshi's question, Sasori didn't hide anything. He explained the entire situation in detail, step by step.

After listening, Senshi could only pat Hidan on the shoulder. "This wasn't Sasori's fault. Sure, him stealing your mission target was out of line, but it's not as if you taking a mission automatically means nobody else can.

"You'll just have to learn from it. Next time you spot a target, move faster—don't leave any opportunity for others to swoop in."

Once Senshi finished, Karin also leaned over and patted Hidan's shoulder. "Hidan, no more tears, all right? I'll fix you something really tasty soon!"

Hearing that, Hidan started crying even louder!

Meanwhile, Deidara's eyes had been locked on Senshi the entire time.

Sasori's display moments ago had astonished Deidara. He'd had brief contact with Sasori before. After joining Akatsuki to partner with Kakuzu, he'd heard a bit about Sasori from Kakuzu. Now, though, Sasori was completely different from how Deidara had pictured him based on that intel.

Deidara realized then why Sasori used to insist so strongly on finding Senshi. Judging by Sasori's performance, he hadn't been exaggerating: his "art" really had become more perfected. But Sasori's wording glossed over one key detail:

—namely, that with Senshi's help, his art had become more perfected!

Remembering Sasori's spectacular moves from just now, Deidara began thinking: Maybe I should find Senshi to upgrade my art, too? If Senshi could make Sasori's art more perfect, presumably he could do the same for me!

But before Deidara could approach him, Senshi was already striding over to Kakuzu.

Kakuzu was one of Senshi's most trusted fighters, a cornerstone member of the mercenary squad. Lately, "Kakuzu the Moneybags" had earned Senshi a massive haul of commission points. And Senshi happened to have just the thing to boost Kakuzu's strength. So he didn't delay, but headed straight over.

Seeing Senshi come toward him, Kakuzu kept up his usual impassive front, but deep inside he was beside himself with excitement. Finally, he was getting acknowledgement for all his mission work! Otherwise, Senshi wouldn't have walked straight up to him without speaking to anyone else first.

And it turned out just as he'd hoped. Senshi came to Kakuzu's side, patted his shoulder, and said: "Kakuzu, you've done a fantastic job lately."

Hearing that, Kakuzu was elated—though he managed to keep from bursting into tears. Steadying his excitement, he spoke as calmly as he could:

"I've been saying all along, in the ninja world's black market, my mission ability is second only to yours. Together, we're the perfect team!"

No sooner had Kakuzu said this than his new assistant, Fū, chimed in from the side:

"Though Lord Senshi is indeed the black market's new legend, Lord Kakuzu was a legendary figure in the black market even before he appeared. In my mind, no matter the time or place, Lord Kakuzu is superb and flawless! I'm certain he'll be the one most likely to challenge Lord Senshi's hold on first place in the black market!"

Kakuzu: (O_O)???

That made Kakuzu start. He quickly understood, though, that Senshi had a personal assistant precisely because an aide always unfailingly cheers for you, no matter what.

Senshi: (O_O)???

Senshi, for his part, was a bit taken aback by Fū's words—but she wasn't really wrong. Kakuzu had seventy-plus years of experience, after all, and extremely refined mission skills. Plus, he could rotate hearts to stay perpetually at peak strength, which even Hidan couldn't match. Only Sasori, having fully mechanized himself, had slightly better endurance. But in terms of pure job experience, Kakuzu had him beat as well. Meaning Kakuzu really was the black market's second-strongest—though number one wasn't going to happen.

Seeing Fū step up as Kakuzu's hype squad, Karin likewise piped up to defend Senshi:

"Nonono! Senshi is the best! No one can shake his position in the black market!"

Fū shook her head, eyes resolute:

"I believe Lord Kakuzu is one of the black market's finest, and definitely the biggest threat to Lord Senshi's top spot!"

Karin adamantly disagreed: "Senshi will always be the strongest! That's final!"

Fū: "I see Lord Kakuzu having every opportunity to challenge him!"

Karin: "That's impossible! Senshi's status is unassailable!"

Fū: "I trust Lord Kakuzu can make it happen!"

Karin: "Senshi's never coming down from his throne!"

Fū: "Kakuzu!"

Karin: "Senshi!"

As their two aides bickered, Senshi separated them. "You're all in one mercenary corps. Don't fight among yourselves. Also, I hope Kakuzu can keep improving so he can compete for my black-market top spot."

He certainly wished Kakuzu would step up. In mission ranking, Senshi was miles ahead of everybody else, out of sight. But if Kakuzu managed to catch up even a little, it could yield an ocean of commission points for Senshi while letting him take it easy. He had no interest in stifling black-market ninjas from challenging him. In fact, now that they were all in his mercenary group, he was happy to provide them any support or resources to help them do missions and bring him more profit.

Having broken up the two aides, Fū returned to Kakuzu and muttered softly, "Lord Kakuzu, you're the greatest. One day, I'm sure you can mount the strongest challenge to Lord Senshi!"

Karin, likewise refusing to yield, clung to Senshi's leg: "Senshi is always the greatest, and not a single black-market ninja can surpass him!"

Though Senshi found their quarrel amusing, he had more pressing matters to handle. He turned to Kakuzu seriously:

"Kakuzu, I've come by a treasure that's perfect for you—something that'll drastically enhance your mission effectiveness."

As he spoke, he took out the String-String Fruit he'd acquired previously. This fruit went hand-in-glove with Kakuzu's Earth Grudge Fear secret art. Once Kakuzu ate it and developed its powers, it would be like giving Orochimaru the Yamata no Orochi fruit or upgrading Sasori's Hex Core—a huge power boost.

When Senshi produced the fruit, Kakuzu felt another deep jolt of excitement. Indeed, he held an irreplaceable place in Senshi's heart. Even though they hadn't formed a mission team recently, Senshi still had him in mind—hahaha!

Moreover, anything Senshi gave people was useful. Last time, Senshi had given Kakuzu a treasure that fixed his main weaknesses. So Kakuzu had high hopes for this new fruit Senshi was handing him now. Accepting the String-String Fruit, he smirked at Sasori:

"You only got stronger thanks to Senshi's help. Meanwhile, my power and mission ability are also about to rise again with Senshi's gift. And since Senshi chose to reward me personally, it shows how much he appreciates my skill, whereas you had to chase him down, begging for an upgrade from miles away!"

"Compare the two—clearly I come out on top!"

Kakuzu felt a wave of satisfaction surge through him. Earlier, Sasori's new abilities—gained from Senshi—had overshadowed him and Hidan. Now, though, he'd regained the upper hand. He had to brag a bit. Hearing all that, Sasori felt tempted to tell him that his Hextech Rejuvenation Core had been free as well—he only had to pay for upgrades—and that it could still be upgraded four times, whereas the fruit presumably couldn't.

Meanwhile, Senshi was somewhat exasperated that Kakuzu was making such a show of it. Once he'd handed Kakuzu the String-String Fruit, the best next step was simply for Kakuzu to eat it. Otherwise if Sasori revealed that his "art" core was still upgradeable, Kakuzu would get all riled up again.

Yet from Karin's perspective, this was a golden chance. She peeked out from behind Senshi and said with a grin, "See? Senshi can help Kakuzu grow stronger, so clearly Senshi's number one!"

Fū gave her a serious look: "Lord Senshi must see amazing potential in Lord Kakuzu; bestowing this treasure upon him is an act of a real one acknowledging another real one. Otherwise, how come he didn't hand it to anyone else?"

Fū's final remark didn't matter much to everyone else, but for Hidan it was devastating! He was supposed to be Lord Jashin's most recognized follower! Why did Kakuzu get the prize? Immediately Hidan rushed Senshi in tears:

"Lord Jashin, I'm definitely more suited than Kakuzu to be your true follower! I haven't slacked off on the tasks you gave me for even a moment! Please, Lord Jashin, grant me new powers too, so I can follow you more faithfully!"

In Hidan's mind, new powers were nice, but the truly important thing was preserving his spot as Lord Jashin's number-one follower, not letting Kakuzu surpass him in Senshi's eyes!

Senshi: (O_O)???

He froze—did Hidan also want a reward?

Granted, Hidan had been doing well. Giving him something wouldn't be totally amiss. But the String-String Fruit had long been earmarked for Kakuzu. It was perfect for him, just like the Hex Core for Sasori or the Yamata fruit for Orochimaru. Senshi searched his System Space in case there was an item fit for Hidan but came up empty-handed. There was no "mosquito summoning," for example, that might suit him.

So Senshi considered another approach. Patting Hidan's shoulder, he earnestly reassured him:

"Hidan, you'll get your reward soon, too—bread will come in time. If you can complete an even harder mission, I'll give you a super unbelievably awesome reward!"

Just then, a sinister whisper from the "Lord Jashin" echoed near Hidan's ear:

"Hidan, my most devout and strong believer, I present you with a mission you must fulfill. Complete this mission, and I shall grant you supreme power!"

Hearing that, Hidan perked up, tears vanishing. Excited beyond measure, he dropped to one knee in reverence: "Lord Jashin, please give me my mission!"

Senshi lost no time, saying, "Hidan, I want you to head to Kumogakure. Carry on doing missions, and simultaneously keep an eye on the Eight-Tails. Can you handle that?"

Sending Hidan to Kumogakure served multiple goals:

He could do missions over there, so the "spoils" wouldn't all go to Kumogakure's ninja.

Hidan could keep tabs on Killer Bee, so if Senshi needed to capture Eight-Tails later, he'd know Bee's whereabouts.

Hidan being posted to Kumo also freed up the Amegakure black market, avoiding another fiasco where Sasori, Kakuzu, and Hidan all wrestle for the same assignment and end up fighting among themselves. A triple-win scenario!

As soon as Senshi finished, Hidan again heard the divine voice:

"Hidan, my devoted follower, your mission is to go to Kumogakure, watch the Eight-Tails, and continue spreading the Lord Jashin teachings in your assignments. Can you do that?"

Hidan nodded vigorously. Full of pious fervor, he declared: "Lord Jashin, I'll never disappoint you!"

At that, Kakuzu scoffed, shaking his head:

"See, Hidan? You're obviously less important to Senshi, because you've got to do another assignment first just to earn a reward, whereas I got one straight off. It's obvious who's higher up."

But Hidan wasn't fazed. He shouted, "It's you who's too weak, so Lord Jashin didn't bother to give you a mission—he just threw you a bone on the spot. You don't get it, do you?"

In Kakuzu's view, that was just denial. After all, he considered himself extremely capable in both combat and mission prowess, so he scoffed. But seeing as he already had his fruit, there was no point fighting. Holding up the String-String Fruit, he asked Senshi, "So how do I use it—just eat it?"

Senshi gave a slight nod: "Yeah, just eat it."

Without hesitation, Kakuzu popped the fruit into his mouth. Instantly, a mysterious power awakened inside. At first he wondered about its value. Gradually, though, knowledge about the fruit's abilities surfaced in his mind, turning his initial confusion to solemn awe, then astonishment—until he ended up gaping!

What Senshi had given him was beyond extraordinary—and perfectly matched his Earth Grudge Fear. That secret art let him manipulate black "threads" to steal hearts or do various other tasks. Now, with the String-String Fruit, those black threads were enhanced further. Immediately, they became more diverse in usage and more lethal offensively.

"Ah!"

Thanks to the fruit, threads shot from Kakuzu's wrists, extending into a whip-like form. One swing across the ground carved a deep trench. And with a swift "whoosh," the five Earth Grudge Fear puppet-masks behind him were flung much farther than normal. The fruit's power had multiplied his fighting range and control. The masks could now use not only ninjutsu but also the black threads themselves as additional weapons.

Though he'd just obtained it and still lacked a full handle on its abilities, Kakuzu could already see how much stronger he'd become. His range was broader, his tactics more varied, and he sensed even more secrets lay dormant. Realizing all this, Kakuzu got fired up!

Everything he'd done had been worthwhile—countless sleepless nights of missions, assisting Senshi's clansmen at the Uzumaki settlement, hiring his own aide in imitation of Senshi, raising productivity. Now it paid off: Senshi had given him something so overpowering, surely a sign that Senshi wanted him back as a partner!

Kakuzu turned to Senshi, heart thumping. "Yes, Senshi—invite me now. I'm all set. I'll prove to you that across the ninja world, I am your best partner!"

But Senshi had no idea what Kakuzu was thinking. Satisfied the fruit suited him perfectly, Senshi simply nodded, then said:

"You did well today, so keep up the good work. I've got other business to handle."

With that, he took Karin by the hand and left, not looking back. Karin stuck her tongue out at Fū, making a cheeky face, then proclaimed: "Senshi is number one, the mightiest in the whole ninja world, no arguments!" Fū refused to yield—she nearly sprouted wings on the spot:

"Lord Kakuzu will work even harder and challenge Lord Senshi! Regardless of what happens, he's still the greatest—no arguments!" Karin started to retort, but Senshi didn't let them continue. He just dragged her off.

He planned to visit the Uzumaki clan's settlement, see if there were any promising clan members or youngsters he could recruit to the mercenary corps.

Watching Senshi walk off without a second glance, Kakuzu was utterly floored.

Kakuzu: (O_O)???

Something felt off—this wasn't how he imagined it at all! Senshi had given him a fruit so unbelievably powerful, presumably with the intent to re-invite him as a partner? Yet not a single word about being teammates again? That made no sense.

As Senshi's figure got smaller and smaller in the distance, Kakuzu heaved a long sigh, then turned to speak to Fū:

"Fū, it looks like all these missions we've done so far still aren't enough—not even close! True, I earned Senshi's approval and received this fruit, but evidently he still doesn't think I'm qualified to be his partner. We have to push ourselves harder—complete more missions!"

Fū's face also grew solemn as she nodded resolutely. "Yes, Lord Kakuzu. As your finest aide, I'll assist you so we can rack up even more missions!"

Deidara: (O_O)???

Seeing the enthusiasm of Kakuzu and Fū, Deidara couldn't help staring. He thought wryly, Give it a rest, you two! You've already hogged so many assignments—and now you want to take even more? Trying to monopolize Amegakure's entire black market?

Of course, Deidara knew refining his artistry through assignments was necessary. But obtaining an immediate upgrade from Senshi was far more crucial—especially after seeing how any random item Senshi handed out could drastically strengthen someone. If Deidara's art could also be improved under Senshi's tutelage, wouldn't it become perfect?

Hence he resolved to investigate how Senshi might boost his art. Possibly by asking Kakuzu, who once partnered with Senshi and knew him best.

As for Senshi, oblivious to Kakuzu's or Deidara's thoughts, he had already left with Sasori and Karin in tow. After they'd gone a little way, he put Karin down—he'd been half-lifting her—and she glanced around, uncertain:

"Huh? Are we going to the Uzumaki settlement to see Haruko and the others? Great!"

Karin was quite fond of the Uzumaki clanspeople, many of them adorable kids, plus the very helpful Uncle Takusen, the bizarrely-minded Mokusen, and so forth. At her remark, Senshi casually replied, "Right, we'll check the Uzumaki settlement, see if they need anything."

But then he quickly cautioned, "We've got a lot to handle there, so you won't be able to make any of your cooking for Haruko and them this time. We've got to focus on other stuff."

Karin: (⊙_⊙)

Her face immediately fell. She'd learned so many new dishes recently, but now she couldn't share them with Haruko and her friends—so disappointing!

Seeing her crestfallen look, Senshi patted her on the head and said, "Karin, you can keep practicing and refining your skills. In the meantime, Matatabi and Saiken can help taste your dishes. Then, when your cooking is even better, you can whip something up for everyone and blow their minds!"

Karin: (〃▽〃)

That brightened her mood at once—true, Senshi was right! Even though her cooking was already good, there was always room to improve. One of her dreams was to become the best chef in the ninja world.

Meanwhile, inside the Kamui dimension, Matatabi had been napping but jolted awake from a nightmare. Hastily, she turned to Saiken not far away:

"Hey, Sai, Sai—this is bad, I've got a bad feeling that this time we're really in for it!"

Saiken just grunted dismissively, "You're in for it. Me? I've already been poisoned. I'm dead, got it?"

Matatabi nodded. She understood—Karin's cooking had psychologically scarred Saiken so badly that he still hadn't recovered. Matatabi had warned him, but he wouldn't listen.

Outside in the real world, Senshi and Karin hadn't even reached the Uzumaki settlement before someone blocked their path—someone who surprised Senshi greatly: Hoshigaki Kisame, famously the "most honest ninja," who dreamed of making everyone do the full forty-four hand signs for Water Dragon Bullet. Seeing Kisame, Senshi looked stunned.

Karin cocked her head, furrowing her brow. "And who are you?"

Senshi jumped, thinking, What's this about? He flicked Karin's forehead gently. "Watch how you phrase that!"

Karin thought for a second, eyes lighting up. "Only one truth is possible—this must be Hoshigaki Kisame!"

Indeed, Kisame had been hiding from Senshi for a long time, so Karin basically forgot his name momentarily. Senshi himself had worried Karin might have come down with "Senshi Syndrome." But then Kisame's words stunned him anew:

Voice trembling slightly, Kisame said, "Senshi... I've... captured that deserter, Uchiha Itachi, for you!"

Kisame had always feared Senshi, and now it was worse. Before, while Hidan had been tormented by Senshi, at least Hidan was somewhat stable. But after returning, Hidan seemed outright insane, babbling about Lord Jashin missions. Meanwhile, Itachi had once slipped away mid-mission with Senshi—who knew what horror awaited him now?

Kisame hoped Senshi would punish only Itachi and not blame him. After all, Itachi running off was none of Kisame's doing.

Senshi: (O_O)???

Kisame's statement left Senshi baffled. When did I ask anyone to catch Itachi? There was no such request. Senshi's quizzical silence seemed in Kisame's eyes like a terrifying hush. To Kisame, it signaled that Senshi, who was always so vengeful, was about to do something drastic. Because of something so trivial, Kakuzu and Hidan had been abused. Now that "Ichi-ni-san" (Itachi) had messed up, how could Senshi let that slide?

Kisame quickly tried to explain, "That Ichi-ni-san guy—who knows what he was thinking—he ran off alone in the middle of your joint mission! The whole plan was his, and I had nothing to do with it. I locked him up at once, so at any moment I can bring him to you!"

At that, Senshi waved his hand, glancing at Sasori. "Kisame, just let him go. A stamina-weak 'physically inept' type like him isn't worth teaming with. I've already got a new partner, Sasori—he works 24/7 all year round. That's a real teammate, understand?"

Hearing this, Kisame's heart sank. He trembled to the core. Glancing at Sasori, Kisame could only feel sorry for him—someone forced to labor 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, until death?! That's terrible. But actually, he realized Sasori wasn't even the worst off. The worst was that "Ichi-ni-san," who had deserted. People like Kakuzu and Hidan had only gotten a beating, while apparently Senshi didn't even see Itachi as a person. So Senshi never asked him to deliver Itachi to receive punishment. In Senshi's mind, Itachi must already be as good as dead.

Yes, standing close by, Sasori could see how frightened Kisame was, but Sasori couldn't fathom why. As Sasori saw it, Senshi was obviously a good person—he'd given Sasori the Hextech Core for free, minus upgrade fees; Kakuzu got a fruit for free. Who else in the ninja world was so generous? Senshi was basically the philanthropic "Umbrella" of Amegakure.

So Sasori couldn't help asking, "Senshi, what did you do to him? He seems terrified of you."

Senshi, displeased, replied, "Ridiculous! I'm super nice to old Sharky. I even gave up two massive bounty missions in Kirigakure for him!"

"Who in the ninja world does that for a buddy?!"

Sasori: (ΩДΩ)!!!

Sasori was staggered. Could Kisame be so important that Senshi was willing to give up two big commissions for him? Even if it was Senshi himself who said it, it sounded like tall tales.

Karin pursed her lips. "But wasn't that because you couldn't attack a fellow Akatsuki member, so you had to let that mission go?"

Senshi scoffed, "Nonsense! You really think I'd go after my own brothers-in-arms for a mere bounty?"

Karin nodded vigorously. "You would. You are that sort of person. Look at what you do to Orochimaru—he's basically your oldest friend, and you keep stabbing him!"

Annoyed, Senshi reached over and tousled Karin's neat red hair into a messy nest. His "assistant" was spouting nonsense, siding against him now?

Karin: "Hmph!!" She sulked, arms crossed. I was only telling the truth!

Having messed up Karin's hair, Senshi gave her a quick head pat so she wouldn't start flailing at him. Then he continued, "Anyway, wasn't I the one who gave up those two bounty missions, yes or no?"

Karin pouted. "Yes, but you had other reasons."

Senshi grinned. "Even if there were other reasons, I did let two commissions on Kisame go, right?"

With that, Karin was left speechless. Senshi really was just twisting logic. Sasori only felt more startled. No matter the cause, apparently Senshi had twice turned down missions targeting Kisame—fairly mind-blowing. Among Senshi's tasks, you either took them or you didn't. If you could do them but then voluntarily backed out, that was rare indeed. Likely it was only these two. Kisame could brag about that forever—he wasn't killed by Senshi on a mission, but Senshi had actively let it go!

In Senshi's eyes, beyond turning down those jobs, he'd done a lot for Kisame. He genuinely liked an "honest" ninja like him—who else but Kisame would meticulously form all forty-four hand seals for Water Dragon Bullet? Senshi even let him remain idle if he refused to do missions with him, unlike poor Kakuzu who got dragged off forcibly.

Yes, that incident where Senshi nearly beat Kisame to death didn't count. After all, Senshi didn't beat him to death in the end, so that was all good, right?

Finally, Senshi said, "Kisame, just go back and release 'Ichi-ni-san.' He's worthless with such lousy stamina."

At this point, Kisame almost cried. He understood Senshi's meaning: too late—just let him die. No matter how quickly Kisame had apprehended Itachi, as soon as Senshi came back and gave instructions, it changed nothing; "Ichi-ni-san" was doomed.

If it had been someone else, maybe Senshi would do a quick kill, but we're talking about the ruthless Senshi who'd tortured Hidan and overshadowed Kakuzu! Who knew how awfully Itachi would suffer, or how hopeless his end would be? Not to mention how Kisame was the one who'd seized Itachi immediately, even though it was all Itachi's own plan. If Senshi turned that anger on him, he'd be helpless. He still remembered how, back in Kirigakure, simply wanting to kill a few small fry had nearly gotten him beaten to death.

Feeling more and more hopeless, Kisame left disheartened to free Itachi at their base—unsure of what else to do. Maybe the only outcome was the two of them awaiting final judgment.

But upon arriving at the cell he used, Kisame found Itachi gone!

He'd been despairing before, but now he was truly panicked. "It's over! Over!"

In Kisame's mind, since Senshi wanted Itachi "left there for death," maybe Senshi would let him off with a quick kill. But Itachi apparently hadn't stayed put as told. Senshi discovering that could mean all-out wrath upon both him and Itachi?

Just then, a familiar voice sounded behind him—Uchiha Itachi, speaking casually: "What's over?"

Kisame: (O_O)???

He froze, realizing a moment later that Itachi must have used genjutsu to trick him and escape. On the spot, he demanded: "You cast a genjutsu? When did you slip out?"

~~~

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