Chapter 88

River pushed open the door to his dorm, fully expecting for Sage to be sedated like other students. 

However, he froze in his tracks when he saw Sage sitting on the edge of his bed and staring blankly at the floor. 

"Ziggy?" he called out cautiously but nervously. 

But Sage didn't respond. Moving further River noticed that his shoulders were stiff and his eyes unfocused too while he was trembling slightly. River stopped beside him and with slow movements he raised his hand as if he was approaching a frightened animal. 

"Hey," he tried again, keeping his tone light, "you're awake. That's...unexpected."

Still no response from Sage.

Sage was awake because the drug River had administered to him had worn off prematurely. It wasn't uncommon for the effects to dissipate unexpectedly, especially with the volatile nature of the compounds used. While most students remained sedated, Sage's body had rejected the drug at a critical moment, leaving him alert and aware when River expected him to be unconscious like the others. 

However, this unexpected rejection from his body made everything far more dangerous as it somehow messed up with his brain and triggered some memories he got back that he was forced to forget a few days back. 

River, who was unaware of all this frowned while an uneasy feeling settled in his chest. Though it didn't take much time for him to realise that something was wrong. He crouched in front of Sage and shook him gently by the shoulders. 

"Ziggy…are you alright, baby?" 

"Huh!" Sage jolted as though he was struck by lightning and let out a scream that pulled him back violently to his senses. 

River was shocked to see that reaction and got even more surprised when Sage's eyes teared up looking at him. Sage looked absolutely terrified of him. And before River could even react, Sage shoved him away with all his strength and scrambled back against the wall, nearly falling off the bed in his haste to create distance between them. 

"Don't touch me! D-Dont come close to me! I…I know who you are! You—-you are not River! You…you—" 

River's stomach twisted in fear. Fuck. Did he find out?

"Sage?" he asked softly to calm Sage down while trying to step closer to him. "What's going on, love? Did something happen?" 

Sage shook his head violently, his lips quivering as he struggled to even speak. His head and heart were on fire and it was getting harder for him to breathe. 

River's pulse quickened and he could see that Sage must have seen what happened today. His eyes darkened looking directly in Sage's teary and fearful eyes. 

"Did you leave the dorm?" 

At the question, Sage froze. He has heard that same question before. His tear-filled eyes widened even further, and his trembling worsened. 

River's blood ran cold. Shit. He knows. 

"How much do you remember?" River asked directly, not beating around the bush. 

Sage stared at him like he was a monster, his breath coming in sharp, panicked gasps. Finally, he stuttered out, "E-everything. I remember everything." 

River's eyes widened. Everything? That's not possible. The drug—wasn't he drugged as well? 

Sage's words spilled out in a frantic rush. "That day…you gave me a shock to erase my memory. I remember it now. And t-tonight, I went outside to find you. I saw—" 

"Saw what?" River demanded in a rough voice, hands going in his pocket to search for something. 

"I..I saw the…bodies," Sage choked out. "The blood. The police. All of it. And you—you were talking to them, like you've known them forever!" 

River's chest tightened. Oh shit! Just how much did he see? 

River is an expert scientist who had worked on these drugs for a long time so it didn't take much for him to realise what had happened to Sage. 

The neural suppression therapy that was meant to erase the traumatic memories, sealing them away in a permanent mental lockdown. Which was performed on Sage that night by River. It went catastrophically wrong today when a different drug was given to him. 

The procedure malfunctioned, causing a catastrophic feedback loop that shattered the mental barriers Sage had erected. Memories that were removed came flooding back, resurrecting the very night he found who exactly River actually is. 

River tried to play fool once again and forced a laugh. "Ziggy, listen to yourself. You sound like a lunatic. You probably had a nightmare—" 

"No!" But Sage won't be fooled again. "Don't lie to me! I know what I saw! God, River I beg you don't make me sound like I'm crazy. I'm not! Please, don't play your games anymore!!!! I'm not a lunatic–!" 

"Sage?! Fucking listen to me!" River took a cautious step forward angrily. "You're not thinking clearly. You're just confused and don't know what you are talking about." He pulled Sage into a hug. "It's okay. Everything's fine. Don't think too much. I think you just had a funny dream and got scared. How many times have I warned you to stop reading those stupid books…." 

For a moment, Sage seemed to waver. His breathing slowed and his trembling lessened. He was no longer listening to River and wondered if what River was telling him was actually true.

River thought he had him, thought he'd managed to calm him down. But then a faint rustling sound came from River's pocket and Sage stiffened. His eyes darted to the source of the noise, and his heart seemed to stop as he watched River pull out a small pill. 

"River…?" Sage whispered, his voice was barely audible but he could still hear his own thundering heartbeats in his ears. 

River stared deep into his eyes and held the pill between his teeth with an emotionless expression. Sage shook his head telling him not to do that again. 

"You'll thank me later," River whispered back, grabbing Sage by the shoulders and tilting his face up.

"No!" But Sage pushed him away aggressively. "No…No! You're not doing this to me again!"

River steadied himself, his face darkening as he realized he could no longer use this trick. He spit the pill on the floor and looked back at Sage. 

Sage stared at River with a hateful gaze which pained River more than he thought. Sage pointed a finger at him. 

"I'm going to ask you about what the hell is happening and you'll only answer me the truth this time. The real fucking truth! And if you try play any trick or earse my memories I swear I'll fucking kill you, River?" 

This time, River decided to come clean. He doesn't want to hide anything from his Sage. He doesn't want to hurt Sage further but was also aware that the truth would only break Sage. And so he told Sage everything. The truth. Without any lies this time. The whole truth about him, the Sunford, the labs, Alpha and everything else. 

However, the question most hurt Sage was. 

"So everything...everything about me is fake?"

"Yes," River confirmed emotionlessly. He kept on staring at Sage who was having a mental breakdown with a heartless face. 

Sage was about to pass out from the shock. "You...you mean to tell me that I'm just some...experiment?"

"Hmm," River didn't flinch, his expression hardening as he continued. "You legally don't exist in the outside world. You were created in a lab, to fit into a life that's not yours. We met there and not in this school. All of your memories, your family, everything about you—it's a construct. It's all been planted inside your head to make you feel real. But none of it is."

Sage collapsed onto the bed, his chest heaving crazily, his hot tears falling from his chin. "But my memories...my siblings...they can't be fake! How can they be fake?! Tell me how they can be?! You're lying! I know my little siblings are waiting for me to go back to them. I have to fulfil my responsibilities as a big brother. They…they must be w-waiting for me. Of course–hic–of course I'm not a lab rat. Those memories are real...they have to be. You can't just tell me they're fake." 

His heart ached for a life that wasn't his own. A life that had never been his.

River closed his eyes briefly before responding, though his voice was quieter now. "Those memories belong to the real Sage, the one who died years ago. I don't know where the children are now...they might still be out there, but I don't have the answers." 

He paused, biting his lip before adding, "But I'm telling the truth. The real truth as you asked. Everything you thought you knew, everything about your past, it's all just data we've implanted in you. And it's not just you—there are different types of experiments going on here. Some of them turn people into weapons, others try to mold human subjects to replicate the memories of dead people." 

Sage's face suddenly went blank, the pain barely contained behind his expression. The realization of what River was saying was too much, and yet it was all starting to make sense. Nothing about Sunford had ever felt right, and now he knew why. His whole life had been a lie—a fabricated existence.

River took a deep breath before continuing, his words cutting through the silence. "I call you Ziggy because I couldn't bring myself to call you by a dead person's name. I didn't even know your real name at first, so I gave you one of my own. Later, you got the name Sage with his memories. But in truth, you're just an orphan, adopted at a young age, like all the students here."

The pieces of Sage's life were falling apart in real-time. His memories, his family—nothing was real. It felt like the floor had been ripped out from under him. He was nothing but a subject, a puppet, and the truth was a bitter pill to swallow.

"Why…m-me? Why did you choose me out of all the subjects?"

River's finally softened. The facade of being strong slipping away at Sage's this question. He had also asked this question to himself so many times. Why Sage among other subjects? But he never had an answer. 

And then one day Sage was sent to Sunford with other subjects. River did everything in his reach to convince the higher-ups to send him too with an excuse that he would personally look over Alpha. 

But his actual purpose was to be with Sage. 

In the suffocating walls of Sunford, where subjects were nothing more than experiments and freedom was a distant dream, River hadn't expected to find a reason to feel anything. But Sage changed that. 

It started subtly—-moments so small that River didn't realize he was holding his breath whenever Sage would laugh just to hear him better. 

Sunford had its own horrors which haunted River through his given tasks. But among it all, he saw how Sunford also allowed Sage to be more like a human than a subject. And in those moments, River began to get his answer. 

He saw Sage chasing the wind in the playgrounds, and a faint smile would tug at his lips every time. River would froze at the window, mesmerized by the way Sage's eyes lit up as if he could taste a world beyond the gates. His bare feet danced over the grass, and his quiet hum carried a melody that River couldn't stop hearing even hours later. 

It was then River got his answer to the question that had haunted him for so long—why Sage? Why not any other subject? 

It wasn't because Sage was different—though he was. It wasn't his strength, his resilience, or the scars that told stories of survival. It was the quiet moments when Sage's humanity bled through the cracks of Sunford's chains. River fell deeper each time he saw Sage savor freedom in the smallest of ways—licking honey off his fingertips with a cheeky grin, sketching crude doodles on the walls, or throwing rocks at the sky in frustration only to laugh when they fell back. 

Sage was living proof that life, even in its most dangerous or vulnerable state, could be beautiful. 

And River couldn't stop falling. It wasn't like the romantic tales he'd read as a teenager from his sister's book. It was quieter, deeper, like water filling every empty corner of his heart. He fell in love with Sage's imperfections…the way he mumbled when he was nervous, the way he asked questions like he was tasting words for the first time, the way his eyes would grow soft when River would scold him. 

River realized he didn't just love Sage; he chose him. Every day, he chose Sage's crooked smiles and his stubborn will. And with every stolen moment they had, every glimpse of the man Sage could be outside of Sunford's walls, River's love grew until it consumed him entirely. 

River stepped closer to Sage and cupped his face gently. "Because when I first met you...I felt something. A connection. Something I couldn't explain right now. I didn't know what it was then, but I couldn't stay away from you. And as I watched you, I realized how much I cared. You weren't just another experiment to me but much more than that."

He remembered the first time they met, how Sage had been nothing like the others. He was a wild, untamed subject—aggressive, rebellious, and full of anger. No one had been able to handle him, not the other doctors, not the researchers. They had tried everything….beating him, isolating him, trying to break him down. But Sage never gave in. He fought back and River had seen something in him. Something that made River want to protect him and to keep him safe.

One day, after another failed attempt to subdue Sage, River decided to approach him differently. While the other doctors looked at Sage with contempt, River saw something weak in his eyes, a glimpse of the scared, broken child beneath the aggression. 

Instead of force, River started offering his kindness. He didn't expect Sage to respond but to his surprise, Sage slowly started to trust him. It was a long process but in the end, River became Sage's protector.

River's protective instincts grew stronger over time, especially when Nick became involved. Nick was another person who became obsessed with Sage, a neglected child seeking approval from his father, Wagnar. River had never trusted Nick's intentions, but he couldn't do anything about it. Though just a child, Nick had more power than River. The jealousy had eaten at River everytime Nick would visit Sage, but he never let it show. All he could do was watch, waiting for the right moment to intervene. 

However, when Sage was given real Sage's memories, everything changed. Sage forgot about Nick and River. 

"I'm sorry, Ziggy." River hugged him tightly. "I never meant for you to find the truth in this way. Because being close to you, keeping you safe...that was more important than anything else. And now, I don't know what will happen to us. I'm just...I'm sorry, baby. I never wanted to hurt you."

Sage closed his eyes, trying to block out the pain but it was impossible. His life had been a lie and the man holding him, the one who had been his protector and his tormentor was the one who had built the prison he was now trapped in.