1 - Chapter. The Road to Hope

I sit here, reading the ancient legends and thinking: why wasn't I reborn as an elf, a siren, a beastman, or at least a citizen of sunny Solis? Why was I born in Siletium, the land of eternal winter, and even as a descendant of the Noctons?

My name is Emilia Nocton, the youngest princess of the royal dynasty, and my life is far from a fairy tale. My existence is not a life of luxury, as one might think of the emperor's daughter, but an endless struggle for survival. My mother is an evil and greedy woman who has hated me since I was born, taking all of my modest budget and literally leaving me with crumbs.

And what about my father? The emperor whose attention could change everything? He couldn't care less about me. I haven't seen him in eight long years. He's like a ghost, an unreachable figure who exists somewhere far away, but never in my life.

And here I am, sitting in cold, miserable conditions, wondering: Why me? Why did Harmony allow me to be born in this place and into this family? Could it be so that I could prove that light can be found even in the harshest of conditions? Or is this just another cruel experiment?

And anyway, does this harmony really exist? After all, I am reading a book about myths, and myths are fairy tales invented to explain what no one can understand.

Maybe Harmony is just a beautiful legend created by people to justify their mistakes. They invented it to blame everything bad on the curses and wrath of the goddess, not on themselves. It's so much more convenient to blame something unreachable and distant than to admit their weaknesses.

But if she exists, why has she allowed me, a descendant of the "great" Nocton family, to live in poverty, in the midst of cold and hunger? Where is her harmony and balance when the world she created is so cruel?

It's hard to believe in harmony when all I see around me is chaos.

Though, come to think of it, I was lucky that Harmonia only made part of the Nocton lands eternally winter. And as I know, those lands now belong to the Archduke of Nocton, not the entire dynasty.

I, on the other hand, live in the Emperor's territory. Here, winter turns to spring, and though life is far from ideal, I don't freeze to death every day. I guess even the Curse of Harmony has its limits.

But why was I born as the one who doesn't even have a right to the throne? Why do I say that? Because my dear daddy, the great emperor, has four concubines (one of whom is my mother) and one legitimate wife, Empress Aurora. And each of them has children, of course.

I'm the youngest, by the way - the sixth child. Well, this is our "beautiful" family. Each of the older siblings has his own place, influence and rights. And me? I'm just the youngest daughter who seems to have been forgotten as soon as she was born.

If I ever see my favorite daddy - for the first time in eight years - I'll probably say to him, "Thank you for such a wonderful childhood and for the wonderful siblings who made my life so...full." Although he probably won't even know who I am.

Oh, I have to go back to my room or I'll get another beating from my mother. She'll always find some reason to punish me. Even if I just look the wrong way or say the wrong thing.

No matter how much I try to avoid her, she's always there to remind me who's in charge. That's how I live my life: avoiding her gaze, trying not to catch her eye, not to get another dose of humiliation.

Ah, goodbye, my favorite library. It's a shame you and I didn't get along as well as we do now in my previous life, because back then I was only interested in manhives with handsome men. But that's okay, I appreciate you much more now. See you later!

Tomorrow I have to wash up, go to the dining room and decorate the bread.....

- THAT'S WHERE YOU WERE, YOU LITTLE BITCH! - Her voice cut through the air like a knife.

Oh dear, I think I'm getting caps today after all. But I have to hang on. I have to be strong, despite her fierce gaze. I have to try to keep her gold jewelry from falling off my rags. Not only did her scarlet eyes sparkle with hate, but there was something else in them that I couldn't understand. Perhaps it was angry pride? Or just anger that I still existed?

I hate her. I hate her more than anything. And the worst part is that my eyes are just like hers. Those scarlet eyes that reflect her cruelty, her contempt for me. And it's unbearable because every time I look in the mirror I see her.

She grabbed my hair and spoke through clenched teeth:

- Do you know how long I've been looking for you? А?

I felt her fingers digging into my hair like iron claws. But I must be as innocent as always.

- I'm sorry, Mom, I won't do it again... - I can barely hold back my tears, trying to look as defenseless as possible.

"Go ahead and hit me!" - I thought, gritting my teeth. Why did she let go of my hair? - Listen to me carefully. Tomorrow we're going to see the archduchess. We have been invited to the Winter Ball. It's one of those special balls where you have to behave normally. Do you understand me?

"Normal," of course. Just act like I'm a normal girl who eats three meals a day, sleeps on a soft bed, and wears pretty clothes. In short, be like everyone else, like I'm just a normal kid.

- Yes, Mom, I understand.

- Good, then. Now go to your room and go to bed. - She said with a satisfied smile. But that smile... it was monstrous, like the smile of a predator about to strike.

I heard her giving orders to the maid to get ready for the journey. Well, it looks like I'm finally going to have some new clothes. But why is she taking me? She's never done that before. And it's unlikely that the Archduke personally requested my presence. That can only mean one thing - that it is an order from the Emperor. But why now?

Did he remember me? The thoughts swirled around in my head and I didn't even notice that I was in my tiny room.

Shit... Even our maid's daughter lives better than me. And it's unbearable. I've always felt like something unnecessary, forgotten, overshadowed by those above me in this ruthless palace world.

I know that the emperor will attend the ball. Maybe he will listen to me. Maybe for once he will pay attention to me as a human being and not as a toy that is always in the background? But... what if he really doesn't care about me? What if I'm just another lowlife he'll forget as soon as I'm out of his sight?

I had to sleep or I wouldn't be able to endure the long journey to the Duchy, which would take two months. I closed my eyes and tried to calm my restless heart. Even the thought of the long journey made me feel the tension building up in my body.

The funny thing is that after these two months, it's December, the month in which the Winter Ball will begin. The month I'm looking forward to, if only to find out what I'll be facing there. I could hope for something better, but that would be too naive. It's unlikely that anyone will notice me at this ball.

Oh, I almost forgot to hide the jewelry. It's my escape fund, should I decide to leave. In this world of intrigue and betrayal, it may be my only chance at freedom. I carefully hid them in a secluded place, hoping I'd never have to use them. But if things didn't go as planned, this would be my salvation.

With these thoughts, I lay in bed, trying to calm my restless heart. But deep down, I knew I still couldn't put the thought to rest. Waiting is the worst punishment of all.