The Way To Show Love

"I'll ask you again—did you not like your name, Lucy?"

I froze. My mother's piercing gaze pinned me in place, her cold voice demanding an answer. The truth was, I had never found the name particularly likable. But what excuse could I possibly give her?

"No, I like the name," I forced a smile, my voice steady but my hands clenched at my sides. "It's a very good name—just as I'd expect from Mom."

A flicker of amusement danced across her otherwise emotionless face. "So, what will be your excuse this time?"

Excuses. They wouldn't work anymore.

I swallowed, my throat dry. "The name Lucy has a very… feminine feel. It's not really meant for boys."

There. I said it. Surely she would understand—

"But your appearance is also feminine, despite you being a boy," she countered without hesitation.

Angh—this again. A deep sigh almost escaped me. I had tried, for so long, to ignore the fact that in both my lives, people mistook me for a girl. It was frustrating.

My face burned, but I had no strength left to argue. "...Fine. You can call me Lucy as a nickname."

Anything to move past this humiliating topic.

"Good." A faint smirk tugged at her lips, though it didn't quite reach her eyes. "You just need to do as I say, Lucy."

With that, she stood up, her cold expression returning. "I'll be going now. You must study properly and improve your etiquette."

"I will try to improve," I murmured.

I wanted her to stay. To sit with me just a little longer. But I knew she had another family waiting for her.

"Take care on your way back, Mom."

She barely nodded. "I will visit again sometime later, so be prepared. I'll be asking about your studies."

"Yes, I'll study hard. Bye-bye."

I watched as she walked away, her figure disappearing into the distance. Would it have killed her to give me a simple hug? Just once?

I sighed. No use dwelling on it now. I had to study hard. But despite my best efforts to focus, one lingering doubt refused to leave my mind.

I knew about this world.

The thought unsettled me.

Before I could reflect further, a voice interrupted my thoughts.

"Young Master, the Duke has arrived at the mansion. He is waiting for you."

I stiffened.

"What? Why?"

The Duke—my father. He never even visited when I was born. Why now?

A strange sense of déjà vu settled over me, thick and suffocating.

"Young Master, I believe today is your birthday," the servant offered hesitantly.

That should have reassured me, but it didn't. My chest tightened with unease.

"Okay... Let's go."

I didn't want to see that man. But deep down, I had a feeling—an undeniable certainty—that today, I would find answers about this world.

---

POV: Alice von Stellar

"My lady, we will be arriving at Stellar Duchy shortly," Emma, my maid, informed me.

I barely acknowledged her words, my cold gaze locked onto the view outside the carriage window. My fingers tapped against my lap, betraying my impatience.

"Emma," I murmured, my voice distant, "what do you think about Lucy?"

Emma straightened, caught off guard by my question.

"Young Master is very intelligent," she said carefully. "Sometimes, he does not act his age."

I scoffed. Of course he's intelligent. He's my son.

Yet, despite saying that, my heart felt heavy.

"He is better than average, but nothing special," I added, as if trying to convince myself.

Emma remained silent, but I knew she was holding back. If I praised Lucy too much, she would tell him. And he would tease me. The thought alone made me embarassed.

"But, my lady," Emma hesitated before asking, "why did you give the young master the name Lucy?"

I turned away from the window, closing my eyes. "It's a complicated reason. I'm too tired to explain."

Complicated. That was one way to put it. The truth?

Because he is beautiful.

He has my face, my silver hair—though the crimson in his eyes is different. Yet, even with that, he looks breathtaking. If I had the chance, I would dress him as a girl. He would be adorable.

Emma interrupted my thoughts again. "I'm sorry, my lady, but I have one more question about the young master."

I glanced at her, mildly surprised. Emma rarely pried into matters beyond her duties.

"Go on," I allowed.

She hesitated. "Earlier, when you told the young master to only follow you… it was unsettling."

I inhaled sharply.

"Are you saying I'm trying to control my son?"

That feeling... That strange, unfamiliar feeling when I spoke to him. Why did I say that to him?

Emma shook her head quickly. "No, my lady. I do not mean to blame you. But… you hardly ever smile. Yet, when you said those words, you smiled. And it has been so long since I last saw that."

I froze.

I had smiled?

Did Lucy see it too? No. He couldn't have. If he did, I would have to make an excuse next time.

My fingers curled in my lap. I am not a good mother.

"...Emma," I whispered, my voice barely audible, "does Lucy hate me?"

I already knew the answer. There was no way he could forgive me.

Emma looked at me with a softness I didn't deserve. "My lady, we have arrived."

The carriage stopped in front of the mansion, and all thoughts of Lucy faded when I stepped outside.

A small girl, younger than Lucy, stood there, waiting for me.

"Mama!"

I bent down, scooping her up in my arms. "Did you miss Mama?" I kissed the top of her head, inhaling the familiar scent. "Sorry I was late. I had extra work. Where is Papa?"

The door to the mansion opened, and a man stepped out—my husband, the only man I had ever loved.

"Did your meeting go well?" he asked, his warm brown eyes locking onto mine.

"Yes." I exhaled, the weight in my chest easing. "Let's go inside. It's cold."

As I stepped through the door, guilt twisted in my gut. This was my home. My happy family.

But Lucy—

I must have hesitated, because Emma's voice reached me in a quiet whisper.

"I'm sure the young master will never hate you," she said. "He was very happy today. So you can be reassured and spend time with the young miss. Soon, the next date to meet him will come."

A lump formed in my throat. I turned away before anyone could see the emotions flickering across my face.

"Yes," I murmured. "We will meet again."

I would prepare another cake for him.

Maybe… just maybe, he would smile for me.

"Thank you," I whispered, stepping into the warmth of my home.

But even as I held my daughter close, Lucy's face remained in my mind.