Chapter 3

I went to make him some hangover soup, but he held me back, preventing me from cooking. "There's no better hangover cure than having you by my side."

"Just stay with me for a while longer."

At first, I wasn't sure if he was mistaking me for someone else.

But as time passed, I gladly accepted it, willingly embracing the alcohol on his breath.

He would often surprise me with small romantic gestures.

During holidays, he charmed both sets of parents effortlessly.

He frequently visited my family, putting his arm around my waist, saying, "Don't worry, Mom and Dad. Scarlett is wonderful."

"Marrying her was the best decision I've ever made."

Even though I always felt he was just putting on an act.

Yet in those moments, I couldn't shake the feeling that Dashiell and I were destined to spend our lives together.

If not as lovers, then as family.

I never imagined he could be so heartless, silently watching me take birth control pills for three years.

If Jade hadn't discovered it, I would have kept taking them indefinitely.

His hand trembled slightly as he held the report, his gaze distant.

In a voice that seemed to scrape from his throat, he said, "I was afraid of hurting you."

"You won't need to take them anymore."

Just two short sentences, without an apology or concern.

Instead, it was an evasion after making a mistake. I let out a cold laugh. Was he afraid of hurting me, or scared that if he told me the truth, he wouldn't get what he wanted?

Dashiell's selfishness and hypocrisy were spilling over.

I just felt disgusted.

"Dashiell, you make it sound so easy. Do you have any idea how much I suffered, lying awake at night, anxious that it was my fault?"

I slowly took the hospital report from his hand, pointing to the results.

"The doctor says I've taken too many birth control pills. My hormones are all messed up, and it's likely I won't be able to conceive."

"You only wanted to have a child with someone you love, but did you ever think that I might have the right to be a mother too?"

"Are you satisfied now? You won't need to feed me pills anymore. I'll have a hard time getting pregnant anyway."

My voice became choked up, tears falling even harder than before.

My body shook, wracked by sobs.

"But there's no 'us' anymore, Dashiell. I hate you."

After the drug components were analyzed, I immediately went to the hospital to get myself checked out, just to be safe.

Everything was so brutally real. I couldn't escape the damage these pills had done to me.

When the doctor said I'd have difficulty getting pregnant in the future, I started to hate Dashiell. Now, my hatred for Dashiell has reached its peak.

I will never forgive him.

I enter the bedroom and lock the door, just as the computer screen lights up.

It's Elio sending me another message.

He's been waiting for me abroad for a long time.

Since we officially parted ways, he's been emailing me every week.

Now, as the email arrives on schedule, I hastily wipe the tears from my face.

I pull myself together to read the email.

Inside, there's a blurry photo of a black hole.

[Today we observed another collapsing star. Scarlett, how have you been lately? I miss you so much.]

[After I retire, to avoid becoming a sorrowful black hole myself, I'll definitely return to the States to be by your side.]

[It's just too far away now. I miss you so much it breaks my heart.]

Elio, having grown up abroad since childhood, always mixes in some foreign dry humor.

Over these five years, the files he's sent me have piled up into a mountain, taking over my entire inbox.

The photos he's taken for me, the sweet nothings he's said - I've backed them all up separately, always afraid they might disappear after too long.

But I've never replied to him. All this time, it's been his one-man show.

Because unlike Dashiell, I know I'm married and I have my own sense of propriety and shame. I always thought that with time, Elio would slowly get over me, but he didn't.

I sat here, quietly browsing through our old letters.

Memories flooded back, and for a split second, two little figures were fighting in my heart.