Life feels strange

My head is throbbing, until it just vanishes. My gaze shifts around the room. Relief and comfort sink in. My bedroom is illuminated by the sun, and the red curtains taint the colors of the sunlight. Did I save her? My uncertainty makes fear seem closer than it is. Silence—that's what I'm hearing. No cars or birds, no muffled voices, or the usual sounds I would expect by now.

"What, how did I end up here?" I rubbed my eyes, and the time on my phone showed 7 am. I must've been asleep for hours.

I'm checking the emails, but so far no answer. "They sure as hell take their time."

Yawning always feels good, especially after an event like that.

If Nexus accepts me. I could save the money up for college, eventually finding something better. Who knows, maybe even a girlfriend? Julia won't leave my mind, I still can't believe a jerk like that, landing a relationship with a girl like her.

So there I was, my bed feeling as comfy as ever. Where's Julia? Is she ok?

And there it was—that distinct sound the front door always made whenever someone entered the house.

Of course, I couldn't tell who it was. But If I had to guess, Aunt Jenna's footsteps were light, walking at a normal pace.

Before my senses can fully register, the door opens. Julia—she's right there, a look of worry etched onto her face.

"You're awake. You know-you didn't have to do that."

The atmosphere in the room shifted. The silence was palpable—almost suffocating.

As my pulse rises, I begin to notice... Is that a smile? Wow, she's gorgeous.

Now I know—even if I got hurt, at least she's safe.

"I had to intervene, who was he anyways?" I scoffed, still in disbelief at everything.

"Just an ex... I'm glad I broke up with him."

Her body language, there's much more to the story. Do I ask her?

"You wanna talk about it?" her gaze, shifted away from mine. "Maybe another time"

Her gaze is locked on the window. "I'm sorry... I wish I could've done more"

Julia's next to me, sitting on the edge of my bed. I pull her into a side hug.

Even though we hadn't known each other until yesterday, The tears rolling down her cheek- I couldn't take it.

"Don't say that... You did everything you could." My heart couldn't take it anymore. Yes, I'm nervous, but... I don't care.

 My thumb brushed over her tear, and she was folding into my embrace.

"Thank You"

Julia's tears dampen the fabric of my shirt, and I hold her tighter, unsure of how to ease her pain. Her body shakes with each sob, and I find myself at a loss for words. I rub her back, trying to offer her some comfort, But nothing seems enough. Suddenly, the door creaks open, Nathans's silhouette appearing in the crack.

His eyes flicker between us two, his hand still resting on the door handle, almost as if unsure whether to intrude or leave. He peeks into the room, I catch his gaze, and for a brief second, his face softens with understanding. Before he shut the door, leaving us in the silence.

"Hey, you want some Ice Cream?" Her chin lifts from my shoulder. "I'd love Vanilla, right about now"

My hands reach out for hers.

"piggyback ride" Julia smiles, getting up from the bed. "Jackets first" Her jacket fits her personality, its bright colors evident. Her angelic presence now shimmering through.

"Let's go" she's so pretty. "Oh, where are you birdies going?"

"Just getting some Ice Cream." I smiled subconsciously. "Alright be safe, birdies" 

Like a gentleman, I'm sticking with the codex, making sure I hold the door open.

"Well, get on my back." Jenna's smile, I could feel it. It's radiant, just like hers.

Everything changes—the colors of the sky, the birds, and the bees now feel more vibrant and alive.

I'm scared. Am I falling in love? Is this what love feels like?

Usually, I wouldn't notice, but a truck drives past us, its design featuring a cupid.

Adorable. 

"Did you see that truck?" she smiles, knowing I was fully aware of it. "Yeah, It's cute" 

The woman's smile behind the counter was telling. "That's cute, You know what?-" She works her magic, the ice cream scooper firmly held in her hand. As She hands our cones over, she adds.

"It's on the house." What?, Why? "I'm sorry miss, are you sure?" she must sense my confusion.

She's tilting her head, that smile shining like a sun.

"Someone's confused. Yes silly, I'd love to give free Ice cream to a cute couple."

The world around me blurs, The sounds fading into the background of what feels like a movie. Cars or birds audible

"Thank you miss" My smile, radiated. "Oh, no problem sweetie." Julia takes her Ice cream, slowly eating away at it. But my world remains hazy and blurred.

"Hey Silly," she nudges me smiling playfully "your ice cream is going to melt"

I snap out of it, taking a bite out of the ice cream. The ice cream feels soft and creamy against my tongue. Its flavors are sweet and refreshing.

She laughed, it feels good- life feels good, at least for now. The day went by in a blur, laughter mixing with the warm air of the summer. I'm beginning to love summer.

Jenna plops down next to me, her grin feeling way too subtle.

This feels like heaven. "So," she drags her word out, "how did it go?- I mean the date" Jenna was smiling, as she mostly is.

I'm frowning, usually, I'm not a humorous guy but... Julia- she makes me feel emotions I, didn't know I had. "A date?" my lips curving into a smile "We just got some ice cream and enjoyed the rest of our day." Jenna scoffed jokingly"Oh please, don't act like a fool. You and I both know you like her" What?! How does she know? How can she tell? 

"Yeah sure" Her hands push me to the side."No feelings of, happiness and love. None at all" Jenna saw through my lies, who am I kidding? "Yes no feelings of love" Jenna's gaze flew across my face, rolling her eyes"Liar, you know, I think it's cute" 

This is so embarrassing, why did I choose the couch?

As my body shifts, my thoughts change as well. Jenna is way too good at reading me, sometimes I feel like an open book. 

The anniversary photo of my parents, they took it two weeks before their accident. It's been 9 years now.

" I can still picture the day-" Jenna smiles"When Emma told me, she was going to get married to David. She pauses, reminiscing then she adds, "I thought she was crazy, I mean she was so young"

the burning car, I can smell it. I can feel the heat of the flames.

Of course, my eyes stayed shut. Hearing their screams of agony was enough. I was a kid.

"I'm beat up, I think I'm heading to bed"

"Oh, yeah sure sweetie. Sweet dreams" I'm heading to my bedroom. Yes, I might be tired, but maybe I can still find the box of my old stuff. This takes me quite a while, but I found it. The Teddybear, I found it. Its burning remarks are still present on it.

Now, that I think about it. There is not much to remember about the accident. "Anyways, I'm exhausted." I'm closing my eyes, hoping sleep is just around the corner.

"What's that noise?" the sunrise, was almost too much to handle. As my hands rub my eyes, I realize my phone is ringing. "Hey goofball" It's Julia, her voice so soothing to drown. "How'd you sleep?" Her voice, Is magnificent. "Hey babe, It was beautiful, I miss you. Wanna hang out later-Please?" I hope she answers with a yes. "Yeah, I'd love to see your smile." Suddenly, it went dark. I was awake. The time reads 8 am. It was only a dream.

 Before I could realize, what was going on, Jenna's gentle steps make their way over to my window.

"Morning sunshine, wake up. I've made some breakfast for you and Nathan"

"Oh that's cute, you found your Bear." she pauses, as her smile lights up the room "Gosh, I haven't seen him for a while."

I didn't even realize, my bear was lying right beside me.

Mom, Dad. Our family photo sat firmly on my bedside table.

 The screams, I never saw their bodies. But that's probably for the best.

"Get up Ethan" I muttered "Just get up" 

Nexus won't accept someone like me. They're just gonna brush me off.

 how's Julia doing?

I can't believe it. Weeks have gone by. And Nexus remains radio silent.

As I lift myself from my bed, Jenna says "Finally, I've been waiting. There's a doughnut, waiting for you." Jenna's smile teases me "Julia brought it over, you guys are the sweetest" 

"Sometimes, I'd love for Tommy to do the same," she says, crossing her arms. "Small gestures like these, y'know? they do, count"

My exhausted feet stumble across the floor.

the vanilla doughnut, sitting on a plate. It's delicious. I haven't had vanilla in a while.

the note reads:

Hey, goofball. Here's my number—call me. Don't be shy! Why didn't you just ask me for it?

What is she talking about? Nathan?!

Nathan sits on the couch, his gaze buried in his book.

"Nathan, what the hell?!" my voice is gentle, but confused "What's up?"

Yeah right... acting like he doesn't know.

"Don't play stupid." I scoffed, embarrassed. "I know, you told Julia-that I want her number."

"Ok, fine you got me." he shuts the book, his hands resting on his leg. "I only wanted to help you out"

What the hell dude, I mean thanks. But It should've been me.

"Dude, what the hell." my palms now burying my face. "Thanks but it should've been me"

"Should I call her?" he shrugs his shoulder. "I mean, she wants it?"

the warmth of the outside world is charming. My favorite chair, sitting right there. On the left side of the balcony.

Come on pick up. What am I doing, don't make me wait. Please.

The world around me blurs as if it were holding its breath.

"There you are goofball." Her smile is audible, the sweetest tone."Hey July, thanks for the gift"

No girl compares to her. There's a treasure in the sea, I think I found it.

"Oh Yeah. I almost forgot." 

Julia's face lights up, she rummages through her backpack.

"Yes, here. What do you think?

The lines on the sketchbook. Colors as vibrant as the sun shining on flowers. An ocean of trees. Amazing I could not describe it.

"I love it, it makes me feel vibrant."

"thank you," she freezes in realization. "Jules, I have to take her for a walk."

"Bye-bye, love yourself more. And oh! Be careful, Please!"

Life feels strange.