CHAPTER 2 - Decadence

----1----

"Do you 'Kiyoshi', take your partner 'Atsuko' as your lover, to survive by her side

through the good days and the bad?"

I had heard this sentence before. It was the knight's, from the wedding. The aura

faded and I was able to perceive my surroundings again. I was, as I suspected, at the

wedding. I immediately looked at Atsuko to make sure she was still alive. Was that...

Just a stupid dream? I thought to myself at that point. I thought it was due to the lack

of sleep caused by the wedding preparations. I mentally pinched my cheek to regain

my composure. I had just seen my wife being murdered in my arms, and now she is

standing in front of me, alive.

"I repeat... Do you 'Kiyoshi', take your partner 'Atsuko' as your lover, to

to survive by her side through the good and bad times?" repeated the knight. It

was just like in the dream. I had the feeling that it was a coincidence.

"Yes," I said in a decomposed tone. I tried to suppress my thoughts about the dream. I

didn't want the lack of sleep to rob me of my most meaningful day.

"Will you 'Atsuko', love your partner... 'Kiyoshi', forever?" said the knight as before.

"Yes," she answered with a broad grin. As if in a dream, everything repeated itself. The

smell of lavender spread throughout the hall. The flowers from the podium made her even

more beautiful than she already was... I couldn't shake the feeling that something was

wrong here. It was like deja vu. The audience reacted in the same way.

With each repetition, the feeling of uncertainty grew stronger. Time passed like the

falling speed of a petal. Much like the flowers that fell from the sky while we were lying

in the field of flowers. I supported myself again with my arms as I lifted myself up from

the grass and looked down at Atsuko. I held out my hand, which she took without a

word and pulled herself up with some strength. Everything happened like a

manuscript. A prescribed fate that I wanted to break. As the uncertainty in me steadily

grew, I came to the conclusion that I should run away with her. I wanted to make sure

that my nightmare did not turn out to be true. I grabbed her hand and ran.

"Kiyoshi! What's going on!" Atsuko said worriedly. She was having a hard time running

with the dress on. I answered her with an anxious "Trust me. I beg you...". I heard the

rustling of the leaves and trees we ran past. I felt like I had made it, when suddenly the

sound of a gust of wind rang out. It seemed as if the wind was trying to warn me with

its cry. "Argh!" I screamed and fell to the ground. "Kiyoshi... What's going on!" she

screamed angrily, but I didn't know either. For some inexplicable reason I could no

longer move. I managed to just focus my gaze on my leg with all my strength.

An arrow pierced my right calf, but this does not normally lead to paralysis. It was an

arrow that had been soaked in paralysis poison. Only then did I realize what was

happening. Everything began to repeat itself. I looked up at Atsuko. You could

immediately see the desperation reflected in her eyes. It tormented her... to see me

hurt.

Before I noticed, the figure from the dream was standing behind her. But this time it

was different, because I recognized him. An iron helmet, a breastplate, and the badge

of the Aphragon Church. I was stunned and shocked. The knight who was the best

man turned out to be my wife's murderer. I could not move my

Facial muscles, due to paralysis, and thus i couldnt warn Atsuko. I had

to watch helplessly as she was murdered again in front of my eyes. The tears began to

flow uncontrollably. The knight drew the sword from its scabbard and positioned it

horizontally over his right shoulder. It was the same sword technique that I used. I

could tell from his posture which part of the body he was aiming at. With a merciless

swing, he severed the connection between head and body. He beheaded her... Atsuko,

with whom I had just shared one of the most wonderful moments, lay beheaded in

front of me. At that point, I had forgotten the extent of the psychological injuries. I

hardly noticed how affected I was. Atsuko's head flew at high speed to the dirty

ground, but for me it felt like 2 hard hours. It was horrific and heartbreaking to see her

in this condition. When her head hit the ground, I was somewhere else in an instant.

----2----

"Do you 'Kiyoshi', take your partner 'Atsuko' as your lover, to survive by her side

through the good days and the bad?"

That can't be... No, never... I thought. It made no sense to me why I had to experience

Atsuko's murder all the time. What was the universe trying to tell me? At that point I

didn't understand what caused this. I couldn't take it anymore. But before I went

mental any further, Atsuko spoke to me during the wedding ceremony.

"Hey Kiyoshi... Is everything OK? You look ill." she whispered to me worriedly, and

only then did I realize what I looked like. Through the reflection of her ruby eyes I saw

my pathetic face, plagued by despair and fear. You could see that I was suffering.

Suddenly I remembered who murdered Atsuko. I immediately looked at the knight and

sprinted towards him with hate-filled steps. I hit his iron helmet, causing him to fall to

the ground. With every blow I gave him, my hand became bloodier. It probably didn't

hurt him much.

"YOU DAMN BASTARD!" I screamed, spitting with emotion. I acted like an animal and

forgot myself. But then, several people grabbed me and separated us. During the

interaction, people from the audience ran towards me to subdue me, "Wild Animal".

"LET ME GO, YOU IDIOTS" I screamed wildly. I tried to free myself from the grips by

thrashing around uncontrollably. But then I noticed... They all didn't know what this

person would do later in the day. That also meant that I couldn't prove it. From outside i literally look like a madman. They possibly thought that i went crazy.

"Why... Why are you doing this to me..." I whispered. It was

my current thoughts that I couldn't keep to myself because of emotions. I was no

longer able to think clearly. The hands that held me felt like burning chains that left an

imprint on my skin. But I was only imagining this, it was more my psyche that was

suffering.

When Atsuko ran to me to calm me down, it happened again. However, this time it

started much earlier. It never even got to the field of flowers because the knight was

waiting for the opportunity to draw his sword, and that opportunity opened up

because they all held me tight. Once again, I couldn't do anything but watch it. I

couldn't mentally prepare myself because the sword was already piercing them.

"Kiyosh-..." she said in her final moments, and only then did I realize the magnitude of

my actions. No matter what escape attempt I tried, it led to the same end. There is no

way out of this nightmare... I believed at that time.

"Do you 'Kiyoshi', take your partner 'Atsuko' as your lover, to survive by her side

through the good days and the bad?"

The words that had once brought me happiness, became my curse. I harbor deep

resentment towards the red thread of fate. I wasn't ready to give up, so I let the day

repeat itself without immediately attacking the knight. My hate-filled look could have

given me away, but I kept it hidden. I believed I could do it, but it never happened. I

experienced this day so incredibly often that I couldn't even count it on one hand. Is it

already 100... or 300? I didn't know. Atsuko died permanently, and I couldn't save her.

Whether it was killing her with poison, or burning her... It didn't help me save Atsuko. I

saw her die many different deaths. How ironic isnt it...? I thought to myself. I had

previously promised her that I would get through both the good and the bad days. But

with each passing day, I lost hope of a way out. As I lost hope, I got used to the sight of

my lifeless wife. I knew I wasn't well... I knew it...

----3----

"Do you 'Kiyoshi', take your partner 'Atsuko' as your lover, to survive by her side

through the good days and the bad?"

I gave up that day. I told myself that it was normal to give up... 

I closed my eyes and stopped everything. It was like an infection that I was chasing.

When I let go, I felt relieved, but I forgot what the cost was. I let the day repeat itself as

if nothing had happened. She died over and over again in the flower field. With every

flower that I could pick, the days repeated themselves. I had probably already cracked

the 1000 mark. I don't know how it happened, but one day I spoke to her first in the

flower field.

"Hey, I'm pathetic... aren't I?" I told her, not expecting an answer. For some unknown

reason, tears started to flow. It probably affected me more than I thought. It was like

the decay of a flower.

"You shouldn't think like that," she said and began to blush. "Even if this is a bit

cheesy... I love you. So stop thinking badly of yourself, it only hurts me," she explained.

"Even if I gave up? Even if I took the easy way out and gave up?" I asked her

desperately.

"I don't know exactly what you're talking about, but you're not the type of person who

gives up. And if you ever give up, you always have the option to come to me," she said.

I let out a short, desperate laugh. My tears flowed out of me in abundance. I didn't

want her to see me in this state, so I put my arm over my eyes, covering them. How

pathetic I am... I thought.

"Do you 'Kiyoshi', take your partner 'Atsuko' as your lover, to survive by her side

through the good days and the bad?"

This time I gathered my courage and waited for the right moment. A small spark of

hope gathered within me. I spent the day as I always did, waiting for the moment

when the knight left the hall. When the moment finally came, I walked quickly to

Atsuko.

"Atsuko, can you hold the fort here? I'll be right back, but I forgot something at home,"

I told her. It clearly was an excuse...

"Mmhh... Good, but please hurry!" she replied.

I secretly started to follow the knight. It was a long way, but it ended in an alley. There

was no way he could have noticed me, as we kept a large distance. When he sat down

on the cold asphalt, he pulled out a pocket watch. I couldn't really see it, but it was one

of those watches that you could open. I took advantage of the moment of distraction

and sprinted towards him. Before he could notice, I was

already on his body. I punched his helmet with enormous force, causing him to fall to the

ground. Without giving him a chance to react, I put my knees on each of his arms to

prevent him from moving or trying to escape. I got far, but I wanted more. I wanted to

know who he was and why he did this.

"Time... to see the truth!" I said, while my two hands moved of their own accord. I

slowly but impatiently pulled off his helmet, but before I could see anything, he

screamed.

"YOU SHOULDN'T DO THAT. I BEG YOU. THAT WOULD BE THE DEATH FOR BOTH OF US!"

"At this moment, can't you think of anything better than to give me a made-up

excuse?" I told him angrily. Of course I was wondering what he was talking about, but

there were more important things. The helmet slowly slid off his head and when it was

finally off, my breath caught. My heart began to race and my hands shook. I slowly

stood up and took two cautious steps backwards. In my thousands of days that I had

lived, I had never expected... to see myself. It was the face I knew best... my own. Tha- That can't be... How- No... Why? My head started to rattle as if this sight had set some

gears in motion. It ran through every single possibility, interaction and conversation I

had experienced in all my time, but it was to no avail. There was no logical conclusion

that could lead to this moment.