Blood on the Boulevard

One reviewer had commented that Clarise Chalmers had a face that started somewhere

around Grace Kelly and ended up at Michelle Pfeiffer via a Victoria Secret angel or two. She had

silver blond shoulder length hair that recalled Marilyn Munroe and like Munroe herself, as critics

also noted, Clarise Chalmers could light up any film just by being in it. Add in her reputation as a

party animal and bad girl, of which Will was well aware, and the result was a sexual appeal

bombshell that exploded in the writer's face.

About to swallow a mouthful of light beer, Will did what any red-blooded American guy

would when do in the circumstances - he choked and sat down coughing so hard that Hap patted

him on the back.

"When he recovers his name is Will," said the multi-millionaire.

After some spluttering, thinking how humiliating it all was, Will managed to say "It is a

great honour to meet you, Ms Chalmers. I've admired your films."

Hap ordered drinks for the ladies.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Will," said Meghan-Clarise, amused. She never got tired of the

effect she had on good looking men, particularly if they were polite about their admiration as Will

had just been. "What do you do in Hollywood?"

Will knew that he had not a hope in all creation of interesting Clarise Chambers and, in any

case, after Violet he was wary of actresses, so he thought that he would not lose anything by saying

the first thing that came into his head.

"I'm the very lowest of the Hollywood low, Ms Chalmers," he said, remembering how

Violet had been so dismissive of his books. "You really shouldn't be seen with me. Think of your

reputation."

"My reputation is already trash," said Clarise, amused. "But thanks for thinking of it. You're

an assistant producer?"

"Royalty compared to me. Their assistants return my calls to tell me to go away." Will had

never tried to call as assistant producer and wasn't exactly sure what they did, but it seemed a fair

bet.

"I see. Stage hand?"

"They're allowed on set. The likes of me are warned off by security if we're lucky. If we're

unlucky we'll get beaten up in a back room."

"That is bad. Executive assistant?"

"When they do return my calls to their bosses, they sneer at me."

"Okay, Will, I give up, what do you do?"

"I'm a writer."

Clarise laughed, surprising Mia who was engrossed in her conversation with Hap.

"Yes, that is low," said the star. "But not so low that I can't be seen in a bar with you. I can

always just say I didn't want to be rude."

It was Will's turn to laugh. "You remember that old film Shakespeare In Love?"

"Actually, I do," said Clarise, who had studied Shakespeare as part of her unfinished degree.

"Good film."

"You might remember a part during rehearsals for the first production of Romeo and Juliette

when someone points to Shakespeare who's talking to the actors and asks the theatre manager

'Who's he?' And the manager says, 'Oh he's no-one, he's just the author'. Now if they're going to

say that about the greatest playwright of all time, what are they going to say about someone who

writes trashy military SF for fourteen-year-olds? You'll need a better excuse for talking to me."

Will had recovered enough to appreciate that Clarise was braless underneath a low-cut, red

club dress (the jacket with the hood had been cast aside) and was struggling not to leer.

The actress giggled softly. She had noticed Will's struggles and was amused by them.

"You're not trying to sell yourself at all here are you, Will. Men usually sell themselves to me."

"You would have seen through all of that in a split second, Ms Chalmers. I'm also a nerd as

well as a writer. I even have a theory about Darth Vader."

She laughed again. Will thought that Violet would have killed for a chance to have a drink

with Clarise Chalmers.

"This keeps getting worse and worse," the actress said. "Please don't tell me your theory

about Darth Vader. A boyfriend in college got me to watch the first three movies produced. That's

several hours of my life I won't get back. Let's talk about something else."

"You can always turn this meeting to your advantage," said Will, "you can say you've met a

nerd and a writer and they're not so bad. You can't let them into the neighbourhood as they bring

down property prices, but otherwise they're okay. Shows that you're broadminded."

"As it happens, Will, my life is plagued by writers," she said.

"It is, why?"

"I need them, so consultants tell me, for my website, Twitter – sorry, X – account, as well as

for Instagram, Facebook, Tinder and I don't know what else besides, all to develop my image."

"Pardon me, Ms Chalmers but what are you doing on Tinder? It's a dating app and you have

a boyfriend, some big star."

"Robin Hawke. You read the media news, Will?"

"I knew someone in the acting scene here for a time," said Will. "Also, why bother to

develop anything on Instagram? It's good for Eastern European models who want to build a profile,

but you're already a star with fans in the millions. You use it to boost your next film or

endorsement. If you don't have anything to sell then send off a couple of pics of you, I dunno,

looking fabulous at the latest glitzy star event, with details about where it is. Same for Facebook

and X and whatever else. Just keep your millions of fans interested with the occasional bulletin until

you're ready to push something. Needs some writing but not much."

"I see," said Clarise, leaning back – Will had to be careful not to look down - and eyeing the

writer quizzically. "You use social media yourself much, Will."

"Some, although I have my doubts about how much my fan base, such as it is, looks at X or

Facebook. They'll look at Instagram, but they'd be way more interested in Eastern European

models than my stuff."

"I also get scripts from writers all the time," Charise said. "All with shower scenes."

"You have a reputation for such scenes, Ms Chalmers. I hope you don't mind if I say I have

found them interesting myself, but I guess you want to move beyond them," said Will.

"Maybe," said Clarise, thinking that Will had been suitably respectful in the way he had

admitted to liking her shower scenes.

"You remember Sharon Stone and the film from way back, Basic Instinct."

"With the interrogation scene where she isn't wearing underwear," said Clarise. "She says

she was tricked into doing that."

"That's right," said Will, "but the film made her, and it otherwise has a certain style. It's not

solely about the characters simulating sex. Then there is the case of Jacqueline Bisset's wet tee shirt

in the film The Deep."

"Haven't heard of that one."

"It's a 70s film so way back. As you'd expect from the name a lot of it is underwater and Ms

Bisset wears a wet, see-through tee shirt for the first few minutes of the film. A shot of her in that

tee shirt underwater which she did not authorise was a feature of the film's publicity campaign. She

also says that no-one, including her, realised how see through it was until they looked at the actual

shots much later. But the sight of Ms Bisset in that shirt made the film. I read one unkind review

that said the film was only worth watching for that scene. It's even credited with starting the fad of

wet tee-shirt contests. My point, Ms Chalmers, is that sex still sells, big time."

"Hmmm!" said Clarise, still eying Will. "How do you know all this stuff?"

"My life at the moment is so interesting I've had time to look at film clips on YouTube,"

said Will. "On the other side of the sex coin, there's Charlize Theron in the film Monster; a biopic

about the only known female serial killer. She deliberately put on thirty pounds for the role and won

both the Academy Award and the Golden Globe for best actress that year. More importantly, as far

as Hollywood was concerned, the film was also a big commercial success."

"Thirty pounds!" exclaimed Clarise.

"And she lost it again – an important point for most women."

"Look at the time," said Mia, suddenly, getting up. "We want to be just fashionably late to

that party. Good to meet you, Will."

"And you," said Will.

"This has been most interesting Will," said Clarise, also standing up. She turned to go then

turned back again. "Before I go what is your take on this thing with Connie Leighton."

"The singer?" said Will. "You ladies have some sort of history I seem to recall reading.

She's been saying stuff about you."

"I'm not jetting around talking about the environment enough."

"Oh right, now I remember," said Will. "But there is an obvious snap back, isn't there?"

"Is there?"

"Sure, all she's really doing is flying into climate conferences on a private jet, telling poor

people not to use energy, and flying away again. Doesn't sound very constructive to me.

Clarise thought about this. "Should I say that?"

"Not quite like that," said Will, a little surprised that she was taking him seriously. "Maybe

say if Leighton really wants to save emissions she'd do a lot more by trading in her private jet for a

bicycle than talking about it."

"Hmmm!" said Clarise.

"If reporters persist say that emissions are a complex problem and governments should do

more, which is basically all Leighton is saying. Then walk away."

"Okaaaay.. most interesting to meet you, Will," she said and left.

Will's first act after the ladies left was to bury his head in Hap's shoulder.

"All I did was babble," he said, his voice muffled by the entrepreneur's jacket. Hap patted

him on the head with his other hand in mock sympathy.

"There, there," he said, amused.

At the door to the bar, Clarise looked back, saw this byplay, and giggled. Most gratifying.

"I almost told her my theory on Darth Vader. Thank the lord she stopped me."

"I heard the name. What is your theory on Darth Vader?"

Will sat up. "That he's really the good guy trying to hold the empire together, and that the

real villain is Luke Skywalker, who was out to grab parts of the Empire for himself"

"Okay," said Hap, nodding. "I understand. It's a good theory but maybe someone like

Clarise Chalmers is not quite ready for it."

"Maybe," said Will. "You didn't tell me a famous star was coming?"

Hap spread his hands. "I didn't know. I just thought the assistant would bring another

assistant type, not the star herself. Anyway, don't beat yourself up, you made her laugh a couple of

times."

"I guess," said Will.

"You can now tell cute girl next door types that you've met Clarise Chalmers. It's a good

first date story."

"Hap, I like your thinking," said Will, brightening up. "First dates with cute next door types

sound more viable if I have a story like that to tell, and I might not babble."

"There's room for hope," said Hap. "I also wanted to talk about the script. You say there's

no point in trying to show it around?"

"Nope. I wouldn't know where to start but you certainly wouldn't get any of the major

agents, producers or studios interested in anything like that. You want to get out of here and grab

some fast food? I'll offer comments then. This place is way too fancy for my tastes."

"Why not," said Hap.

They adjourned to a burger place down the road, sitting opposite one another on the

communal table.

"You could make the script more palatable while leaving in some of the elements you have."