chapter 183 - A.M

Jay-Jay's POV

"YU—Ouch!" Suddenly, I tripped.

Just my luck!

I stood up, dusted off my clothes, and shook my hands as well. Looking around, I realized something—I think I'm lost?!

I took Yuri's cellphone from my pocket and glanced at the time, but his wallpaper caught my attention instead. It was a picture of the two of us. I wasn't looking at the camera, but he was, smiling brightly.

It was taken in the classroom. He was sitting next to me, and from the angle and the way I looked, it seemed like we were in the middle of a lesson when he took this picture.

I smiled, but at the same time, tears welled up in my eyes and began to fall. I couldn't stop myself from crying hard, like a child hugging their knees.

I'm scared! I'm afraid I'll never see Yuri's smile again.

"What is this?!" I sobbed, frustrated.

Why is everything such a mess? I thought the issue between Keifer and Ella was over, but why is it coming back again? I don't understand.

Suddenly, I heard a twig snap. I immediately stood up and wiped my tears.

"Yuri? Is that you?" I called out, trying to see where the sound came from.

I took a few cautious steps forward, but I couldn't see anything. With a sigh, I slumped my shoulders and stopped.

"Let's go!" I huffed in annoyance.

I turned to head back and continue my search, but just my luck—I hadn't noticed the cliff beside me. Before I could react, I slipped and fell straight down. My hands instinctively reached for anything to hold onto.

Thankfully, a large tree root saved me. My heart pounded wildly in my chest, and for a second, I felt like my soul had left my body.

Shit! A near-death experience?

This is all Yuri's fault! That idiot! Why did he have to hang out in the middle of the forest?! Couldn't he have just stayed in the hall or anywhere safer?

This is getting worse! So annoying!

I forced myself to climb back up. Once I secured a steady position, I peered down—and my frustration only grew when I saw that the drop wasn't even that deep. A small river ran below.

I reached into my pocket for Yuri's cellphone, but it was gone. My hands frantically patted my whole body, but I couldn't find it.

Damn it!

I looked around where I was sitting, but still, no sign of it.

Until I looked down.

What the—?!

The phone had fallen out of my pocket and landed below. Luckily, it hadn't dropped into the water.

I had no choice. I had to go down there to get it.

So annoying!

I descended slowly, gripping onto every root or branch I could reach. The darkness made it even harder to move, so I took each step carefully.

When I finally reached the bottom, I nearly slipped on the wet stones. I quickly scanned the ground for Yuri's cellphone.

Too bad! It's an iPhone, too!

I spotted it nestled in a thick clump of leaves. I picked it up, dusted it off, and finally checked the time—something I should've done earlier.

2:46 AM.

It's already morning, and I'm still in the forest looking for him. This is insane!

Just wait until I find you, Yuri! You're really—

I froze.

Across the river, a figure was lying on the ground. Even in the dim light, I could tell it was a person.

Yuri?!

I immediately ran toward him, stepping into the river without caring that half of my body was getting soaked. I had to reach him.

But when I got closer, my heart sank.

It wasn't a person at all. What I thought was a head was just a rock, and the "body" was a branch covered with cloth.

"Damn it!" I shouted, beyond frustrated.

I broke down crying again, but this time, it wasn't out of fear—it was pure exhaustion and irritation.

"Jay-Jay?"

My heart skipped a beat.

Even though I tried to stop them, my tears kept falling. I turned toward the voice.

There he was. The person I had been crying over. The person I was still crying for.

"Yuri…" I whispered. Without thinking, I ran back across the river and straight to him.

I hugged him tightly—but he immediately pulled away, groaning in pain.

"S-Sorry…" I gasped, stepping back. My eyes widened as I took in his appearance.

His clothes were torn, and he had a piece of cloth wrapped around his arm. His face was scratched, his glasses had a noticeable crack, and he looked like he had been through hell.

"What happened to you?!" I asked, my voice filled with worry.

"I… I fell," he admitted. "I heard your voice and tried to find you, but I ended up like this."

Tears welled up again.

"Why the hell would you wander around in the jungle?! Do you know how hard it was to find you?!" I snapped, unable to hold back my frustration.

He gave me a weak smile. "Sorry… I didn't think you'd come looking for me."

"Of course, I would!" I shot back. "After everything that happened—"

I cut myself off when I noticed how he looked away. His expression darkened, and he avoided my eyes.

I knew it.

He didn't want to talk about it.

"...S-are we back?" I asked, staying close to him.

His wound needed to be treated. I also wanted to know what had happened to Aries. Little did I know that Yuri's condition was worse than I had thought. Despite his injuries, he had even dared to fight.

I looked around. This part of the jungle was unfamiliar to me. Maybe if I followed the river back, I would find the waterfall where we had swum.

"This way." I pointed behind him.

I started walking, expecting him to follow, but I stopped when I noticed that he was struggling to walk properly.

One of his legs was missing.

I immediately rushed to his side to support him.

"I-I'm fine," he insisted.

You're fine?!

"Who are you trying to fool?" I asked sarcastically.

He let out a small laugh. I supported him with every step, feeling the pain he endured with each movement. My eyes landed on a fallen tree, one of its branches forming a natural umbrella of leaves.

"Rest here for a while," I told Yuri before stepping toward the tree.

I checked if it could provide shelter. Since one of the branches resembled an umbrella, it might not be a bad spot. I cleared the area, removing dirt and dry branches. Then, I searched for large leaves we could use as bedding.

Once I finished, I returned to Yuri and helped him over. The ground seemed stable enough, allowing him to rest.

"Are you alright?" I asked before sitting beside him.

"Yes… This spot is good, especially if it rains."

"Is it going to rain?" I looked up at the sky.

There were no stars. Rain was possible. I hoped it wouldn't come, or we might fall sick and be unable to return to the site.

"I just hope they don't find us," he murmured, leaning against the large fallen log behind us.

The darkness of the jungle surrounded us. Suddenly, I remembered Yuri's cellphone. I reached into my jacket pocket and pulled it out.

"Your phone," I said, handing it to him.

"Thanks."

He pressed the button, and the screen lit up, casting a glow on his face. That was when I noticed the full extent of his injuries—scratches, bruises, and a dark bruise near his eye.

I instinctively reached for his face, tilting it toward me.

"W-where did you fall? What happened to you?" I asked, snatching the phone to check the rest of his body. "...You have so many wounds!"

Aside from the one on his arm, which was wrapped in cloth, there were smaller cuts scattered across his arms and legs.

"I-I'm fine," he insisted with a weak smile.

I had no choice but to return his phone. Leaning back against the log, exhaustion finally settled over me. I wanted to close my eyes for just a moment, but I was worried about the rain catching up to us. I had only stopped because Yuri was struggling to walk.

"You can sleep first. I'll wake you up," he offered with a smile.

"No, it might rain. Besides, I want to get back before daylight."

He nodded in understanding.

But Aries—what had happened to him? Worry gnawed at me. Was it because of the fight? Had he lost consciousness because of Yuri? Or was it Keif's punch—

Damn!

I DIDN'T SAY GOODBYE TO HIM!

"Jay… are you okay?" Yuri asked, noticing my sudden change in expression.

Panic gripped me. Maybe Aries was already looking for me. Maybe he was disappearing from those trying to find him. What should I do?

Even if I wanted to call him, I didn't have my phone. I had left it in the tent earlier, thinking I wouldn't need it. And there was no signal here, so I couldn't even use Yuri's phone.

Really?! What a bad trip!

Frustrated, I leaned my head against the log again. I closed my eyes for a moment, and before I knew it, I had fallen asleep.

I woke up to the sensation of water dripping onto my face. Confused, I opened my eyes—it was raining.

I turned to Yuri, who was hugging himself against the cold.

"Why didn't you wake me up?" I asked, irritation creeping into my voice.

Without hesitation, I pulled off my hoodie and wrapped it around him. He remained still, silent. Concern flared inside me. I reached out and touched his forehead— He was burning up.

"Yuri! You have a fever!" I exclaimed, adjusting the jacket around him.

"H-how about you?" he asked weakly, shivering.

"I'm fine! Focus on yourself!"

I tried to warm him, but he was still trembling. Desperate, I did the only thing I could—I wrapped my arms around him to share my body heat.

I also tilted his head slightly to rest against my neck. The rain continued to pour, and although the fallen tree provided some shelter, we were already soaked.

"Just hold on. We'll get back to the site soon," I whispered.

He didn't respond. I had a feeling he had fallen asleep.

I wanted to sleep too—I was exhausted. But I couldn't leave him like this.

Fighting off my drowsiness, I noticed Yuri's phone lighting up at his feet. The battery icon appeared on the screen—it was low. I checked the time.

4:36 AM.

Dawn was near.

"Jay…" Yuri murmured weakly. "Jay…"

"What?" I answered, thinking he was awake.

I turned to him, but his eyes remained closed.

Was he talking in his sleep? Or delirious from the fever?

"I'll fight for you..." he whispered again, and I was stunned."...I won't allow myself to lose again..." He nuzzled his head into my neck.

"...Aishiteru."

It was nice to hear those words. Any woman would be thrilled. But I wasn't—because instead of excitement, I felt something else.

Shame dominated me.

I can't fight like he does. If only I could teach the heart, I would have taught it long ago—just as I teach a math problem—that only he should be loved.

But that's not how it works.

The heart is foolish, and so is the human mind. That's why he can't solve math problems either.

You're almost perfect in every way—handsome, rich, smart, and even a good person. Yes, you have flaws, but they can be overlooked. Yet, despite your perfection, I've realized one thing.

I don't deserve you. Someone else does—someone better.

I looked at the sky and noticed it was gradually getting brighter. I picked up Yuri's cellphone, but it was dead. I didn't want to wake him, but we had to leave.

"Yuri..." I called softly, patting him. "...Wake up."

His body was still warm, so I knew he still had a fever. He moaned slightly and shifted in his seat. Slowly, he opened his eyes.

"Come on... The rain has stopped," I said.

I stood up first to help him. He felt heavier than before—maybe he had been trying not to burden me earlier, but now, with his fever, he couldn't do that anymore.

We continued walking, much slower than before. The sky brightened completely, and I could see the dirt on both of us—a mixture of mud, dust, and wounds.

"Jay... Let's rest. I'm dizzy," he murmured, and I immediately stopped.

I helped him sit on a broken log. His face was flushed, and his eyes struggled to stay open. I touched his forehead and felt that he was burning up—his fever had worsened.

"Can you keep going?" I asked hesitantly.

He smiled weakly, trying to reassure me. "I'll be fine... just a little rest."

I sat beside him and leaned his head against my shoulder. Every breath he took was deep—I could feel it, hear it.

Please don't get worse.

Suddenly, my stomach growled. He raised an eyebrow and looked at me.

"I haven't eaten since last night," I said, smiling.

He chuckled softly. "We'll eat when we get back."

I nodded. Now that I thought about it, I was really hungry. If this went on much longer, I might get sick too.

Yuri rested his head on my shoulder again. Silence settled between us. I didn't want to disturb him while he was resting.

"You know..." he finally broke the silence. "...Hahaoya never wanted me to get sick." He smiled.

"It's always about your mom," I muttered.

"Do all mothers do what she did?"

I was caught off guard. I didn't know how to answer because I had never experienced that kind of care from my own mother—except for that one time when she found out about the marriage talks.

He lifted his head from my shoulder and looked away. I wanted to think he was just delusional from the fever, but I knew he wasn't.

"The Hanamitchi family is well-known in Japan. Aside from being closely related to the Minister of Japan, they own many businesses. They even have their own island."

That overwhelming feeling of suddenly becoming smaller. Just when you think the person beside you is already wealthy, you find out there's an entirely different level of richness.

"...Because of their reputation, they never accepted my mother. Aside from being half-Filipino, her family was also unknown. It hurt her that every little thing she did brought shame to the clan. And it hurt her even more to know that her chances of getting pregnant were slim."

I listened quietly. He hadn't experienced what his mother went through, but I could tell he felt her pain.

"...So when I was born, she took extra care of me. Hahaoya never left the house, just to make sure I was safe. They said I brought them luck when I was born." He took a deep breath. "...They took better care of me. I was like a prince, but never placed on a throne. I'm the only heir of the Hanamitchi Clan."

The only heir? What about Yoichi?

"...Yoichi was just adopted," he said, and I was stunned.

"W-what?"

"She was adopted to fill a gap in the family. One of us has to marry into the pure-blooded Yakuza clan. She's still a distant relative, but the connection is weak."

Damn!

I thought my situation was bad, but hers is even worse. She's still so young, yet they've already arranged her marriage.

Of course, Yuri can't marry anyone else because he's already engaged to me, so Yoichi has to take his place.

"Is our life complicated?" he asked with a forced smile.

"A little... I just don't understand why your mom dislikes Ella. Her life seems much more stable than mine."

Hello? I'm from a broken family!

He didn't respond. Instead, he stood up and started walking again. I immediately followed to support him. We continued in silence. I had the feeling he was hiding something from me.

The sound of water splashing grew louder—we were close to the river where we swam. I glanced at Yuri and saw how exhausted he looked.

I stopped immediately. "Let's rest first. Your fever might get worse."

He didn't answer. He leaned against a tree, closed his eyes, and took slow, labored breaths. Sweat dripped from his forehead.

"We're almost—"

"Jay." He cut me off. "...I did something wrong to you."

I looked at him, waiting for him to say something—something that would make my heart beat faster. I was starting to tremble, but not from hunger.

"Grandpa didn't arrange our wedding," he said, confusing me even more. "Angelo refused Grandpa Non's offer. That old man didn't believe in second chances, so the offer was immediately withdrawn..." He looked away and took a deep breath. "But when I heard that Fer Corp was about to collapse, I made the offer to Angelo myself."

I took a step back, my mind swirling with questions. I tried to make sense of his words.

"W-what...?"

"I was the one who arranged our marriage in exchange for help from Angelo's company. Because no one could refuse what I wanted, they agreed. Even though Hahaoya didn't want you, he forced it."

Tears fell from my eyes on their own. "B-but you said before... Y-you couldn't stop the marriage. Y-you said they were the ones who wanted it."

"I-I lied to you. I'm sorry."

"I-I don't understand... Why did you do that?"

"Because I love you, and I couldn't lose to Keifer again," he answered quickly. "...I wanted to save you from him too."

I wiped my tears away. My emotions were all over the place, but anger took over. I couldn't understand why he had to be so selfish.

I shook my head and looked him directly in the eyes. "No. That's not love."

"No, please don't say that."

"You're just afraid of stepping on your ego!" I tried to calm myself. "...You're just scared of being humiliated again for the same reason."

"No, it's not like that."

"Alright! If you really love me, why are you still affected by Ella?" I challenged him.

He looked away and didn't answer. I was right! He still had feelings for Ella.

Even though I felt sorry for him, my anger remained. He tied me to something that would last forever, without even considering my feelings.

And me? Like a fool, afraid of what might happen if I refused, I immediately agreed—without certainty.

Damn it! You're stupid, Jay!

I was overwhelmed by what I had just learned—about Ella, about the deception, about the forced marriage. This was driving me insane!

Suddenly, I heard voices nearby. I froze, and Yuri and I looked up at the same time, realizing someone was close.

"Someone's here!" I shouted.

I started running, but when I heard Yuri's loud cry, I immediately turned back. I had forgotten that he couldn't walk properly.

Supporting him, I helped him move slowly.

"HELP! SOMEONE'S HERE!" I shouted, hoping they would find us. "HELP US!"

The voices grew louder, meaning they were getting closer. I felt a sense of relief. We would be saved. I just wanted to eat and sleep.

"Here!" someone shouted.

I was about to call out again when Yuri suddenly grabbed my face. Everything happened so fast.

He kissed me!

I pushed him away slightly, but it had no effect. I couldn't shove him hard because of his injured leg. He eventually pulled back on his own—maybe when he realized I didn't reciprocate his feelings.

I raised an eyebrow, glaring at him. I was about to lash out, but then I noticed the person standing next to us. My heart stopped. It felt like I had died on the spot.

K-Keifer.

He stood there, glaring at us with pure rage. His fists were clenched, and before I could say anything, he turned around and ran off.

"K-Keifer..." I called out, stepping forward, but he didn't stop.

Shit!

I immediately ran after him but halted when I saw someone else approaching.

"Jay! Finally... We found you!" Felix said.

But I couldn't take my eyes off Keifer. I had to chase him. I had to explain everything.

"G-go to Yuri! He's over there!" I pointed in the direction we had come from.

I didn't wait for their response—I took off running after Keifer. Hunger and exhaustion no longer mattered.

I wasn't disappointed—I found him standing under a tree. I slowly approached him.

"Keifer..." I called.

Suddenly, he punched the tree trunk so hard that it shook, and leaves rained down.

I swallowed nervously.

"I'll pretend I didn't see anything," he muttered before walking away.

I wasn't sure if that was a good thing, but fear and dread filled me.