Chapter 185 - Complicated

Jay-Jay's POV

"Love my son."

Shit! What Yuri's mommy said feels like a broken plate smashing inside my brain. Seriously?! She's the one telling me to love her son.

I'm still confused, and to make matters worse, Keifer isn't answering my calls. He hasn't come home yet. I'm starting to worry, and my mind is now a mess—filled with all kinds of thoughts.

It's like a chaotic mix.

I heard someone knock on the door. I was about to open it, but it swung open on its own, and Aunt Gema entered.

She looked anxious and disheveled. She pushed the door open and faced me.

"Hmm?"

"Jay... uhmm... W-what… B-because..." she stammered.

I had no idea what was wrong, but it was obvious she wanted to say something. She kept fidgeting nervously, as if holding something in.

Pffttttt… Don't laugh!

"Why? Is there a problem?" I asked.

She took a deep breath. "Jay… your grandmother is in the living room."

I immediately smiled upon hearing that. I missed Grandma so much. I wasn't able to visit her during the retreat because the organizers didn't allow me.

Whatever the reason for her visit, I was just happy to see her again. But my smile gradually faded when I noticed that the anxious look on Aunt Gema's face hadn't disappeared.

"A-Aunt Gema?"

"Your m-mom is with her… and… the man she's going to marry."

It felt like the sky had fallen on me. Really? She decided to come today, of all days, when I was already feeling overwhelmed?

Nice!

"Auntie… I-I don't feel well. I'm not leaving this room," I muttered before immediately lying down and pulling the blanket over me.

Aunt Gema sat beside me and shook me slightly. "That's not an option… You have to face your mother."

I quickly threw off the blanket and looked at her pleadingly. I didn't want to see my mother—especially not today when my mind was already a mess.

"I don't want to."

"Jay-jay… They'll be staying here, so you'll see each other anyway."

Damn it!

What kind of day is this? A day of endless bad luck? Ugh, so annoying!

I had no energy to stand up, but Auntie smiled at me and gave me a reassuring hug. Eventually, we left the room and headed straight to the living room. The moment I saw Grandma, my heart warmed, and I smiled.

"Apo…" she called out, opening her arms to hug me.

I rushed into her embrace, holding her tightly, trying to make up for the days we hadn't seen each other.

"I missed you, Grandma," I whispered.

"I missed you too, my dear," she replied, squeezing me tighter.

"That's sweet… I hope you'd hug Mama like that too."

The happiness in my chest instantly vanished the moment I heard that voice. I didn't want to let go of Grandma's hug because, honestly, I wasn't ready to face her yet.

Slowly, I turned to look at her. She was smiling at me—a smile I couldn't return. A smile I wished I could erase from her face.

"Jay-jay, my daughter…" she called, waiting for a hug. "...Mama is waiting."

Then keep waiting.

I glanced at Grandma and Aunt Gema. My older brother, Kuya Angelo, also gestured for me to come closer to Mom. I had no choice but to give her a brief hug.

The first thing that hit me was her perfume—it smelled different from what I remembered. Or maybe it had just been so long since I was last with her that I couldn't recall.

Looking at her now, it seemed like nothing had changed. In fact, she looked even younger and more beautiful. I could clearly see how much I resembled her.

But I quickly pulled away. I didn't know why, but I couldn't bring myself to stay close to her for too long. It was as if my body resisted it. I immediately returned to Aunt Gema's side.

Mom looked surprised, but she quickly masked it with a smile. "How have you been? I haven't heard much from you."

"I-I'm fine…" I answered shortly.

"And your studies? How are they going?"

Don't ask that!

"I-it's fine too."

I knew she was waiting for me to say more, but I didn't want to. I didn't want to share anything with her. Silence filled the room.

Suddenly, a man entered through the door, drawing everyone's attention. He was holding a paper bag.

"Hon!" Mom called out, leading him towards us. "...This is my daughter."

What?! What the hell?!

My heart pounded. A strange fear crept over me for no reason. I instinctively clung to Aunt Gema, and I knew she could feel me trembling.

The man smiled and handed me the paper bag. "This is for you."

I don't want it!

I looked at Aunt Gema, silently asking, Should I accept it? She squeezed my hand and nodded.

Reluctantly, I reached out and took the bag. Mom beamed when she saw me accept it, but I didn't even bother looking inside. I just hurried back to Aunt Gema's side.

"Jay-jay… He's going to be your Papa. We're getting married," Mom announced happily, holding onto the man's arm.

"…Congratulate your Papa Andy."

Andy extended his hand towards me. "Nice to meet you, Jay-jay."

That was something I absolutely wouldn't do. My heart refused to accept it. And now they expected me to shake hands with him?! I clung to Aunt Gema even tighter.

"Jay-jay," Kuya Angelo called. "...At least get to know him."

There was authority in Kuya's voice, and I knew I had no way out. I didn't realize Mom had stepped closer until she suddenly grabbed me by both arms, forcing me towards Andy.

"M-Mama…" I tried to stop her, but she was determined.

She pulled me right in front of Andy, and as expected, he looked surprised. Well, that made two of us. This was just how I was—I couldn't help it.

"Get to know your Uncle Andy properly," Mom insisted.

Why me?! You do it! Just introduce us properly and let it be!

I looked at Mom, and I could see the irritation on her face. Yeah, I knew I was pissing her off, but I couldn't help it. This whole situation made me uneasy.

I had no choice.

"I-I'm Jay-jay… T-thank you for this," I muttered, barely audible.

"You're welcome… Just let me know if you need anything," Andy replied kindly.

"S-sure, sir."

He smiled and reached out his hand to pat my arm. The moment his palm touched me, an electric shock-like sensation ran through my body. My hand instinctively shot up, pushing his hand away.

Shit! Don't touch me!

My heart is pounding. The fear is back, and I feel like something bad is about to happen.

"Jay-Jay!" Mama shouted. "What are you doing?! Why did you do that?!"

Auntie immediately rushed to my side and supported me. "Are you okay?"

I couldn't answer. I dropped the paper bag I was holding and hugged myself. My eyes darted around the room restlessly.

I don't understand, but the fear I feel is overwhelming.

"Jay… what's going on with you?" Grandma asked.

"Mom! Please take Jay-Jay to her room first," Kuya Angelo ordered.

Auntie Gema helped me to my room. Even though we were far from Mama, I still felt uneasy. As soon as we entered, she quickly closed the door. I sat on the bed, staring at nothing.

"Are you okay? What happened? Did someone hurt you? Did you remember something?" she asked, one question after another.

I just shook my head, still staring blankly. Her questions confused me, but my fear overpowered everything. I know I've felt this way before, but I don't know when or why. It's strange—so strange. I feel like a little child afraid of being punished.

"Jay-Jay… please talk to me," Auntie pleaded. "Tell me what you're feeling."

I'm scared.

This is exactly how I felt when I met someone who introduced himself as Tony dela Cruz. It's almost the same. Even though I didn't know him, my body refused to move toward him.

A loud knock jolted me from my thoughts. The door swung open, and Mama stood there, furious.

"Why did you do that to your Uncle Andy?!" she demanded, pointing at me. "That was humiliating! I told them you were a good girl, and then you embarrassed him!"

"Jeana, try to understand Jay-Jay," Auntie Gema defended me.

Mama's angry glare shifted to her. "Understand?! She humiliated Andy in front of everyone! And you want me to be understanding?!"

"The girl is going through something!" Auntie insisted. "You can't just ignore that!"

"Don't lecture me about my daughter!"

"I'm not trying to lecture you!"

The two of them kept arguing, their voices growing louder. My eyes filled with tears. The one who wasn't my mother was the one who understood me. Why was that?

"Can you leave the room for a moment? I need to talk to my daughter," Mama said firmly.

"I'm sorry, but I won't leave Jay-Jay," Auntie said boldly.

Mama sighed, her expression filled with frustration and pain. Instead of arguing further, she stepped past Auntie and sat across from me.

"Jay… daughter," she said gently. "You need to accept your Uncle Andy. After we get married, we'll be living together, at least for a while. At least until you marry Yuri."

Wow. Wow, magic sing!

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. It was easy for her to say, but so difficult for me to accept. She even mentioned Yuri. She even brought up a marriage she agreed to without my permission.

Amazing!

As my tears fell, so did my patience.

"You can leave my room now," I said calmly.

"Jay-Jay," Auntie Gema called my name softly.

I looked at Mama, and I saw the shock in her eyes. I never wanted to be rude, especially to her. But I couldn't contain my anger anymore.

"Leave. I'm telling you to go."

"Why are you talking to me like this?!" she demanded. "Is this what they've been teaching you?!"

"Don't ask questions. Just leave!" I shouted.

"Jay-Jay!" Auntie Gema scolded me, but I didn't back down.

"Don't yell at me! You might forget who you are!"

I glared at her. "I know exactly who I am! But if you don't leave, I might forget who you are!"

Against her will, she finally left my room. As soon as the door shut, my tears flowed freely. Auntie Gema immediately pulled me into a comforting hug.

"Ssshhh… Jay-Jay," she whispered, rubbing my back and hair.

"W-why? Why don't I feel happy to see her?"

Auntie's hug tightened, but she didn't answer. I continued crying, and deep inside, I knew she felt the same way I did. She was the one who acted like my mother.

When I finally exhausted my tears, Auntie let me rest. I wanted to sleep and wake up to find them all gone.

It was almost afternoon when I woke up. I didn't want to get up, but my head was starting to hurt. I could hear voices and laughter outside. They were still here.

My shoulders slumped as I walked straight to the bathroom. I took a long shower—longer than usual. Being in the same house as her felt heavy.

I don't know why I'm like this. I used to long to see her—back when I was in the hospital. I had convinced myself that relying on her would only hurt. The longer I stayed with Grandma, the less I depended on her.

And it hurt even more when someone came to tell us that Mama had been arrested. I refused to go see her. I didn't want to witness her in that state. When people asked about her, I had nothing to say because I never saw her anymore.

And little by little, I realized—I don't know her anymore. I don't know my own mother. I only know her by name, and I call her "Mama" because I have to.

Tears mixed with the water from the shower. Frustrating. I don't want to cry. It's exhausting. It's pathetic. It makes me look weak.

I bowed my head, trying to stifle my sobs. But I couldn't. The years of bottled-up pain were spilling over.

Memories came rushing back—the days I sat at Grandma's door, waiting. It was my birthday, and I hoped she would come, even if it was just to say "Happy Birthday." No gifts, no celebration, just her presence.

Christmas and New Year's—I wrapped gifts for her, waiting. But she never came. So, I gave them to Grandma instead. The times when I was sick, and all I wanted was her.

And the memory that hurt the most—the day she visited our house. I didn't expect much, but when Grandma texted me that she was there, I rushed home. I skipped my last class just to see her.

But when I arrived, she had already left.

It was as if she was avoiding me on purpose. As if she didn't want to see me.

That was the day I stopped believing she would ever come back for me. That was the day I lost faith in her.

I sank to the floor, knees aching. I didn't want to sob out loud—if they heard me, they'd worry. But every breath felt heavy, like I was suffocating.

Why is this happening to me? What did I do wrong?

I no longer have a father. Why do I have to lose my mother too? Why do I have to rely on strangers to feel the love of a family—people I never expected to be in my life?

Damn it all.

I forced myself to get a grip. I was soaked, and at any moment, I knew Auntie would knock to check on me.

I quickly dried off and got dressed. But when I opened the door, my annoyance flared up again.

Mama was standing there—rummaging through my cabinet.

"What are you doing?" I asked, my voice serious.

She faced me, smiling while holding a dress. "You finally finished showering… I've been waiting for you for a while."

I raised an eyebrow. "Oh?"

She didn't answer. Instead, she kept holding my dress and faced the mirror, pressing it against her body as if she were shopping for clothes at the market.

"Something wrong?" she asked.

I couldn't say no—it suited her better. Mama was tall with a beautiful figure. Who would have thought she had two children? It wasn't surprising that so many men still liked her.

"Is that all you came here for?" I asked, stopping her.

She tried to smile, but the plasticity of it showed. "I came to pick out a dress for you—for our family dinner."

Family dinner?

"So, we're a family now?" I asked sarcastically.

She looked at me intently. Maybe, aside from her looks, I inherited her attitude too. She wasn't the type to fake things. If she was angry—she was angry. If she didn't want something—she didn't want it. And if she had to fight—she was ready.

She placed the dress on the bed and slowly approached me, stopping just inches away while keeping her gaze locked on mine.

"Jay-Jay… I'm trying to make up for my shortcomings as your mother. But if you disrespect me, even if you're 17, I'll still discipline you the way I know how. Do you understand?" she said calmly.

I didn't respond. I simply stared back at her. I had no intention of hitting her. I also didn't want to lose whatever respect I had left for her.

"I'm not coming to your dinner. Thank you," I said, walking past her toward my closet.

I grabbed some home clothes—a t-shirt and shorts. I knew she was still standing in my room, so I pretended to fix my torn clothes.

"Okay…" she sighed. "...We're not going out. We'll have the family dinner here at home."

She didn't wait for my response. Just as I turned around, she opened the door and left. Nice. She always insists on getting what she wants.

I threw the t-shirt I was holding onto the bed in frustration. If only they would stop staying here. Lying on my bed, I stared at the ceiling.

I wanted to appreciate Mama's face, but a big part of me felt angry every time I saw her. She still looked so young. After all, she was only 16 when she got pregnant with Kuya, then 17 when she had me.

She's only 34!

That explains everything. I took a deep breath. This wasn't how I expected our reunion to be.

A knock on the door interrupted my thoughts. I immediately stood up. The door slowly opened, revealing Andy—Mama's new husband.

My eyebrows instantly furrowed. Just his presence irritated me. I didn't want him in this house.

"H-Hi…" he greeted hesitantly. "...Can I come in?"

"If I say 'no,' will you still come in?" I asked sarcastically.

He chuckled awkwardly, clearly trying to stay cheerful. "I just wanted to ask what you'd like for dinner. We'll order takeout."

I raised an eyebrow. "Why are you asking me? Am I the only one eating?"

He bowed slightly, looking embarrassed. I could tell he wasn't used to this. I wondered how much patience he had and what he'd do when he finally lost it.

"Not at all… I just want to hear your opinion too," he said seriously.

"Anything… as long as it's edible," I replied, bored.

He looked confused. Maybe he didn't know the meaning of "eatable." I'd heard that word from Ci-N before—it comes from "ear" and means edible.

"Alright… I'll let your mom know," he answered.

I thought he was going to leave, but he remained standing at the door. I stared at him, hoping he'd take the hint and go. But he didn't move, as if he had more to say.

"Do you need anything else?" I asked.

He sighed and lowered his head slightly. "Look… I know I'm special to you—"

"Good that you know," I interrupted, pretending to be pleased.

The shyness in his expression disappeared. I could tell I was getting under his skin. I looked directly at him, waiting for him to snap.

Let's see, Andy.

"I'm trying to understand your situation here. I don't expect you to like me as your father, but at least learn the word 'respect,'" he said seriously.

I smirked. That's it? Was he angry? I knew there was more to it, and I wanted to see it.

I stood up and looked at him, unimpressed. "Respect? I never learned that word," I said with an obviously fake smile. "...And as for liking you as my father? I don't think so. I have a father, and his name is Jasfher."

He didn't say anything. He simply nodded, forcing a smile. I didn't want to be rude, but I couldn't help it. I didn't want to say something hurtful, but I already had. I didn't want him to feel unwanted, but I truly didn't want him here.

"We'll call you when dinner is ready," he said before finally leaving.

I knew I'd get scolded for what I did. I should probably prepare myself—especially for Kuya Angelo's nagging.

They won't understand me anyway, so it doesn't matter.

I'll get my ears ready.