Chapter 3: "Hunting the Slug... That's Hunting Me, or Why Revenge Is a Dish Best Served Cold and Slimy"
Part 1: The Morning That No One Was Waiting For, Except for the Bearded Sadist
The sun of Terra Infernum, resembling a giant moldy olive, was just beginning to rise when a boulder flew into my hut. Not a metaphorical one - a real one, weighing half a kilo, with the engraving "Good morning from Grognard".
"GET UP, LAZY BONE!" a voice thundered behind the door, making even the cockroaches in the cracks tremble. "YOUR PICKAXE WILL RUST FROM YOUR LAZINESS!"
I opened my eye slightly, staring at the ceiling, decorated with cobwebs and the inscription "Bob was here" in the language of ancient miners. The system, as always, helpfully highlighted the menu:
[Status:
— Lack of sleep (-30% to agility)
— Hunger (-15% to strength)
— Existential crisis (+50% to sarcasm)]
— Grognard, I killed a tactician slug yesterday! — I tried to insert at least a drop of dignity into my voice.
— Killed a slug? — The door swung open, letting in a bearded lump of muscle. — Congratulations. Now you're a hero among mollusks. Maybe you'll ask them to knock you a statue out of mother-of-pearl?
He threw rusty shackles at me:
— Today you'll be cleaning the "Soul of the Mountain".
[Received quest: "Cleaning the Guild Monument"
Description:
— Scrape off 500 years of mold
— Don't ask questions
Reward:
— Respect (minimum)
— Chance of not being thrown into the "Throat of Tartarus")]
Grognar left, leaving me with a pickaxe and a feeling of deep injustice. The system, like a cherry on the cake, added:
[New title: "Dreamer in the Slime World" - your dreams now taste like lemon jelly.]
Part 2: "Soul of the Mountain" and the philosophy of rust
The "Soul of the Mountain" monument turned out to be a giant pickaxe stuck into a platform of bones. The inscription at the foot read: _"To those who dug deeper than reason allowed"_. Rusty chain links covered it like parasites.
"Hey, Akki!" Lyra, sitting on a broken column, threw me a scraper. "Here. Without this, you'll only scratch the surface."
[Received: Scraper of Despair (epic)
Properties:
— "+100% to efficiency" (but -200% to mood)
— "Whispers of the ancestors" - you hear the groans of past cleaners]
"Thank you," I muttered, scraping something moving off the monument. "Why me?"
— Because you're new, — Lyra jumped down, her pickaxe leaving a smile-shaped crack in the stone. — And also because Grognard is betting 10 coppers on you. He says you won't last a week.
The first hour of cleaning brought revelations:
1. The rust here is intelligent. It hid in the cracks, giggling with blue lights.
2. The bones at the base are not decoration. When touched, they whispered: _"Run while you can"_.
3. The system decided that this was a great time to level up:
[The "Cleaning" skill has reached level 5!
Special skill: "Housewife's Tear" - enemies lose motivation when they see your hard work.]
By noon, I reached the core of the monument. Under the layer of soot was a mosaic of miners fighting... a giant slime. The system froze, then said:
[Secret discovered: "First Slime War" (1/7)
Warning! Slime activity increased by 300%.]
Grognar, who appeared out of nowhere, laughed hoarsely:
- So, hero? Ready for some real work?
Part 3: Tactical Rematch, or How I Became a Target for a Mollusk
The shift in the mine began with a nightmare. The air trembled from a strange hum, and the shadows writhed, as if trying to warn of danger. The first sign of trouble was... the smell. Sweet, like rotten mango, with an admixture of sulfur.
"Akki," Toran, usually unperturbed, squeezed my shoulder. "Don't go down to the eastern tunnels today. The stones are crying bloody dew."
But the system had already highlighted the task:
**[Urgent quest: "The Root of the Problem"
Objective: Destroy the source of the anomaly
Reward:
— Pickaxe "Tears of Hades"
— Answer to the question "Why me?")]**
The eastern tunnel was breathing. The walls were pulsating like the throat of a giant. And then I saw HIM.
**[Monster: Avenging Slime (Level 15)
Features:
— "Ancestral Memory" (remembers all your past kills)
— "Slime Mimicry" (copies your skills)
— Weakness: sense of humor (???) ]**
The slime was the size of a cart, its body shimmering with a poisonous emerald. On its "forehead" was a scar in the shape of my pickaxe.
"FOR... BROTHER..." it hissed, its voice creaking like unlubricated gears.
"Ow..." I slowly retreated. "Listen, it was self-defense!
The answer was a shot of an acid spike. I jumped behind a stalagmite, which instantly dissolved.
**[Damage: -20 HP]
[Effect: "Dissolved Illusions" - you realize that your chances of winning are zero.]**
The battle turned into an absurd dance:
- **I** throw a handful of sand - **he** reflects it with a wall of slime.
- **He** summons clones - **I** activate "Hate for Stones", collapsing the ceiling.
- **The system** gives advice:
[Try hugging him! (Chance of success: 0.01%)]
At the climax, the Avenging Slime absorbed the light crystal, turning into a shining behemoth. Its body was covered in runes:
[Activated: "Slime Theurgy" - transforming matter into a nightmare.]
And then I remembered - the "Memory Crystal" from the last battle. I pulled it out and threw it at the monster's feet.
[Crystal activated! Playing back memories...]
Part 4: Tears of a Mollusk, or a Story No One Wanted to Hear
The slug's memories were... touching.
_Scene one:_ Two tiny slugs, Az and Zet, crawl through a cave. They collect shiny stones, dreaming of building a "Palace of Eternal Dampness".
_Scene two:_ Adult slugs. Az studies ancient frescoes, Zet trains his combat tentacles. Their goal is to stop people destroying sacred caves.
_Scene three:_ My pickaxe, plunging into Zet. His last look is not hatred, but sadness.
**[Discovered: "Slime Civilization" (3%)
New status: "Dreamer Killer" - slugs feel your guilt.]**
The Avenging Slug froze, trembling. A tear glinted in his eyes (if you could call it that)... or a drop of acid.
"I'M SORRY..." I breathed out, aiming my pickaxe at the crystal on his back. "THIS WORLD IS HELL FOR EVERYONE."
Strike. An explosion of light. The slime crumbled into a million glittering fragments, leaving behind only:
**[Royal Slime Pearl (legendary)
Properties:
- "+50 to charisma against shellfish"
- "Pain of Loss" - once a day you can summon a slime ghost for help.]**
### Part 5: After the Battle: Bathhouse, Beer, and Existential Crises
I was greeted as a hero at the Drunken Dwarf camp — that is, they threw a mug of beer at me. Grognard was sitting by the fire, cleaning his monster pickaxe:
"So, Slime Warrior?" He handed me a roasted scorpion. "Now you're officially a problematic newbie."
Lyra grinned, examining the pearl:
"You know what this is? The key to the Slime Catacombs." She twirled the artifact in her fingers. "They say that's where the source of their intelligence is. The Slime Consciousness."
Toran added gloomily:
"And every 100 years, someone awakens it. Usually..." He looked at me. "...newbies."
The system, as if waiting for the right moment, issued:
**[Main quest updated: "End of the cycle"
Objective: Destroy the Slime Consciousness
Warning:
— Chance of survival: 0.7%
— Reward: Rewriting reality)]**
I sighed, looking at the pearl. In its depths, a tiny silhouette flickered - the ghost of the slime Aza, nodding to me.
"Okay," I said, finishing my beer with the taste of defeat. "But first... where's the shower?"
### Part 6: Glossary of Underground Madness (side notes)
_From Akka's diary:_
1. **Survival Rule #5:** If a monster remembers your crimes, either kill it forever or become its therapist.
2. **System Philosophy:** Anything that doesn't kill gives experience. But more often than not, it just kills.
3. **Guild Secret:** "Soul of the Mountain" is not a monument. It is a castle hiding those who have dug too deep.
4. **Grognar's Truth:** The best defense against slimes is to have no dreams. But if you do... dig deeper.