Shattered Will, Fragile Hope

Clara stood before me, silent, waiting.

Waiting for my command.

I could tell her to do anything right now, and she wouldn't hesitate. If I told her to strip, she would. If I told her to kneel, she'd obey without question. If I told her to open her legs and offer herself to me, she wouldn't even flinch.

She wouldn't even think about refusing.

But I wouldn't do that.

Not because I wasn't tempted. Clara was stunning—her beauty easily rivaled the top actresses of my past world. Every feature was delicate, perfectly sculpted, meant to entice. But that wasn't the point.

She wasn't really here.

The woman in front of me was a husk—a puppet with severed strings, existing only to follow orders. Nathan had broken her completely, turned her into a lifeless doll that responded only to the master's voice.

And I wasn't Nathan.

If I wanted her as a weapon, then our current relationship was enough. A tool that followed orders without question—perfect for dealing with the protagonist of this world. But a weapon without will...

That kind of loyalty wasn't real.

Just because she obeyed me didn't mean she didn't hate me.

There was always a chance that deep down, beneath the layers of obedience, she was still waiting for her chance. A single moment of weakness. One opening, and she could turn against me.

And I wouldn't even see it coming.

From Nathan's memory I knew she had been intelligent once. A girl with quick wit, sharp instincts—someone who had a great future. If even a fragment of that intelligence still remained, I couldn't afford to let it go to waste.

I didn't need a doll.

I needed an ally.

Would she ever become one? I didn't know. But I had to try.

I exhaled, dragging a hand through my hair. There's so much to fix.

With that thought, I rose to my feet and turned toward the door.

"Follow me."

She moved instantly, her steps small and measured as she trailed behind me into the corridor. Her head remained lowered, her hands clasped before her, shoulders tense like she was bracing for something.

That was when I noticed it.

The slight way she flinched every time I looked at her.

Even though I hadn't spoken, hadn't moved toward her, hadn't done anything—just the weight of my gaze was enough to make her body lock up, her breath hitch ever so slightly.

That must have been her first trigger. My eyes.

For someone who had endured long-term abuse, certain things would bring back that fear instantly—memories burned so deep into the body that even the hint of them was enough to send a person spiraling.

For Clara, my gaze alone was enough to put her on edge. No matter what expression I made, she saw only one thing.

A predator.

Her second trigger was this room.

Nathan had been an idiot, but he wasn't a complete fool. He knew there were limits—boundaries he couldn't cross unless he wanted to face severe consequences. Clara wasn't a normal servant, she was a prodigy. If his treatment of her had ever reached the wrong ears, the consequences would have been disastrous.

So he kept it all here.

Within the confines of his room.

Every cruelty, every torment—it had all happened behind closed doors, where no one else could see.

That meant this space, these walls, this room—any enclosed place with me—would only make her worse.

If I wanted to rebuild her, I needed to start outside.

As I stepped into the open with Clara trailing behind me, I felt their eyes.

Every servant, every knight, every passing noble—each one glared at me with open disdain, their disgust laid bare. They weren't even trying to hide it today.

Because behind me, Clara walked with her head bowed.

Her silence had become absolute. She no longer spoke unless ordered. No longer met anyone's eyes. The moment someone had raised their voice—even slightly—her entire body would tremble, as if expecting another blow.

On Earth, I wouldn't have stood a chance of fixing something like this. A person's mind wasn't so easily restored once it had been shattered. But here, in Estroma, the impossible could become reality. With training, magic, and mana cultivation, even mental strength could grow.

Would that be enough to heal her completely? Probably not. Trauma wasn't something that could be erased, no matter how much power a person gained. But if she became stronger—if she found her own will again—she could be more than just a hollow doll following my commands.

After Selene, she was the only person left in this estate I could pin my survival on.

As those thoughts lingered in my mind, I arrived at the isolated noble training hall—a secluded courtyard meant for the estate's privileged to hone their skills. I had chosen this isoated place for a reason. I had no idea how Clara would react if someone other than me gave her an order. In her current state, anyone could manipulate her, take advantage of her.

I couldn't let that happen.

Nathan's knowledge of magic was pathetic. But I knew the basics from the game.

Just like Earth had oxygen, nitrogen, and carbon dioxide in its atmosphere, this world had mana particles—various elemental energies floating in the air. The type of mana a person could resonate with determined their magical abilities.

Clara's affinity was fire.

Unlike most commoners, who barely sensed mana, she had been an exception—an outlier. While most sensed their mana between ten and twelve, Clara had felt her first connection at just eight years old.

A rare case where a non-noble possessed an affinity strong enough to rival highborn elites.

Before Nathan destroyed her, she had even received basic training in mana perception. I was counting on that now.

I turned to her. "Clara, sit."

Without hesitation, she dropped to her knees, as if the words had physically pushed her down.

"Not on your knees. Sit in lotus position." I corrected her.

She briefly hesitated before adjusting her posture.

I can tell she's wondering why I'm giving her an unrelated order… and what consequences might follow.

"You still remember how to sense fire mana, don't you?"

She gave a small nod, her gaze never rising from the ground.

"Good. Now, focus on your surroundings and guide the mana inward, toward your heart. Let it flow and form a circle there. From the heart, allow the mana to flow along your blood vessels, circulating it throughout your body."

Another nod. "…Yes, Master."

"I'll be leaving for a few hours," I said. "When I return, I want you to tell me your progress."

"…Yes, Master."

She was answering with the same monotone "yes, Master"—like anything else would have severe consequences. With a quiet sigh, I turned and walked away.

But I didn't leave.

Instead, I positioned myself where she couldn't see me and watched.

She would follow my order with absolute sincerity—I knew that much. Right now, my explanation was vague, incomplete. I wasn't a proper teacher, and I couldn't arrange one.

There were two reasons for that:

First: No one could teach her in this broken condition. She might start having a panic attack, thinking I'd punish her for talking to others.

Second: It was selfish, but I didn't want anyone finding out Clara's current situation. It would only complicate my life even more.

Still, if she could improve even a little, it would be a step forward.

I leaned against the stone wall, exhaling softly.

As I waited, I settled into a comfortable position, closed my eyes, and focused on resonating with the mana within myself.

Resonating with mana starts by sensing it.

But sensing mana in the atmosphere was never an easy task. First, I had to let go of my ego and allow my consciousness to spread into the environment. Only when my consciousness became one with the surroundings could I feel the mana particles swirling around me.

Nathan, like all other noble children, had received training to sense mana at a young age, but he had struggled greatly with it. By reliving his memories and experiences, I soon found myself entering a state of selflessness. All my thoughts dissolved, I lost awareness of my physical body, and I felt as though I was plummeting into an endless void.

And then, I felt it - the presence of diverse mana elements, remnants of the residual power left behind by gods and angels after their eternal battle against demons. The sheer multitude overwhelmed me, leaving me hesitant to even attempt a count.

At this stage, the mana elements would instinctively react to the person. For those with a higher resonance, mana particles would envelop the individual, much like a magnet attracting iron particles. In Clara's case, she would be surrounded by fire-element mana. But I sensed something... an invisible barrier encasing my body, obstructing the mana elements from reaching me. I attempted to force my way out of the barrier.

As soon as I tried to force my way out, I snapped back to normal, my meditative state shattered. I was jolted back into reality, and soon, exhaustion washed over me. My breathing grew ragged, my heart tightened, and I felt drained. Attempting to resonate with mana always exacted a heavy toll on both body and mind.

I glanced over at Clara, still seated in the same position. Having undergone the experience myself, I now understood the suffocating sensation it entailed. I couldn't help but wonder how she was keeping up with this.

I let out a heavy sigh, pushing aside my concerns. I couldn't afford to worry about her right now. This was necessary for my own survival, and for Clara's mental growth and strength.

I had too much to do, too much to fix. Yesterday, my head had nearly been blown off—I couldn't afford to keep acting reckless like that. Luck wouldn't always be on my side.

So I sat there, meticulously planning my next moves, while discreetly observing Clara from the shadows, waiting.