Disturbed

Arabella

The days went by in a blur. Today is Thursday. Vanessa is sitting on my couch, digging into her breakfast of coco pops and milk, with her Afro-perm in a curly bun atop her head, and she looks cozy. She lives next door, and ever since we were caught in a small dispute involving my drink being spiked three years ago, we have been nearly inseparable when I wasn't with Blake, that is.

Vanessa is to be married to a very promising wealthy family but insists on making a name for herself first before giving in to the shackles of marriage. Her words, not mine. She returned from a forced trip but honestly she looked ravishing.

She convinced me to start my own blog, where I write product reviews of self-care brands when we were getting to know ourselves then. To my surprise, my blog took off, and now I get a lot of free stuff to review and even have brand partnerships, which allow me to bring in some more money. But as nice as that all is, I wish it paid better more consistently.

My income keeps fluctuating, so there are months when I don't earn well and struggle to manage my bills. Months like this month. Vanessa always wants to help but I can't allow her because she refused money from her parents wanting to do this on her own, so we are practically of the same income caliber.

But I can't seem to think about those problems now when a more serious one is taking up all my energy. It is not just that I kissed Dimitri last Friday or that I skipped classes the last three days and blamed it on menstrual cramps, it is that I have managed to avoid telling Vanessa any of this. I have never kept such a big secret from her, let alone for a whopping seven days.

And it desperately wants to come out.

"Aren't you going to class?" she asks as she notices me as I pick up the bottle of Smirnoff Ice we had last night.

I Inhale deeply, pouring the last drop of liquid from the bottle into a coffee mug, and give in to the sting of the alcohol as an urgency to spill the beans about what happened. "I hugged Dimitri," I say, exhaling.

Vanessa's eyes bulge, her spoon hovering in front of her wide-open mouth.

"Then I kissed him," I added. She dropped the spoon of cereal she held minutes from her mouth back into her bowl, blinking her large gray eyes twice like she was processing the information.

Finally, she says, "What!" Her face falls seriously. "Wait, I am going to need a drink for this," she says as she takes a gulp of alcohol from my mug cup before dropping her bowl of cereal on my coffee table.

"That's why I wasn't going to class," I say, zipping my purple and black tote bag and then walking over to her. I perch on the arm of the couch, my black mini skirt rising an inch. "not because of cramps."

Vanessa processes the information, her gray eyes blinking twice. "What the fuck, Ara? Was it a sort of revenge or what? I mean, what the hell." She asks as she stands up walking over to my kitchen.

"First off, He's your professor. Or, shit. You do realize I only meant it as a joke, right? Whatever I said that day, I didn't mean it. I was only kidding!" Vanessa adds as she drops two cups of distilled water on my coffee table, turning her body to face me. "But to be fair, it was not a bad rebound choice, Ara." She teases.

Sighing, I shake my head, "It wasn't because of you." I lean back, my head hitting the wall.

"So why," she asks, giving me a cup of water to sober up.

"I don't know, I was being dumb plus he is my ex-boyfriend's elder brother."

"That worries you?" she says it like it is something sarcastic, which makes me look at her in amusement.

I dip my chin. "It's Blake."

"You mean The dead ass guy who cheated on you," she deadpans, folding her arms under her perky boobs, which I am always jealous of because of how gorgeous they look when she wears a bikini. "He's not the problem, Ara. Dimitri could get fired if you start anything with him."

Mirroring her posture, I say in my defense, "Well, it's not like He or I committed a crime. We're both adults."

Her brows rise, as she turns her head to the stack of books placed on the shelf. "Yeah, right. Tell that to the board of directors when Dimitri's career is on the line, Anya. You know professors are not allowed to have any affair with students." She says looking through my stack of books placed in the shelf.

I turn my face as Vanessa brings out the student handbook and continues listing out the rules guiding professor and student relationships. She read the strict rules and I felt worse about what I had done. I mean, He was only being a friend. But still, what was I thinking? I let my emotions get the best of me, and let them take advantage of me at a vulnerable moment.

"Okay, you're right. I messed up. I was weak, and my ego was bruised," I concede, sitting up straight. "But I can't miss any more classes. I have his class today on my schedule which means I have to see him today, and I don't know what to do."

Vanessa scratches her head, looking frustrated. "Okay, hear me out on this, just forget about the kiss," she suggests after some time. "As long as Dimitri doesn't bring up the subject, neither do you."

That sounded more like a warning than advice, but I nodded my head in agreement. "Okay."

She throws me a skeptical look, the kind my elder sister gives me when she suspects I have no intention of following her orders, and it makes me smile.

Vanessa makes it easy for me not to miss home, always being a constant guardian for me.

"Anyways, now that you're clear on that," she says, her expression shifting as she shifts on the couch, "there is another important thing we need to discuss

I raised my brow. "What is that ?"

"Our rent, Ara. We need to find another work that pays well." Throwing my head back. I groan. I hate thinking about spending money that I don't have currently. I take another gulp of the alcohol which stung my throat.

I could have called home. I mean to ask from my parents, but with my four younger siblings still living at home, their bakery back in Manhattan provides just enough to cover the bills and put food on the table. Only my two older siblings have decent jobs, and they have lives of their own.

And besides, just like Vanessa did, I promised my Mom and Dad I could handle myself here in New York that is why I was allowed to study here.

How can I ask for help now?

Vanessa drops her head back mistakenly hitting it on a surface. Fuck!" She rubs the back of her head and then looks at me with a hopeful expression. "I will think of something. Don't worry. We aren't getting kicked out."

I throw an arm around her shoulder, drawing her into a side hug. "It sucks that the asshole doesn't allow us as roommates. I'd have killed to live with you."

"It does suck," she says, leaning against me. "Would have solved half of our problems, too."

"We'll get through this." I plant a kiss on her temple before pulling away and picking up my bag. "Okay, I have to go. Wish me luck!"

Slinging my bag over my shoulder, I pick up the remaining water on the coffee table as I head for the door hoping it'll keep me from being sober.

"Bye," Vanessa says. Don't kiss your professor again," she says jokingly.

"No promises!" I call over my shoulder, spinning back to grin at her. Then I open the door and step out, readying myself to face Dimitri in class.

My stomach twists at the thought of seeing him, but it quickly tightens as questions pop into my head.

What if he is angry at me for kissing him?

What if he didn't like it?

And then a final question knots my stomach entirely: What if he did like it?