I am autistic, but I finally chose fame

"There was a moment in my life when it occurred to me to do something and use a gift that we autistic women have: observing human behavior. I have been a fan of Star Trek since I was 15 years old. But the character that I love to observe his behavior is the character of Spock, how he behaves because he speaks like that. Why do they consider him cold? If Spock were real, even if he were a human like us and not a half alien and half human as they created him, he would have Asperger Syndrome. And I say this because Aspergers by nature do not understand the rules of communication, they love to talk for several hours about their favorite subject, and what I see in Spock is that his favorite subject is to say the right and the wrong, that you have to obey the rules of Starfleet, talk with too much technicality, he has such a broad vocabulary that it is difficult to understand for those who do not know his "code". The first actor to give life to Spock spoke a lot about "emotional stupidity", to be honest, we autistics are so In our world it is almost impossible to understand or even identify an emotion. Something that caught my attention in the Star Trek reboot is that Spock's father (Sarek) told his son that emotions are more deeply rooted than humans, it is even so impressive that they can name them, or even identify their own, in this case, I saw it in Zachary Quinto's Spock, and since women with ASD can see human behavior to a certain extent, we can name them almost the same as those who are not ASD, but seeing the behavior of Spock in the reboot by J.J Abrahams, made me realize one thing: Spock would have Asperger's Syndrome, and if he didn't have this pathology, if he had a daughter, she would be an Asperger. Such a broad vocabulary, he spends his time talking about what matters to him and with so much technicality, it makes many lose patience with him with his reasoning, but he also has the ability to remain silent when he should be, because an Asperger can talk for hours but still remain silent at the right moments. Even though Spock doesn't show it, it's obvious that he wanted to feel understood, to be listened to, it wasn't for nothing that he spent his time talking about what he believed in. But of course, if the character were real, only he knew what he felt, only the creator of this character knew what he felt, because the creator knows his creation, knows his work. We can see it through the world he lived in, symbolically, it's the "world" that autistic people or those with Asperger's tell us we live in, his "world" is knowledge, wisdom, not letting yourself be carried away by emotions, always using reasoning and logic. Vulcan can be seen with such advanced wisdom and technology, aliens are created so that their way of life is always wisdom, reasoning and logic. From a very young age, Asperger's acquire a very broad vocabulary, they acquire technical terms as impressive as Spock had, but Spock and Asperger's have something in common, even if they don't admit it, autistic people: we want to have friends, which represents the human half of Spock, but we fight with ASD, which represents the other half that is "not human" that Spock has, the one that is "not normal" that is not "from the real world", it is a daily struggle, because to a certain point we want to be in the real world, but the "Spock" part is what pulls us, that is why, Zachary Quinto's Spock is the one who best represents Asperger's, that is why that is my conclusion: if Zachary Quinto's Spock were real, he would have Asperger's Syndrome."

_ Are you still writing? - said Amanda, his best friend, who is a powerful youtuber.

_ Of course I write! I love writing! It is my passion, I love star trek! for god's sake! if I didn't.....- Elaine kept talking, but after talking "a lot", she turned to look at Amanda- Amanda, how do you put up with me talking too much?

_ You're my best friend, you know I love being on Youtube talking about dog care tips, but for me, you're the most important thing.

_ It's not just that, you're very famous on Youtube, but you've managed to make sure no one knows you're my best friend, I've never understood that!

_ I know you've never liked crowds looking at you, so, out of consideration for you, but when you're ready, I'll show you off on my channel!

_ Thank you, you're very good, wait! The results are in. No! I won! I won! I won! I won! - after screaming and singing with joy, Elaine goes to collect her prize, which is enough money to pay for her degree in astronomy at one of the most prestigious universities in the world.

"Since I was a child, I loved to write, I was a collector of information, it was practically what they call "having habits that are necessary", in my case, being autistic, I really liked just reading about astronomy, it was something great to have to read and read and study, in my life, although I knew I was autistic, they only saw me as "strange", in no environment was I weird Welcome, it was as if I had no place anywhere, at school, I only had complaints and complaints from my classmates for not understanding "the rules of the normal world" and for my mania of only wanting to mix liquids, I practically had a scientific mind as a child, that's why I wanted to do it, but everything "strange", mysterious about what ASD is, I don't know why I did it, it's something very difficult to explain. With my teachers, they had the idea that I was an "isolated" person, that I didn't like being with people, that I only lived in "my world", but when I got to high school, I was increasingly able to get in touch with the real world. I loved the idea of ​​being an astronomer because of the beauty of the universe, the complexity of something so beautiful, that even though not everything has been discovered despite the great scientific advances, for me it's fascinating because it helps you see that you are something very small, whatever your personality, I wanted to discover more and more, and for example, in that career you can only study math, physics, and other exact sciences, and in my mind I was thinking: I'm not going to hang out with others on purpose, I'll only discuss with them the problems and issues of space sciences, so then I'll be well served, I'll be where I can only talk about my favorite subject, but of course, I also love to write. My best friend, Amanda, became a youtuber because her parents wanted her to be famous, as a child, for her love for dogs, and her innate ability to empathize with them and want to care for them with love, made her show how to take care of them, she is extremely sociable, but since we were children we have always been friends and she is very understanding with me, from there I learned that in the real world, you will always find someone who loves you, even if you are "weird" to the world. In high school my grades improved exceptionally, because apart from being autistic, I became gifted, I had been writing a script for a long time, in fact, when I started high school, for my favorite science fiction saga, Star Trek, but imagining the cast of JJ Abrahams' reboot, I said: I must win a national level contest! to pay for my career in astronomy at one of the best universities in the world. I had my focus, where I wanted to go, but little did I imagine that by accident I would become a screenwriter in which even the director of that reboot saga and the production company would look at me, "sometimes, your skill and success is where you are most afraid," and so it was, I was very afraid of being the center of attention, but I was brave, and I decided to be."

Elaine, who observes human behavior, only watches how everyone behaves when receiving their awards, she was only going for what she was going for: to collect her award, everyone praised her for her work, Elaine only wanted to earn her money, she was anxious when everyone approached her, her hands sweated profusely when that happened, but she decided to continue, she was afraid, but when she remembered the true objective, she continued forward. After the awards ceremony, Elaine and Amanda go to the movies (Elaine's favorite place) to celebrate that she won the national award for her script.

_ Have you thought about what it would mean to you to have won? - Amanda asked Elaine, who was imagining her movie in her mind, with the actors talking and saying each line of her script- Hey! Elaine!

_ I don't know! I did it like SpongeBob said: Imagination! - said Elaine making a rainbow with her hands- let's go! I don't want to be late for the movie, you know I love watching from the commercials

They spent a nice afternoon at the movies, Elaine was satisfied with what she had achieved, even during the movie, she was focused on what she would achieve now with the money she had earned, she couldn't understand her best friend's behavior, because Amanda has always been there for her in good times and bad, but she never offered her money to pay for her college, although in reality, Elaine didn't blame her, and more so because Elaine deep down wanted to be a famous screenwriter, and she wanted to earn the honor of being one herself without anyone else's help, so she was very grateful that Amanda gave her her sincere friendship.

Two months later.

Elaine was reviewing the draft of her script, imagining the scene and how everything she had written in her script would happen in great detail, which was the following:

"In this fourth installment, a mysterious alien whose purpose is to destroy the Starfleet, but to do so gradually, so with his extensive knowledge of science and medicine, he creates a substance known as "fleeting exchange." He sneaks into the fleet as a spy and injects it into Spock and Kirk, causing their personalities to exchange (only their personalities, their abilities, skills, and so on remain and physically they also remain themselves) as this alien knows that Kirk is the same as him an emotional person, given to hunches and feelings by nature, what he wants is for Spock to express himself in this way since it is not something "normal" in Vulcan culture, because his purpose for this alien is to start his plan with Spock no longer thinking like a Vulcan, now thinking totally like a human and becoming Kirk's personality so that there is chaos on the Enterprise, with the survivors of the destruction of the Vulcan planet, and gradually with Starfleet, because this villain wants to take advantage of both of their pasts so that now with the exchange of personalities, they react differently and he achieves his goal: in Kirk's case, although deep down he wants his father to come back, he becomes so rational, cerebral, with powerful reasoning and logical, that when he speaks, he adopts Spock's accent and is now the one who begins to constantly question Spock's decisions, he tells him a lot that his reasoning was emotional and that is why what happened happened (what has happened in the three installments of the reboot) Spock, on the other hand, is overcome by emotions, severely questions the way he was raised and begins to long to go back in time and save his mother as well as his planet, but he wants to end the Vulcan culture because he begins to hate the culture with which he was raised, as now he has become emotional, he already finds their wisdom, knowledge, science, vocabulary so broad that he even has resentment towards the same crew of the Enterprise, towards the starfleet is made evident by feeling that "they had marginalized him for being different" because of the treatment that some gave him or because of his literal interpretation of things, which makes Spock become very violent and Kirk is increasingly intellectually arrogant. Making Spock make decisions based on his emotions, plotting revenge, which makes him ally with this mysterious alien and there is a powerful confrontation between Kirk and Spock, will sides be formed? Will Spock really be that dangerous and will his resentment at being "seen differently" (especially by Kirk at the time) get the better of him? What is the mysterious alien's next step now that he has achieved his goal of swapping the protagonists' personalities? That remains to be seen."

_ Elaine, Elaine! You have to take this call- her mother told her

_ Thank you... yes, hello, good afternoon, nice to meet you?........ no!... it's a joke, right?..... well, I don't know, it's just that

JJ Abrahams and the Star Trek production company contacted her to tell her that they loved her script, and that they wanted her to work with them to polish it and the project would be carried out, that it would become a reality, the cast was delighted to return.

Elaine kept seeing on the news and in her email how many Trekkies were begging for that script to become a reality already, they had been waiting for a fourth installment of the film for many years, although her goal was to be an astronomer, she also longed to be a screenwriter, but she had not realized this, she accepted the proposal and now she would move to Hollywood, with all the travel paid for. But she felt very anxious thinking about having to be the center of attention and be in multitudes and can no longer continue to lead her systematic life. Her friend Amanda is going to see her.

_ Amanda, you have always been my great support, but... this? is not the life I asked for

_ I understand you, really, the advantage you have now is that since you already have experience in managing your availability, you now know how to manage your time to continue with your career as an astronomer, you can do it Elaine! It's your chance! You were brave and accepted it, since you are a visionary, you will be able to see what to do now with the salary you will earn for joining this exciting project.

_ I know, I know, but Amanda, you decided to be a youtuber because you liked it, you really like what you do and you know how to deal with the world or a large part of the world knowing you. I can't!

_ So "choose fame or remain anonymous" although to be honest and in your broad vocabulary that you have, you are not anonymous anymore, but you still have time to cancer work on the project, you decide ... ... You know? I always told you over and over again that I would help you pay for your college for your career, because at the end of the day, you are very brave to choose to be different from girls our age. But you time and time again told me no, that you were going to earn your money by yourself, even if it would take you a long time to reach your goals, I admire that about you! I .... I wanted the easy way out, to be cool with the boys and girls, for things to always be LOL and Cool, but you didn't. You also helped me to be strong, and to realize that things shouldn't be easy, you once told me "do the right thing, not the easy thing" when we were 12, but I didn't listen to you, now I understand. Now that you taught me to be who I should be, now I urge you to bring out the full potential of who you are, because that "accidental galactic screenwriter" that you always wanted to be but didn't know it, was inside you all the time.

Faced with Amanda's words, Elaine decided to continue. On the plane, many people looked at her perplexed. She decided to respond with her current social skills. Deep down, she was yelling, but then she realized that always, no matter who you are, they will always form an opinion of you, positive or negative, due to the great variety of cultures and personalities that exist. When she got off the plane, several reporters wanted to interview her, again that anxiety came back, but when she remembered the words "choose fame or be anonymous," she decided to answer.

_ Thank you very much, I am very grateful, I am very nervous, I do not deny it, I am as scared as SpongeBob wanting to rescue his pet Gary!

Although Elaine didn't know how to function in the real world, she decided to continue, with fear, but she decided to look forward, to be that galactic scriptwriter by accident (because by accident her script went viral for the trekkies, it became a whole creativity for the production company and the cast) When she was heading to the apartment where she would now stay, Chris Pine and Zachary Quinto went to meet her and talk to her. What they didn't know, is what she would come out with.

_ Don't go strangling me! - Elaine exclaimed addressing Zachary at the moment they exchanged words - unless you're the strangler of snitches (reference to SpongeBob) - then Elaine starts laughing

Chris Pine and Zachary Quinto turn to look at each other a little strangely, since they didn't know yet, neither they nor anyone she would work with, that she is autistic.

_ I think now he's going to end up strangling you to death- Elaine said to Chris- because now in this script he's going to be very emotional and if being cerebral he almost decapitates you with his own hands, imagine now when he's just as emotional as you! Poor you!

Chris and Zachary laughed at Elaine's jokes but didn't understand her behavior, until her friend Amanda, who went to catch up with her, called them and told them that when she made jokes, they should play along. Amanda was afraid that they would know that she was her autistic best friend, so she told them that she was very playful and very given to jokes all the time. Then, she made a sign to Elaine telling her that what they want is to get to know her "using the language of the real world", what Amanda didn't know, is that she would be brave to reveal that she was autistic.

_ Hello! My name is Elaine and I'm autistic- Zachary felt a little bad for not having been informed earlier that the young woman had that condition, as did Chris- call me wise (another reference to SpongeBob)

Chris and Zachary played along but not in the way Elaine expected, Amanda was upset that it wasn't like that and was still impressed by Elaine's courage to say that she was autistic. Still, Elaine answered.

_ Thanks! I'm full of wise and I'm a wise woman, but if Spock wants to strangle me for making him emotional, he should let me know in time so I can tell my friends to sing to him that "the secret of the formula is me" (another reference to SpongeBob) and then I can run away.

JJ Abrahams arrived to be able to tell the actors that she is autistic (since Elaine only told him), but that he was still happy to work with her for her creativity, and that since she was now going into her career in astronomy, they could contribute more to the project to make the film more creative. The project went ahead, while Elaine studied, she now had to deal with her classmates who wanted to become "the accidental galactic screenwriter", but with coping strategies, she managed to deal with it. The film was filmed and made it to the big screen, a triumph for the Trekkies! Elaine chose fame over anonymity, and managed to do the two things she wanted: what she really wanted to be: an astronomer, and what she wanted all her life but didn't know it: to be a screenwriter, because even though she didn't know it, that gift was inside her all the time, the challenges continued again and again for Elaine, but just as the real world is "prepared" to deal with, she had a great gift that helped her a lot to deal with fame: her ability to see human behavior, neurodivergent culture came to celebrate Elaine's triumph, since her script raised the franchise again.

On the tour to promote the film, Elaine said

I am Elaine and I am Autistic, I do not understand your world, just as you see me strange, I see you strange, you may want to unravel me for that, but I can tell you: I conquered my fears! You don't have to be someone special for me to not understand or for you to see me as strange, with everyone it is a challenge for me to know how I should act, but you already know, I am autistic, and I am agalactic screenwriter

by accident, I chose fame, not anonymity, I chose to be an astronomer, and now I'm also a screenwriter, where will being both things take me? I don't know, I just know that it makes me very happy to be who I am.