Evanesce

In 1454, in the Joseon dynasty, the wombed Seojin. 

Seojin was tarnished. From birth born cursed, crying out of the womb of his mother with never ending crystal tears.

Seojin grew up as an exceptional young man. Obeying his mother and doing most of the household chores. 

He had known that his mother was growing fragile so he continued to live his life like her personal slave, voluntarily. He would go market after market finding jobs, waking up early in the morning to do jobs and tasks for a spare change. He did the best he could for his mother. 

But, it was until she fell ill. Seojin worried, he endlessly tired himself to do jobs, hard labour, everything he can to buy her medicine. He had no time to feed himself and only his mother. He was growing skinnier and skinnier and was extremely fatigued. 

He went over to a restaurant, where nobles were eating and having fun around. He decided to sit near a shallow alley near the restaurant and wait for the nobel to leave so he could eat their leftovers. 

He stayed there, sitting with his legs in his chest as he held them tightly. It was cold and he was shivering. It was near winter, fall was ending. Seojin didn't have warm clothes and he had no money to afford any.

He was already 14 years old, he thought if his life could get any better. In another world where he could probably get a normal life. His mother is in good condition, maybe father could be with us, he thought. He didn't know who his father was, he was born in a small house, his mother was always sceptical around him. Seojin never pried to know. He just did what she asked.

As Seojin was in the urge to close his eyes, he saw shadows around the corner of his eye. The shadows kept getting closer, later he widened his eyes. Two figures, who seem to appeal as male. 

Those men pulled Seojin by the collar of his shirt and dragged him. Seojin was scared and resisted it happening, but due to his poor strength and fatigued body, it was impossible to outdo them. They placed their hands where Seojin felt the most disgusted. It was not a touch like a tap on the shoulder, it was something Seojin was too young to learn.

What are they doing to me? I'm scared. 

Once he woke up, a pain coming from his whole body woke him up completely, he felt disgusted, dirty and he noticed his body. Bruises in his thighs and upper body. Seojin was shaken in freight. He stood up and a drip of blood came from the bottom of his opening alongside unknown fluids. 

Seojin threw up. His life turned upside down, he felt dizzy as he walked. He wanted to cry so loud, let the world know that he hated all of this. That he hated his living conditions, that he never wanted to listen to his mother and live like a normal kid, who is happy and laughing with his mother. 

He started running. He wanted to go back to his house and tell his mother everything. He stumbled from running and tripped, he got a bloody nose from hitting his face on the dirt road. There, he let out tears. He got up and began to get dizzy again. He had no choice but to continue running back home as he feared if he stayed, worse things would happen to him. 

He got to his house and rushed to see his mom. There, he saw his mother looking by the window, in daze. He couldn't help but let tears roll on his face, crying uncontrollably, in such a desperate state. He felt a burning sensation in his heart like it was going to burst at any given moment. 

He called out to his mother, "Mom! I want this to end!"

His mother just stared him down, her sickly pale face and her dried lips, like a canvas with no meaning. Her lips parted and she looked like she was going to say something. She refrained, and turned back to look outside the window. 

"Mom… please say something.. I don't want to live like this anymore.. Mom! Please say something, when would you get better..?" Seojin gasped from finishing his sentence. He cried and his eyes were starting to get very red. He was trying to catch his breath each time but as he tried, the more guilt and disgust he felt from remembering all that happened. He couldn't calm himself down. He didn't know how. It was like he lost hope in everything, like he didn't know what happiness was anymore. 

"Seojin, my son. I'm so sorry for everything, I'm sorry that my life will be cut short. But promise me this, you will strive to continue living and find a purpose in life."

She took her last breath before leaving this world. 

Did I not take care of her enough? Did I not try harder? Why did she leave me at this moment when I needed her most? I never asked anything from her. Why is this world so cruel to me, thought Seojin.

He held his mother's body and began to cry endlessly. He felt like such an immature child…like a terrible son. He felt dizzy again, and there, there was a black aura he saw and the aura felt cold all over his body. What was happening?

Seojin began to cry out blood. He was in such pain. He didn't know what was happening, if he was going to die or not. What did he do wrong to experience the worst. He held his mother's body and began to bleed from his mouth. Holding tightly around her corpse as he looked at the other side of hell. 

"Mother…I can't do this anymore. I just wanna die.."

He shut his eyes and collapsed.

**

Time has passed, 3 years have gone by after the accident. Seojin is 17 years old now. His hair grew longer, his features had defined a bit, he grew taller, he changed. Not by characteristics, but himself. He had lost his spirit. He was a dead man inside. His eyes had no glow on them, they looked like the color of a rainy day, a grey cloud with nothing behind it.

He gained a new scar, it was in his left hand and it looked like a diamond star. He had no idea what it ment. He just thought that it was ugly to him and he always wants to cover it underneath his clothes…he was reminded of the incident-

He was holding his mothers body where he got the courage to stand up. It was an endless walk…blood all over his shirt and face. He walked to the nearest cliff. Where he would break his first promise. The last promise he would break.

He took a deep breath, and fell off… he smiled as he fell. Looking into the shining sun, a sense of relief. I'm sorry I broke my promise, mother. But what choice do I have? To continue an endless hell.. I'd rather visit you, mother.

That was the last thought Seojin had of his mother. A farewell as he would depart from this world. 

THUD

A large thud sound that collided with the ground. Here lies, Seojins body, bleeding from the head as his head was cracked open from the rocks. A wooden branch had pierced his eye, gouging out his socket. 

It was already noon as his body was there being eaten away by crows. A twitch, the crows instantly were alerted and flew away. Seojin…Seojin had awakened from the dead. His body was still cut open, but most of the wounds were healing. He looked around with his blurry vision, a hazy memory until he looked at this left hand. His scar from before, then all of a sudden, he remembered everything that happened. 

He screamed from fear. How can this be? How is he alive? "MOM! WHAT THE HELL AM I?" He was confused and frustrated. How is he alive after he jumped off a cliff and hit his head where he knew it was the end of his life. He was scared and frightened. 

He didn't know what he was. He started crying from frustration and hugged himself as he scratched his back with his nails. Large marks formed near his obliques, it stinged. He knew this was all real. 

He couldn't believe it so he stood up and ran. He ran as far as he could to a nearby town where there would be people. He gasped as he ran and tried to catch his breath from all the running. A sweat from his face dropped to the ground in slow motion. 

There he saw a noble man and started to attack him. He knew this was a way he could actually die. A strike from an iron sword would be the end of his life. A group of military men approached him and offered to stop so things wouldn't end the things Seojin would want to end. 

Seojin kept attacking the noble man and there is were he felt sharp pain from his back. He cried from relief. He got stabbed in the heart from the sword by one of the military men. 

His body fell to the ground. He was already dirty from dirt from his feet, hair and clothes. He was a dirty mop to these people. They just passed by as his body was there. His dead body was dragged out to some forest so it wouldn't disturb the people in the town.

And it just stood idle, getting eaten away by the small insects. Dead.