Chapter 10: My Frenemy

Somewhere deep in Zaun, four very pleased individuals pushed a very stolen cart through the Lanes.

And they were laughing their asses off.

"—Did you see his face?!" Vi cackled, wiping a tear from her eye. "I swear, I think we just ruined that dude's whole week!"

Claggor, ever the moral compass, frowned as he pushed the cart alongside Mylo.

"I dunno, Vi," he muttered. "That was kinda messed up. He sounded really pissed."

Vi just waved a hand.

"Pfft, he'll live. Consider it karma for insulting my hair."

Claggor sighed.

"Pretty sure he just called you ugly."

"Exactly!" Vi huffed. "And what did I tell you guys about letting ugly people have opinions?"

"You didn't say anything about that."

"Well, I'm saying it now."

Mylo snorted, giving the cart a good shove.

"Honestly, I don't even know why you're mad," he said, smirking. "Dude was just spitting facts."

Vi whipped around.

"Do you have a death wish?"

"Hey, don't kill him yet," Powder chimed in, still giggling as she rode on top of the pile of stolen scrap. "He's gotta help push the cart first."

Vi sighed dramatically, shaking her head.

"I dunno, Powder. I feel like I've done society a great disservice by letting this little goblin live for this long."

"Hey, fuck you."

"Shut up, Mylo."

More laughter.

Then, as the giggles finally started dying down, Powder suddenly pouted and turned to her sister.

"Vi, that was kinda mean."

Vi blinked.

"Huh?"

"You didn't have to keep making fun of him like that," Powder said, crossing her arms. "The whole… you know. Size thing."

Mylo and Claggor winced.

Vi, on the other hand?

Vi just grinned.

"Aww, you're right, Powder," she said sweetly, wrapping an arm around her little sister's shoulders. "I should really apologize for my behavior."

She paused.

Then, completely straight-faced—

"Sorry for calling him out in front of witnesses. I'll be more discreet next time."

Powder groaned.

Mylo wheezed.

Claggor just shook his head.

And with that, the four of them disappeared into the darkness of the Lanes, taking Lukas's hard-earned loot with them.

---------------------

Two days later, Lukas was still fuming.

Those filthy, thieving, rat-bastard hooligans.

One day, one fucking day, he was going to get them back.

But for now, he had more important things to worry about.

Like finally eating something that wasn't rat meat.

And where better to get a cheap meal than Jericho's?

It was one of the few places in Zaun that actually sold warm food at a price even a broke idiot like him could afford.

Lukas strolled through the Lanes, hands in his pockets, feeling just a little bit richer than usual.

The price of a meal? 70 bronze washers.

His current funds? 8 silver gears.

Not much, but enough.

He turned a corner, and there it was—Jericho's food stall.

It was a small, run-down shack, held together by rust and hope, with a single, flickering lantern lighting the place up.

And behind the counter, standing like some kind of nightmare made flesh, was Jericho himself.

Lukas stopped in his tracks.

Holy fuck.

Jericho was a big bastard.

Like, horrifyingly big.

Tall, broad-shouldered, with rough gray skin, sharp teeth, and cold, dead fish eyes.

The man looked like he'd been cursed by an ocean god and crawled out of a sunken ship just to make soup.

Oh, and also?

He was completely fucking mute.

Which, somehow, made him even scarier.

"Alright, don't be a bitch," Lukas told himself. "He's just a guy. A scary, horrifying, soulless-eyed guy, but still just a guy."

He approached the counter.

Jericho stared at him.

Lukas tried not to sweat.

"...One bowl, please."

Jericho didn't say a word.

Didn't even blink.

Just took the money, turned around, and started cooking.

Lukas exhaled.

"Okay. Good. He didn't kill me."

And then, after a minute or two, the bowl arrived.

Lukas stared at it.

The food…

Looked horrendous.

Just an ugly, grayish-brown mess, like someone had thrown together old meat, soggy vegetables, and existential dread.

For a long moment, he just stared.

And then he sighed.

"Alright, well. They say it looks worse than it tastes."

He picked up his spoon.

And then—

Someone bumped into him.

His entire bowl nearly went flying.

And before he even had the chance to turn around and cuss someone out—

A familiar voice spoke up.

"Oh, well, if it isn't the Undercity Nudist!"

Lukas froze.

No.

No. No. No. No. No.

He slowly turned his head.

And standing there, smirking like the devil herself, was Vi.

And behind her?

A giggling Powder.

Fucking kill me.

-----------

Lukas sighed, stirring his food with his spoon as Vi and Powder made themselves comfortable.

Powder plopped down between them with zero hesitation, while Vi took her seat with all the smugness of someone who had already won a fight that hadn't even started yet.

Lukas, meanwhile, was internally screaming.

'Why me? Why is it always me? Why can't I just eat my radioactive soup in peace?'

Powder, completely unaware of his internal suffering, leaned forward excitedly.

"By the way! I'm Powder!" she chirped. "What's your name?"

Lukas opened his mouth to respond—

And Vi cut him off immediately.

"Oh, that's easy," she grinned. "His name is Mr. Nudes."

Silence.

The air shifted.

Powder choked back a laugh. A man nearby snorted into his drink.

Lukas slowly turned to look at Vi.

Vi smirked.

Lukas smirked back.

The table went dead silent.

Then—

'Alright, bitch. You wanna go? Let's go.'

Lukas leaned in, resting his chin on one hand as he casually ripped into her.

"Y'know, you sure talk a lot of shit for someone with such an ugly face."

Vi blinked.

Powder burst out laughing.

The people at the other tables started paying attention.

Vi recovered fast, grinning. "Damn, dude, that's the best you got?"

Lukas smirked. "Oh, trust me, I'm just getting started. Why is your hairline running away from your forehead like it owes it money?"

Powder wheezed.

Vi snapped a fry in half.

"Alright, asshole," she grinned. "You wanna play like that? Let's play."

She leaned forward.

"You got a real punchable face, y'know that?"

Lukas shrugged. "Probably. That's why I carry a gun."

Vi actually paused.

Lukas winked, tapping his hoodie where his newly acquired revolver was safely tucked away.

Vi narrowed her eyes.

"…You actually have a gun?"

Lukas shrugged. "Maybe."

Powder's eyes widened. "Whoa, really?! Can I see?"

"No."

"Awww."

Vi squinted at him. "So lemme get this straight—you're pipsqueack with a gun?"

Lukas sighed. "Okay, first of all, rude."

"So I'm wrong?"

Lukas opened his mouth.

Paused.

Closed it again.

Vi smirked.

"That's what I thought."

Lukas groaned, dramatically dropping his head onto the table.

Powder giggled as she sipped her drink.

"You guys are funny," she said cheerfully.

Vi ruffled her hair. "That's because I'm hilarious."

Lukas lifted his head.

"Yeah, yeah, you're a regular stand-up comedian," he muttered. "I'm gonna eat now. You people can keep roasting me after I'm done."

Vi snorted. "Pfft. Truce, then?"

Lukas sighed.

"Fine. Truce."

And just like that, the tension faded.

---

For the rest of the meal, they actually… talked.

About small things.

Zaun. Piltover. The best places to steal food without getting shanked.

Powder asked how old he was.

Lukas hesitated.

"Uh… I think 14?"

Powder grinned. "Hey, cool! I'm 12! Vi's 15."

Vi smirked. "That's right, kid. Respect your elders."

Lukas rolled his eyes. "Yes, Grandma."

Powder giggled.

After a while, Powder asked, "So, where do you live?"

Lukas paused.

"…I don't, really." He scratched his cheek. "I kinda just… stay where I can. But lately, I've been near the waterfall."

Vi blinked. "Wait. So you're telling me… I've been bullying a homeless guy?"

Lukas stared at her.

Vi put a hand over her chest, looking deeply offended.

"I can't believe myself."

Lukas narrowed his eyes.

"You're gonna say something sarcastic, aren't you?"

Vi leaned in, resting her chin on her hand.

"I feel so guilty."

"Yep. There it is."

Vi snickered.

Lukas rolled his eyes. "You can go fuck yourself."

Vi grinned.

Powder, between them, just happily ate her soup.

The night continued like that—easy conversation, dumb jokes, for once, no one trying to kill him.

It was…

Nice.

Lukas barely even noticed how much time had passed.

When they finally finished eating, Powder let out a happy sigh, stretching her arms.

"That was great!"

Vi grinned. "Told ya Jericho makes the best food in the Lanes."

"Still ugly as shit, though," Lukas muttered.

"True," Vi agreed.

Jericho, still standing behind the counter, narrowed his cold, dead fish eyes at them.

All three of them shut the fuck up immediately.

"Right," Lukas said quickly, standing up. "I'm gonna head out before I get stabbed by a fishman."

Vi stretched. "Yeah, we should get going too."

Lukas shoved his hands into his pockets. "Well, see you guys around, I guess."

Vi smirked. "Later, Mr. Nudes."

Lukas groaned.

Powder giggled.

And just like that, they parted ways.

Lukas walked back toward his temporary home, feeling just a little less pissed off at the world.

Sure, his cart got stolen.

Sure, he was still broke.

Sure, Vi was the single most annoying person he had ever met.

But for the first time since arriving in Zaun, he had an actual conversation that wasn't about murder, robbery, or not dying.

A weird, stupid, chaotic little conversation.

And it was…

Kinda nice.

Lukas flopped onto his makeshift bed, staring up at the dirty ceiling.

Nothing to do.

Nothing to think about.

He exhaled deeply.

"...yeah, time to jork it"