For the first time, I stay Awake
Ren Nakamura had always run away.
From school. From people. From feelings.
From anything that made him feel too much.
But this time—he stayed.
Because this time, it was Yuki.
And she was the one thing he couldn't afford to lose.
That Night – Ren's Room
Ren lay in bed, staring at the ceiling.
He hadn't slept.
He couldn't.
Every time he closed his eyes, he saw her.
Standing by the train tracks, whispering, "I'm sick, Ren."Smiling like it didn't hurt.Like she had already accepted something he wasn't ready to face.
Ren gritted his teeth, pressing a hand over his chest.
It felt tight.
Like something inside him was unraveling—breaking apart piece by piece.
He hated this.
The helplessness. The fear.
For the first time in his life—punching something wouldn't fix it.
And that made him feel like he was drowning.
The Next Morning – Classroom
Ren didn't sleep.
But for the first time—he stayed awake on purpose.
Because if he closed his eyes, even for a second—
He was afraid he'd wake up, and she'd be gone.
Yuki walked into the classroom, her expression the same as always—bright, warm, unreadable.
But now—Ren saw through it.
Now—he knew.
Her smile wasn't as easy as it used to be.Her hands trembled just slightly when she set her bag down.Her face was too pale.
And the worst part?
She still pretended like everything was fine.
Ren's grip tightened on his pencil.
He wasn't going to let her pretend anymore.
Lunch Break – Rooftop
The wind was cold, but Ren barely felt it.
Yuki sat across from him, legs stretched out, swinging slightly over the rooftop edge.
She was humming a song under her breath—something soft, something gentle.
Like nothing had changed.
Ren exhaled slowly. It was a lie.
"...How long?" he muttered.
Yuki paused. "Hm?"
Ren didn't look at her.
"If you knew before we met," he continued, voice low, "then how long do you have?"
Yuki blinked.
Then—she smiled.
And Ren hated it.
Because he knew—that smile meant she wasn't going to answer.
"...Why does it matter?" she whispered.
Ren's chest tightened.
He finally turned to her, jaw clenched. "What kind of question is that?"
Yuki tilted her head slightly, as if studying him.
"You've changed, Ren," she murmured.
Ren stiffened.
She smiled—small, soft, knowing.
"When we first met, you never cared about anything," she continued. "You never asked questions. You never looked at anyone long enough to notice things."
Her gaze lingered on his face.
"But now you do."
Ren swallowed hard.
"You made me change," he muttered. "So don't act like I wouldn't care about this."
Yuki's lips parted slightly.
And for the first time—her expression cracked.
"...I'm sorry," she whispered.
Ren felt it.
That ache deep in his chest, the one he couldn't escape from.
He never wanted her to apologize.
He just wanted her to stay.
"...Tch." Ren rubbed his temple. "You really piss me off, Hoshino."
Yuki laughed softly. "I know."
She leaned back on her palms, tilting her head toward the sky.
"...It's strange, isn't it?" she murmured. "How people always talk about time like there's so much of it."
Ren stayed quiet.
Yuki smiled, closing her eyes.
"But it never feels like enough."
Ren's throat felt tight.
His hands curled into fists.
For the first time, he understood.
Yuki wasn't afraid of dying.
She was afraid of not living enough before she had to go.
And he hated that.
Because what the hell was he supposed to do?
How was he supposed to just—accept it?
He let out a slow, shaky breath.
"...Then let's make it enough," he muttered.
Yuki turned to him, eyes wide.
Ren's gaze was sharp—determined, unshakable.
"As long as you're here, you're not going through this alone," he said firmly.
Yuki stared.
Then—her eyes softened.
And before he could react, she leaned against his shoulder.
Ren froze.
The warmth of her, the quiet rise and fall of her breath—it was all too much.
And yet—
He didn't move away.
"...Thank you, Ren," she whispered.
Ren exhaled slowly, closing his eyes.
For the first time, he didn't feel tired.
For the first time—
He wanted to stay awake.