The Story of E – Chapter 10: The Hero-Villain Career Dilemma
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Previously on The Story of E
E got kidnapped into being the "Chosen One."
The Evil Lord is too tired for this nonsense.
E received an invitation to the Secret Society of Villains.
The kingdom bribed him into being a hero, but E is now considering a career change.
And now, we continue…
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1. A Career Crisis in Progress
E sat on his brand-new throne in his totally legitimate castle, staring at two stacks of paperwork.
On the left: "Hero Registration Forms."
On the right: "Villain Application Packet (Comes with Free Cape)."
He tapped his fingers. "Decisions, decisions…"
A new tutorial box appeared.
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[WARNING: YOU CANNOT BE A HERO AND A VILLAIN AT THE SAME TIME.]
[…Wait. Actually, there's no rule against it.]
[Proceed with caution.]
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E grinned. "That's what I like to hear."
At that moment, his door burst open.
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2. The Kingdom Tries to Secure Their Investment
Sir Generic McHeroSupport rushed in, panting.
"Great One! You haven't left for the Evil Lord's Castle yet!"
E stretched. "Nope. Got a lot of paperwork to do first."
The knight froze. "P-paperwork?"
E held up the Villain Application Packet. "Yeah. Deciding between 'Chosen Hero' and 'Evil Lord's Business Partner.' You know, career options."
The knight screamed internally.
"GREAT ONE, YOU CANNOT SERIOUSLY BE CONSIDERING—"
"Listen, listen." E raised a hand. "If they're offering better benefits, why wouldn't I at least check?"
The knight collapsed onto the floor.
"My soul hurts."
E nodded. "Welcome to capitalism."
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3. The Evil Lord Has Questions
Meanwhile, at Evil Lord HQ, the Evil Lord was also having a rough day.
"HE HASN'T ATTACKED YET?!"
The skeleton servant nodded. "No, my Lord. He appears to be… negotiating with both sides."
The Evil Lord rubbed his temples.
"Alright. Let's speed this up. Send him an official job offer."
The skeleton hesitated. "With… the standard villain package?"
The Evil Lord sighed.
"No. Make it the Executive Villain package. We need results."
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4. The Villains' Job Offer (Includes Dental)
Back in his castle, a black envelope appeared out of thin air.
E grabbed it.
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[CONGRATULATIONS! YOU HAVE BEEN OFFERED A POSITION AS EXECUTIVE VILLAIN.]
[COMPENSATION PACKAGE INCLUDES:]
A Lair with Free Lavafalls
Minion Army (Health Insurance Included!)
Evil Laugh Training Sessions
[SIGN BELOW TO ACCEPT.]
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E whistled. "Free lava? Tempting."
Sir Generic McHeroSupport grabbed his shoulders.
"NO, STOP! YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO SAVE US!"
E sighed. "I feel like you're not respecting my life choices."
The knight screamed into a pillow.
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5. A "Friendly" Meeting With the Evil Lord
A letter from the Evil Lord arrived.
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"Dear Potential Villain,
Let's talk.
Sincerely, Evil Lord."
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E shrugged. "Well, that was direct."
So, naturally, he showed up unannounced.
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6. Job Interview, But Make It Evil
The Evil Lord's throne room was dramatic as hell.
Flaming torches? Check.
Menacing stone throne? Check.
Villain sitting with a glass of wine and an existential crisis? Also check.
The Evil Lord sighed.
"So. You're the so-called 'Chosen One.'"
E sat down. "So. You're the so-called 'Evil Lord.'"
The Evil Lord took a sip of wine.
"You're not very heroic."
E smirked. "And you don't seem that evil."
The Evil Lord sighed. "Yeah, I get that a lot."
A moment of silence.
Then, the Evil Lord tossed a contract on the table.
"Alright. You want in? Fine. Just sign here."
E picked up a pen.
Then, the door burst open.
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7. The Kingdom Pulls a Power Move
The king stormed in, dramatic cape flowing.
"STOP THIS MADNESS!"
E groaned. "Dude, do you have a tracker on me or something?"
The king ignored him.
"You CANNOT join the Evil Lord!"
E raised an eyebrow. "You bribed me into being a hero. He's bribing me into being a villain. Why shouldn't I take the better deal?"
The king slammed a new contract onto the table.
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[NEW OFFER FROM THE KINGDOM:]
Royal Title (Lord E of Chaos)
10x More Gold Than the Villains' Offer
*A Personal Army (No Training Required!)
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E's eyes widened.
"Oh. Damn. Okay, now it's getting competitive."
The Evil Lord gasped.
"You can't just counter-offer!"
The king smirked.
"Watch me."
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8. The Ultimate Decision
E looked at both contracts.
On one hand: Executive Villain Package.
On the other hand: Royal Hero Deal.
Then, he had an idea.
"What if I take… both?"
The room fell silent.
The king and the Evil Lord stared.
The Evil Lord shook his head.
"That's… not how this works."
E grinned. "But there's no rule against it, right?"
The tutorial box popped up again.
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[…We're going to need to check the rulebook. Please hold.]
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E leaned back.
"Guess I just invented dual-classing."
The King: Screaming.
The Evil Lord: Also screaming.
E?
Absolutely thriving.
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