The Story of E – Chapter 16: The Downfall of Common Sense
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Previously on The Story of E
The High Priest founded the first Church of Capitalism.
The General became an unwilling pop idol.
The King got demoted to 'Royal Consultant' against his will.
E monetized existence itself.
And now… let's see how much further we can push reality before it collapses!
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1. The King Tries (Again) to Regain His Power
The King sat in his office, sipping tea.
Yes. His office. Not his throne room. Because he was no longer the King.
"It's fine. I still have influence. I can still—"
A courier burst in.
"Sir, the new government reorganization is complete!"
The King blinked.
"New… what?"
E casually entered, sipping from a suspiciously expensive-looking drink.
"Oh yeah. We rebranded the monarchy. It's a democracy now."
The King spat out his tea.
"YOU WHAT?!"
The courier handed him a document.
"The Kingdom of [REDACTED] is now the People's Republic of [REDACTED]!"
The King felt his soul leave his body.
"HOW DID THIS EVEN HAPPEN?!"
E shrugged. "We held an election. The people voted."
The King shook.
"WHO EVEN RAN AGAINST ME?!"
E grinned.
"You did."
The King froze.
"…What."
The courier nodded.
"Yes, sir! The two candidates were 'The King' and 'Not The King.'"
"And… 'Not The King' won by a landslide."
The King stared.
"…Who is 'Not The King'?"
E patted his shoulder.
"It's me."
The King screamed into the void.
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2. The General Finally Snaps
The General stood on stage, microphone in hand.
His latest concert was sold out. Thousands of fans cheered his name.
He took a deep breath.
And then he threw the microphone into the audience.
"NO! I QUIT! I AM A GENERAL, NOT A SINGER!"
The crowd cheered even louder.
"WOO! IMPROV PERFORMANCE!"
The General froze.
"Wait, what? NO! I'M SERIOUS! I'M DONE!"
The stage lights dramatically flared.
A producer ran on stage.
"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, OUR BELOVED GENERAL IS ANNOUNCING HIS FINAL CONCERT!"
The crowd gasped.
Then they screamed in excitement.
"ONE LAST SHOW! ONE LAST SHOW!"
The General felt his will to live disintegrate.
E leaned in.
"You know, if you quit, your stock value might drop."
The General froze.
"…Stock value?"
E nodded. "Yeah. You're a publicly traded asset now."
The General turned to the audience.
Thousands of fans held up signs that said 'BUY GENERAL STOCKS.'
The General took a deep breath.
And then he ran off stage at full speed.
E sighed.
"Man, he really doesn't read his contracts."
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3. The High Priest Declares a Holy War (on Sales Tax)
The High Priest stood in front of the temple, declaring his latest revelation.
"Brothers and sisters! I have seen the truth! Capitalism is divine!"
The Merchant Guild nodded in agreement.
"But there is an evil among us! A curse! A plague!"
The crowd gasped.
"What is it, O wise one?!"
The High Priest raised his hands.
"SALES TAX!"
The crowd erupted into chaos.
The King—uh, Former King—buried his face in his hands.
"I swear to the gods, if this becomes a war, I'm leaving this kingdom."
E smirked.
"Oh, it's too late for that."
The Former King froze.
"What do you mean?"
E handed him a letter.
"The Holy Crusade Against Sales Tax has already started."
The Former King read the letter.
It was a formal declaration of war… against the Treasury Department.
The Former King began hyperventilating.
"WHY IS THIS KINGDOM LIKE THIS?!"
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4. The Economy Evolves (Again. Somehow.)
The Merchant Guild hosted another emergency meeting.
"Gentlemen. I am proud to announce the next step in our economic evolution!"
The Former King shook.
"NO. NO MORE."
E ignored him.
"Introducing… THE NFT MARKET!"
The room exploded into applause.
The Former King banged his head against the table.
"What does that even MEAN?!"
E grinned.
"It means we are now selling completely useless items for absurd prices. LEGALLY."
The Merchant Guild Leader held up an empty box.
"This is the 'Box of The General's Despair.' Starting bid: 10,000 gold."
The General burst into the room.
"WHY ARE YOU SELLING MY SUFFERING?!"
E shrugged.
"People love tragic backstories."
The General threw himself out the nearest window.
The Former King followed him.
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5. E Addresses the Audience Again
E turned to the reader.
"And so, the kingdom continues its beautiful descent into economic chaos. Democracy thrives! Religion thrives! The stock market thrives! And I, your beloved protagonist, continue to commit corporate fraud in broad daylight."
The Former King threw a chair at him.
"STOP TALKING TO THEM!"
E dodged effortlessly.
"No."
The High Priest pointed dramatically.
"BEHOLD! THE NEWEST RELIGION: THE CHURCH OF E!"
The crowd cheered.
E sighed.
"Well. That escalated quickly."
The General screamed in the distance.
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