The Story of E – Chapter 20: The Economics of Insanity (Now Available as a Paid Subscription)
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Previously on The Story of E
Common sense lost. Again.
The Former King had an existential crisis.
The High Priest rebranded… again.
The General is still debating if mercenary work is better than debating E.
E remains undefeated.
And now, we present… capitalism, but worse.
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1. The Treasury's Emergency Meeting (Again, No One Learns)
"He's ruining the economy!"
The Treasury Minister slammed his fists on the table.
The Former King perked up.
"Wait, which economy?"
The Treasury Minister rubbed his temples.
"ALL OF THEM."
The General nodded.
"Yeah, that checks out."
The High Priest adjusted his latest 'Holy Doctrine' poster.
"What exactly did he do this time?"
The Treasury Minister took a deep breath.
"Let me summarize: He introduced a new currency."
Silence.
The Former King frowned.
"…So what? We already have gold, silver, gems, and whatever it is the High Priest uses."
The High Priest coughed.
"We call it 'Divine Contribution.'"
"It's a pyramid scheme."
"IT'S FAITH-BASED ECONOMICS!"
"Same thing."
The Treasury Minister continued.
"No, you don't understand. His currency is… memories."
Silence.
The General blinked.
"Memories?"
The Treasury Minister gritted his teeth.
"Yes. He's trading EXPERIENCES. He literally made a market where you can buy and sell memories."
The room erupted into chaos.
The Former King looked horrified.
"Do you have any idea what this means?!"
The High Priest was already writing something down.
"I do. And I have an idea for a MEMORY-BASED INDULGENCE SYSTEM."
The Treasury Minister snapped.
"THAT'S THE PROBLEM!"
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2. Welcome to the Memory Market (Now With 50% Off Your Childhood)
E was sitting in a luxurious chair, sipping tea.
In front of him was the Memory Exchange Board, where the latest memory transactions were being recorded.
Today's Highlights:
"The Taste of Childhood Ice Cream" – Sold for 20,000 credits.
"First Love Confession (Success Version)" – Auctioned for 3 million credits.
"First Love Confession (Failure Version)" – Purchased by an unknown buyer for 10 million credits.
"The Feeling of Winning an Argument Against E" – Listed at Infinity Credits (NEVER SOLD).
E smirked.
"Ah, capitalism."
The General marched in, looking exhausted.
"E, WHAT IS THIS?"
E gestured vaguely.
"Supply and demand."
The Treasury Minister stormed in.
"YOU CAN'T JUST SELL MEMORIES!"
E shrugged.
"Why not? People sell time, labor, and ideas. Memories are just another valuable asset."
The General crossed his arms.
"But what happens if someone sells all their memories?"
E grinned.
"Then they make a fresh start. Rebranded."
The High Priest gasped.
"A RELIGIOUS CONCEPT?!"
E nodded.
"Exactly. Salvation through Capitalism™."
The Treasury Minister looked ready to explode.
"This is an economic NIGHTMARE!"
E sipped his tea.
"Or a revolution."
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3. The Investors Arrive (Chaos Ensues)
Before the Treasury Minister could self-destruct, the door burst open.
A horde of investors rushed in, led by a grinning merchant.
"Mr. E! We would like to discuss IPO options for the Memory Market!"
The Treasury Minister screamed.
The Former King whispered.
"I want in."
The High Priest held up a new poster.
"New Doctrine: Donate 10 Bad Memories and Receive 1 Good Memory Free!"
The Treasury Minister collapsed.
The General sighed.
"E, please. We can't let this happen."
E smiled.
"Too late. The people have spoken."
The Treasury Minister screamed louder.
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4. The Aftermath (Or the Treasury Minister's Mental Breakdown)
The Memory Market boomed.
People traded childhood fears for confidence.
Scholars bought intelligence.
Warriors purchased combat experience.
And someone anonymously bought the memory of 'Understanding Taxes' and erased it from existence.
The Treasury Minister resigned.
The Former King invested heavily.
The High Priest became the leading supplier of 'Regretful Sins.'
And the General?
"…Screw it. I'm going to be a mercenary."
E leaned back in his chair, smiling.
"And that, my dear audience, is how you privatize reality."
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5. E Breaks the Fourth Wall Again
E turned to the reader.
"So, what did we learn today?"
"That capitalism can't be stopped?"
"That memory trading is the future?"
"That the Treasury Minister probably needs therapy?"
"Yes. But more importantly…"
E grinned.
"Would you sell your own memories?"
The screen glitched.
A prompt appeared:
[ACCEPT TRANSACTION: "Your Best Childhood Memory" – 100,000 Credits?]
[YES] [NO]
The Former King screamed one last time.
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