Chapter One

Adrian

Four, three, two, one

"Adrian, you couldn't even secure the deal? You knew how much that deal meant to this company but still, you screwed up?" Dad yelled when it was just two of us left at the board room.

Of course, it was dad, so predictable, I always knew his next choice of words anytime I screwed up.

First, he would complain about how important it was and then he'd move on to reminding me of all the times I had done things the workings way, he'd go on to how I was never good enough and how Ace was way better than I was.

I could give up my life for him and he wouldn't even notice.

For one week, I have had sleepless nights, working for this deal and now that the investors still didn't feel convinced, how was it my fault?

He moved closer to me and nudged my arm.

"You are a disappointment Adrain."

"Dad, I did my best, I worked hard for this contract," I said, at least if he didn't remember, I had for remind him.

"Well, your best wasn't enough, it's never enough," he said giving a dominating look, really dangerous .

"Yeah, it's never enough," I muttered, the words being barely audible before walking out.

My office sofa was my place of solace, it just had a ways of relieving me off any tension. Another failed contract, can't my best just be enough?

I stood up and walked to my desk, guess I won't be needing these documents anymore.

I was not a disappointment, I wasn't going to accept that, they may not see it now but one day, they'd all come to me saying they were wrong about me. 

Still in my thoughts, my phone beeped and I picked it up to see the message. But it was a timer.

"6:00pm, March 6th"

It was March 6th? How could I not have remembered?

My phone rang this time, it was Jake calling,

"Hey dude, it's 6:00pm, March 6th," he said when I picked up.

"Yeah, I'd be at the club in a while."

 It was March 6th, the day I'd never forget, can't believe it's been three years already.

I only got to go clubbing few times in a year but on March 6th, ever since that incident happened three years ago, I came here to get wasted, to sober up. I walked into the building, the environment was loud, hot, toxic, typical of a club. I struggled my way to the bar, ignoring all the girls throwing themselves at me. Jake was already at our spot.

"Five bottles of beer, please." I ordered. Jake looked at me and was about to say something but he stopped. I didn't want to ask him about it, I was not in the mood for a chat.

"Adrian, it's been three years already, you've got to move on," he finally said and I wondered why he hesitated at first.

"Move on?" Two words that I dared so much. Two words that I never imagined myself acting on. How could I ever move on?

"Adrian, I know you still blame yourself for what happened that day but the past is past, you've got to move on. How long would you continue holding this day sacred?

I still didn't say a word and continued drinking the beer, two bottles down, three bottles left.

"You can never erase the mistakes of the past Adrian so being sober won't do any good. You can't recover if you still continue acting this way. Have fun, enjoy life, party, drink, have pleasure with women and you'd forget all about the pain."

He said it as if it was that easy, as if moving in from guilt was that simple.

"Jake, she was pretty, she was simple, her eyes had the most caring look and her smile was exceptionally charming, she gave me her heart, loved me like never before. No one has ever loved me that way, no woman had ever or will ever steal my heart the way she did. But what did I do? I took her love and tossed it, I saw how naive she was and used it against her," I said, my eyes were heavy and my throat sore, I could never forgive myself.

"Come on, Adrian."

"No Jake, don't stop me, she wouldn't have died if I had not said those hurtful things to her, she wouldn't have been so drunk that she got into an accident if I hadn't make I feel like a loser," I cried.

"It was all my fault, if I wasn't a coward, if I had just followed my heart and told her all I really felt, it wouldn't have happened, but instead I chose the other way I wanted to be good enough for dad," I cried more.

"No Adrian, it wasn't your fault. It was your dad's fault. If he hadn't sent you to her on a mission to steal those things, she wouldn't have fallen for you and she wouldn't have been hurt, if you had not warned you against falling for her, you wouldn't have had to lie to her and say those hurtful things, you'd have been free to love her," he consoled.

"Do you know she loved me so much that even when she had the chance to tell on me, she didn't. But she's gone now, everything is over."

She was gone now, nothing was left, there was no second chance to make up for all I did to her, there was no second chance to tell her how much I loved her, how much she meant to me, everything was gone, every freaking thing was gone.

Sun ray, it was the first thing I felt when my eyes got opened. Cozy bed and warm blankets,I was at home, on my bed. How did I get back yesterday? Jack must have brought me here, he certainly would have. I tried to remember what happened yesterday after I got drunk, I remembered how I kept on shouting Analyn's name to the sky.

"Analyn, if you can hear me up there, I'm truly sorry, I'm sorry, Analyn," 

And then, I could remember Jake holding me up, while I was crying.

"Adrian, Adrian," I hear someone say from outside, it was Ace.

"Sir, Adrian is still in bed, I think you should let him be for now, you know yesterday was March 6th," I heard Angel, the head maid say to him.

"Excuse me?" He yelled at her before barging in.

"You're still in bed at this time? Are you forgetting the mess you brought up at the office?" He started his lectures but I didn't reply, instead I tucked my quilt and tightened my grip on the pillows.

"What? You're still not over that woman? I always knew you were a weakling but this is too much. Adrian, three years have passed , she's gone. You were not supposed for fall for her in the first place, it was supposed to be an act but then she died anyways, so you better man up and take that as the past."

"Ace, don't speak about her that way," I yelled at him.

"Wow, Adrian, wow. Well, you better get over this attitude of yours because in a few week's time, you're going to be engaged to Ellie and I don't think she'd like this."

"I don't care if she does."

"If I could get married to Claire for the company, I see no reason why you shouldn't do the same," he said before finally turning to leave.

I gave a long sigh as I watched him leave but then he looked back,

"Better get dressed and fix you mess."

This was my life, ever since I lost my mum, I've been trying to make my father proud, to show him I deserved his trust, just like my elder brother, Ace, but I was never enough. And three years ago, I made the worse mistake of my life, losing Analyn.