A Helping Hand

It was Melissa, the childhood friend of Blake that was taking care of him in her free time ever since Blake's family died in a car crash. Blake was surprised to see Melissa standing there, looking concerned. "Melissa," he said, his voice thick with exhaustion and lingering fear. "What are you doing here so late?" Melissa responded by saying, "Your heart rate went extremely high. You were at the risk of an heart attack. So I came as soon as my phone notified me." Blake's eyes widened, the fear from his nightmare replaced by a new kind of dread. "Wait, you can monitor my heart rate?" he asked, surprise and a hint of worry in his tone. Melissa sighed, "The smart watch, dummy. Remember when we linked it to my phone?" Blake suddenly remembered. They had linked his smartwatch to her phone earlier in the week, during one of their many discussions about his mental and physical health. "Right," he said, running a hand over his face. "I forgot about that." Melissa looked at him, her expression mixing concern and irritation. "You scared the hell out of me, Blake," she said in a worried tone. "Your heart rate spiked up like crazy. I thought something serious was happening." "My bad. I didn't take my medicine today. I lied to you and said that I took it. Which resulted in me having this nightmare." Melissa's irritation turned into annoyance. "You seriously didn't take your meds? Why the hell did you lie to me?" she scolded. "I told you how important it was to take them everyday." Blake also sighed and defended himself. "The side effects has taken a toll on me and you know that." 

Melissa sighed, her annoyance giving way to a hint of sympathy. "I know, I know," she said, her voice softer now. "But that's why you can't skip them. The side effects are better than what could happen if you have another episode." "You are right. Umm, would you like to stay over now that you are here or will you be heading back?" Blake asked innocently. Melissa seemed a little surprised by his question but nodded after a moment. "Sure, I can stay. You probably shouldn't be alone after a nightmare like that," she said, stepping inside and closing the door behind her. Blake's internal voice, the part of him that was skeptical and often frustrated, decided to chime in. Great, she's here again. Can't get a moment's peace, it said with disdain. Blake responded to the voice saying, "Don't you start again. She is helping us and that's the end of it." The voice in his head grumbled but subsided. It didn't like Melissa, never had, and was always ready to criticize her with biting sarcasm whenever it had the chance. Melissa hung up her coat on the coat rack near the door and made her way to the living room, sinking into the comfortable sofa. She looked around the room, taking in the familiar surroundings, before turning her attention back to Blake. "Are you okay?" she asked, concern evident in her tone. "You still look a little shaken." "Yeah I am okay now. You can watch TV while I try to sleep." Melissa nodded, understanding his need for sleep. "Alright," she said, picking up the remote from the coffee table. "I'll just watch some TV then." As Melisa used the remote to turn on the TV, Blake felt a sudden jolt of fear. The TV flickered on in the same manner as his nightmare, the familiar sight sending a shiver down his spine. He tried to play it off as mere coincidence, but the unease remained. Blake decided to ask a question instead. "The channels do work right? Can you try?" 

Melissa looked at the TV, then at him, sensing his unease. "Yeah, they should work," she said, picking up the remote again. She pressed the channel button, and the TV flipped through various channels normally. Blake felt a wave of relief wash over him as he saw the channels switch normally. It was not a dream, he was truly awake. The familiarity of the situation comforted him, helping to calm his still-racing heart. "Alright. I'll be in my room trying to sleep. Good night and thank you Melissa."

Melissa nodded in understanding, a small smile on her face. "You're welcome," she said softly. "Sleep well, Blake." Blake nodded in response and turned to head back to his room. The nightmare was still fresh in his mind, and he wanted to get as much sleep as he could. He made his way back to his bedroom, closing the door behind him and climbing back into bed. Despite the earlier scare, he managed to drift off to sleep again, the faint sound of the TV from the living room lulling him into slumber.

Blake heard a gentle knock on his room and startled awake. He heard Melissa's voice from the other side of the door and sat up, rubbing his eyes. She said, "Breakfast is ready!" with a tinge of joy in her voice. Blake sluggishly got out of bed, the remnants of his nightmare still lingering in his mind. He grabbed a hoodie from his closet and put it on before making his way to the kitchen, where he could smell the breakfast being cooked. Melissa was already sitting at the table, sipping a cup of coffee as he entered the kitchen. The smell of bacon and eggs was filling the room, making his stomach grumble in anticipation. "I am stealing way too much of your time. You are just like a mother to me." Blake said sheepishly. Melissa looked up from her coffee and chuckled. "I don't mind," she said. "And you know you can't get rid of me that easily."

As soon as Blake heard Melissa's words, his mind was assaulted by a sudden barrage of noise - the same noise that had echoed during his nightmare. His heart began to race once more, sweat beading on his forehead. Melissa noticed the subtle change in Blake's demeanor. She raised an eyebrow in concern. "Are you okay?" she asked, taking in his sweaty, pale expression. Blake was hearing random voices and noises while he was trying to return back to normal. The noises grew louder and more chaotic, overwhelming him as he struggled to regain control of his thoughts. The room seemed to shift and warp around him, the familiar surroundings of his kitchen blending into the nightmare he had just escaped. "I'm okay..." He managed to force the words out, though they sounded weak and unconvincing even to his own ears. Melissa could clearly see that he was anything but okay. The voices became much clearer. Some of them were, "You are just a burden to her", "She wishes that you'd die soon.", "Nobody cares about you." "Kill yourself". The cruel whispers filled his mind, twisting and distorting his thoughts. They were so loud, so impossible to ignore. The voices seemed to be coming from everywhere, from within his own head, from the world around him. Blake finally had enough and yelled, "Stop!". 

His sudden outburst surprised Melissa, her eyes widening in shock. Blake could see the concern on her face, but he couldn't bring himself to tell her what was tormenting him. Everything went back to normal as soon as Melissa got frightened. "I'm so sorry, did I scare you?" Blake asked right away. Melissa shook her head, still a bit shaken. "No, I'm okay," she said, her voice slightly calmer now. "But what was that about? You looked like you were in pain just a moment ago." "It's nothing, nothing at all." He said and took a seat. Melissa looked at him skeptically, sensing that he wasn't being entirely truthful. She knew something was wrong, but she also knew that pushing him wouldn't get her anywhere. "Okay," she said, her voice gentle. "If you say so." Blake sighed and replied, "I'll take my meds today." Melissa's eyebrows went up. She seemed both surprised and relieved. "You will?" she asked, her tone holding a hint of hope. "I will." he assured. Melissa's expression brightened, a small smile tugging at the corners of her lips. "That's good," she said, the worry in her eyes diminishing ever so slightly. "I'm glad you're willing to try." The voice in his head, always so critical and harsh, chimed in with a scoff. "As if taking those pills will change anything," it sneered. "You're still a burden, still a drain on her." "Be quiet, at least let me eat." The voice in his head grumbled but fell silent, giving him a brief respite as he began to eat. The breakfast was simple - eggs and bacon - but in the current situation, it looked like a lavish meal. "Is Griffin doing alright?" Blake asked. Griffin was the brother of Melissa that was hospitalized due to a heart disease. 

Melissa's expression softened as she nodded. "He's doing a bit better," she said, her voice full of worry. "The doctors say that he's responding well to the medication, and his heart rate has stabilized." "Glad to hear it. You sure I am not stealing your time?" Melissa shook her head firmly. "No, you're not stealing my time," she said, her eyes meeting his. "You know I'm here willingly." Blake looked down at his plate and uttered. "I'm sorry." Melissa raised her eyebrows, surprised by the sudden apology. "For what?" she asked, her voice gentle. "You help me so much but I am unable to give you anything back in return." Melissa's expression softened, and she gave him a small smile. "You don't owe me anything, Blake," she said, her tone sincere. "I help you because I care about you, not because I expect something in return."

"But-" Melissa cut him off before he could protest further. "No buts," she said, her voice firm but gentle. "I know you feel guilty, but you don't need to. I'm here for you, and that's not going to change anytime soon." "You are too nice to me. Blake said. It was true, probably the most of the positiveness came from Melissa in his life. Melissa gave him a warm smile, her eyes crinkling at the corners. "Maybe I am," she admitted, a hint of playfulness in her tone. "But that's just who I am. And besides, I think you need someone a little too nice in your life." "You know that Jake invited me for a game night right? It's today. Do you think I should go?" Melissa's expression became thoughtful. She knew how much Blake struggled with social gatherings. "Do you feel up to it?" she asked gently. "I know it can be a lot for you sometimes." "It would be fine if it was only Jake there. But there will be others too. I am afraid to go." 

Melissa nodded, understanding the anxiety that came with social situations. "I see," she said, her voice gentle. "It's okay to feel afraid, though. Those things can be intimidating, especially with new people." Blake's consciousness let out a laugh and responded. "You are such a miserable fuck." The words cut deep, like a cruel knife twisting in his chest. But he had learned to ignore the voice, to push it aside. It's not real, he reminded himself. It's just in his head. Blake then decided to ask her again, "So, should I go or not?" Melissa studied him for a moment, her gaze searching his face. She could see the anxiety there, but also the hint of determination beneath it. "Ultimately, the decision is up to you," she said carefully. "But if you think you can handle it, then I think it could be a good opportunity." The voice in his head began speaking again. "You are nothing without her. Even though I hate her, you are miserable without her." The words stung even more this time. They were true, and he knew it. He had grown dependent on Melissa, on her kindness and her support. But hearing it said out loud, even by this voice that lived in his head, was a harsh reminder of his own weakness. "I think, I think I will go." Blake said. Melissa's lips curled into a small smile. "Okay," she said, a hint of encouragement in her voice. "I think that's a good decision." "I'll finish my food and take the medication next." Blake responded and Melissa nodded, her eyes filled with sympathy. "That's a good plan," she said softly. "Take care of yourself, okay?" "Okay. I assume you'll go after breakfast?" Melissa nodded, confirming his assumption. "Yes, I'll be heading out after breakfast," she said, already standing up from the table. Blake smiled, "I appreciate you, Melissa." Melissa smiled warmly, genuinely touched by his words. "I appreciate you too, Blake," she said softly. "You're a good person, even if you don't believe it yourself sometimes."

Blake's consciousness began speaking again. "You are a bad person who feeds on other people's help. You are like a clingy dog who cannot do anything by himself." The words stung, like a searing brand on his soul. He couldn't deny the truth in them. He had become dependent, reliant on Melissa's goodwill just to survive. But the thought of losing her scared him more than anything. Eventually Blake finishes his food and takes his medication. After seeing this, Melissa leaves to go to work. As the door closed behind Melissa, the house fell into a strange silence. The absence of her presence left an odd emptiness in the air, as if something essential had just been taken away.