20. Chapter 20

While Sakura was at the entrance Rider was on the other end of the corridor, behind the corner, and she was listening to the conversation between Sakura and Tohsaka.

She had felt Sakura being shocked and she immediately reached her, Shirou told her to stay on guard so she did as he said, but she then sensed Tohsaka's smell and presence... why she was here? Should she attack her?

But before she could do anything she got stopped by Shirou who while getting out of the living-room said with a low tone of voice: "Don't worry, she's with us."

"Why she's here?" Rider asked as she turned around to face Shirou.

"Because she now wants to talk with Sakura." Shirou said.

"About what?" Rider asked as she turned her attention back to Sakura and Tohsaka.

"The girl always had the desire to reunite with Sakura," A hooded Caster said as she materialized in the corridor where Shirou and Rider were. "but her responsibility as Tohsaka prevented her from following her desire. Since the circumstances are favorable and there is the possibility, they will reunite, and now, there is no one who is going to stop them."

"Perfect timing Caster." Shirou said as he turned towards her. "I have forgotten to ask you before, do you know what she and the supervisor wanted to do?"

"...It simply turns out that the supervisor had told her to come to the church to discuss the incident since he had some suspect on who it could have been, nothing more or less... but I'm still keeping the man under surveillance."

"I see." Shirou said. After that, he remained in silence for a couple of seconds before he said: "Caster, do you think we should do something about the supervisor now? He may cause unwanted problems in the next future. Yes, I know that his disappearance would attract the attention of both the Church and the Clock Tower, but by the time they will send some agents to investigate we will already get rid of the Grail and anything that can be traced back to us, I'm also sure that with the help of Tohsaka we may make up some excuses and cover anything up."

"...You're right, but I propose to wait at least a pair of days or even weeks. With the mysterious defeat of the three founding families and the sudden disappearance of the war supervisor things may seem a bit too suspect and the two organizations may take some unexpected decisions... but why instead of killing him we don't just brainwash him?" Caster then asked.

"...Yea, it would be better and more secure. ...Anyway, about the thing I wanted to ask you about Sakura-" Shirou started to say before he heard Sakura turning around and her steps getting closer. Both Rider and Caster dematerialized in less than an instant.

"...Senpai... what should I do?" Sakura asked with a confused look as soon she turned the corner and saw him.

"What do you mean? Who is at the door?" Shirou asked.

"...It's... It's Tohsaka Rin. She told me that she wants to talk with me about our families... what should I do?"

"Oh." Shirou said faking to be surprised. "...I can't give you an answer Sakura, but I can ask you just a question: What do you want to do right now?"

"...What do you mean?" She asked confused.

"What do you desire right now? Do you want to speak with her, or not? If you don't want, I'll turn her away right now."

"...No, you don't have to do it..." Sakura said with a bit trembling voice. "Just, what should I do senpai? I just... need a bit of advice... from you." She said as she got closer to him.

Shirou silently looked at Sakura for a very long moment as a bitter taste came to his mouth, a moment later he said: "I think that it's time for the two of you to get closer once again, Sakura." He then patted Sakura on the head and smiled.

Sakura looked down and blushed a bit before she said: "Thank you Senpai. Now... could you leave the living room? I would like to speak with her there."

"Sure, whatever you want Sakura." Shirou said with a smile before turning around. "Just wait a bit, I'll prepare some tea for the two of you in the meantime." He then continued.

Sakura nodded before going back to Tohsaka, and as Shirou went back to the living-room both Caster and Rider materialized there.

"What will they speak about?" Rider asked Caster.

"Rin will simply ask Sakura if she wants to reunite with her, that's it." Caster said.

"...I see." Rider said with a smile. Sakura in the end will live a happy life with her sister, she could not be more than happy for her.

"And of course you will be there to protect them if something should ever happen. For modern magus, the two sisters are prodigies. Even if Sakura knows next to nothing about magic she has an incredibly vast pool of mana, and with the help of her sister, who is willing to form a contract with you, they will be more than able to sustain you with no problems after the destruction of the Grail."

"...What?" Rider asked surprised as she turned to watch Caster.

"Did you thought that after the Grail destruction we would let you simply disappear? Just because you have no wish for the Grail it doesn't mean you should return to the Throne of heroes... or wherever we Anti-heroes go after our deaths. I suppose that you would be more than happy to take care of the two sisters, right?"

"I... I... I don't know what to say..." Rider admitted.

"You don't have to say anything Medusa, you too have suffered a cruel fate, you too deserve to live a peaceful life now." Caster said with a little sad smile. She knew her legend, and she was sure that Rider would be more than happy to take care of the two sisters who would become her new family.

"...Thank you." Rider said with a genuine smile.

"Caster." Shirou then suddenly called her. "Now that we're talking about Sakura, after the war could you erase all of Sakura's memories about her past and all those she has about me?"

After a very long moment, Caster turned towards him and said: "What?"

"You see, only recently I have realized how much I made Sakura suffer." Shirou said as he put the teapot on the stove. "And only now I have realized that if I want to help her to start a new life she must forget of everything that had happened to her. I first thought that ignoring what she wanted would be too cruel, but in the end, this is what I always have done: I ignored her. So ignoring what she wants for one last time will not be too difficult."

"...Shirou, what are you saying?" Rider now asked.

"I want to give Sakura freedom. I want to give her the freedom of living a new life, free from the idea of being sold like an object, free from the idea of being abandoned, free from the years of abuse, free from the horrors that had haunted her until now, free from her love from me. We all know that her feelings for me will hardly ever change, after all I've done for her I'm now a too important figure for her... and now tell me, should I really let Sakura live the rest of her life knowing that the person that saved her and she loves will never reciprocate her feelings? Wouldn't that be cruel?" Shirou asked.

"..." Both Caster and Rider remained in silence as they watched Shirou.

"There will be Tohsaka and you, Rider, to take care of her from now on. There is no need for me anymore, she can, and will start a new life after the war will end. There's no good reason for her to remember what really happened to her or even have a vague idea, she has to forget everything, even if it will change her as a person."

"...That's the most senseless reasoning I've ever heard in my life." Rider said. "Shirou, I never expected you to-"

"Silence Rider!" Shirou suddenly snapped. "You have no say in the matter!"

"...Shirou, Sakura doesn't want to forget about you, she-"

"Do I have to remind you that the only reason you're still alive it's because you are useful to us Rider?! You're here just to do what Caster's orders you, not to give us advice!" Shirou said before he started to slowly turn to watch Rider. "And if we're talking about what Sakura needs I think that you should be the last one to talk. Remind me Rider, what had happened to Sakura while you and she were still in the Matou manor?! And tell me, what were you doing in the meantime?! Do you think that just because we're getting a bit along I have forgotten about all the people that you've assaulted and how you failed to protect her?! Tell me, you think that I've forgotten?!"

"..." Rider remained still and completely speechless.

Sakura was right, something had happened to the boy and right now he was... Stressed? Angry? Nervous?

"I thought the same." Shirou said as he let her go and turned to turn on the stove.

"Shirou, about the thing that you've asked me..." Caster started to say.

"Yes?" Shirou asked as he turned his head around a bit.

"Don't you think that it's a bit too... extreme? I understand why I should erase her memories about her past, but why those about you?" She asked.

"I can just tell you that sometimes extreme actions are necessary, you should know." Shirou just said before he got out of the kitchen and started to walk towards the corridor. "We'll talk about it later after dinner, I'm sorry, but for now I have other things to think about." Shirou continued before he went on calling Sakura and welcoming Tohsaka.

"...Caster, what happened to the boy?" Rider asked. The boy had changed too much in so little time, something big must have happened last night.

"...I... I don't even know from where to start Rider." Caster just said as she coldly watched toward Shirou's direction.

Things were way worse than she first thought about it, she had to keep observing Shirou just to understand what he was planning right now, she was sure that he was thinking about something that she was not going to like.

"Sakura, I've just put the teapot on the stove, the tea will be ready soon." Shirou said as he now walked toward Sakura and Tohsaka.

"Thanks, senpai." Sakura said as she turned around to watch him before she turned to face Tohsaka once again. "Now, Tohsaka senpai, if you would like to-"

"But before that, I have to talk with her a bit." Shirou said as he interrupted her.

"Hmm? Why?" Sakura asked as she turned to face Shirou before she immediately froze and paled a bit.

At that moment Sakura remembered that Shirou had taken part in the Holy Grail War, a war where mages killed each other... and if a mage, like her sister, suddenly arrived uninvited in his home it could be-

"Don't worry Sakura," Rin said from her side as she put her hand on her shoulder. "this is nothing you should be concerned about, it's just... a formality, that's it." She said with a smile.

"Yea, just some formalities between mages, nothing else, you can stay calm." Shirou said with a smile as she watched the clearly preoccupied Sakura.

"Ah, really?" Sakura asked as she turned her head more times to watch both Rin and Shirou, who were nodding in response. "Hmmm, ok then...I'll... I'll await you in the living room." Sakura said before she took a deep breath to calm down, after that, she turned around and she headed toward the living room.

Both Shirou and Rin remained in complete silence as they awaited Sakura to reach the living room, after they heard the door closing they turned to face each other.

"Thanks for coming so soon, Tohsaka." Shirou started to say. "I know that things have been sudden for you, and the things that Caster may have told you have disheartening... but I really had the need to assure myself that Sakura would have someone to look after her... in case something happened before I put an end to the war."

"You don't have to worry Eimya, I too have to take my share of responsibility for what happened to her until now, and for how our... my father treated her." Rin said before sighing.

"So, may I ask you how you want to act?" He then asked her.

"At first I wanted to take things slowly... but now I think that it's better that I take a more direct approach with her. I would like to talk to her and clear everything between us, it will take time to do so, so I wanted to invite her to my home and make her stay there this night."

"I have no problem with it. How you want to reunite with her is entirely up to you... oh, Rider will come with her in case of anything. But you have no problem with it, right?"

"Of course not." Rin simply said as she watched him.

"...I entrust her to you, Tohsaka." Shirou said.

It was now afternoon and it was starting to get dark, and Shirou was at the shopping district with Saber to buy some food, since the refrigerator was already emptying.

This familiar view relaxed him, it was just like everyday life, there was nothing there that could attack or kill him, he could calm down a bit.

The last day had been full of surprises for him, so doing something mundane was perfect to relax and think.

The first thing he thought about was Sakura.

After the war and her memory modification, Sakura will start a new life with Tohsaka and Rider. The two of them would take care of her and make sure that nothing bad could happen to her ever again.

He didn't care if Sakura wanted to remember him or would hate him for what he was about to do, she had to start a new life, so everything of her old life had to be erased, he included. He knew that Caster with her magic had made good work at making sure that Sakura would never suffer from any kind of mental problem, but it was better to change everything from the root, why she had to know that for years she had been abused?

If he was doing something wrong he did not care, Sakura was going to live a happy life without him, that was the only thing that truly mattered, the end of the question.

Then he thought about Illya.

Just yesterday night he thought her to be a simple child who was forced to take part in the war, he was in part right, but the girl was non-other than his older sister, Kiritsugu's daughter.

Just thinking about having a family member made him smile a bit, but an instant later the smile vanished. Illya, after all, had come there not to take part in the war, but to take revenge on him for stealing her father from her. They, in reality, were total strangers and he was more than sure that the girl hated him with all of herself.

Illya was not totally wrong in the end, he had stolen her father in some sense, but it was not a simple subject he could think about right now, he will have to talk to her in the future after the hypnosis will wear off.

He then thought about what should he do with her after the war. He could see that the Einzebern had done something to her body that stopped her growth, he was sure that beyond there was something else wrong with her body, he had to ask Caster to analyze her for good and see what was wrong with her. Maybe just like Sakura she had something else in her that could cause her suffering or even harm her.

Other than that he had to make sure that no one would harm Illya after the war, and that she had to live in a safe place.

Sakura would be protected by Rider and Tohsaka, but now, who could protect Illya? As much he liked the idea of protecting his estranged sister he knew that she hated him and he didn't even deserve doing it. She had believed for over 10 years that he had stolen her father from her, so he was sure that a confrontation or an apology would not do much, but still, he had to find someone who could protect her. Just who could protect-

"Shirou, what's that?" Saber suddenly asked as she pointed to a food stand.

Shirou turned to watch Saber that was pointing to a food stand that made Takoyaki.

He observed Saber for a very long moment as an idea came to his mind, after another moment he said: "That stand makes takoyaki, do you want to taste some? They are good." Shirou said as he handed her some money.

"If you say that they are good there is no reason for me to not taste them." Saber said with a smile before she quickly walked to the stand.

As he watched Saber buying some food for herself Shirou could not help but stare at her intensely, he until now knew what Caster, Sakura, and even Rider would do after the war, but until now he never asked Saber what she would do. He knew that she at first wanted to save her kingdom, but what she wanted to do now? Return to the Throne of Heroes or hang around? Maybe she had changed her mind about her desire?

After a minute Saber came back and with Shirou, she resumed to walk back home while she tasted the street food she had just bought.

"Saber, tell me, what do you want to do after the war?" Shiro asked after some minutes.

"...Now that you make me think about it, I have no idea." Saber admitted bluntly. "After discovering about the corruption of the Grail I started to think about my desire, if it was worth it to undo all the things that I did or not, but at one point I simply gave up thinking about it. Camelot from the very start had always been... very complicated, and in these past weeks I have realized that I could not have done better, no one could have... so I'm just trying to make peace with myself. But you're not asking it because you're interested in what I want, right?"

"Exactly." Shirou just said. There was no need or reason to being subtle with Saber, they were Master and Servant, after all, they knew and trusted each other perfectly.

"Since I have no idea of what to do after the war I will more than gladly listen to your proposal." Saber said. Until now she just limited herself to think about the destruction of the Grail, so she would like to have some new ideas for her future.

Shirou stopped walking and so did Saber at the same time, Shirou turned to face her and said: "Saber, after the war would you like to become Illya's Servant?"

"..." Saber silently watched him.

"I need someone to help and protect her, someone who I trust, someone who also deeply cares about her and her security. There is no other person that fits this description more than you, Saber."

"..." Saber kept silently watching him.

"I know that I'm asking you much, just seeing her remind you of her mother, but you are the only person I can ask this." Shirou said before he bowed. "Please, Saber, protect Illya in my stead after the war."

Saber watched the bowed Shirou without saying anything.

As his Servant she already knew how he felt about the situation of Illya, discovering that she was his sister and that her body had been modified to become the Minor Grail to the point where it blocked her growth had been shocking for him. Then also discovering that she was there to kill him was just another surprise, but it was for this exact reason he had asked her to protect his sister since she hated him. Also, she had been both Kiritsugu's and Shirou's Servant, and she had protected Irisviel in the fourth war, who other had more rights than her to protect Illya now?

Saber put her left hand on Shirou's shoulder and said: "I swear to you Shirou, right here and now, that I shall protect Illya even at the cost of my life. But I will not do it just for you, but for Kiritsugu, and especially Irisviel too." She said with a serious tone as she remembered the 2 people that she just named. She was going to do it in part for Kiritsugu, even if she resented the man he had done her a favor by making her destroy the Grail. And she was going to do it for Irisviel, the sweet woman she had failed to protect, but even if she had failed once she was not going to make the same mistake twice.

"Thank you Saber... I entrust her to you." Shirou said with a sad smile as he rose up from the bow.

"You're more than welcome Shirou, now, let's return home." Saber said with a smile as she handed him the last takoyaki on a stick. "Here, a little gift for you to cherry up." She then said.

"...What kind of gift it is? You just bought them with my money and this one is already half eat-" Shirou started to say before Saber suddenly stuck the takoyaki into his mouth that started to make him choke.

"There's no need to be this grateful Shirou, offers the house." Saber said with a smile.

From her workshop Caster and her copy had just assisted the scene, and they were carefully watching Shirou's image in the crystal ball. They have been doing this all day long...

Caster now had managed to understand what he was planning. After dinner, she had to confront him and expose his plan right in his face, this way they could have their all-night-long conversation, and Shirou was going to carefully listen to her, whether he liked it or not.

It was now 22:00 o'clock, and after dinner, many things had happened.

Sakura had agreed to go to Tohsaka's house to keep talking about the subject of reuniting as a family and to sleep there that night, Shirou saw that Sakura was more than happy about the idea and he was happy for her. For this reason, immediately after dinner both Sakura and Rider went away.

Around that same time Illya started to say that she still had some things at the castle that she wanted to take, her maids told her that it was too late but Illya started to throw a tantrum and after half an hour her maids surrendered and went to take the car, Shirou would have told to Illya that it was too late to go at the castle, but he did not have the courage to tell Illya 'no'. Luckily Saber offered herself voluntarily to escort and remain with Illya at the castle that night in case of something, she also wanted to say that she wanted to spend more time with her, but she did not since there was no need, Shirou already knew.

Right now in the house, there were only Shirou and Caster, and luckily Shirou did not suspect a thing.

After cleaning all the plates and the living room he headed towards Caster's room, as he walked he started to have a strange feeling of being observed, but as he reached Caster's room and knocked the feeling went away, it was finally time to confront her.

The door opened itself and Shirou entered the room where he saw a hooded Caster sitting at a little table in the middle of the room, on which there were 2 cups and a teapot, t was clear that she was already waiting for him.

"Good evening, Caster." Shirou said calmly as he entered the room after he closed the door.

"Good evening, Shirou." Caster told him.

"How's been your day?" He asked as he sat down.

"It been pretty good so far, thank you." Caster said before she started to pour some tea in her's and Shirou's cups.

"Before we start I want to give you my apologies, Caster." Shirou said as he bowed his head. "I'm sorry for my sudden actions yesterday and for Saber pointing her sword at you, truly, I'm-"

"Enough Shirou, as always I know that you did what you did for a good reason, you're not the kind of person to act this way without a valid reason, so there is no need to apologize." Caster said interrumping Shirou.

"...Thank you, Caster." Shirou said with a nod and a smile.

"Now, before we talk about the events of yesterday and the reason you acted that way we should first talk about what we are going to do in the next future about both the war and those who live here, if I'm not wrong you've said the war was not over yet."

"Indeed. First I would like to talk about Illya and then Sakura."

"Sure, tell me what you want."

"...It turns out that Illya is my sister, but I suppose that you knew it already, right?" Shirou asked. After all, Illya had come here just to kill him, so he was sure that Caster had interrogated Illya and she told her the truth, maybe she had confronted Saber about it and they both decided it was better to not speak it with him.

"Yes, you're right."

"Ok, so, I want to ask you more details on what the Einzbern did to her body and how it's going to affect her in the future."

"First of all: Illya is a unique specimen. She is a homunculus, but she was not created in a laboratory, but she is the biological daughter of Kiritsugu and her mother Irisviel. Somehow her mother, who was also a homunculus, was gifted a working womb and she managed to give natural birth to Illya, which is a miracle itself. Now, about what her family did to her, they heavily modified her body before and after her birth to maximize the magical circuits in her body to make her the perfect homunculus and vessel of the Grail, for this reason, her growth rate has been incredibly slowed... and her life expectations are very short."

"...How much?" Shirou said as he clenched a fist under the table.

"Her family has prepared her to act as a living vessel for the Grail of this war, so she was never meant to live longer than that another pair of years. If we don't do something about it she would die in some years or so."

"But you can save her, right?"

"Of course, but the procedures will be complicated since she is a homunculus and they may take entire months, but I'm sure that I'll be able to make Illya have a normal life span in less than 4 months or so from now." Caster admitted. Illya's body had been completely modified and about some years from now her body would start to fall apart on its own, but that was not something any mage coming from the age of the gods could not fix.

"...Thank you, Caster." Shirou said with a genuine smile as he watched his cup. At hearing Caster's words he felt more than joyful, knowing that Illya in the end was going to live a long life sent a shiver of happiness down to his spine. Shirou was so grateful that he had no idea of what he could do to repay this kind of favor to Caster, maybe he had to ask her if she wanted him to do something in particular.

"Then there is Sakura... and about what you've asked me I'm not sure that I can do it. I mean, I can erase all the memories about her past and what had happened to her, I can make her believe that she had never been separated from her sister and that Rider too is her sister, or their guardian... but there is a problem about you." Caster said.

"What is it?" Shirou asked as he snapped out of his thoughts.

"...Just like you've said you are a figure too important for Sakura, way too important than you thought, so I cannot erase you from her memory. I may be able to make her love you no more, but she will always have an incredibly great sense of admiration towards you." Caster said a half-truth.

In reality, Caster had seen Sakura's memories and she saw that in 'all' of her memories where Sakura was happy there was Shirou, not in even one he was missing, and Caster didn't want Sakura to lose all those precious memories about him. He was far too important for her, so important that the only reason she had not killed herself in the past was just because of him. If she had to erase those parts then Sakura would-

"Can't you replace me with Tohsaka or Rider in her memories? There would not be any kind of problem if she should greatly admire one of them." Shirou calmly said before he sipped some tea and immediately started to relax. He wanted Sakura to start a new life, so she had to forget everything, end of the question. He did not care how much important he was to her, he had ignored her all this time long and almost killed her sister, he didn't deserve to be remembered, let alone admired or even loved.

"..." Caster silently watched Shirou as he drank the tea. Did the fool had any idea of how important he was for Sakura? Could it be that he knew and yet he still wanted Sakura to forget everything about him? How many years they have spent together? How many memories about each other had they created? Why their strong bond and friendship had to be erased just because of Shirou's stupid plan? Caster gritted her teeth as she thought about it and anger started to rose.

"Caster?" Shirou said as she watched her.

"Just tell me the truth Shirou, why?" Caster asked. She had enough, there was no need to evade the subject anymore.

"...What do you mean?" Shirou asked as he raised an eyebrow.

"I know what you're planning Shirou, but I need to hear it... why do you want to send away all the people dear to you?"

In that instant Shirou's face became emotionless and he just kept watching Caster.

...Well, he had been stupid. There was no way that someone like Caster would have not noted his little plan... it happened a bit too fast, but oh well, he could guess that this is what happened when you make a half-assed plan during a sleepless night. It was now time to face the consequences of his errors.

"It is because of Archer?! Is he the reason you want to let go those you love?!" Caster asked as she raised her voice. "Why do you want Sakura to forget you?! Why you are not interested to reconcile with your sister?! Why are you even thinking of sending Saber away?! She is your servant Shirou, she is the only person who can truly ever understand you!"

After Caster mentioned Archer Shirou almost flinched a bit, so Caster knew about him too...

Since last night he had no time and reason to think about his alternate future self fate, the man had made the wrong choice, and he didn't have the strength to shoulder the consequences in the end. Luckily Shirou from him had learned a very precious lesson: He was not to regret his actions.

Shirou didn't know what it will happen to him in the future or what he will become, and for now, he didn't care. He had to first think about the people around him, he had to make sure that they would live happily even without him, even without knowing that he had ever existed.

Last night he has absorbed many of Archer's fragmented memories, and he had seen how many people regretfully abandoned him. The man, in the end, was so selfless that he was selfish, so selfish to the point he didn't care if those who cared for him left his side bitterly and regretfully. He thought that it was better this way, but with his selfish decision, he wounded both himself and the people he cared about. And what remained of him in the end? What did he become? What did he regret?

Shirou for a single moment closed his eyes and he saw Archer on his hill of swords.

The man's expression was no longer that one of the strong and determined ally of justice he used to be in the past, he was tired of killing, he was tired of living, he was tired, of everything. He not only had found out that reality was much worse than he first imagined, but he had also realized that his dream, the only reason he had lived until that point, was just a lie, an impossible dream that deceived him and condemned him to eternal suffering. He had sold his soul to Alaya in hope of helping humanity for the rest of his afterlife, not to exterminate it when it was needed it. Shirou watched Archer process all those information once again and losing the last bits of sanity he had left before he started to curse his own existence.

Shirou sighed at the sight of the man, and once again he promised himself that he will not be like him.

'I can always go home, huh? ...Never. I know what kind of pathway stepped in blood I'm taking, Archer, but I have just begun, and I'll follow it until the bitter end.' Shirou thought.

As Shirou opened his eyes to watch her Caster could see just a cold and tempered gaze, the gaze of someone who has made his mind a long time ago. At the sight Caster gritted her teeth once again, Shirou now was an almost spitted image of Archer.

"I'm happy to see that you've noted it Caster, but I'll tell you right now: mind your business. I know that you're grateful to me and you think that you have a debt to repay, but you've made up that debt a long time ago, and you have your own life to think about. There is no longer any reason for you to care about me, or what I will do after the war. If you insist to repay this no longer existing debt, I can only ask you to keep an eye on both Sakura and Illya."

"...Why are you acting this way?" She asked as she clenched her fists.

"If you have seen the same things I did, you should know why. I finally understood why we can't be the hero we always wanted to be... I finally accepted what our true nature is." Shirou said determinedly.

"What do you mean by that, Shirou?" Caster asked as she tried to understand him.

"Answer me this question, Caster. What am I?" Shirou asked instead of answering her.

"...I don't understand, just what are you talking about?" Caster asked as she got more confused.

"What am I, Caster? What are my Element and Origin? What kind of incarnation I am?" Shirou asked her as he kept watching her with a serious look.

"...You are the incarnation of sword." She said after a moment.

"Good, now tell me, what are swords made for?"

"..." Caster remained silent.

"I am a sword." Shirou declared. "I am the incarnation of an object that represents death and conflict. For nature swords are only useful in contests of violence, to spill blood, and to bring death... now, do you know what happens if you get too close to one?"

"It not true!" Caster then snapped. "Why are you now think of yourself like that?! Swords are more than that! Swords are used to defend, protect and avenge the innocents! They are used by those who will fight the evil ones! ...You will not hurt those close to you."

"You're right, but there is only one way a sword can do the things you've said, and it's by killing. Now answer me this question, Caster. You said that I would not hurt those close to me, right? Tell me then, is Tohsaka an evil person? Or is she a good and even forgiving one?" Shirou asked. "...Were all the people that Archer exterminated as Counter Guardian evil? Or they too were victims?"

"What do they have to do with us now?! Shirou, you did not kill Tohsaka, end of the question! And you should realize that she would have attacked and fought you if she discovered that you were a participant in the war! She is not innocent as you think! And Archer was forced to do what he did! You should be the first one to know that he hates both himself and what he is doing! And he is doing everything in his power to stop himself!" Caster exclaimed.

"I do not care how Archer became like that, nor I do not care if Tohsaka wanted to kill me. The only thing I care of is how many innocents victims like Tohsaka, I, almost killed... and it was one... one too many." Shirou said.

"...I always knew that it was my fault that you were turning like this." Caster said with a sad look. "Shirou, you have to know the truth... I... the first day we met I used magic on you. I did it with the intention of preparing you to the idea of killing. Then after we formed our conn-."

"Then I have to thank you, Caster. Thanks to you I opened my eyes and I saw just in time what I had to do."

"...What?" Caster said confused.

"You made me see that there are some evil people in the world, some who really deserve to die. I now realized that they must be stopped in a way or the other, and by doing that, I'll prevent any innocents from ever suffering, I'll prevent any innocent from ever getting involved. If you want an example, look at this war, Caster. Just how many innocent people had died in this war, which usually claims hundreds in not thousands of lives?"

"...This is not like you, Shirou." Caster said. "Don't you see how much diverse you have become since we met? Don't you remember how you wanted to show your father how a real hero acted? I still remember how the first day we met you hated the very idea of killing... you never wanted to hurt anyone even during this war! You only wanted to help those in danger, you were never interested in killing! And if you are like this now is just because of me!" Caster exclaimed.

"You may be right, but tell me, Caster, what should I do? Follow my selfish desires? Or doing what is right? Do I really have to risk the lives of many innocent people just because I want to save them? Just because I do not like to kill monsters who are willing to involve innocent people?" Shirou asked her. "This night I watched Archer's memories, I watched him again and again as he killed millions of innocents, as he got summoned to clean up those unbelievable disasters..." Shirou said before he stopped for a moment, as in an instant he saw the image of a burning city where a black sun floated in the dark sky. "...And as I watched him, I realized why he had to kill all those innocents... why those horrible events happened in the first place. In the majority of those cases, it was just because some monsters like megalomaniacs mages believed themself to be above anything, and they believed themself able to do whatever they wanted. They never cared about the lives of others, in fact, they believed that human lives were something expandable! I saw how some of those monsters didn't care, or even worse, were even pleased and complacent by all the death and destruction that they had caused, and how civilization had almost gone extinct because of them! So what else can someone like me do, if not wage war on those monsters, and remind them that in the end justice will always come for them?! I first thought that after the war ended everything would be over, but I have realized that there will always be people who desire to tear the world apart. I won't let it happen! I will hunt down all of those animals who want to bring chaos upon this world! And the first one to pay will be the last family responsible for the Holy Grail War: the Einzbern!" Shirou said with anger.

"..." Caster remained in complete silence as she watched Shirou's eyes, who when she first met him were always filled with hope and kindness, but now were getting full of unnatural anger and hatred.

"Since I've survived that fire I realized that I couldn't stand even the idea of letting people die without doing something to help them. For this reason, I wanted to be a hero. For this reason, I wanted to become someone who helped those in need of help. But now I've finally realized that I can be something even better, I can prevent anyone from suffering at all, I can-."

"If you keep thinking like this you will not change anything Shirou! You end up like Archer, if not worse! You will make your future only worse! No one will come to save you!" Caster yelled as she slammed her hand on the table and leaned toward him.

"...My ...future?" Shirou said confused after some long moment, as he watched Caster and felt her being very concerned for him. "Caster, do you know that Archer was my future self coming from an alternative timeline... right?" He then asked

"...What?" Caster asked confused.

"Don't tell me that until now you thought Archer was my future self..." Shirou said as he watched the confused Caster.

"...But, he told me that... No, I... I've betrayed-" Caster started to say as she remembered the harsh words that Archer told her the night before. Since last night she could not think of anything else. She really wanted to know what she had done to Shirou and why... but now it turns out he was an alternative version? So, did she ever betrayed him in the future?

"Let me explain to you. Archer, who came from another timeline in which he never saved you, after the war took the path to be a hero, and then at one point he sold his soul to Alaya since at the times he wanted and needed to have more power to save the people in need of help... but after that, he made the most stupid decision of his life. After he got captured by those who betrayed him he didn't fight back, you know why? Because he really believed that he would have been able to save way more people in his afterlife, so he simply surrendered and died with no 'regrets'... well, he then learned his lesson the hard way. Anyway, at one point after he became a Counter Guardian he wanted to end it once and for all, so he thought that if he managed to kill his past self during the Grail war he would be able to erase his own existence. But he has forgotten, or maybe ignores, the fact that he is both a Heroic Spirit and Counter Guardian that lives outside time and space. He now is taking part in all the possible wars from every possible dimension in the hope of finding and killing his past self, but even if in millions of years he should be able to do it he would not be able to erase his existence, as I said before, he now lives out of time and space, there is nothing he can do anymore. You can just hope that out there, sooner or later, someone will change his mind and will be able to make Archer make peace with himself." Shirou said calmly.

As Caster watched Shirou and heard his words she could not believe it.

'How can you speak so calmly about it?! You've seen what happened to your other self! You had seen how he got betrayed by everyone and everything! And you talk about it as if it was nothing important! He had been stupid?! He had learned his lesson the hard way?! YOU ABSOLUTE FOOL! HE GAVE UP EVERYTHING IN THE HOPE OF SAVING OTHERS!' Caster thought angrily.

Shirou had seen how much his other self was suffering, how desperate he was, how many times he had been betrayed, how many times he had been abandoned, and how much he desired to die... and yet Shirou didn't care and just killed the man as soon he saw him. Why? Caster kept watching the calm Shirou as anger only kept rising in her. Why he acted that way?! Why he wanted to leave everyone behind?! For what reason he didn't care what would happen to him?! It was almost like he too...

"It seems that you have become a bit too emotional Caster, it's better that we stop talking about it." Shirou calmly said as he slowly got up and started to walk at the door. Caster may have seen too many things thanks to their connection and now she was too concerned for him.

"I understand now... the truth is that you always hated yourself Shirou." Caster said while greeting her teeth as she came to the same conclusion she did with Archer.

Shirou stopped walking and remained silent.

"...You hate yourself. Your survival guilt made you hate yourself for surviving the catastrophe from the very beginning of your life. Maybe someone could have helped you, but you lived your childhood with no one showing you how to love yourself. You never had someone who really cared for you, the only parental figure that you had was an absent-minded man who could not even take care of himself... I'm sure he had the courage of thinking about his daughter while he ignored the child who took care of him. After all, he was the same person who had the courage to disappear for entire months and leave you alone for who knows why... and then even had the courage of dying in front of you after he passed the dream that condemned him... the same dream who has eternally condemned your other self." Caster said with anger as he cursed the name of Kiritsugu Emiya.

Shirou started to turn around, even if Caster was right about Kiritsugu he could not let her talk bad about him, he had not been the best father ever but he was still a decent one. He was there thanks to him in the first place, if it hadn't been for him he would have died that night, he could not let her talk bad about his savior and hero.

"Then you had the great misfortune of finding me, and I involved you in the Holy Grail War. I distorted you since the very first day we met and then you were forced to do things that you would have never done. I made you think that all the mages that took part in this war were evil monsters, then because of what you discovered had happened to Sakura your guilt just became stronger, just like that belif, and for exactly this reason you attacked Tohsaka thinking that she was just a ruthless mage. Shirou, all the things you did until now, all of your mistakes, they were all my fault!" Caster said as she placed a hand on her heart.

Shirou remained silent as he watched her with a cold look.

"But I can make up for it, I swear that I can help you Shirou." Caster then started to say. "It will take time but I will be able to make you understand that you don't have to go alone on your journey. The world is already a hard and lonely place, you do not have to follow your dream or objective alone, you don't have to send away the others who want to stay with you. If you carry too much weight alone sooner or later you will be crushed by it!"

After a long moment Shirou just asked: "What others?"

Caster started to open her mouth, but she stopped. She started to remember how all those who accompanied Archer in life had abandoned him, betrayed him, or even died as they tried to follow him. No matter who they were or what they were capable of doing, no one ever remained to his side. Because of his self-destructive nature, Shirou was a danger not only to himself, but to others too.

So that was his great plan? To make sure that others would not suffer because of him he would turn them away and towards better lives while he went on whatever damned, bloodied, and lonely road he wanted to take?! NEVER! SHE WILL NOT LET HIM GO! SHE REFUSES HIS DESIRE!

As Shirou had turned around and was about to open the door the lights of the room suddenly went out and he heard Caster suddenly saying: "But I'm different."

Shirou froze for a moment as he started to have a bad feeling, he turned around just to see on the other side of the room a now stood up Caster who intensely watched him.

Despite the almost total darkness he could see Caster's luminescent eyes under her hood, the same deep eyes that have always fascinated and calmed him, but now he noted something wrong. He could see that deep into those eyes there was something obscure... deeply disturbing... almost mad.

"Where do you think you're going Shirou?" Caster asked as she started to slowly walk toward him.

Shirou didn't know why, but he had to get out of there as soon as possible! He turned around as fast he could, but he noted that for some reason his movements were slower than usual, and after he managed to open the door to get out of the room he stopped after he saw a hooded Caster in front of him.

After a second he realized that what was standing in front of him was a copy of Caster, but before he could do anything said copy placed a hand on his chest and said: "It's all your fault."

An instant later Shirou felt something like electroshock going off in his chest and he fell to the ground, paralyzed.

"Do I have to remind you that I always obtain what I want?" Caster continued as she got closer to the fallen Shirou.

"C-Caster, w-w-why are you d-doing this?" Shirou asked with great difficulty.

"...You don't understand, do you? I care for you Shirou, really." Caster simply said.

"W-What are you going t-to do?" Shirou then asked. He was now at Caster's mercy, he had no idea of what he had done to make her so angry or act in that way, and now he had no idea of what she was about to do to him.

"I'll show you how to love yourself, Shirou." Caster said as she took off her hood and watched him.

"Y-You can't- ...wait, what?" Shirou asked confused after a very long moment.

"You know Shirou, from the very start I was glad to have met you." Caster calmly said before sighing a bit, as she crouched to closely watch Shirou who was on the ground. "After the first week we have passed together I started to respect you, I liked the fact that not only you did not judge me, you were even willing to help me by taking part in a war that you fully knew was very dangerous. After some time I started to see you like a little brother since, you know, you remind me of him a bit and we started to get closer... but now I have to guess that I cared for you way more than I first imagined." Caster said as she watched Shirou with sad eyes.

"..." Shirou remained silent as he watched Caster talking. What was she talking about?

"Even if we have spent just more than a month together I've seen you mature and grow Shirou. I've known everything you did until now, I've seen how hard you trained, I've seen how no enemy could stop you... mages, old friends, monsters, enforcers, servants... yourself... you killed them all with no hesitation. I've always thought that in the future you would grow up to be a strong man that would never give up or live his life in regret... then I met Archer. Do you know how it feels to see someone you care about wishing for death? Do you know how it feels to know that the person you care about will live the rest of his existence in complete solitude and hate themself to the point they want to erase their own existence? Do you know how it feels to be despited by them and called witch and traitor?" Caster asked with a sad tone as her eyes started to get watery.

"Caster, I'm not Archer, and I will not be like him" Shirou reminded her. He didn't know what Archer told her or how he managed to stay alive long enough that Caster was able to find and speak with him, but he now knew Archer had said something that had hurt Caster.

"Now I know, but if you keep going on the road where you are heading the only difference between the two of you will be that even if you condemn yourself you will not regret your choice... But you will still live, fight, and die, in complete solitude. Even I, with all the horrible and selfish things that I've done in life, I've spent the last and best years of my life surrounded by some of my sons and daughters. Yes, they deep down hated me and one of them killed me, but still, I did not die alone like you. I can even say that I never hated myself so much to the point where I was ready to throw my life at any time, or even where I was willing to travel back in time to kill myself by committing a time paradox to erase my existence... can you say the same Shirou?"

"..." Shirou remained speechless.

"How it is possible that a cruel person like me ended having a better life than you? You've always been so sweet and caring with all the people around yourself... and yet you've always been the first one to be betrayed and left alone." Caster said as she started to slowly caress Shirou's head. "...You do not deserve that kind of lonely life Shirou, let alone those kinds of deaths." She said after a moment as she recalled the hanged and impaled Archer.

"..." Shirou didn't know what to say, so he remained in silence as Caster caressed him.

"I was so scared at first... after Archer called me a traitor I thought I had betrayed you in the future and I feared that you knew of whatever I did. I had no idea of what to do next or how to act, so I had called Rider to my side in case something happened. Immediately after I started to observe you and Saber to see if you were planning something against me... I was relieved to see that I was wrong, but I'm even more relieved to see that I never betrayed you in the first place." Caster said with a little smile.

"...Did you really thought that I would have plotted something against you?" Shirou asked a bit incredulous.

"...I did not know." Caster admitted ashamed. "I had no idea how I had betrayed you, but after Archer told me that he had killed me I was sure I did something... horrible. I had no idea what kind of cruelty the other me did to him... and I thought that it would make you hate me too... I'm sorry." Caster said as she recalled Archer's cold and lifeless stare.

"You do not have to worry Caster, those were just Archer's lies. Because of the connection between me and him he probably knew that the two of us were close and he said those words just to hurt you." Shirou said with a little smile as he tried to comfort Caster.

"...It's not that Shirou. I can sense if someone speaks the truth, and I could tell that he really had killed me."

"...Well, even if it's true it doesn't matter now, he came from another timeline and now he is dead, there is no need to think about him anymore." Shirou told her bluntly. He had no idea of what he could now say to Caster to calm her down.

"...*Sigh* Just how can you speak about him so coldly?" Caster asked.

"I have no reason to feel bad for him. He was weak and he made the wrong choices, he now is just paying the consequences." Shirou simply said. As soon he said those words he could see Caster grimace.

"Don't you see now? No matter what happens to you or other versions of yourself, you will always be... harsh. Why are you like this toward yourself? Why you do not care about what happens to you? Do you hate yourself that much?" Caster asked sadly as she started to caress Shirou's right cheek. "...But you do not have to worry about it, I will help you. I will now show you the many ways a person can and should be loved, Shirou." Caster said with a little smile before her copy closed the door of the room.

*The morning after*

It was now morning and Shirou was making breakfast while Caster was drinking a cup of tea in the living-room.

The others would return toward lunch, so that morning there were just the 2 of them.

As he cooked Shirou was thinking about last night's events. After Caster told him that she would show him the many ways a person could be loved he, as a healthy young man, immediately jumped to the conclusion that Caster wanted to make a certain nocturnal activity.

He was more than surprised (and relieved for some strange reason) when Caster just started to cuddle him and then proceeded to talk with him almost all night long. That night they discussed about their dreams, their hopes, what they wanted to do after the war, about each other past, about Archer, his actions, and his regrets.

Shirou didn't know if the one how was supposed to be comforted that night was him since at times Caster used him as some kind of teddy bear and hugged him closely, but he did relax in the end. Knowing what happened to his other self had shattered Caster, and the fact that he didn't care about the fate of the man just made the situation worse.

At one point while speaking with her in the middle of the night he doze off and fell asleep on Caster's lap, some hours later when he woke up he could feel that he was still resting on her lap. As he opened his eyes a bit could see that it was already morning, so he decided that it was better to go and prepare breakfast. At that point he fully opened his eyes and looked up, then he froze. He could see that Caster was fully awake, and she was still watching him... with her empty eyes.

As they watched each other in the eyes Shirou started to feel uncomfortable, the feeling of uneasiness that Caster now gave him was very hard to describe. He could not help but find creepy, if not outright scary, the way she was now watching him, in fact, Shirou started to wonder what she was thinking.

After a pair of seconds, Caster simply blinked and smiled, and Shirou was able to move once again, as if before a spell had been cast on him. After that both Shirou and Caster silently got out of the room, Shirou went to clean himself while Caster went into the living room.

After some minutes Shirou got out of the bathroom and went to make breakfast and some tea for Caster, since he had woken up he had yet to say a word to her, but he felt that it was not necessary.

Since last night he had this new, and yet familiar, heartwarming sensation in his chest that made him feel better. Even if that night he had slept something around 3 hours he right now was feeling very good. Even if he had to put an end to the war and he was sure that something dangerous had yet to happen he was completely calm, he felt that there was someone who would always stay to his side to help and support him... Shirou started to wonder if this was what it felt to be loved.

Caster was now sipping some tea and she was thinking about last night's event.

Almost everything went just as planned.

Since she had used magic on Sakura, Tohsaka, and Illya she now could control or influence their actions, and yesterday she had made sure to get rid of all the other inhabitants of the home.

Getting rid of Sakura and Rider was pretty simple since she controlled them both in a way or the other. Then there were Illya and her maids, at first Caster thought that those two would create some problems, but luckily Illya just pressed them until they surrendered and did as their master said. In the end, the only one remaining was Saber, the biggest obstacle, but just like she expected Saber acted as a knight and offered herself voluntarily to guard and escort the little and unprotected Illya to her castle... No one now could stop her now.

After dinner, she had the time to prepare herself for her 'little talk' with Shirou. She made the special tea for them, she finished making the little and very complex bounded field around her room to isolate them in case someone suddenly came back, and she deployed the copy of herself out of the room just in case of necessity.

At first, she wanted to talk in a civilized manner with Shirou, the drug she had put in the tea not only relaxed the body, but the mind too, in the sense where Shirou would be sincere, say the absolute truth, and be more open to new ideas... but the things that he said last night were less than pleasant for her.

Then seeing Shirou staring at her the same way Archer did disturb her deeply, and the fact that Shirou, even knowing what could happen to him if he took that road just made her... angry?

At one point her feelings had started to have the best of her and when she saw Shirou turning his back on her just like Archer did, she... snapped. When she came back to her senses Shirou was already on the ground and she was walking toward him.

She could see that the relaxing drug she had put in the tea had worked and slowed Shirou just enough from running away, then after her copy paralyzed him she finally had Shirou all for herself.

As she walked to the fallen Shirou she had no idea of what to do with him since this was not what she had planned, so she just crouched and started to talk with him a bit to calm both herself and him, and to think of what to do next. After that she took him on the futon and made him rest on her lap as they talked, they remained there for a while before Shirou was able to move again.

She was more than happy with how things turned out that night, they spent the majority of the time talking and relaxing with each other, and seeing how Shirou relaxed when she caressed him was a just bonus.

After Shirou fell asleep she had spent all night long watching him more closely than usual, she herself was surprised by her actions, but after a while, she simply realized that she didn't want to let Shirou go, she didn't want him to get away from her... and go to condemn himself.

As she watched the sleeping Shirou she had remembered her plan about having a person to watch over Shirou. As she thought about it she recalled other painful memories from that man, and she saw once again how no one had the strength or will to stay with him.

Despite the fact that Archer had saved and helped them all those ungrateful bastards had left him to die alone. Not even one of them was there to try to save him, not even one of them was there to watch him die, not even one of them cared about his fate. They probably went on with their lives and had even forgotten the man that had helped them in their time of need... but she was different.

"Don't worry, I'm here." Caster whispered to the sleeping Shirou as she caressed him.

If she wanted to do something right she would do it herself, and she will remain with him. All the people that Shirou loved had abandoned him and left him alone, but she would be different.

As she watched the sleeping Shirou Caster swore to herself to never leave him, no matter where he went or what he went to do, she would never let this dummy go at condemning himself.

Caster then took a deep breath before she sipped once again some of her tea, since Shirou had woken up they had to yet say a word to each other, not that there was any need, she could tell and feel that they now were closer than ever, but she still had an important question to ask him...

"Why Archer?" Caster suddenly asked.

"What do you mean?"

"Why he had become an Archer? I mean, you are the incarnation of Sword and you are able to recreate and use any blade, so you should be summoned as Saber, right? But since you magically summon swords I suppose that you could also be summoned as Caster... so why Archer?"

"...Now that you make me think of it years ago I was in the Archery club, I was pretty good with the bow." Shirou said as he stopped cooking for a moment.

"...That's it? Years ago you were good with the bow?" Caster asked as she raised an eyebrow.

"Yes." Shirou simply answered.

"...I see." Caster simply said before she returned to drink her tea. As always, Shirou was always full of surprises, in a way or the another.