Looking For the Liquor Worm (Part Eight)

Fang Yuan slowly stood up, real careful, like he was defusing a bomb. But then, another voice dropped, shaking like a chihuahua in a blizzard. "I'll give you anything! Just don't cancel me, Flower Wine Monk, please!"

"Wait, hol' up..." Fang Yuan frowned, then spun around, and it hit him. On the wall in front of him, light and shadow were glitching, forming a whole scene.

A skinny, villain-coded Gu Master was standing on a mountain peak, flexing. Another Gu Master was literally begging at his feet. Around them was a crater, rubble everywhere, giving off major "after a boss fight" vibes.

Nearby, a group of alphas were watching, their faces giving off "I'm traumatized" energy.

In the center of the scene, the victorious Gu Master threw his head back and cackled. "LOL, Gooner Yue's golden boy, Rank 5 at like, 20? Thought you were a main character, but you're just a side quest!"

The laughing Gu Master had snake eyes. He was rocking pink robes, his sleeves flowing like a TikTok transition. His robe was open at the chest, flexing his pale, ripped physique. But the most iconic thing? His bald head, shining like a glazed donut.

"That's Flower Wine Monk, no cap!" Fang Yuan instantly recognized him.

"Compared to Sir Flower Wine, I'm just a random NPC! I was straight-up delusional, not recognizing your GOAT status and dissing you. Sir Flower Wine, please remember we gave you snacks and don't cancel me!" The prostrating Gu Master was shaking like a bad internet connection, sweating buckets, tears and snot mixing like a chaotic smoothie.

Fang Yuan squinted, recognizing the other Gu Master's fit. It was the Gooner Yue clan head's! And the face? Fourth gen clan leader, no cap!

Those old dudes? Probably the clan alphas, giving off major "boomer" vibes.

"Hospitality? You're capping! I came to trade, stones for your moon orchids, fair and square. But you were plotting, pretending to be friendly, inviting me to a poisoned dinner party. You underestimate me. I'm Flower Wine Monk, I don't get got that easily!"

Flower Wine Monk pointed at the kneeling clan leader, sneering. "If you weren't trying to pull a fast one, we'd be chilling. You wanted my head for clout, you played yourself!"

"Sir, don't delete me!" The clan leader wailed, crawling to Flower Wine Monk's feet, clinging to his leg like a desperate fan.

"Sir, my clan has a stone farm, primeval stones for days! We got moon orchids in a secret cave! Take my Enslavement Gu, I'll be your simp! My life is your subscription!"

Fang Yuan was speechless, giving off major "uncomfortable silence" energy. The alphas in the picture looked like they were having a full-on existential crisis.

Flower Wine Monk's anger cooled, giving off major "chill vibes". His eyes flashed. "Enslavement Gu? That's a Rank 5, rarer than a shiny Pokémon. Think I just have a spare? But you're poisoned by my Single Gate Poison Gu, so you're my puppet. Fine. 3,000 moon orchids and 3,000 primeval stones, weekly. I'll slide by for the deliveries and give you a temporary antidote, I guess."

"OMG, thank you, sir! Thank you, bestie!" The fourth gen clan head was sobbing like a TikTok influencer who just got canceled during an apology video, kowtowing non-stop, his forehead bleeding like he just tried a DIY piercing.

"Hmph, stop simping! I hate that! Gooner Yue's golden boy, Rank 5 fighter, major L! You better serve me right. Your life's on the line... Oof!" Flower Wine Monk suddenly yelped, his face doing a full-on jumpscare.

He yeeted the clan head away, staggering back like he just saw a ghost, yelling, "How do you still have a Gu?! You're cheating!"

The clan head, clutching his stomach like he's having a stomachache after eating too much Chipotle, spat out blood. He struggled to his feet, a sly smirk spreading across his face like a meme. "Heh heh heh, anyone can cancel a demon! This Gu is Moonshadow, the ultimate stealth mode. Even though it's just Rank 4, it can mute your primeval sea! We were throwing hands, you're low on Gu. How can you counter? Just become my simp, and maybe you won't get ratioed!"

Flower Wine Monk went full rage mode, screaming, "Nah, I'm good!"

He zipped forward like a lag switch, a punch landing on the clan head's heart, giving off major "instant karma" vibes.

The clan head didn't expect that level of aggression, even with his primeval sea on mute. He was sent flying like a yeeted controller, landing like a broken mannequin.

Thump.

He coughed up a whole lotta red juice, mixed with his insides, giving off major "gore warning" vibes.

"Yo, are you on crack? We could've just had a chill convo..." He glared at Flower Wine Monk, his lips barely moving, giving off major "last words" vibes. His sentence cut out, his legs gave out, his head flopped to the side. GG.

"Clan head? Nah, he's gone!"

"Sigma cultivators are all straight-up psychos!"

"Cancel him! Avenge the clan leader! His free trial of living's just expired!"

"He's hit with Moonshadow Gu, his primeval essence is muted. He's cooked!"

The elders watching from the sidelines went full Karen mode, screaming and swarming the area like a Black Friday sale.

"LOL, y'all want smoke? Come get it!" Flower Wine Monk yelled, charging headfirst into the mosh pit.

A chaotic brawl broke out, Flower Wine Monk quickly dominating, giving off major "main character" energy. Soon, the elders were all floored, some injured, some straight-up deleted. Just as Flower Wine Monk was about to finish his killstreak, his face did a 180, and he clutched his stomach. "Bruh, not now!"

"I'll be back for the rematch," Flower Wine Monk snarled, glaring at the surviving elders like he's about to drop a diss track. He zipped off like he just hit a speed boost, vanishing into the woods, giving off major "plot armor" vibes.

"Compared to Sir Flower Wine, I'm just a random NPC! I was straight-up delusional, not recognizing your GOAT status and dissing you. Sir Flower Wine, please remember we gave you snacks and don't cancel me!"

"Hospitality? You're capping! I came to trade, stones for your moon orchids, fair and square. But you were plotting, pretending to be friendly, inviting me to a poisoned dinner party. You underestimate me. I'm Flower Wine Monk, I don't get got that easily!"

The scene replayed itself on a loop.