The Return Home

I couldn't quite put my hands on the sole cause for my lack of sleep lately. I paced around my room in my school's hostel for a bit before stopping in front of the mirror to stare at my reflection. I had dark circles under my eyes and they were even more puffy than usual. My hair was tied in a basic bun because in between studying for exams and trying not to lose my patience with Tomi, my roommate, I didn't have the time to obsess over my looks. I was dressed in plain lilac loungewear, two piece; shorts and a t- shirt that was twice my size. Sometimes, I liked to buy clothes that were larger than my small 5"3 frame. Thankfully, my melanin skin didn't react to the water at school this semester so I was doing fine. The issue was, my roommate Tomi had turned into a witch who only came alive at night. Why else would anyone wake up at exactly 2 in the early morning and scream their lungs out? She had done this consistently for the last two weeks, and today, finally, her family was in school to take her home. Tomi looked morose the other day when she entered the room to pick up the last of her belongings. "Powei," she began, "I know that coping with me this past week hasn't been easy, and I'm usually not like this. I don't understand why the nightmares have been so reoccurring." She sighed, tugging at the sleeves of her denim jacket. I forced a smile on my face and dropped my reading classes. I still had one more examination to write before the end of this semester, and due to Tomi's never-ending night sessions, I couldn't read at night in my room any longer, so I had to make the most use of the day. Thankfully, she was leaving. "At least you're done with your exams and going home with your family. I'm sure things will improve," I said as she nodded, a small smile gracing her lips but it didn't reach her eyes. "Again, thank you for your understanding, and I'm deeply sorry." She looked at me one last time before leaving the room and closing the door. I sighed in relief at the thought of the way I slept like a baby last night because Tomi's screams weren't there to wake me up. I would resume school quite early for my last semester so that I wouldn't be in the same room with a psycho again. I walked away from the mirror and sat on my bed, shut my language communications textbook before laying flat on my back, staring at the ceiling. I closed my eyes briefly and almost felt the much-needed sleep kicking in until I remembered the other reason keeping me awake as much as Tomi. It was like I had just subtly moved from frying pan to fire. The problem with Tomi was solved, but another one glared at me—going home for Christmas. "Oh, Powei, get over yourself. There's no way you could escape this." I said to myself. It wasn't like I didn't enjoy being home, but the drama that came with it was beyond me, especially when my father was around. I would be excited to go home if he wasn't there. Christmas was much more enjoyable with just my mother and siblings. Last Christmas was terrible. For the first time in five years, my father had decided to grace us with his presence and spend Christmas with us. From the incessant shouting and constant fights between him and my mother, my father nagged at my siblings and me to always clean the house, and even if we scraped the tiles with our tongues, it was never clean enough for him. My mind recalled the most dramatic and unforgettable episode with him last Christmas. "Powei!" My father yelled from his room upstairs. The thing with my father was, if he called you once, he didn't care if you had to fly from wherever you were; he must not call your name a second time before you appeared in his presence. Unfortunately for me, I was battling cramps, my mother wasn't home, and neither was my immediate older brother. I was in hell, literally and figuratively. I walked as fast as I could to his room; sure enough, he had the meanest scowl as he awaited me. "Aren't you in this house with me?" he asked, his mustache moving with his mouth as he spoke to me. His bald head was glowing under the light in his bedroom, and his fair skin shimmered. My father was very handsome, so it's a no brainer why my mother fell for him. She went for looks and abandoned character. I tried to hide my pain, clutching my belly as I answered him, "Yes, sir." "So why did it take you so long to reach here?" "Nothing, sir." He looked at me from up to down, like he wanted to say more, but he just shook his head and continued. "See those two boxes? I don't want to see them in this room a second longer. Grab them both and throw them away, " he stated in a matter-of-fact tone. My father and mother didn't share the same room, but I also knew that whatever he ordered me to throw out had something to do with my mother. I didn't bother arguing; I could never, not if I wanted to sleep on the fence tonight. I grabbed the two boxes, and as I walked out of his room and climbed the stairs, I immediately went to my room and dropped the boxes there before going back to sleep as it was my only source of relief from this pain I was feeling. It was the wails of my mother that woke me up from my pain-induced sleep that evening. The boxes my father had ordered me to throw out contained pictures and albums of the entire family. From the wedding pictures of my parents to our baby pictures. Everything. When I had dropped the boxes in my room, I didn't bother to open them because I was in so much pain from the cramps. I heard my mother walk into her room in tears, and that was when I got up from my bed. I knocked on her door and could hear her sniffing as she said, "Go away, Powei, I want to be alone." "Mommy, I have the boxes. Daddy asked me to throw them away, but I didn't." I raised my hands to knock on her door. The door to my mother's room swung open, and as soon as I took my first step in, she engulfed me with a tight hug. Her beautiful, fair skin shone under the lights of our walkway, and her eyes glowed with happiness and relief. I loved hugging my mother because of how lovely she smelled. She smelled like vanilla and most of all, home. People usually told me I was my mother's replica. Like she had told God to copy and paste us, but I never saw the resemblance until I was wrapped tightly in her arms that moment. Was it because of how vulnerable this moment was? Was that why I could finally see it? Again, I never could understand why my mother married my father. A man who could throw away sentimental pictures without caring how it would affect his wife. "God bless you." My mother said with a bright smile, wiping her eyes clean. There was life in her brown eyes again and this almost brought tears to my eyes. I blinked severally in a bid to chase the tears away. "Let's go to your room and see them." She added as I nodded, happy that I could, at least, make my mother happy today. Her blue boubou dress trailed on the floor as she walked in front of me. That Christmas, the day my father left home , I earnestly prayed to God that there was never a reason for him to be home during festivities. His presence only killed the joy. The shrill sound of my iPhone vibrating right next to my textbook on my bed brought me out of my reverie. I reached for it to see who was calling. It was my second eldest brother calling. "Brother Deinyeifa eleo." I greeted as soon as I answered the phone. I wasn't part of the three major tribes in my country. We were from the minor tribes—the South-South—and that's exactly how we exchanged greetings with older adults. "Powei baby, Dooo." He responded "How are you now?" Deinyeifa's voice on the other end sounded more bubbly than usual. Ever since he began his journey to be called to the bar, he had been reading back to back and was always grumpy. I could understand the frustration he was feeling because this was his future and it wasn't something he could just give up. My brother loved the law as a discipline and he was doing everything to make a first class. Everybody in the family had decided to give him space, so I was extra surprised by his call. "I'm fine. How are you doing, and how is law school treating you?" "Same old. When are you writing your last paper again?" "Tomorrow." I already knew where this question was leading. He would next ask when the driver would get me so I could go home. I had this exact conversation on the phone two nights ago with my eldest brother, Tamuno. "And have you packed all your stuff?" I rolled my eyes. "Do I have to go home? Can't I come stay with you?" "What kind of question is that? That's practically impossible. You want to come to my hostel off campus? " he laughed, and I could almost swear he was also shaking his head. "If you don't want to go home because you're scared of seeing your father, good news: He's not coming home for Christmas." I instantly shot up from my bed and got into a sitting position. A large smile spread across my face as I felt instant relief in my heart.This news was music to my ears. "Did mommy tell you that herself?" "Yep. So it's just you, Tari and mom. What am I even saying? Just you and mom because you know Tari is one leg in, one leg out." He finished, laughing. Tari just finished medical school and was currently on his internship. He's also been stressed. In between medical school and keeping up with his plethora of ladies, he was going through a lot. Of all the children, mommy prayed about him the most. "I better finish packing up then." I couldn't keep the excitement that was bubbling within me. "Bad child. Just look at how excited you are after hearing your father isn't coming home for Christmas. I'm shaking my head for you, " he said as I laughed. I knew he was teasing me, but deep down, we both felt the same way about our father not being home for Christmas. It was better this way, for all our sakes and our sanity. "I have to get back to reading. I'll call you when I get home, probably the day after tomorrow." "No problem. Take care." With that, he ended the call. With a content smile, I dropped my phone on the bed, picked up my textbooks and jotter, and headed to my reading table to continue reading. *** "My baby," my mother's face glowed with a smile as soon as I entered our home. She stood up from the beige couch in our living room and spread her hands wide for a hug. She was dressed in a dark brown boubou dress that was also beaded, her hair packed in a beautiful, sleek ponytail. I could see the traces of gray hair as she reached for me but none of that mattered. I was home. My smile was so wide as I rushed into her arms and hugged her tightly. I inhaled my mother's scent deeply with a big smile, her signature vanilla cream scent filling my nostrils. "I missed you so much, Mommy," my words came out, all muffled between the hug. She gave my back one last pat before finally pulling away from me. The house smelled like my mother had just finished cooking, and I couldn't wait! I looked into my mother's eyes; there were no dark circles under her eyes this time, meaning she hadn't been doing many night shifts. My mother was a nurse in a private hospital. "Your skin is glowing, mama. What's the secret? I'm about to invade your skincare stash," I teased her as she laughed. Banke, our live-in house help, had already carried all my stuff upstairs to my room, so I tossed my handbag on the dining table before my mother and I returned to sit on the couch. "I don't want to see your hands near my stash. Do you know how much skincare costs these days?" My mother complained "Tell me about it. How have you been? And work? Any more night shifts?" "Thankfully, new staff was hired, so I can stay off night shifts for now. Go upstairs and freshen up. I made your favorite." She announced as I squealed, rising up from the couch with utmost eagerness. This was the best part about being home. Eating good food because Lord knows the food they served at the cafeteria back in school could easily serve as a begger's meal. "Pounded yam and vegetable soup? Oh, Jesus! I'm sat!" I was just about to head for the stairs when I paused remembering that I had an older brother who was supposed to be here, too. "Where's Tari?" "Oh, that one! He had a free day today, so he is out on a date with Vicky." She smiled as I sighed, walking back to pick up my handbag from the dining table before I turned back to look at my mother. "Do you think this relationship will last this time?" I resisted the urge to laugh, but Tari's love life was messy. He had been in three serious relationships in the last two years, and we met all three. Right now, my mother and I were over meeting anyone he brought home unless it was sure to lead somewhere. "Just leave your brother alone, okay? Now hurry up while I serve your food." I couldn't believe how much I missed my room until I opened the white wooden door leading to it. Everything was just as I had left it, but it was clean. Banke had done a wonderful job. My bookshelf was well arranged with all my favorite books. I dropped my bag on the bed and walked towards my mini closet. All my clothes were neatly folded and smelled fresh. I landed on my bed, staring at the pale blue walls with a bright smile. This was about to be the best Christmas ever. *** I realized I spoke too soon when I began eating, and my mother dropped the bomb on me. I sipped enough water before responding to her so I wouldn't choke. "What do you mean we are leaving for Kaduna?" I asked my mother, who just seemed completely unbothered on the other side of the room while she watched the news. "We are going to your grandparents' place. We will spend Christmas with Aunty Caro there." "But what's wrong with spending Christmas here?" I had everything planned out already. Make sure to do my selfcare. Nails, lashes, hair, everything. And then attend a few concerts just to feel the buzz and rush of Christmas in Lagos. Why did she have to do this to me? "I just thought it would be nice to do something different for a change. Get fresh air, meet new people, see new places." She looked at me with hope in her eyes. "Does Tari know about this?" I asked her, settling the morsel of pounded yam I initially wanted to stuff in my stomach back in the ceramic bowl. "Know about what?" Tari's baritone voice boomed from the house's entrance as he walked in with a bright smile, showing off his perfect dentition and beards that had finally connected. My mother placed a hand on her chest, "Jesus, Tari! How often have I told you to stop sneaking up on me like that? Always make your appearance known." "But I did," he grinned before looking at me. He looked dashing in his navy blue up-and-down senator, a fabric he has been wearing all too frequently these days. I think he's dressing this way because he's now feeling like a man. He looked like he had grown an inch taller or was it just my eyes, his brown sandals kissed the floor resulting in some squishy sound as he walked in. "Look who's home? Why am I not surprised the first thing you're doing is swallowing pounded yam?" he shook his head as he occupied one of the vacant seats on the dining table. I rolled my eyes, ignoring his remark, as I licked the red oil from the vegetable soup on my fingers, "Nice to see you too. Did you know we are spending Christmas in Kaduna?" "Absolutely. And where are you manners? You should not speak with your mouth full" "Thank you so much for pointing that out." My mother added from the couch, her eyes glued to the news on the TV. "And you don't object to it?" I asked Tari hoping he would say he did and this nightmare would be overs "I do not. Mama has her mind already made up; besides, it's not so bad." He added leaning against the chair. "Think about it, spending Christmas with family and horses, maybe a little cows. Fresh milk." He wriggled his brows and I just sighed. "I have already made plans for Christmas with my friends. This puts a dent in those plans." Tari laughed, shaking his head. "Powei, at least give us a believable lie now. When was the last time you went out with any of your friends? You always lock yourself up in that room whenever you're back from school watching silly romance movies." "I was actually going to hang out with Deborah this Christmas . We set up a girls date and everything." I whined. Deborah was my friend from high school and we hadn't seen each other in years. Even though nothing was set in stone yet, I was actually considering hanging out with her. "There's always new year," my mother said as I groaned, resisting the urge to hit my head on the dining table in defeat. "Mommy please. Can't you reconsider?" I begged looking at her and giving her my best puppy eyes look. "We are going to Kaduna in the next three days, Powei, and that's final. Eat your food." She spoke with a tone of finality, and I knew there was no use in dragging this out any further. I turned around and continued eating my food. "Any university gossip?" My brother asked me with a smile as I hissed at him and rolled my eyes. "Better leave me alone."