A restless night

The dinner hall had been silent.

Unnaturally so.

A'Xian sat across from Ji Haoyu, yet not a single word had been spoken between them. No teasing remarks, no sly smirks, no forced interactions. Nothing.

Ji Haoyu ate his meal with an elegance befitting a crown prince, his golden eyes occasionally flickering toward A'Xian. But they held no amusement, no taunts, just a quiet indifference.

The weight of silence was unsettling.

A'Xian found himself gripping his chopsticks too tightly, his stomach twisting.

Why wasn't he saying anything?

After all that had happened—the bath, the dressing, the kiss, was Ji Haoyu simply ignoring him now?

A'Xian thought he'd feel relieved, thought that this lack of attention would finally let him breathe, but instead… he felt worse.

His appetite vanished. He barely touched his food. But even then, Ji Haoyu did not comment on it. He simply finished his meal, wiped his lips with a silk napkin, and rose from his seat as if A'Xian were just another guest at his table.

"You may leave after you're done."

That was all he said before turning away.

A'Xian sat frozen in place long after Ji Haoyu had left, his hands clenched into fists beneath the table.

This isn't right.

Something was wrong. Something had changed.

And that terrified him more than any of Ji Haoyu's previous actions.

A'Xian left after barely eating anything.

Night had fully settled by then, his mind tangled in thoughts. He walked through the dimly lit corridors of Yonglan Palace, his steps slow, dragging.

He wasn't paying attention at first, not until he heard the hushed voices of two servants nearby.

"Did you hear? The Empress Dowager has already started arranging His Highness's engagement."

"I did! She met the princess of Bai Kingdom this morning. They spoke for hours. Looks like things are progressing fast."

"An engagement, huh? Well, it was only a matter of time. The Crown Prince will be taking the throne soon."

The words hit him like a rock on his chest.

He stopped in his tracks, his pulse hammering.

"An engagement?"

So Ji Haoyu met another woman right after he left the bath? Right after he had… toyed with A'Xian like that?

The thought made his stomach churn. He felt nauseous.

But..

It was reasonable, he told himself. This was the natural course of things. Ji Haoyu was the Crown Prince. Of course, he would take a wife.

And yet, why did he invite A'Xian to dinner if he had just met another woman?

Why bother?

A'Xian let out a slow breath, forcing down the strange weight in his chest.

This was good, wasn't it? If Ji Haoyu got engaged, then… perhaps he would finally stop fixating on him.

Yet as soon as the thought crossed his mind, another, more bitter one followed:

"Does she even know what kind of person he is?"

Would she ever find out? Or would she live her entire life unaware that her husband had spent his youth pressing kisses against another man's lips, playing with silk ribbons, teasing and taunting someone else in the shadows of his palace?

Would Ji Haoyu still continue his ways even after marrying?

The idea made A'Xian's jaw clench.

He had always known people of status were heartless, cold, and selfish. They thought only of their own benefit.

Ji Haoyu was no different. A selfish playboy, like the rest of them.

He must have done this with countless others before.

The moment the thought surfaced, a wave of disgust settled in A'Xian's chest.

At Ji Haoyu.

At himself.

Why did it even matter?

Why was he still thinking about this?

A'Xian shook his head, frustrated, and resumed walking. But his steps were heavier now, his movements sluggish, as if something unseen weighed him down.

When he finally reached his chambers, the guards who had escorted him quietly took their leave.

He did not feel relieved.

He stood at the threshold of his room, his heart unnervingly heavy, his mind restless.

He should be relieved. He should be grateful that Ji Haoyu had finally left him alone.

So why did it feel so… suffocating?

Why am I so unsettled?

The bed felt too cold and the silence felt too thick.

And the time when was hesitating to enter even his own chamber, a guard took notice of him and sent for an eunuch to look after his I'll health.

"Your Highness, do you feel uneasy or feverish? This servant would call for an apothecary in case you feel unwell."

"I'm fine. You can go."

"Your Highness, do you require warm milk? Perhaps a sleeping pill?"

"Get out."

"Very well! I shall return in an hour."

"Don't—"

The door slid shut. And A'Xian groaned into his pillow.

His mind was a mess. His chest rose and fell rapidly for no reason.

He turned to one side. Then onto his back. Then onto his stomach. No position felt comfortable.

The mattress was too soft. The silk sheets too smooth. The pillows fluffed to insanity.

It was suffocating.

It had to be nothing.

And yet, he lay there, staring at the ceiling, his fingers brushing against his lips where Ji Haoyu had kissed him.

That princess from Bai Kingdom… I hope she knows what she's getting into.

No. That's unfair.

…Or maybe not.

He shut his eyes unwillingly.

But he did not sleep that night.

--

By the time the first light of dawn spilled through the window, A'Xian still hadn't closed his eyes.

He sat up in bed, his body heavy with exhaustion, his mind drenched in unease.

He was to meet his father and elder brother today. They would arrive in Yonglan by the afternoon.

A strange wave of nausea rolled through him. He should feel relief. He should feel secure.

Instead, all he felt was a growing sense of dread.

And he didn't know why.