The Kiss

Returning to the apartment, it was already past ten. Only Liu Niuyi was there. All alone, she resembled an abandoned kitten curled up with a pillow on the sofa, her eyes red and clearly having cried. Upon seeing me, tears instantly filled her eyes. I felt a pang of sympathy and walked over to embrace her shoulders. "What happened? Where are they?" Liu Niuyi buried her face in my embrace, softly sobbing, unable to say a word. Noticing her palm tightly gripping her phone, I hesitated before pulling it out. It displayed a message received half an hour ago.

It was from He Zifei. He said, "Since I can come to this city for you, I can also go to Changchun with you. I once said that I wouldn't give up unless you got married; now I'm telling you, unless I die, don't think I'll let go!" 

I turned in shock to Liu Niuyi, only to see her shoulders shaking uncontrollably. A wave of sadness washed over me; He Zifei had loved her for over four years and was no longer willing to wait. I could almost empathize with his current state of despair, unwilling to give up, preferring to endure hardship rather than let go. Such a deep love was breathtaking in itself, wasn't it? If every person in love possessed his resilience and determination, love would be much simpler. 

Liu Niuyi cried for a long time before she began to recover. I patted her back, softly saying, "Ni Zi, tell me honestly, who do you truly love?" 

She drew in a breath, her gaze toward me filled with helplessness, and after a moment of choking up, she said, "Xiao Shuai's grandfather has lung cancer; it's already in the late stage. He hopes we can have the wedding soon." 

I was taken aback for a moment and softly replied, "So you're preparing to marry him without clarity? Ni Zi, you might end up ruining the happiness of three people!" 

Liu Niuyi lowered her head, and after a long while, she murmured, "Xia Tian, weren't you also the one who chose Xicheng over Feng Suchuan? You should understand better than anyone how conflicted I feel." 

I sighed as I looked at her and said, "But I never loved Feng Suchuan; I merely made a choice following my heart." 

"Have you ever regretted it? Making the wrong choice, being hurt again—have you ever regretted it?" 

I paused for a moment before responding, "No, loving until it's impossible to love anymore is the bravest thing I've ever done, and there's nothing to regret!" 

Liu Niuyi paused for a moment, then smiled sadly, her head bowed.

She rested her forehead against my shoulder and spoke in a hoarse voice, "Can you answer me honestly—do you really no longer love Xicheng?" 

"What do you mean?" 

"Do you truly not love him anymore?" 

I was momentarily taken aback, then nodded, "Yes, I don't love him anymore." 

Liu Niyi chuckled, "You're lying! I don't believe you. It's not that you don't love him; it's that you're too afraid to love him again. I believe you've completely let him go, but love itself hasn't disappeared. It's just hidden away, perhaps unnoticed, waiting to resurface at any moment. Of course, it might never come back. Compared to Zifei, Xicheng is much more pitiable. Since you can be so indifferent to him, I can do the same!" 

I let out a long sigh and looked out the window, taking a moment before responding, "Zifei is different from Xicheng; he has never hurt you. My indifference and coldness toward Xicheng weren't intentional. Since I've let go, he is now just an ordinary friend to me. Although I feel bad seeing him sad, I don't feel guilty. But you—when you hurt Zifei, you surely understood how painful it was for him. Niyi, I'm not saying you must choose Zifei; I just don't want you to regret it in the future. Love has never been a multiple-choice question. The moment you fell for Zifei, Huang Xiaoshuai became a thing of the past." 

Liu Niyi stared blankly at the ground, lost in thought, confusion evident in her eyes. 

I stood up and walked to the balcony, looking up at the night sky filled with stars. My mind was as tranquil and peaceful as the vast universe. Love is truly a tormenting thing that leads those deeply immersed in it to lose themselves, unable to break free until complete despair sets in. Only then will their hearts no longer ache, but they will also lose all hope. 

Until work began, neither Wen Xicheng nor He Zifei returned to the apartment, and Liu Niyi remained in a low mood. I thought everyone needed time to cool down.

On the first day back, Feng Suchuan was called to the office by the boss early in the morning. While everyone was still chatting, Cheng Cheng's sudden exclamation drew our attention. 

"Oh my God, check your emails!" 

I turned to my computer and opened my email; the latest message was the personnel appointment letter just released by the Human Resources Department. 

I stared at the contents of the email, my mouth gradually falling open in shock—my expression remained blank. 

"Due to the needs of our company's development, we hereby appoint Wen Xicheng as Executive Vice President, overseeing the Design and Engineering Departments. Feng Suchuan is appointed as Vice President, overseeing the Contracts, Human Resources, and Business Departments. Alken, sent by the U.S. headquarters, is appointed as Chief Financial Officer, managing the Finance Department. The internal audit division previously under the Contracts Department will now be managed by the CFO. Additionally, the Board of Directors has decided to establish a special contract task force. All engineering contracts totaling over one hundred thousand must be discussed and signed by all members of the task force before taking effect. The task force consists of: Wen Xicheng, Feng Suchuan, Alken, and Xia Tian, with Wen Xicheng as the team leader. 

This appointment will take effect immediately! 

This announcement is hereby made!" 

I read through it three times before slowly coming back to my senses. MSN was buzzing with activity, and the office erupted in chaos. I sat dazed in my chair, my mind swirling with a mix of emotions. This appointment letter likely caught most people off guard. Feng Suchuan being appointed as vice president was the only news I could accept—he is an eight-year veteran of the company, having built it side by side with the boss, which gives him significant standing both personally and logically.

However, Wen Xicheng has only been with the company for half a year; what qualifications does he possess to be the Executive Vice President overseeing the U.S. headquarters? Some of his authority actually exceeds that of Zhang Zong, and then there's Alken. His authority is entirely independent of the mainland company. Both he and Wen Xicheng were dispatched by the head office in the U.S., and various signs indicate that the U.S. headquarters is beginning to intervene completely in the mainland branch.

Separating the internal audit from the contract section and establishing a special contract task force clearly undermines Feng Suchuan's power. So even though he has been promoted to vice president, he has effectively been sidelined, losing any substantial authority!

By the time the morning meeting began, Feng Suchuan still hadn't returned. Just as I was leaving the office, I happened to run into Wen Xicheng coming out of the design department.

He furrowed his brow, glanced at me as if he wanted to say something, but then simply opened his mouth and pressed his lips tightly together. After hesitating for a moment, he walked toward the elevator first.

I felt extremely frustrated, with my heart full of indignation for Feng Suchuan. No one understands how dedicated and hard-working he is better than I do. He often works through the night on a case, only to return home, change his clothes, and head straight to the bidding site. Sometimes, when he is busy, he barely manages to get ten hours of sleep in a week. Many times, when we discussed quotes together, he would drink cup after cup of strong tea, and now all his efforts have been so easily overshadowed by Wen Xicheng, the so-called son-in-law of a big boss!

It's truly ironic. Although I am not exactly an angry youth, witnessing such unfairness happening around me is indeed difficult to accept.

During the meeting, Feng Suchuan still sat to the right of the boss, with Wen Xicheng next to him.

I kept watching Feng Suchuan after sitting down; his face displayed a calmness I was familiar with, and his eyes remained steady, showing no fluctuations. Noticing my gaze, he slightly raised his eyelids, and when he looked over, the corners of his mouth gently lifted.

At that moment, warmth filled my chest, as if my anxious heart had suddenly found comfort. I returned his smile brightly, and after seeing a hint of joy in his eyes, I took a deep breath and withdrew my gaze, avoiding the man beside him who was still staring at me.

If Feng Suchuan and Wen Xicheng were to engage in a war without gunpowder, I would unhesitatingly stand by Feng Suchuan's side. As allies at work, we are unbreakable, and I will never betray him!

After the meeting, I went directly to Feng Suchuan's office with him. 

He lowered the blinds and didn't sit down immediately. Instead, he lit a cigarette and leaned against the window, smoking slowly.

The calmness on his face gradually gave way to fatigue and irritation. I walked over and stood in front of him, gently asking, "How could this happen? Did you receive any news beforehand?"

Feng Suchuan shook his head, releasing a few smoke rings before turning to look out the window. I felt a deep sadness within me but struggled to find the right words to comfort him. After a moment of hesitation, I tugged at his arm and urged, "Don't be upset; go ask Old Zhang. He should provide you with an explanation!"

Feng Suchuan stood silently, lost in thought. After a long pause, he slowly turned his head, his face now bearing a faint smile. He reached out to ruffle my hair and said, "Go back to work. I'm fine."

Looking up at him, concern etched across my face, I pressed on, "Please take care; I want to treat you to dinner tonight."

Feng Suchuan nodded slightly. As I watched him move toward the desk, I stepped back, taking a seat and staring at the still-closed light beige blinds, my heart feeling unusually heavy.

At noon, when I returned from the cafeteria, I helped Feng Suchuan pack a meal. When I brought it to him, he was on a call but smiled at me, saying, "Thank you."

I waved my hand and walked out.

In the afternoon, the Shanghai branch sent the drawings for the billion-dollar project to the design department, copying both Feng Suchuan and me. Around three o'clock, Feng Suchuan sent me an email detailing several matters regarding communication with the design department about the plans. Observing the well-structured content, my admiration for him grew even stronger.

After organizing the bidding materials, I made my way to the design department. Upon arrival, I saw Song Ying just emerging from Wen Xicheng's office. I looked at her inquisitively, and she approached me, whispering, "I advise you to wait a little while before going in. He just had a confrontation with the big boss in the U.S. and is really upset. I've already been used as cannon fodder once."

I glanced at the tightly shut door and said, "It's urgent work-related matters."

Song Ying sighed and left. I approached, knocked on the door, and walked in directly.

Wen Xicheng was holding a cup of water and taking medicine. He looked visibly startled upon seeing me, swallowed his medicine, and said, "I was just about to look for you."

I sat down and handed over the materials in my hand, saying, "These are the technical parameters from the initial bidding. Many of our regular brands cannot achieve them. When deepening the design, see if any modifications can be made. Our manager has assigned me to be responsible for the preliminary communication on this case, so if you need us to cooperate on work matters, just come directly to me."

Wen Xicheng furrowed his brows, glanced at me, then set the papers aside after taking them. As he loosened his tie and turned his head, a bead of cold sweat trickled down his cheek.

He covered his mouth and coughed twice before saying, "Let's not discuss this for now. I only saw the company's appointment letter today and didn't receive any prior notice. I promise to give you an explanation about this matter and handle it as soon as possible."

I stood up and shrugged. "That's easy for you to say. What right do I have to demand an explanation? Since you don't want to talk about work right now, I'll come back later."

"Xia Tian! You can't be so unreasonable!" Wen Xicheng's voice was a bit hoarse, tinged with barely concealed anger.

I looked up, and the smile on my lips faded slightly as I noticed the color draining from his face. I said nothing and turned to walk out of the office.

In the break room, I sat on the couch, watching the steam rise slowly from my cup, feeling very dejected. I admitted that I had let my emotions get the better of me. I wasn't sure if my resistance to Wen Xicheng was for Feng Suchuan or for myself. I thought that if it were someone else, perhaps I wouldn't react so strongly.

After four years of training and experience, I had long since learned to mask my true feelings. I thought that if Feng Suchuan witnessed my performance, he would certainly feel like a failure for having trained his subordinate for so long, only to see such panic!

Hearing a sudden fit of coughs, I stood up, turned around, and saw the man who had just entered, gripping my cup tightly. Wen Xicheng glanced at me before walking to the cupboard, taking out a packet of coffee. After brewing it, he sat down on the sofa, bowing his head in silence.

After standing quietly for a while, I approached him and softly said, "I'm sorry for my earlier attitude. What's wrong? Why are you coughing so much?"

Wen Xicheng shook his head and, in a somewhat hoarse voice, replied, "Xia Tian, how did we end up like this? You are so heartless toward me because of him."

"I responded, 'You wouldn't understand how devastating this is for those of us who have worked so hard. He separated from his first love for the sake of the company, and in the end, they parted ways. He poured all his effort into this, fighting for half his life, only to receive such an outcome. It could really destroy all of his beliefs!' 

Wen Xicheng lifted his head, pain flickering in his eyes. After a self-deprecating smile, he said, 'So I've become the culprit, right? But have you considered that I'm also innocent? You know I don't care about these things at all. You understand why I came to this company. Is it a bit cruel to judge me like this?' 

I took a deep breath and looked at him. 'It's precisely because you don't care that we look even more pathetic. The things you can accomplish with a flick of your finger require us to put in thousands of times the effort to achieve. Xicheng, I've never felt that the differences between us were as vast as they are now. What happened today was my fault; I shouldn't have taken my anger out on you. You don't need to mention anything to the head office in the U.S.' 

'I've realized that even without you, someone else would be here. From now on, I will control my emotions, and what happened earlier will never happen again.' 

After I spoke, the small space in the tea room was filled only with our somewhat unsteady breathing. 

After a long pause, Wen Xicheng stood up, took a sip of coffee, and turned to look at me. His face was expressionless, his gaze calm and deep. After pressing his lips together, he tilted his head toward the window and said softly, 'If this is what you want, I will grant it to you.' After a slight pause, he continued, 'Xia Tian, I can actually become someone like him as long as that's what you desire!' 

That night, as I walked out of the office with Feng Suchuan, it was completely dark."

Standing beneath the imposing, cold building, wrapped in the cool moonlight, I gazed at the bustling street, feeling a mix of emotions. 

"Are we really not going to drive?" I turned to the man beside me, feeling conflicted. 

Feng Suchuan had his hands in his coat pockets, tilted his head to look at me, and nodded slightly. 

"It's rush hour! It'll be hard to find a taxi." I scratched my head. 

"Then let's just wait; there's no rush," he replied calmly, a smile playing at the corner of his mouth. 

I twisted the strap of my bag, playfully kicked his heel with my toes, and nodded.

While we were eating, he said, "Tonight, let's drink heartily together." 

I cheerfully nodded, "I will surely risk my life to accompany you tonight!" 

Feng Suchuan chuckled softly and called me an "idiot." 

After the meal, we took a taxi straight to the bar and realized it was the same place where I had gotten drunk last time. No wonder he ran into me that day; he was a regular here.

This time, I ordered a cocktail directly, obediently keeping him company in drinking. 

Feng Suchuan still wore a faint smile on his face and didn't speak.

Except for occasionally raising his glass to clink with mine, he kept his head down. Perhaps it was windy outside; his hair was a bit tousled, lacking its usual neatness, appearing somewhat disheveled and lethargic. 

I leaned on the table, taking small sips of my drink as I quietly observed him.

"Staring at me like that is dangerous," he said with a slight smile, meeting my gaze. 

I pouted and averted my eyes, sipping the orange liquid in my glass. "Talk to me; I know you're feeling down. I'm almost drunk right now, so I won't remember anything you say." 

"If you know you're drunk, then you're definitely not," he chuckled. 

I grabbed his arm and shook it. "I'm really drunk; I see you with two heads. If I lie down now, I won't be able to be the one you vent to. Hurry!"

Feng Suchuan laughed a few times, then gently held my hand while looking up at me. "Really drunk?" 

I bit my lip, glanced at the back of his hand, and traced my fingers across his palm, nodding. "I'm drunk. See? I'm not resisting being groped anymore." 

Feng Suchuan laughed heartily, tilted his head back, and took a big gulp of his drink, holding my hand firmly without any intention of letting go. 

I rested my face on my arm and gazed at him eagerly. "I've made such a big sacrifice; you should at least show some appreciation." 

Feng Suchuan didn't look at me; one hand held a glass while the other played with my fingers, his eyes distant yet smiling. The transparent liquid in his glass swirled in circles with the movement of his wrist, appearing especially bright under the dim neon lights. I realized I had drunk quite a bit, my head feeling dizzy as I stared blankly at his glass. 

"Old Zhang told me to swallow my anger; he will give me an explanation by the end of the year." 

Suddenly, the man beside me said this, and I straightened up in surprise. Since my hand was still tightly held by him, he was also pulled slightly by my movement. 

I exclaimed angrily, "What nonsense!"

"After dedicating so many years to the company, is that the consolation he offers? Old Zhang is going too far!" 

Feng Suchuan smiled calmly, turned to call the waiter, and ordered two more drinks, then playfully compared our fingers, looking pleased. 

I tugged at his hand but couldn't pull it away. "Stop playing." 

"Just a little longer, and I'll give it back to you." 

His expression was disarmingly innocent, revealing a rare glimpse of cuteness that left me at a loss for how to refuse. I could only continue to lean on the table, staring at the increasingly twinkling stars swirling around me. 

"Are you really drunk?" When the waiter brought over two clear cocktails, Feng Suchuan lightly pushed me and asked in a hushed tone, barely hiding his amusement.

I nodded, feeling even dizzier, and buried my face in my arm, mumbling. 

"Have another drink," he leaned closer, his breath warm against my ear. 

I shook my head and waved my hand, sulkily replying, "I can't drink anymore; I'm really feeling dizzy." 

"Your words are still so sharp. Having another drink is no problem. You said you wouldn't leave until you were drunk!" Feng Suchuan playfully grabbed my shoulder, grinning like a big wolf. 

I blinked hard and then nodded, grabbing the glass beside me and taking a big gulp. In an instant, a fiery liquid coursed down my throat into my stomach, making me shudder violently as tears streamed down my face. 

"What kind of drink is this? It's too strong!" I clung to his arm for support, exclaiming. 

Feng Suchuan shook his head, chuckling, and helped me lean against him, slowly lifting my chin, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear, and gently saying, "It's unblended brandy; the taste is a bit harsh, but the texture is really nice. The only issue is that your drinking method is all wrong." 

His voice was softer than ever, his husky tone dripping with seductive charm.

I stared at him in confusion, the handsome profile of the man in front of me blurring into an exquisite image. He picked up the glass I had just drunk from and took a small sip, his Adam's apple remaining still, with no swallowing motion at all. Just as I felt puzzled, the corners of his mouth curved upward, and he leaned closer to me.

His lips landed directly on mine, giving me no time to react. His smooth tongue slipped in, gradually pushing a liquid that tasted like pure spring water into my mouth. Instinctively, I wanted to curl my tongue and swallow, but I was ensnared by his, gently intertwining until the flavor of the drink was completely released. Finally, with a tender lick, his tongue reluctantly retreated.

I was completely taken aback, instinctively swallowing the liquor still in my mouth, staring blankly at him until a tingling sensation at the root of my tongue brought me back to reality. Only then did I realize what we had just done, and my mind burst open with a loud "bang!" I jumped up abruptly, stumbling a few steps in dizziness, only to see his outstretched arm, which I instinctively avoided. My heart racing, I looked at him in panic and stumbled toward the bathroom.

I leaned against the sink, water dripping from my face as I stared into the mirror that reflected my flushed cheeks and bewildered expression, feeling an overwhelming sense of grievance and defeat! Feng Suchuan had actually taken advantage of my drunkenness to kiss me! My head throbbed, my thoughts were a chaotic whirlwind, and the lingering scent of liquor from our heated kiss filled my mouth. The intoxication had mostly worn off, and I sat on the edge of the sink, staring blankly at the bathroom door, too afraid to go out, unsure of what expression I would face Feng Suchuan with.

After a while, I heard some voices outside, and then the door creaked open. The waiter stepped in, clearly startled to see me; she swallowed hard before speaking. "Are you Miss Xiàtiān?" I bit my lip and nodded.

"The gentleman outside said you vomited and asked me to come in and check on you." After saying this, she leaned over, presumably looking for any signs of a mess.

Noticing her lingering gaze on me, I had no choice but to jump off the counter, wash my hands, and turn to walk out.

As I opened the door, Feng Suchuan was leaning against the nearby wall, sparks flickering between his fingers. Upon seeing me, he pressed his lips together, extinguished the cigarette butt in the trash can, and grabbed my wrist to lead me outside. 

As I struggled, I yelled at him, "Let go of me, you uncouth man!" 

Feng Suchuan glanced back at me with a smile, as if a weight had lifted, then released my hand and handed me my bag.

"If you're still willing to talk to me, it means it's not too serious, right?" 

I took the bag, twisted the strap tightly, turned my face away, and coldly huffed without looking at him.

The moonlight was gentle as we walked side by side down the silent midnight street. The previous awkwardness had dissipated, and I couldn't comprehend why I was able to digest that strange, heated kiss so quickly. Perhaps, as he said, we are all adults now, and in the context of everyone drinking too much at the bar, such a kiss doesn't really mean anything as long as there are no barriers between us; we can just treat it as if nothing happened.

Sometimes I wonder if my trust in Feng Suchuan is a bit excessive, as if he would always protect me and never hurt me. Such feelings are too complex and profound. I think if one day Feng Suchuan betrayed my trust, the blow I would suffer would be no less painful than when I was abandoned by Wen Xicheng.