The Sky Pirate Proposal

Finn stood frozen, mouth hanging open as Captain Vespera Blackwing, the most notorious sky pirate in the Brasshaven skies, grinned down at him like a cat with a cornered mouse.

"W-what do you mean, you accept my proposal?!" Finn stammered, stepping back.

Vespera flicked her silver hair and smirked. "Oh, don't be shy, darling. News of your heroic rescue of Lady Zephyria spread fast. Any man bold enough to propose to the heiress of Stormhaven—in public, no less—is clearly the kind of reckless idiot I like."

Finn choked on air. "I—I didn't propose! It was an accident!"

Tess nudged him. "To be fair, Finn, at this point, most of your life is an accident."

Zephyria, still shaking with rage, cracked her knuckles. "Let me get this straight. Not only am I being forced into a ridiculous engagement with him—" she pointed at Finn, "—but now some sky pirate wants him too?"

Vespera winked. "Not just want, sweetheart. I claim him."

Zephyria grabbed a nearby broken steam pipe and hurled it at the pirate. Vespera easily dodged, flipping onto a crate. "Temper, temper, noble girl," she teased. "You wouldn't want Finn thinking you actually like him."

Zephyria's face turned red as a fire-gem engine. "I—HE—YOU—SHUT UP!"

Finn raised his hands. "Alright, hold on! First of all, no one is claiming anyone! I am not marrying Zephyria, and I am definitely not becoming a sky pirate's trophy husband!"

Vespera sighed dramatically. "Shame. You'd look adorable in my crew's uniform."

Finn smacked his forehead. "What even is my life right now?"