The Princess, The Smugglers, and The Unwilling Groom

Finn barely had time to roll out of the way before the Mad Princess' hammer smashed into the deck, sending splinters and sparks flying everywhere.

"WOULD YOU STOP TRYING TO FLATTEN ME?!" Finn shrieked as he scrambled backward.

The princess—Princess Ignis Automatia, heir to the Automaton Empire, infamous for her chaotic obsession with battle and romance—giggled.

"But Finn, my darling fiancé, this is how I show my love!" She swung again.

Finn barely dodged. "STOP LOVING ME SO AGGRESSIVELY!"

Zephyria gritted her teeth. "This is bad. If she gets her hands on Finn, he's going straight to the Empire."

Vespera smirked. "And you'd miss him?"

Zephyria turned red. "I JUST DON'T WANT THE EMPIRE GETTING STRONGER, OKAY?!"

The smuggler captain, who had just watched his ship get invaded by a battle-crazed princess, wisely started backing away. "Yeah, y'know what? I don't get paid enough for this. BOYS! ABANDON SHIP!"

The entire smuggler crew panicked, grabbing whatever loot they could before jumping onto lifeboats and taking off.

Finn, still running for his life, yelled after them. "HEY! TAKE ME WITH YOU!"

"Nope!" one of the smugglers called back. "Good luck, Prince Handsome!"

Finn groaned. "WHY DOES EVERYONE THINK I'M A PRINCE?!"

The Mad Princess charged again, swinging her electrified hammer in a wide arc. Finn ducked just in time, but the weapon hit a steam pipe, causing a massive explosion of smoke.

Zephyria coughed. "Great. Now we can't see a thing."

Vespera, casually balancing on a railing, pulled out a bottle of rum. "This is getting better by the second."

Through the smoke, Finn felt a pair of strong arms suddenly grab him.

His heart stopped.

"Oh, Finn~" the princess purred in his ear. "There's nowhere left to run~."

Finn screamed like a dying airhorn.