Chapter 4: The Weight of Shame

The next day, despite it being an extremely hot day, Kimberly put on a black hoodie to school, wearing a face mask matching the color of her hoodie. She adjusted the fabric as she walked, trying to shield herself from unwanted attention. The last time she was humiliated publicly, everyone forgot about it quickly, but now she was in middle school, grade eight. She doubted everyone would forget about it soon. The weight of that knowledge settled heavily on her shoulders.

"I can't become the next Victoria," she thought grimly. Victoria, the class weirdo, had earned a permanent spot as the school's laughingstock. Every day, a fresh joke at her expense circulated, and Kimberly refused to suffer the same fate.

When she stepped into school, students still stood in the hallway, minding their business. They didn't seem to notice her, and she felt a slight wave of relief wash over her. Keeping her head down, Kimberly navigated her way to her locker. Mirabel and Ruby were already there, waiting for her.

As Kimberly stepped into the school hallway, she noticed students huddled in small groups, engrossed in their conversations. No one paid her any attention. She exhaled a relieved sigh and walked briskly toward her locker, keeping her head down. Her fingers fumbled with the lock before she heard an unmistakable voice.

"What the heck?" Mirabel's sharp exclamation rang out as she spotted her friend. She fought back a fit of laughter, clutching her stomach. "What are you wearing, girl?" Her chuckle was loud and infectious, though Kimberly was doing everything she could to suppress her own discomfort.

Kimberly didn't reply. Instead, she sighed, opening her locker to retrieve her books. "I'm trying to keep a low profile until my shame blows over. Is it that hard to notice?" she muttered, her voice tinged with frustration.

Ruby leaned casually against her locker, bringing her face closer to Kimberly's. "Well, you sure need to keep that up." She gave a long look, her eyebrows furrowing as she took in Kimberly's outfit. "Because this is not a good look," she added, her tone serious but with a slight undercurrent of concern. Ruby was holding a a two-leaf school brochure from the press club containing the school's recent happenings. On the front cover, the headline was a gut-punch: "Drama in Grade Eight: Dave vs. Kimberly!" Below it was a picture of Kimberly, frozen mid-confrontation with Dave.

Kimberly's eyes widened. She snatched the paper from Ruby's hands. "Someone took a freaking picture?" Her voice cracked as she stared at the humiliating image. "That's it. My life is officially over. This is how I will be remembered up until high school," she added, her voice trembling as she sank against the locker, her knees threatening to give way.

The bell rang, signaling the start of the first period. Students quickly shuffled to their respective classes. Kimberly stood frozen for a moment, still clutching the brochure, her thoughts a whirl of self-doubt.

"I understand if you guys don't want to be seen with me anymore," Kimberly said softly, her shoulders slumping as she handed the pamphlet back to Ruby. "I'll join Victoria at her seat today." Without waiting for a reply, she turned and walked away, leaving her friends behind.

Ruby and Mirabel exchanged puzzled glances as Kimberly trudged off. "What was that all about?" Mirabel asked, her voice a mixture of concern and curiosity.

In response, Ruby just shrugged her shoulders, her brow furrowed.

Kimberly sat at a table with Victoria, trying to strike up a conversation.

"It's just crazy, you know?" she said, waving her fork for emphasis. "One moment, everything's fine, and the next, my life's a dumpster fire." She forced a smile, trying to find common ground. "I guess I kind of get how you feel now. Just know, you're not alone." 

Victoria tilted her head, clearly confused. She blinked at Kimberly, wondering why this strange girl was sitting at her table and talking to her. 

"We're in this together," Kimberly added with a small, reassuring smile.

Before Victoria could respond, Mirabel and Ruby appeared with their lunch trays. Mirabel planted her tray on the table with a loud thunk. "Okay. What do you think you're doing?" she demanded, her lips pulled into a tight line as she stood in front of Kimberly's new seat. She crossed her arms, clearly not pleased.

"Yeah," Ruby chimed in, her voice full of disbelief as she stood next to Mirabel. "You actually ditched us?" Ruby added, 

"I'm just placing myself where I deserve to be," Kimberly replied, her voice low and full of sadness. She absentmindedly pushed her food around her tray, not really hungry. The weight of her humiliation felt like it was crushing her, and the press had only made it worse by boldly publishing it in their pamphlet, engraving it in the minds of everyone. "This is my reality now," she muttered, more to herself than anyone else.

Mirabel's eyes softened. "You're just beating yourself up. You need to get over this," she said with a sigh, her voice a mix of frustration and empathy. "You heard Tobi—he lied to Dave, that's why Dave got so angry. And besides, you deserve a better person than him."

Mirabel's words caused Ruby to give her a questioning look. She remembered clearly that Mirabel had been the one who said Dave was way out of Kimberly's league.

"Yeah, babe, don't let this crappy school get to you," Mirabel concluded with a shrug.

Kimberly raised her head slightly. "You don't get it. When I'm with you guys, everyone remembers I'm the girl who got rejected. But when I sit with Victoria, it's like I'm invisible. It's like people forget I was the girl who got rejected yesterday." Kimberly's words hung in the air, her face flushed with embarrassment and frustration.

Mirabel rolled her eyes and huffed. "Alright, that's enough self-pity." Without warning, she grabbed Kimberly's wrist, yanking her to her feet. "This nonsense ends now." She dragged Kimberly away from the table, ignoring her struggles.

"Wait!" Kimberly protested, trying to free herself, but Mirabel's grip on her wrist was firm. "Where are you taking me?" she asked, her voice tinged with panic as she was dragged toward Dave's table against her will.

"Oh no!" Kimberly whispered to herself, dreading the confrontation that was about to unfold.

****

The three girls stopped at Dave's table where he always sat, surrounded by his clique. To Kimberly's surprise, Tobi had joined them. His act of lying about her had earned him a spot among the most privileged kids in the school.

The moment the girls approached, Tasha, Dave's rumored girlfriend, raised an eyebrow.

"What do you want?" Tasha sneered, twirling a strand of her hair. "Oh, wait—aren't you the girl spreading lies about being in a relationship with Dave?" She pointed a finger at Kimberly, her voice sharp. Laughter erupted from the table, and Kimberly shrank back, wishing she could disappear.

"What are you doing?" Kimberly hissed at Mirabel, her voice barely audible. 

Mirabel shot a glare at Tasha. "Shut up, Tasha!" Mirabel snapped, her voice cutting through the laughter. The table fell silent, and the air grew tense. "I'm not here to speak to you. Your boyfriend humiliated my friend over a lie his tiny brain didn't think to confirm before reacting." Mirabel's voice dripped with disgust when she mentioned Dave. She loathed him, not just because of the humiliation he caused Kimberly, but because he and his friends were entitled and arrogant. Even though Mirabel came from a rich family, she despised people like them.

"Kimberly doesn't like you." Mirabel's voice was steady, but the underlying anger was unmistakable.

"Hold on," a voice interrupted. Tobi, who had been silent until now interjected from the far end of the table eager to prove his relevance. "Did you just call the most intelligent boy in grade eight tiny-brained?" Tobi asked, his voice dripping with mock offense.

Ruby folded her arms, stepping closer. "Being a genius doesn't mean a thing if you don't have common sense," she said coolly, but her words were sharp. She had had enough of Dave's childish behavior. The way he handled everything yesterday was immature, and he shattered what little self-esteem Kimberly had left.

"Kimberly doesn't like you, and she never would!" Mirabel added, her voice unwavering. 

Kimberly's stomach twisted. The confrontation felt surreal, like a bad dream. She couldn't believe her friends were standing up for her like this, especially in front of Dave's intimidating clique.

Dave, who had been eating his lunch casually while the girls bickered, finally stopped. He looked around at them with a bored expression, then propped his elbow on the table, resting his chin in his hand. "Allow your friend to speak for herself," he said nonchalantly.

All eyes turned to Kimberly. Her palms grew clammy, and her throat tightened. She tried to form words, but nothing coherent came out. 

"Um... I..." Her voice faltered, and her cheeks burned under the weight of their stares. Her heart raced, and she wished she could be as confident as her friends. But all she could feel was the crushing weight of embarrassment. Her heart sank as she looked at Mirabel and Ruby, their faces expectant and supportive. They were fighting for her, yet she couldn't summon the courage to do the same. Her vision blurred as her eyes filled with tears.

"I'm sorry," she finally whispered, her voice barely audible. Tears welled up as she turned to leave, unable to face the humiliation any longer. Her apology wasn't to Dave or Tasha, it was to her friends, who had stood up for her when she couldn't stand up for herself.

She was a loser, and she didn't deserve people who would stand up for her. Could she even stand up for them if the roles were reversed? The thought pained her, and she hated herself for it.

Her vision blurred with unshed tears as she made her way to the restroom, the one place where she could let everything out without anyone seeing her. She entered a stall and sat down, her face buried in her hands.

"You're so stupid," she muttered, hitting her forehead with her palm. "You're worthless, you're a loser." She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to block out the tears that threatened to spill.

"I HATE YOU!" she screamed at the top of her lungs, her voice breaking as the words echoed through the empty restroom.