Chapter 34: "The Ice Queen’s Guide to (Accidental) Normality"

The Calamity of "Ordinary"

Stephanie Redwyne despised the word normal. Normalcy was for peasants, pigeons, and people who enjoyed lukewarm tea. But when Headmaster Thistlewick announced "Class Unity Day"—a saccharine festival where students bonded through "mundane mortal activities"—she saw an opportunity: 14 uninterrupted hours with Grey.

"You're participating," she informed him at dawn, ice crystals frosting his dorm window. "Wear this."

She tossed him a sweater knitted from arctic wyvern wool (fireproof, stab-resistant, and embroidered with Property of Stephanie in glowing runes).

Grey blinked, clutching the sweater. "Is this a threat?"

"A gift," she corrected, freezing his door shut. "Now hurry. We have schedules to dominate."

Activity #1: Pottery Class (Warfare with Clay)

The art studio smelled of wet earth and shattered dreams. Stephanie commandeered a pottery wheel, her frost magic hardening the clay into a weaponizable sculpture.

"This is pointless," she muttered, shaping a vase into a perfect replica of Grey's face. "Clay is beneath me."

Grey sat beside her, molding a lopsided mug. "It's supposed to be fun, Steph."

"Fun is inefficient." She froze his mug mid-spin. "Yours is asymmetrical. Fix it."

Across the room, Lilia giggled, her own clay monstrosity sprouting wings and attempting flight. Sir Spicy roasted it mid-air, earning applause.

"At least hers is entertaining," Stephanie sniffed.

Grey smirked. "Jealous?"

"Of chaos? Never."

Activity #2: Team-Building Trust Falls (A Crime Against Dignity)

Professor Elmira's "trust exercises" were a special kind of torture. Stephanie stood atop a wooden platform, arms crossed, glaring at the plebeians below.

"Lady Redwyne," Elmira pleaded, "please let Grey catch you. It's about vulnerability."

"Vulnerability is for corpses," Stephanie said, summoning an ice slide to descend gracefully.

Grey shrugged at the class. "She's got a point."

Lilia, ever the optimist, volunteered next. Her trust fall ended with Felix "accidentally" teleporting beneath her and Kael facepalming into a tree.

Activity #3: Picnic Lunch (Edible Warfare)

Stephanie's picnic basket contained:

Frostbloom tea (brewed at -10°C).

Snow hare sandwiches (cryogenically preserved).

A five-tiered cake sculpted to resemble Grey's face (with lightning-shaped frosting).

"You… baked?" Grey poked the cake's icing nose.

"Obviously not. I commissioned a chef. Then froze him for incompetence."

Lilia plopped down beside them, her basket spilling jam tarts. "Can I trade a tart for a sandwich?"

"No."

"Yes," Grey said, swapping a tart for a sandwich.

Stephanie's frost crept over Lilia's napkin. Message received.

Activity #4: Gardening (The Roots of Tyranny)

The greenhouse was Stephanie's nemesis—humid, earthy, and infested with bees. She wielded a trowel like a scepter, ordering Grey to prune roses while she flash-froze aphids into tiny ice sculptures.

"Admirable technique," Professor Thorn said, inspecting her frostbitten petunias. "But perhaps… less eternal winter?"

"They're improved," she said, icicles dangling from the orchids.

Grey whispered to a traumatized sunflower, "You're doing great, buddy."

Activity #5: Dance Lessons (A Battle of Wills)

The ballroom was Stephanie's domain. She'd mastered the waltz at age six, the tango at eight, and the art of stepping on rivals' toes by nine.

"Lead," she ordered Grey, ice crystals forming a private dance floor.

"You're the expert," he said, tripping over his own feet.

"Pathetic." She spun him into a dip, her frost guiding his steps. "But fixable."

Lilia waltzed past with Kael, who moved like a sentient brick. "Having fun?"

"Define 'fun,'" Grey choked as Stephanie nearly flung him into a chandelier.

The Final Test: "Share Your Feelings" (A Fate Worse Than Death)

The day's crescendo was a campfire circle where students shared " heartfelt reflections." Stephanie sat as far from the flames as possible, conjuring ice marshmallows.

Lilia went first. "I learned that teamwork means… uh… not setting things on fire! Mostly!"

Felix: "I learned that Grey's sweater doubles as a parachute!"

Kael: grunts (Translation: "I learned nothing.")

When Grey's turn came, he glanced at Stephanie. "I learned that 'normal' can be… interesting. With the right person."

The campfire crackled. Stephanie's ice marshmallow squeaked.

"Lady Redwyne?" Professor Elmira prompted. "Your reflection?"

Stephanie stood, frost spreading under her boots. "I learned that normal is a delusion for the weak. But…" Her gaze flickered to Grey. "Certain distractions… have merit."

The class erupted in applause. Lilia grinned. Kael nodded. Felix tried to roast an ice marshmallow.

The Epilogue: Frost and Firelight

That night, Stephanie added a footnote to her Anti-Normalcy Manifesto:

Article 12.7: Ordinary activities are permissible ONLY if they involve (a) strategic dominance, (b) personalized sweaters, and (c) him.

Grey found it pinned to his dorm door with an ice dagger. He pocketed it, smiling.

"Master," Vermis hummed, "you're doomed."

"Yeah," he said. "Worth it."