269

***

I thought he took you away. The words almost escaped him, but mercifully, they remained unspoken. How foolish would he have sounded? Inés would have no doubt laughed, teasing him, "Where could he have possibly taken me? The drawing room?" He could already envision her face turning cold if he insisted that Oscar's intentions were far more sinister.

How could he reveal the truth of what he knew? When would he be able to reveal that he was aware of the secret she guarded so desperately-without hurting her feelings?

Inés intertwined her fingers with his and rubbed her thumb along the side of his hand as they strolled together. Her gesture as endearing as ever, yet even that cherished warmth did little to dispel the dark clouds gathering in his mind.

Oscar had appeared like a marauding enemy, and Cárcel was entirely unprepared to face him though he had known this confrontation was inevitable. The apostle had never given Cárcel another message, leaving him without guidance, without any further fragments of his past restored to him since Bilbao. And it felt like a failure, the kind that burned deep, regardless of how vigilant he had been. He had been preoccupied, tending to his brother, and now he stood unarmed before a foe whose presence he should have anticipated a long time ago.

Everything in his head was a jumbled mess. He despised Oscar, but that hatred paled in comparison to the contempt he felt for himself for being so powerless in that moment.

Inés began to knead his hand with both of hers, as if trying to get the blood to flow through it. "Are you truly all right? Your hands are still freezing." Her small hands worked diligently, but her efforts did not do much to chase away the chill. Still, the crease of genuine concern in her brow was unmistakable.

Cárcel's eyes softened as he studied her face, the self-loathing flowing out of his chest like a retreating tide. He said with a short chuckle, "Much time has elapsed since my injury, Inés. Do you intend to coddle me like a child forever?"

"Take a look in the mirror and you will see that it was not as long ago as you claim," she countered, her voice firm.

He shook his head with a smile. "This all seems oddly familiar... Is this how Juana used to care for you?"

"Well, there weren't many others who did these things. You see, my nursemaid..." she began nonchalantly, only to trail off with a long sigh. He leaned down to kiss the top of her head, silently asking what troubled her. After a moment, she said, "I am only feigning ignorance because you have done the same for me countless times in the past when I behaved...strangely. But Cárcel, I hate to see you in pain. Please, take care of yourself."

"I assure you, I am perfectly well," he insisted.

But she dismissed his claim. "Now, make haste before your cousin tries to harass Miguel as well."

In an instant, Cárcel's voice dropped to a near growl. Although he was aware of this, he couldn't control himself in that moment. "He harassed you?"

She blinked at him, startled, before a soft chuckle escaped her lips. "What has gotten into you now?"

"Answer me, Inés," he pressed, his eyes blazing with rage, ready to storm off to the crypt with a loaded gun if she gave even the faintest nod.

"I did not mean it literally," she explained. "You know I have found him galling ever since I was young... But we exchanged nothing more than a brief greeting during the mass. How could he have harassed me in that short time?"

He took a deep breath, the air seeming to stick in his throat as he barely managed to say, "Indeed...you have always disliked him."

It was laughable that this was the most insulting thing he had ever said about Oscar in her presence. Yet, no mater how much he abhorred the man or how many lifetimes he lived, Oscar would always be the crown prince and the future liege lord of House Escalante. To act against Oscar, even out of justice, would mean signing his own death warrant-he would be crushed like a worm underfoot. Cárcel's sworn duty was to serve and protect the prince, however loathsome. Even if he resolved to murder Oscar, Cárcel risked everything dear to him in the process, there was no guarantee that the wretch would truly "die". No, it would be a futile effort, unless Cárcel held an unwavering belief that the crown prince was destined to fall at his hands.

Perhaps, by some grace, he would succeed and live the rest of his life in peace. But it was also possible that his actions would condemn them to yet another cruel cycle. He imagined the wave of memories flooding back in some future lifetime, leaving him stumbling through another existence like a fool. And worse still, the thought of Oscar laying claim to Inés once more made his hands tremble with rage. Slaying Oscar would be a reckless gamble if it meant he had to sacrifice her.

For now, all he could do was defy Oscar's wishes and survive. But even then, the thought of the crown prince casting his foul eyes upon Inés made his blood boil.

Inés sighed, drawing his attention. "Is that why you sought me out?"

"Well... I know that you dislike him, and..." He mumbled like a fool, his voice faltering.

"That may have been true many years ago, but not anymore."

His face crumbled, and without a word, he pulled her to him, cradling her tightly against his chest to hide his anguish. "Dislike" seemed a gross understatement for all the pain she must have endured. Helplessness consumed him like a bog as she repeated herself, clearly trying to put his mind at ease.

A part of him wished she would say the words aloud -that she found Oscar unbearably loathsome, that she never wanted to see his face again, that she wished for him to die the most excruciating death imaginable. One word from her, one command, and Cárcel would do it without a second thought.

Of course, he wished to spend the rest of his life by her side. But he had another plan lurking in the back of his mind, much like the few belongings he had always carried with him during his days on the battlefield in case of his untimely death. One chance. That was all he needed to end the crown prince's life, and it mattered not what fate the wretch was ordained. As for Cárcel himself, he would meet his own "unfated death" once he had purged every trace of that vile presence from Inés's life. He would have plenty of opportunities to carry out this task during his career as a naval officer. He didn't know what foolish wish he had made every time he died in the lifetimes that he had forgotten, but this time, he was confident that he could make it work.

Yes, he would do anything to protect her from whatever schemes that abominable wretch might devise.

Cárcel knew that Inés would no longer need him once she was freed from all this. She wouldn't have to choose him simply to escape Oscar's clutches, and she wouldn't be bound to a loveless marriage that she would eventually destroy with her own hands. Perhaps she would even find someone worthy of her love, unburdened from all the chains that had weighed her down in the past.

But this thought wasn't enough to deter him, for he would forget what it felt like to be hers, to belong to her and to know she belonged to him-he wouldn't feel the terrible sense of loss. And yet, he was certain that he would fall in love with her all over again, even if all memory of her vanished. His soul would always find its way back to Inés, drawn to her like the tide to the shore.

Such was the depth of his blind love. Not even being thrown into another life could strip that away from him. He simply wished for her to be safe and free, even if it cost him all the cherished memories of the life he had now. If only she would speak the words, that she wanted Oscar's death, then...

"What a terrible brother you are," Inés said in playful reprimand. "Your duty is to stay with Miguel, is it not?"

"I know," Cárcel muttered, his voice hoarse, almost fragile. "But surely... he will manage alone for a little while."

"Perhaps, but you didn't have to seek me out for something so insignificant."

She allowed him to squeeze her tighter for a moment longer, letting his desperate embrace speak for all the things he couldn't say aloud. Then, she gently wrapped her arms around him, as if to soothe away all the dark, vengeful thoughts he harbored.

Suddenly, he recalled the words she had once whispered to him. "I always pray for your safety. I have been praying for your health of late. Promise me you will not allow harm to befall you."

In the end, it was always Inés who stirred those waves of staggering impulsiveness within him, and she alone could quell them. Inés Escalante was the anchor of his life and his beloved wife-not Inés Valeztena Ortega de Perez, the Juana by the Sevillan Sea, or even Inés Valeztena.

It still felt surreal that Inés truly wanted to build a life with him. Gratitude overwhelmed him each time he remembered that, especially after all those lifetimes drowning in the shadow of an unrequited love. She was the one who had made him accept the idea of his own death, and who gave him the reason to fight against it. Perhaps, then, it wasn't so unreasonable to accept-even embrace-his own foolishness.

Inés rose on her tiptoes and pressed a gentle kiss to his chin. "May I come with you to see Miguel?"

He shook his head, regret evident in his eyes. "I do not think that would be wise."

She gave him a slight nod and said, "That's fine. Go and be with him, now. Do not distract yourself by thinking of me."

"I could never stop thinking of you, regardless of what Miguel does," he whispered as if he was confessing a grave sin to a priest, and leaned down to bury his face in her shoulder. "I would rather die than see you in pain."

Inés clicked her tongue softly, a gentle rebuke. "Why would you say such things..."

"I cannot breathe when I think of all the pain you'd endured while I remained ignorant... I despise those four years I spent not knowing you'd been wasting away in Perez."

She stroked the back of his head as she said in a firm voice, "You mustn't blame yourself for that. Remember, we were nothing to each other until we married."

He let out a shaky breath. "I can imagine what those six months had been like for Miguel... but I cannot fathom his grief now. To think of waking up to a world without you... What if it all happened somewhere far away, and I never even knew...?"

"Cárcel."

"I cannot bear the thought of you suffering, not even for a heartbeat," he said weakly. "Promise me you'll tell me at once if anyone hurts you in any way. Then I will-"

Inés hushed him with a gentle firmness. "You are all I need, Cárcel. Nothing else."

He froze, struck by her words. She stood on her toes again to kiss his temple, directing a cold glare at Oscar, who had been watching them from the far end of the hallway. Although he was quite a distance away to hear their exchange, she could still see the way his face crumpled.

She whispered with fierce tenderness, "You are all I desire." Then she pulled him closer by his neck and kissed him on the lips.

When she looked up again, Oscar was gone.