***
Nine years had passed since Inés, on little more than a fleeting impulse, took in Regina Merillo's love child -a boy wandering through life unaware of the truth behind his own birth. At that time, she was but fifteen, and she had just started to look into Emiliano.
She had only caught a short glimpse of Regina while visiting Empress Cayetana, but that brief encounter stirred a memory of one of her mother's scornful whispers.
"Sometimes that insolent woman still carries herself as though she were one of the emperor's lovers," her mother had remarked, casting a disdainful glance toward Regina. "I remember how miserable she looked after giving birth to his love child. She seemed unsure of what to do with the baby. But when the baby died, she acted like a great burden had been lifted from her shoulders and ran back to Her Majesty, doing every single selfish thing in the world to save herself... Truly, I do not understand her. No mother worth her salt would do such a thing."
Strangely enough, as her mother's scathing words resurfaced in her mind, Inés remembered how Regina had lent her a hand from time to time. She spent a long moment thinking back on the woman's quiet acts of kindness over the years. She couldn't shake the feeling that she had accidentally taken an item from a shop without paying for it. At some point, Inés found herself wondering if Regina had truly given birth to the emperor's child. Perhaps, the baby had survived, just like how Oscar imagined the love child of House Esquel had and was still alive somewhere.
Even if Regina's child were alive, however, he would be of little consequence. He couldn't even be the recipient of Oscar's hatred and wariness. To begin with, the crown prince had never been aware of the child's existence.
The emperor's other love child, the one born to a mother from House Esquel, had perished young, claimed by a terrible disease that swept through the capital when he was only six years old. Yet, ominous rumors about him continued to fester in Mendoza's shadowed corners every now and then. Oscar, ever suspicious, had always kept a watchful eye on the boy, as far as she could recall. This was mainly due to the fact that the child had been granted the emperor's surname, unlike Regina's son or Dolores. Oscar had always suspected that House Esquel had hidden the child, and that his half-brother was somewhere out there, growing older and older every year.
Oscar harbored wariness against all of his father's lovers once he grew out of childhood. At a certain point, he began to obsessively pursue and fear the idea of the emperor having a secret love child. Inés never fully understood his paranoia, and he couldn't comprehend her ignorance. He claimed his father was wary of him, and that the emperor might one day replace him with a more favored heir. Whenever he spoke of this matter, his infuriating mask of calmness would crumble, revealing pure madness in his eyes.
Yet, he never directed his suspicions toward Regina. Her reputation as Empress Cayetana's faithful servant had all but erased her glorious past as the emperor's lover from the collective memory of the court. Also, the empress had played a part in every single moment of the life of Regina's child, from his birth to his quiet passing. The child's existence was a well-guarded secret, known only to a handful within the empire, unlike the more widely acknowledged illegitimates such as Dolores or the child of House Esquel.
But what if the child had somehow escaped Cayetana's grasp?
Discreetly, Inés began to retrace her past connections, ensuring that even Raúl remained unaware of her subtle inquiries. She estimated it would take a few years at the very least to uncover the truth, but she hadn't approached the search with much vigor in the first place. In fact, she didn't even place much value in the small acts of kindness Regina had shown her. She simply thought she had an obligation to repay Regina. And if the child was still alive, she could use him as a shield of sorts against the court someday.
In hindsight, she knew that she should have approached the matter with more reasoned caution. Had she done so, she might have realized that she was only throwing herself on top of a cannonball by seeking out the boy. However, in her youthful naiveté, she had justified the idea of accepting his existence. At some point, she found herself convinced that Regina's child was still alive, despite the glaring absence of evidence to support her foolish thought.
Even then, she had never predicted she would end up finding him in an art store in the heart of Mendoza. In fact, she encountered him at Don Joaquín's shop, whom she had already contacted in an attempt to find Emiliano. This chance encounter came only about three or four months after she initially felt a hint of curiosity about Regina's child. She had spent a fortune on hiring spies-ensuring even they didn't know the identity of their target-only to stumble upon him herself.
Funnily enough, it was her sheer obstinacy that ultimately led her to the emperor's lost son. If she hadn't decided to launch a foolish search for someone who could very well be dead, she wouldn't have recognized Lourdes even if he had walked past her and her spies dozens of times.
On that fateful day, she had suppressed the urge to run up to Lourdes and grab him by his arm. Instead, she disguised herself as the daughter of a merchant and quietly inquired after his name. A few days later, she sent one of her men to gather more information.
The spy had reported, "The name is Mateo, and he's working at a brewery in the outskirts of Mendoza.
Apparently, he spends whatever coin he earns on art supplies. Don Joaquín commends his dedication, but he doesn't recommend patronizing him-he says the young man lacks talent."
It made sense that he had been given the holy name of Mateo, since he was one of the many nameless children who had been taken in by a small chapel in Lerida-a common name indeed. Inés had forced him to change his name to "Lourdes", claiming "Mateo" wasn't artistic enough. Then she paired him with Emiliano and sent them both to Oli Garcia, far away from Mendoza. Her reasoning was that it would be easier to protect them both if they stayed together.
Her involvement had not ended there. She ordered her spies to write to her regarding the statements they got from various individuals who had been involved with Lourdes at one point or another. Two of those sources stood out to her-a mercenary who had been paid to abandon the baby in the remote mountainous region of Lerida, and a woman who was tasked with performing minor chores in a small chapel in Lerida.
"Yes... the summer of Year 762. Only one baby was abandoned in Lerida during that time. I remember this clearly, because doing such a thing is quite unusual in the prosperous, blessed season of summer. He told us that he was five years old, even though he was small enough to be four... that poor boy probably grew up longing for food. The priest gave him the name of Mateo, since he wouldn't tell us no matter how many times we asked... Anything notable? I suppose he couldn't talk very well, so much that we initially thought he couldn't speak at all. But he spoke very well after some time, so we figured he just needed to learn."
"He had a small cut on the side of his neck. It ended up scarring, which was interesting... I thought it was only a minor cut. I remember it was in the shape of a cross, and... a zeta. Two overlapping shapes. Our priest always made him wear shirts with a high collar, as if there was some kind of special meaning tied to that scar... It became smaller and much less noticeable as Mateo grew older."
The two statements had been entirely consistent with one another. She received many other letters containing conflicting stories about Lourdes, but she had made the instinctive decision to exclude every single piece of information that opposed the one she had received from the mercenary and the woman.
Her spies had made sure to wipe their paths clean and use several different identities before sending the letters to Inés, which meant she was in no kind of danger. Even then, she was well aware that she was holding a double-edged blade, and she would set something in motion the moment she handed it over to Regina-a powerful force she wouldn't be able to stop.
When she finally arranged a meeting with Regina some time later, Regina had told her the truth.
"There was a knight who kept a close eye on me ever since I gave birth to the child, and I watched him as well... which is how I knew he was interested in me, or simply my body. So I seduced him and allowed him into bed with me, but not for pleasure. I suppose I had a small hope in my mind... I thought he would laugh at me and take advantage of me for giving away my body so cheaply. However, he suggested that I mark my son before sending him away, saying I may be able to see him again if I was very lucky..."
Inés had stayed silent, allowing her to talk.
"He planted a belief in my heart, the hope that my son might survive a little longer. I found more comfort in spending that night with him than I ever did with the emperor... that vile man who would cast away his own child without a second thought. In just a few days, the knight managed to find the corpse of an orphan who looked just like my son. His hair was red, and I pulled up his eyelids to see his eyes were blue as well... The knight told me the orphan had been six when he died, but he looked much younger because of how thin he was, with ribs showing through his skin. Just like my boy. You see, 'they' only fed him enough to keep him alive."Regina took a trembling breath. "The two of us placed cuts and scrapes all over that poor child's cold, dead face. That's when I knew... I would be going to hell upon my death. Before the knight took my son away, I took a knife and placed a cut on the side of his neck. I carved a cross-my prayers to the Lord-and over it, a zeta, the last letter of the alphabet. It was a symbol of my last shred of hope. I believe that is the exact scar you were talking about, my lady."
As she spoke, Inés recalled what the side of Lourdes's neck had looked like as he exited the art shop. In her mind, her "weapon" finally became complete.
Regina had continued, "I held that poor orphan in my arms as if he was my own child, and the knight left with my son even as his little neck bled. That was the last time I ever saw the two of them... A few hours later, I screamed and cried over the body of the orphan, just as I had promised the knight. Her Majesty inspected the body herself and comforted me... then I was free."
Giving birth to the emperor's child had been the worst tragedy to ever befall Regina. Although she had initially daydreamed of a happy future for herself and the child, the illusion had not lasted long.
When Cayetana pressured her into attempting to kill the child in the womb, she tried multiple times but failed. Afterward, the imperial court had declared that she was carrying the seed of the emperor, which meant every single member of House Merillo would be punished for treason if she successfully got rid of the baby. They essentially demanded that Regina risk her entire life to give birth to a child who would be killed upon entering the world without ever getting the chance to be a part of the imperial family.
"Her Majesty told me that if I gave birth to a son, he would be killed before he could take his first breath. If it was a daughter, she would be allowed to stay with me until she was old enough to be sold to some old man... Every day since then, I prayed it would be a daughter."
"But unfortunately..."
"Yes, it was a son."
In the end, neither Regina nor Cayetana had gotten what they wanted.
Lourdes-previously Mateo, the love child of the emperor who had never even received a name from his birth mother-was only a year younger than the crown prince when he was born. The imperial court had hinted at the importance of being prepared for the future, slyly pointing out the difficulties the emperor and empress had faced when trying to produce a heir, as well as Oscar's frail, sickly nature. Their advice was that it would be beneficial to have a replacement ready just in case the crown prince met an unfortunate demise, since many babies died before living a full year of life even if they were born healthy. At this, Cayetana claimed that she stood for the greater good and snatched up the love child as if she was his mother.
Thus began Regina Merillo's long and silent suffering.