***
"You can use this to dry your tears now that you are done crying," she said.
Cárcel clutched the embroidery hoop to his chest.
"Never."
"Why not?"
"I don't want anything to stain this."
She scoffed, rolling her eyes. "My blood already stained it."
A small frown creased his brow. "Blast it, Inés, how did you get all this blood on here?"
"Can't you tell?" Inés replied, nodding her chin toward the embroidery hoop. She meant that the crooked stitches should make it obvious enough that she had stabbed herself in the fingers several times. But she found herself blinking in confusion when she saw his face as he lowered the hoop. She had wanted him to smile, but he simply looked at her, eyes red and cheeks wet with tears. He seemed to be more deeply moved than she had anticipated.
"Why did you..." he began in a soft, throaty voice. "You didn't have to go to such lengths for me."
"Cárcel."
"You do not even believe in this superstition. I truly... I don't need this. You didn't need to do this for me. I..." His gestures spoke otherwise-his eyes fell on the gift, his hand gingerly holding the hoop, not even daring to touch the precious handkerchief.
Inés knew he was being sincere about her not having to go through such trouble. She would have been irritated to see him take her efforts for granted, but she also couldn't understand why he was so utterly moved by something this small. She was beginning to think that he was being too sentimental when he could simply thank her.
Just then, he murmured, "It must have hurt..." He traced his fingers over the bloodstains on the edge of the handkerchief.
Her annoyance melted away again. "I was just clumsy. And I was pressed for time. It happened while I tried to finish it in the carriage."
"You were working on this on your way here?"
She bobbed her head. "That's why it looks like a mess. I'm usually not that bad. Look, the stitch looks neat before the last two letters of Escalante, doesn't it?" she said, belatedly making excuses.
He tilted his head sideways. "It doesn't look neat."
"All right, I may have-"
"It looks perfect."
"Well... I suppose beauty is in the eye of the beholder."
Cárcel was regarding the handkerchief set in the embroidery hoop as though it were a holy relic. He hadn't spared her a glance since laying eyes on her work.
It occurred to Inés that all of the hard work and suffering she had put in the handkerchief was entirely worth it as she watched her husband look so enamored. She regretted not starting earlier, taking more time and praying more as she embroidered. The letters looked as though they were scribbled by someone on the run, and she felt a pang of guilt at the way he treated the gift as though it were a diamond mine.
"I should have started on it much earlier..." she told him, her voice full of regret. "It was only when your departure was confirmed that I grew hasty. So-"
"It must have taken so much work."
"It really didn't..."
"Is this why you kept sneaking out of bed at night?"
"Yes."
Cárcel beamed at her, his face glistening with tears.
Inés held back a shuddering breath. Her thoughts of shamelessly boasting about her achievement vanished as she gazed at his smile. Ah... I wish it was as perfect as you say it is. If I had only been able to give you a proper gift, instead of this... Because it is my prayer for your safety. You always deserved much better... even now.
Suppressing her thoughts, she instead said, "I apologize for not being very good. I was just in a hurry, and felt like doing something for you. Even if I don't believe in it, if someone does... I don't mind it being superstition." Even as she realized that she was making excuses, she continued, "I didn't want to regret sparing myself the small effort of taking up a needle just in case that was what kept you from coming back to me... Just because I failed to do this for you."
Cárcel let out a chuckle. "I'll think of you whenever I look at this handkerchief, Inés."
"I am sure you will."
"And if I think of you, I won't be able to die, even if death comes to claim me. This is not superstition at all, Inés." Finally, he dared to touch his embroidered name, looking as though he were dreaming. "This feels so unreal... Cárcel Escalante de Inés?"
"Do you not mind me changing your name?" she asked.
"You are much more impressive than the blasted name of Esposa."
He would never know this was nothing more than a trick to make his name shorter. She didn't hesitate to bury the truth deep in her heart and embraced him once more. But the last remaining shred of her self-awareness remembered to advise him, "But do not show anyone. Everyone will laugh at you."
"I would love to parade it... You don't want me to?"
"You mustn't."
They exchanged a few more words before pressing their lips together in a sweet kiss. She then pushed him down onto the sofa and climbed on top of him.
***
"Your fingers really are a mess," Cárcel said, his gaze glued to her hands. His blue eyes were no longer full of tears, but the way he inspected every single one of her fingers was still woeful.
Inés let out a slightly frustrated sigh. He ought to be looking at my face instead of wasting his time... "It does not even hurt."
"It must have hurt..." he muttered as if he hadn't heard her. His eyes rested on each blotchy fingertip with great concern.
He caressed her fingers again and again until the water they were sitting in together in the bathtub cooled down. He ignored the way she was fondling his member under the water with her feet as though it were not attached to him. He had sucked on and licked her fingers the whole time they had made love before entering the bathtub, and yet he still seemed unsatisfied. His touch was tender and loving as he grazed her smooth fingernails. It made her feel like a lewd woman going after her uninterested husband.
Inés, not realizing that she was pouting, slowly pressed her foot against his erection, starting from her heel to the tips of her toes before retracting her leg. Cárcel let out a small moan and smiled mischievously, reaching for her ankle and dragging her leg back toward him. Just as she had hoped for, the tender atmosphere turned tense. She allowed him to pull her closer, not even pretending to resist, and let him lift her onto his lap.
"Do you wish to continue?" he asked. "I am holding back for your sake, you know."
In lieu of an answer, she snaked the hand he had been caressing down into the water and slid it up his arousal. Having dragged her ankles behind his waist, he reached behind her and grasped at her buttocks as if to pull apart the cheeks. She collapsed against him as he quickly pulled her close, and her soft mounds pressed against his taut chest. She let out a languid moan and began to suck at his throat and collarbone, making sure to rub her breasts against his nipples.
Cárcel rumbled out a curse, his voice hoarse. He moved one of his hands from her backside toward her front and trailed it down her stomach, heading for her folds. Inés figured that he would penetrate her right away and obligingly lifted her buttocks.
"I want more, right away," she whispered. "We don't have time."
"You are so resolute... but still, allow me a moment. I don't want to hurt you."
She let out a moan before telling him, "Don't you remember how much you filled me up earlier? You won't hurt me."
"Of course I do. You let it all dribble out, though. What if you're dry inside because it all oozed out, hmm?" He parted her delicate folds and began to rub her sensitive flesh.
With her buttocks still off of his lap, she allowed him to touch her. She couldn't wait. She could feel how her folds were still slick from the juices they hadn't bothered to wash off after their earlier bout of lovemaking. The pressure from his fingertips quickly increased as he slipped his long middle finger inside her, making her moan.
"See, Inés? You are barely able to take one of my fingers."
"It's still wet and... slick...all the way," she muttered breathlessly, grabbing his wrist and lowering her body as though his erection were inside her. "It's still wet from you, so..."
He curled his finger inside her, pushing against the bumpy flesh, his eyes glinting hotly. "Is all this really just from me?"
"You made me wet earlier, and-" she gasped, her arched back shivering slightly.
"What about now? Hmm?"
"You're making me wet... again..." she moaned.
"Your little feet were being so lewd... You were fondling me as though you were disinterested, but you're drenched."
Inés nodded without a trace of embarrassment and aggressively sucked at his cheek and chin.
Cárcel turned to chase her lips and bit down on them roughly. "Where's my answer?"
"Tormenting you... made me aroused," she confessed aloud, rising to her knees to take out his hand.
His member immediately replaced his finger. Their bodies were hot as they moved even in the cool water. The water sloshed, lapping against their bodies and splashing out of the tub over and over again. Her green eyes glinted, no longer hazy with lust the more he thrust up into her and made her body shake.
Tears rolled down her cheeks in secret as she stared at the back of his head and soon closed her eyes, wrapping her arms around his shoulders in a tight embrace.
***
Before Inés set off, Isabella asked her not to give Cárcel any news of Mendoza.
"He will not be able to do anything about the affairs of the land once he is at sea. He does not need to know about any of this. Knowing it won't change anything. It isn't as though he can stay. Do not tell him that his father may be dying or dead already, whether it be from a stroke, poison, or at the hands of an assassin. I worry about what Cárcel might miss on board if he is distracted by these concerns..."
Isabella had told her that she knew death might await her husband, but that recovery was an option as well. Either way, nothing was guaranteed now, and Cárcel knowing about it would be distracting. She said that she did not want her son to live in uncertainty out at sea.
Though Inés believed that Cárcel ought to know at least part of what was happening, the worst-case scenario of him being too distracted to preserve his own life on board convinced her to do as Isabella had asked. She wouldn't be able to alert Cárcel of the constantly changing state of things in Mendoza anyway, so she explained it all away.
She told Cárcel that Juan had returned early to the manor because he was unwell, and that Miguel had acted like a responsible son after seeing his father like that. That he had finally talked to his mother again, and that he had even reassured his sister-in-law that he would take care of things while she was in Calztela.
Cárcel had briefly worried over his father but had rejoiced at the news that it was nothing serious. "So Miguel saw you off? I shall reward him by sending him off to El Ledequilla again," he had said. It didn't sound like much of a reward, but Miguel had been expelled from the academy, so allowing him to attend it again was a good thing.
The night they spent together was wonderful. Even as her eyelids grew heavy, Inés made him promise to wake her before setting off in the morning, and threatened him several times, saying that she would chase after him on a ship if he dared to simply leave her a letter. She then finally fell asleep, not forgetting to mention that Luciano had once left Perez in her youth without saying goodbye, and that she had been sad all spring because of it. It hadn't happened to her in this lifetime, but she mentioned it as though it had, knowing that only Cárcel would understand. He promised her again and again that he would not act like her fool of a brother and indeed wake her at the crack of dawn to share breakfast with her.
The sun was overcast with clouds so that the morning was very dark. She had planned to follow him to the harbor and wave him goodbye there, but everyone dissuaded her because it looked like rain. So they were forced to say goodbye at the door.
"I'll be back, Inés."
Their hands slowly retreated from a tight embrace. He looked down at her with a bright smile for a while before placing his white uniform cap on his head and turning away.
Her lips felt like they were sewed shut. She watched in a daze as he descended the stairs from their front door and walked over to the road, the household staff all waving him goodbye outside. She was frozen to the spot.
She could tell that he was slowly moving away by the direction of everyone's gazes lowering to the foot of the hill. She blinked and seemed to spring back to life, hurriedly rushing up the stairs to the second floor. She quickly entered the old storage room with the window that overlooked the road down to Logorño Hill and threw it open. She spotted him already approaching the foot of the hill.
"Cárcel!"
He stopped his horse in its tracks and turned around, looking surprised, before catching sight of her and giving her a dazzling smile. She could see it clearly even from the distance.
Inés found herself struck speechless by a sob in her throat and felt like the biggest fool as she barely managed to wave her hand at him. He waved back, twisted around in his saddle to face her. Then he turned his horse back to the front and galloped forward.
Soon, he disappeared in the distance.