335

--The ocean remains unfilled, even as the river flows to it--

It was the night after the victory celebration. The bustling and chattering of the guests had long since faded, as well as the bright lights that had been illuminating the vast gardens of the Escalante Manor.

Angelica had just learned that her apothecary had been at the root of the issue at hand. The poor physician's hands were trembling and even paler than Inés's, visibly damp with cold sweat. She avoided making eye contact with Inés as if she were a sinner standing in front of a priest. Duke Valeztena had yelled at her angrily, expressing his doubts about putting his daughter's safety in Angelica's hands again, and now the physician looked like a small animal that knew a predator was looming behind it.

Just an hour ago, she had likely predicted that she would be dragged away to pay for her crimes, though she was in no way to blame for what had happened. She must have been tormented by the knowledge that she had picked out the apothecary herself, albeit a long time ago, and she made the choice to trust him and get medicine from him. In a sense, the crushing weight of responsibility had been gradually transferred to her shoulders every time the medicine arrived at the manor-and now, many years later, that weight was more than enough to drag her down into her grave.

But there was no use dwelling on it, since the noxious drug would have made its way into Inés's mouth regardless of who Angelica had chosen in the past. This was the logic that Inés used to forgive Angelica, her voice impassive, but Angelica did not seem comforted by her words.

Angelica had only been a pawn in the hands of the true sinner. Inés had no desire to waste her anger on someone who hadn't even known of her own role in the situation. She told her irate father that they still had a use for the physician, and she meant it.

Her head was starting to feel too heavy for her neck; she leaned it against Isabella's arm. Yes... I must save my anger for the evil spawn of Valenza. If she were here, she wouldn't be shaking in fear or averting her eyes in guilt...

It was the unfortunate truth of the world that true sinners weren't always the ones who cowered in fear, and that somebody had to shoulder the burden that those sinners left behind. In the end, it didn't matter how much regret was in Angelica's heart-Inés had already ingested an unfathomable amount of panote, and had Dante not betrayed Alicia, she would have continued to swallow the dreadful thing.

Eventually, she would have killed her own precious child without even knowing she was carrying it. She would still be praying that she'd be able to conceive upon her husband's return, hoping her womb would regain some semblance of strength and health.

She felt a tingling sensation in her paralyzed left hand, but it was only fleeting. Though she was doing her best to hide her current state from Isabella and Juana, she knew they wouldn't notice anything for quite some time even if she didn't make such an effort-after all, their concern was directed at something else entirely.

Isabella, who had been sitting by Inés's head and cradling her shoulders, kissed the top of her head. "My dear heavens, Inés..." she murmured anxiously.

Inés whispered that she was fine, but Isabella's face remained pale with shock. Juana still had tears in her eyes, despite having witnessed Inés collapse countless times before.

She glanced around the bedroom to see a similar look of shock and worry on the others' faces-the men of Escalante and Valeztena, sitting far away from the bed to give the women some privacy; Raul and Alfonso, who were standing by them like silent pillars; and Juana, who stood behind Angelica while nervously clutching her dress. The timid young nobleman, Mario, stood beside her with a face etched with misery, even though he was the one who had given the answer.

Every single soul in the room wanted Angelica to confirm Inés's pregnancy and prove that the poison hadn't managed to harm her after all. They wanted to hear that she could still carry an heir of Escalante, that she had overpowered the effects of the substance. However, Inés wasn't waiting to hear Angelica's answer.

Mario was quite a capable man who had recognized Juan's symptoms right away, not to mention he had immediately recognized the panote. Though he had confessed that he didn't have much experience treating women, she trusted the look in his eyes more than anything else-he appeared certain that she was carrying a child, yet the misery still lingered.

It was undeniable proof that the news of her pregnancy wasn't entirely good.

Nearly four months had passed since Cárcel's departure, and she had seen blood on her undergarments several times. She had only brushed them off as mildly disappointing occurrences, telling herself that it was either her menstrual cycle or stress. She thought there was no need to feel hurried, since Cárcel would return safe and sound. She had no idea her child had been growing that entire time, having barely managed to attach itself to her weak womb.

Now, she knew there was absolutely no time to waste. She had been foolish to hope that her enemies would sink into the mud without her having to push them in, to promise herself that she wouldn't get any blood in her hands.

It appeared that the silence coiling in the room like a snake was too much for Juana to handle. She said quietly, "On the bright side... they put the panote into your medicine right after you married Lord Cárcel. You didn't take any of that medicine while in Calztela, did you?"

As she was the one who had given Inés her medicine during the summer that they spent in Mendoza, it made sense that she was terrified of having any more guilt placed on her shoulders. Though she had been taking the medicine with decreasing frequency ever since Cárcel went to war, the entirety of autumn had already passed.

Juana's face had already been filled with misery and guilt as she told Mario how many times she had given Inés the medicine; now she looked like she was on the verge of tears.

Inés nodded lightly, trying to ease her worry. "Mother sent them to me on a regular basis, but I didn't take most of it."

"Oh, thank goodness... Thank the heavens. Maybe it's a good thing that your relationship with the duchess is so strained..." Juana said with genuine relief.

Inés chuckled under her breath.

Indeed, the medicine from Mendoza had been delivered regularly to the Calztela residence. Yet, despite acknowledging that pregnancy was somewhat necessary, she had felt a strong aversion to the medicine that she had been taking for so many years. As a child, she had no choice but to take it, and looking back on it, she wondered where she would be now if she hadn't ingested the medicine-perhaps there wouldn't have been anything for the panote to ruin, no womb for her baby to grow within. Regardless, the aversion she felt toward the medicine had persisted even after her marriage and continued well into the most recent spring.

The shift had occurred after the three days that she spent with Cárcel in Admiral Calderon's hut-no, perhaps even before that. One day, while at the manor in Calztela, she had imagined what Cárcel's child would look like. After that, it was like a switch had flipped, and she became truly desperate for a child.

That was when it had all begun. A small chuckle escaped her lips. What a fool she had been! She recalled how she had screamed at Cárcel upon discovering his tilidad, and how he had let her hit him, curse at him, and berate him. He had taken the contraceptives for her, and he had stopped taking them for her as well. Yet, from the moment he decided to stop, she had been destroying her own womb.

"There's something I still don't understand," Juana said, tilting her head in confusion. "Why did it start after your marriage ceremony?"

It was like Alicia had been inspired by their marriage ceremony in some twisted way. Inés suppressed a laugh, thinking it had been quite impulsive on her part.

"I gather this could have started even earlier if you had married sooner," Isabella said. 

"Perhaps," Ines responded.

Suppressing a pained noise, Isabella gently stroked Inés's hair, murmuring that perhaps it had been a blessing in disguise.

At last, there was a faint sense of peace, and Inés wearily allowed her eyelids to fall. Her left hand was still paralyzed and the whole world seemed to be spinning. There were emotions swirling inside her, something resembling relief and joy, but she pushed them out of her as if cutting them off with a knife. Perhaps this was nothing to celebrate after all, and maybe the happiness would only be temporary. Maybe, just maybe, she would come to think that it would have been better not to have conceived at all, so that she wouldn't have anything to lose-she had thought the same thing in the days long past.

Perhaps this would come in a few days, a few months, or maybe after the child was born, if she

was lucky. But what was she supposed to do if the baby died before she could even give it a name?

"I wish I could throw up every single bit of food I ate in Mendoza," she muttered to Isabella.

"Ines."

"I can't believe I put that poison in my own mouth... and allowed it into my stomach..." she gritted out. "I hate the very thought of it."

"It's all right, Inés. It's all right, darling. Everything's going to be fine..."

"It's my fault. I made another mistake. What if-"

"This is an evil, vile act, no doubt. But it only happened once, and not for very long. You are still young, and this won't be the end, regardless of whether or not you are pregnant. Your body must not have sustained too much damage, I know it... You are a faithful daughter of God..."

"I have made a wrong choice, yet again. Another mistake..." Inés whispered to Isabella, though she didn't know the true meaning of her words.

Isabella's hands embraced her tightly. "You did nothing wrong, Inés, I swear in God's name. Only a demon could do something like this. A mere mortal's mistake could never..."

Until that point, Luciano had been only watching from a distance, his anxious eyes riveted on Inés. Now, he approached her and drew back the curtain that had been half-draped to cover the bed. Isabella gestured at him with one hand, and he sat on the left side of the bed. When he carefully reached out to hold Inés's left hand, he immediately realized that it was frozen like stone. His face crumpled, but he remained quiet upon glancing at Isabella-she appeared even more desperate and heartbroken than Olga, who hadn't been able to enter the room.

"Miguel spoke with Lord Dante," Isabella said, running a hand over Inés's face. "According to him, Alicia was so careful not to leave a trail that she didn't directly interact with any of the physicians or apothecaries. She only grew impatient enough to reach out to the manor's employees after the Formente competition." Her voice took on a reassuring tone as she continued after a short pause. "I know that is already two seasons past... but there are too many employees in the kitchen. She couldn't have managed to slip in the noxious thing every single time."

"It's all right, Isabella," Inés finally responded. "I was simply...venting my frustrations. I'm fine."

"The butler has been turning the manor inside out, searching for those who were involved. From now on, there will be nothing for you to be concerned about. Everything that you and Juan consume shall be placed under close surveillance, starting from the moment it's cooked." Isabella's eyes suddenly turned sharp as she glanced at Angelica. "Do you have anything to tell us yet?"

Angelica, who had been holding Inés's hand with her trembling fingers, slowly placed it back on the bed. "Without a doubt... Lady Inés is carrying a child." It was the same conclusion that Mario had reached, and they probably had the same reason why they hesitated to share the results of the examination-they knew that it would mark the beginning of an impossible journey.

"Are you certain?"

"Yes, I am. However..." She appeared to be contemplating how to gently break the news that the baby could never be born.

It was the answer they had all been waiting for, and yet none of those present reacted. The room descended into a peculiar silence.

Juana was the first to move. She wrapped her arms around Inés, tears of joy trailing down her face. "Oh, thank the heavens!" she cried with glee, shattering the uneasy silence in the room. It seemed she hadn't heard Angelica trail off on her last word. "What a joyous occasion! Finally-finally, you are carrying a child, my dear lady. Those demons have failed. The Lord has finally sent you a child of your own!"

"I cannot breathe, Juana."

"It may still be difficult, but there is a hope. That's better than nothing. What joyful news!"

Sometimes, it was the smallest things that managed to change everything. The two dukes, who had been watching Juana grab Inés's cheeks and shower kisses upon her, finally burst out laughing. Isabella also shed tears of joy, gently congratulating Inés. The tension that had been stretched taut across the room dispersed, replaced by joy.

Juana clasped her hands together with a beaming smile. "Lord Cárcel will be overjoyed when he hears of this!"

"Indeed," Isabella joined in. "I wouldn't be surprised if he turned the ship around immediately."

"Of course he would! His sun is carrying his child!"

Inés shot a glare at Juana. "He said he wouldn't call me that anymore, since it has been unusually hot. Furthermore, that was supposed to be a secret-"

"My goodness! Is that what Cárcel calls you?" Isabella asked.

"Congratulations, Inés. I suppose he has finally helped you conceive... despite the effects of the poison," Duke Valeztena remarked with a little note of awe in his voice.

Miguel and Juan also offered words of congratulations.

Luciano, who had been stroking his sister's paralyzed hand, reached out with his other hand to pat her on the head and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead. "We will no longer be following that dangerous plan of yours, Inés," he whispered in a voice that was small enough to be buried among the other voices, only audible to her.

Inés had no choice but to nod.