Chapter-360

Family pain

Jay-Jay's POV

My big shunga. If there was an award for being a shungabengbeng, I
know how many trophies I have. I've been nominated every year . The waiter brought down our coffee order.
The cup was so big that I used two hands to hold it properly and drink it. I couldn't hide the trembling of my
hand so the King of Snakes helped me put the cup back down on the table. "Please relax," Keifer whispered to
me. I suddenly regretted buying hot coffee. I was even more nervous while facing Aries's Dad. It's a good thing
Keifer didn't leave me. "Thank you," Ares said to the waiter before finally leaving our table. He drank from his
own cup first. I was stunned as I saw the large scar on his jaw. It was no different from Aries' scar on his
lower chest. Maybe because they got the same scar because of me and on the same day. Same incident. I
swallowed several times. Keifer held one of my hands so I looked at him. He smiled at me to tell me he was
here and everything would be okay. I tried to return his smile but it faded when the person in front of us spoke.
"How are you?" he asked me. I wanted to laugh and raise my eyebrows at him. His question was so strong
that it would make me panic. He gave us the trauma of Aries and now he's going to ask me how I am. It was
like he slapped me and asked if it hurt. Are you okay? "I mean after all these years. It's been a long time since
that... happened." he added. Even though it's been a long time, it still has an effect on us. We're not dirty
clothes that will be okay once they're washed. I looked at Keifer as if asking permission if I could answer. He
nodded as if he was prodding me. "T-The truth is... I don't feel comfortable seeing and being with you here. I
just want it to be over so I'll listen to what you have to say," I answered and I saw his acceptance. "I
understand." He stood up and walked towards me. I immediately clung to Keifer's arm because of fear and
nervousness about whatever he was planning. He immediately stood up to protect me but we were both
stunned by what he did next. He knelt right in front of me. The few customers and crew of the coffee shop
looked at us. "Mister, what are you doing?" Keifer asked. "I want to apologize for what I did back then. I will not
deny our plans to get a lot of money from the family that adopted Aries." He looked at me while saying that. "I
also want to get revenge on your mother even though I know she didn't really do anything bad to me.I didn't
think about the effect that would have on you as a child because all that mattered to me was that we
accomplished our plans." I grabbed Keifer's arm as he stood next to me. I didn't expect him to do this. I really
thought he just wanted to talk about Aries. "Believe me, I regret what happened. When I went to jail and met
God, I regretted everything. That's also the reason why I want to apologize, because it also made me realize
that I'm not the only one carrying the weight of what happened. If I had carried it for a long time, I know you
would too." I don't know why but I just burst into tears. The events that happened when he kidnapped Aries
and I came back to me. The nights we were looking for a way to escape and we slept next to each other
because of the cold and fear. The day he tried to take us away. The time I attacked him with the handcuffs.
And when I stabbed my brother. I want to be grateful for the times that I don't remember. I don't have the
trauma of being tortured over and over again. I don't have the suffering that something like that happened to
me once in my life. But when I think that Aries suffered and brought it upon himself, my conscience eats at
me. My brother carried all the suffering that night. And I think about
just why he doesn't want to talk to me anymore. The thick face of enjoying
life while someone else is being caught is what should be my suffering
too.
And we went through all of that because this man chose to do
us harm.
"My memory of that incident just came back." I hit
my chest. "I remembered what I did to you and what I did to
my brother." I took a deep breath. "It hurts me so much that
he brought all the trauma alone and I continue living because I don't
remember anything." I was about to cry so
Keifer immediately supported me by kneeling on one knee. "I don't understand why
people like you are so quick to hurt innocent people."
"I think you should leave," Keifer said to Ares but I immediately
stopped him. "No. Don't leave, I want to tell you everything!" I said
angrily . He stayed on his knees. He was bowed down and couldn't face me. "It's unsafe for your mental
health." Hari insisted but I just shook my head. "I'm so angry and I feel sorry for my brother! I almost killed him
that night!" I scolded and reached out to hit him. Keifer stopped me but because of my struggle I fell off the
chair causing me to reach him even closer. He received one punch, a tug and a slap from me but he didn't
fight back. He accepted it all. "If you hadn't kidnapped us, that wouldn't have happened to us!" Keifer grabbed
both my arms to stop me. "Please stop. You're hurting yourself." I didn't struggle anymore. Also out of
tenderness I stopped on my own. I leaned against Hari's chest while continuing to cry. "It's okay, just hit me all
over. Hurt me if that's the only way you can forgive me." Ares told me. "Mister." Keifer grabbed his attention.
"Please shut up." I heard the coffee shop crew approach me. There were three of them asking what the
problem was but Keifer just asked them for water. One of them immediately handed me a glass of water.
Keifer made me drink something which I tried to refuse but he insisted. I almost finished the contents of a
glass. I managed to calm him down then. "I really think he should leave. It would be better if we meet again
another day." Hari insisted but I refused him. "Jay, your memories just came back. You're torturing your brain
with too much emotion." "I have so much more to say, but I know Mama and Aries have more." I was
momentarily stunned by what I said. It was true that they had more to blame than me. That's why an idea
entered my mind. "Face them, face Mama and Aries." I ordered. He was obviously confused at first but he also
understood that I wanted to meet them now. I forced myself to stand even though I was still limp. The King,
who was next to me, helped me. "Let's go see them now." I ordered and picked up my bag that was at the foot
of the table. I led the way. I saw the crew and customers looking at me as if they were accusing me of being
crazy because of my appearance. Keifer immediately followed me and stopped me by grabbing my arm. "Jay,
calm down." I pulled his arm away. "I'm calm!" "Then why are you inviting this guy...this kidnapper to your own
home? What if there's a mess at home? You can't handle too much stress right now, your piece of memory
just came back." He was worried but I knew what I was doing. "Because he has to face Mama. He didn't just
do stupid things to me. So why would he only apologize to me?" "We don't know. Maybe he tried to talk to your
Mother or Aries too ." "And what if not? That man just wants forgiveness so he can sleep well at night but if
he's really sorry, he should ask for forgiveness from all of us!" I said angrily and I looked at the door of the
coffee shop when I saw him leave. Keifer took a deep breath. He was clearly against it and I could understand
why. He was worried. I had just returned some parts of my memory and then I came face to face with the one
who gave me and Aries trauma...or just Aries. "Okay, if that's really what you want. I can't let you do this alone.
I'll come with you to make sure you're okay," he said and approached his car to open the door across from the
driver's seats. "Even though I know that's not what's going to happen." he added as I approached to get in.
After closing the door, he told Ares to follow us. He had a car with him so it wasn't a problem for him. I was
quiet on the trip and so was Hari. I stared at the sideview mirror and looked at Aries's Dad's car. Making sure
he would follow and not change his mind. "I'm willing to pay millions just to read your mind right now," I pouted
at what the person next to me said. Too bad he's a millionaire. My brain is like a tangled thread right now. I can
already think of all the possibilities. I can also hear my Mom's crisp cheapness and Kuya Angelo's angry voice.
I can also imagine Aries' reaction . I suddenly felt like I regretted it. But it was too late to back down. I had to
stand by my decision . The car stopped in front of the house. We got out one after another. I was the first to
enter and they immediately followed. When I entered the door of the house, Aries greeted me. He was still
drinking juice while walking. He immediately stopped when he saw me. "Why are you here now? Where did
that scoundrel take you?" there was a threat in his voice. He was about to approach me but he immediately
saw those following me. I could see how quickly his expression changed. His eyes filled with anger. He kept
looking back and forth between me and the person behind me...his Dad. He dropped the glass of juice and it
quickly shattered. It seemed like the people in the kitchen heard it because Aunt Gema and Mama came out
one after the other. "The glass broke. What the -?" Mama couldn't finish what she was saying because of the
same reason the glass broke. "I- You." Aunt Gema covered her mouth. "Angelo!" she called to Kuya while not
taking her eyes off Aries' Dad. "Angelo, come down here!" I didn't know if he heard Auntie but I couldn't make
him wait any longer. I moved slightly to the side to properly present my companion to them. "S-He said he
wanted to talk to you," I said and I saw how Mama looked at me as if I had hurt her. I faced Ares and motioned
or him to come inside. He took two steps inside but stopped when he saw Kuya Angelo coming down the
stairs. At first he wondered who I was with but as he got closer, he gradually realized. "Shouldn't you still be in
jail? Your sentence isn't over yet," Kuya asked in surprise. "I was granted parole," the person next to me replied.
Kuya folded his arms and looked at me and my companions. His eyebrows rose when he saw Keifer behind
me. "Congrats." Aries said sarcastically to his Dad. "You can go." My brother was about to leave but his Dad
and I shouted at the same time to stop him. He immediately turned to face me when he heard my voice and
realized what I had done. He stared at me with surprise and accusation . He didn't know that my memory of
what happened had returned. "He just wanted to talk and apologize." I explained. He remained silent and so
did Mama and Tita Gema. Not even a faint voice could be heard from them. "Jay..." Kuya called to me "You go
to your room first." I didn't want to follow but I could see the anger in his eyes. I faced Keifer to say goodbye.
He smiled briefly before letting me leave. "You need to go too, Keifer," Kuya told him before I finally climbed the
stairs. "I know," the King of Snakes replied. Even though I had climbed up and reached my room, I still couldn't
hear any noise from them. I closed the door and leaned against it. I knew what I did was wrong but I still
wanted to do it. I wanted to know if he really wanted to apologize for what he did. Because whether I admitted
it to myself or not, I might be able to forgive him willingly when the time came, but what if his regret wasn't
real ? I forgave the wrong person and gave him another chance to do me wrong. I chose to get dressed first so
I could rest. I also took my cellphone and Keifer's message was the first thing that came to my mind. From:
GagongBaliw Message: I hope you're okay, I'm just here outside your house. Just in case. I just chose not to
reply to him. I didn't know what to answer either. I lay down on the bed and stared at the ceiling. I still felt what
was happening to them in Salas. I was also afraid that they might get sick because of their anger like I did
earlier at the coffee shop. It was already dark outside but I still hadn't heard anything from them. I chose to
text Hari in case I heard or saw him but I didn't get a reply from him. My stomach was also starting to churn. I
could hold on a little longer! But I couldn't hold on any longer. I got up and slowly opened my bedroom door. I
peeked outside but it seemed like nothing had happened. It was quiet as if no one lived in the house. I also
walked slowly but I was stopped when I saw Aries through the crack in his door. He was sitting on the end of
the bed. He was looking at his palms and was clearly deep in thought. I wanted to go in to say hello to him but
I would be a fool to do that. I brought that man into the house even though I knew full well what he had done
to us. I continued with my plan to go to the kitchen. I slowly walked back down the stairs. I was about to get
closer when I heard Mama and Aunt Gema talking. I was stopped by her crying. "Is that all?" she asked. "For
all her cruelty, just forgive her?" "She's ready to pay for her sin again. Let's put her in jail again." Aunt
suggested. "Then release her?" I heard my Mom's weak sobs. My heart literally broke. It's different when your
Mom is the one crying because of pain. What I did was really wrong. I just opened the wound she made. I
don't think those wounds have even fully healed yet. It was too late for me to repent. "My children! They
suffered because of him! How can I forgive him? He hasn't paid for the rape he committed against me!" I
covered my mouth in shock. What did I do? His shamelessness was even greater than I thought. I thought he
had just abandoned Mama while she was pregnant with Aries. My tears flowed on purpose and joined my
Mom's sobs. I felt so bad. I didn't mean to. I didn't know that she had suffered like that from that man. I quickly
walked back to my room. Because of my blurred vision, I tripped on the stairs several times. And when I was
close to my room door, I bumped into someone. "S-Sorry," I said before looking at him. I became even more
depressed when I saw Aries' lifeless eyes looking at me. He was obviously not in the mood either. I couldn't
look at him so I bowed down before trying to pass him but he stepped forward to block me. "A-Aries." "Why
Jay? Why did you bring that monster here?" he said dejectedly. I couldn't answer. I just sobbed before trying to
reach him but he just pushed my hand away. "Is this your revenge? Are you getting back at me for having a
communication with your Dad? For keeping him secretly from you? For calling him Papa? For treating him like
my own Father?" he asked one after another and his tears couldn't escape me. Sorry... "Huh? Is this? Are you
getting back at me? Because if so, you did a great job." He bowed down before washing his face with both
hands. "Your revenge hurts." My only response was sobbing. I didn't know how to explain my reason. I didn't
know what the right words to use were. "You've won. You've gotten back at me." He was about to go back to
his room but I grabbed the hem of his shirt. He stopped and took several deep breaths before facing me. "N-
No...that's it - " "You don't know." he interrupted me. "You don't remember." You're wrong. I remember. "It all
started with him. All of my...our suffering. If he hadn't kidnapped us, if he hadn't locked us in the basement, if
he hadn't just kept us away that night. You wouldn't have let me - " He couldn't finish what he was going to say.
But I knew exactly what was going to happen next. I wouldn't have stabbed him. He was obviously trying to
stop himself from saying the last words. He was full of accusations but he couldn't say them. "You don't
remember. That night - " "Aries." Big Brother stopped himself from saying anything. I looked at him and I saw
the disappointment in his eyes. He came closer to me and grabbed my hand to let go of Aries's clothes. "Let
Aries rest. Too much has happened." he said and my brother voluntarily entered the room without looking at
me. Kuya pulled me back to my room. He accompanied me all the way inside and closed the door. "Calm
down and I want to talk to you about what you did." he ordered and I did. I wiped my face a few more times
just to show that I was calm but my sobbing still wouldn't stop. I sat on the edge of my bed hugging my leg
and knee. "What's your reason for bringing that guy here? You should have asked us first. Since you don't
remember everything he did." You're wrong. "I remember." I corrected what he said and I saw his surprise.
"What?" "I remember what happened that night." I looked at him. "I also remember my attempt on Aries' life."
The surprise on Kuya's face was replaced by concern. He immediately knelt down on one knee to level me.
"When?" "This morning." I started crying again. "I'm feeling guilty, Kuya. I don't want to show them, please." I
begged. He looked at me with sympathy. I was grateful and it seemed like he understood my situation. He
nodded before standing up. "Get your things in order. I'll move you to my unit first." And that night, we left the
house quietly.