His Past
Jay-Jay's POV
"Drink ï¬rst," Ma'am Cindy ordered after setting down the glass of water in front of me. She let me inside the house when she saw my condition outside. I wasn't calming down even though Sir Alvin and I were trying to continue teaching. Add to that Keifer didn't want to leave my side so the other Ulopongs were restless. I drank the water. I calmed down but my hands were still shaking . "Come out later, help me prepare lunch ï¬rst." I nodded. I didn't want to go out and show them. When Ma'am made sure I was okay, she stood up to go to the refrigerator. I followed her. "Please wash these ï¬rst, then cut them up," she ordered after handing over the bag of vegetables. I went to the sink to do her bidding. I was quiet while washing the vegetables but I still couldn't stop my hands from shaking. I was annoyed that Ma'am saw that. Ma'am Cindy might think that Kuya is bullying me. When I ï¬nished washing the egetables, I took the cutting board and knife but because my hands were shaking, Ma'am took them back rom me. "I don't think it's safe for you to cut those veggies," she said and moved me aside. "I can do it, sir, this will go away too." I heard her laugh softly. "You look like Angelo." "Sir?" I heard what she said. I just couldn't understand why she compared me to my cousin. Do I look like I'm pretending to be an angel? Or am I breathing ï¬re. I don't always look angry either. I'm a tease but not in bed. "You and Angelo are the same when we were in high school, stubborn , impulsive, slightly innocent, and often quarrelsome," she explained. Kuya, are you the same as me? Weh? I don't think so. She cut the vegetables. Her hands were so fast that it was as if she was very skilled with a knife. Maybe she used to be a cook at a restaurant. That's how the hands of the cooks I see on TV and the internet are. "That's probably why he treats you like that," she added, making me stop. "Because he sees himself in you, maybe he's afraid that you'll imitate him." I wondered. "What's so scary about me imitating him? His life is going well." "Maybe his life is going well now, but before, he was completely lost. We left him behind. While we were starting the careers we chose, he was still studying." WHY WAS BROTHER LEFT AWAY? That's surprising. I couldn't help but notice the sadness in Ma'am's eyes as she told me about my cousin. From what I understand, Sir Alvin and Kuya Angelo were the only friends from then on. But it seems like Ma'am Cindy also became friends with my cousin who pretends to be an angel. Maybe she also knows a lot of secrets about Kuya's life. Just tell me, Ma'am. "Maybe he just doesn't want you to feel the same way he felt back then." Maybe. Maybe Kuya just doesn't want me to get caught like him. I remember back then when he came home drunk and apologized to Tita Gema. It was like he was so disappointed that it was my fault because I asked Yuri to end our engagement. But it's hard to imagine that a Michael Angelo Fernandez wouldn't graduate with his friends. He must have been so disappointed in himself back then . He still looked proud. Really proud. You're surprised, right? But how did he get caught? Kuya is smart, Aries said. He didn't have a hard time understanding his lectures. All I know is that Kuya taught him back then, so Aries doesn't have a hard time now. I'm the only one he can't teach and that's the dead lizard's fault. "What happened? Why did he get caught?" I asked and he suddenly stopped cutting. He looked at me and pointed to something beside me. "Please pass me the container," he ordered and I did so. He put the sliced food in the container. He continued slicing. "He was lost. He couldn't ï¬nd himself to the point that he doesn't know his own identity." Is that why people are looking for themselves? I can't get the part that even his identity he doesn't know. That's how bad it was for him. "I don't understand," I replied and he forced a smile. "Something happened. He was brokenhearted. Everyone turns their back on him. I can say that he lost everything," he said without looking at me. Was Kuya brokenhearted? That's why he's so grumpy. Well, he has Honey now. Even though I don't want them to be together, my cousin should be happy. Or maybe Honey doesn't make him happy? Isn't the ï¬ght in bed worth it? "What he did to you is too much, you don't have to forgive Angelo if you don't want to. But maybe, try to understand him. He just wants you to graduate on time and not be left behind." I bowed my head. It's not that I won't forgive him. I've always understood what he did to me. I just wanted to let go of my anger towards him for now. As I listened to what Ma'am Cindy was saying, I didn't realize that my hand was shaking. I volunteered to ï¬nish cutting the vegetables. I knew we wouldn't be able to ï¬nish immediately if he were the only one doing it. He was cooking for the whole barangay. I wanted to ask about Kuya Angelo and what happened to him and why he was left behind, but it was obvious that Ma'am was avoiding me from answering. It seemed like she was calculating what she would answer and couldn't make a mistake. So I chose to just ask about their high school life. "I'm in Section A. Your Sir Alvin and I are in Section E. They only have 8 or 9 in their Section and the others are always absent," he began. "Your class is like a special section, just a safety net for the older students." That's what Kuya used to say to me about Section E. But it seems so lazy that you only come to the room at 8 or 9. It seems like even the teacher would be lazy to teach when that happens. What did Kuya's classmates do to end up there? Kuya is aware that I used to be a ï¬ghter. He even has a picture of me on the second floor of our old building. "What did Sir Alvin do, why did he end up in Section E?" It's hard to believe that Sir would end up in our Section. He's too kind. "I got into a ï¬ght with a teacher after he told me I had a career in a night club," he replied and I stopped what I was doing before looking at him but he suddenly laughed. "What your Sir doesn't know is that the Teacher is referring to ï¬ght club. He said my body is good enough for sports, I can do boxing. Well, he almost got expelled, he just went through the plea deal so he got suspended and transferred to a different Section." I also laughed a little. "How long have you and Sir been together? Since high school." "We haven't been together." I was literally speechless at what he said. He was serious when he said that so I knew he wasn't joking. "W-How are you . . .?" I couldn't ï¬nish my question. It's hard to imagine that they're married and then they're not. Don't they have a label? Is this what Keifer and I have a future like this? Oh, I don't think so. It's quick, get married right away. I want to be a couple ï¬rst, enjoy the dates. We'll ï¬ght, break up and then get back together. I want relationship problems, headaches. "We don't usually talk but we've known each other for a long time. I grew up with them, I was an employee in their house." What kind of love story was that? There wasn't much interaction and then they just got married. "Did you arrange a marriage?" He laughed out loud. "Not really." "You just got married without eelings?" I asked and I was clearly intrigued by their story. He laughed again. "Of course feelings are involved. It's kinda complicated." I wanted to tease him about their story but he didn't seem to want to give any details. I just let it go and asked something else . Like why they wanted to become teachers? "My adopted mother was an undergraduate secondary teacher. I just followed her dream," he replied while smiling. "You? What are you planning to take?" "I don't have a course in mind yet." "The entrance exam is coming up. You should have something to choose from. You might have a hard time if you focus on taking it and enrolling in college." Well, I suddenly got nervous. I felt like there was a timer on my forehead that when the time was up, I wouldn't be able to go to college. There were so many courses I could take, I might as well give up. I would have liked a course without exams. Of course, there was nothing like that. I ï¬nished cutting and he asked me to help him gather the ingredients. He started cooking, while I just watched. I wanted to interfere with the stove because I was even more nervous that there might be a ï¬re. My role was really just to eat. When we ï¬nished what we were doing, we cleaned up and then served, we also arranged the plates, glasses, spoons and forks. He checked twice to see if everything was okay before telling me to call them. I was hesitant at ï¬rst because I still couldn't get over the shame of my older brother's scolding in front of them, but it was time to eat, so I did it anyway. When I came out, they were still busy with what they were teaching in front of them. This time Yuri was in front of the white board and teaching Math. I looked at the Ulopongs. Some of them were following the solving, but of course there were always those who were sleeping in the middle of the class like David, Eman and Mayo. There were also some who were just staring at the front but not writing anything. I winced. They were really Ulopongs. I raised my hand to get Yuri's attention. He saw me immediately so he stopped. "They're going to eat," I said and it sounded like good news to them. They all looked around. Even the sleepers woke up and turned to me. "The food is ready inside." They suddenly stood up and went inside ï¬rst. Drew almost fell because of Blaster's tripping. They pulled Ci-N to sit down again. Kit planned to leave Mayo sleeping but she woke up on her own. Felix and David were late because they seemed to have used up their energy to make a mess. "You guys are starving!" "Okay, don't eat." I just stepped aside. It looked like there would be a stampede because of how much trouble they were in. It wasn't obvious that they were really hungry. "Hey, do you feel better now?" Yuri asked me. I smiled at him. "Yes, I'm okay." "Sorry, we can't stop Angelo." I smiled at him. I knew they knew Kuya that when he gets upset, he'll hurt anyone who can. "It's okay. Eat now." He smiled and went inside. I turned to look for the King of the Snakes but it didn't seem necessary because he was right in ront of me. "I'm going to eatâ€"." I couldn't ï¬nish what I was going to say because of his sudden hug. He didn't say anything. I also hugged him on purpose and for some reason I didn't understand, I felt like crying. I had been holding on a while, I was calm again but because of his hug, I felt like crying again. Why did I give in so quickly and soften in his arms? The force of my hit on him was so strong. "I'm ashamed," I whispered. "You don't have to, we all understand. We're all embarrassed in front of each other." I sank into his chest. "I can't help it." "Would you feel better if I told are embarrassing story?" he asked but I didn't answer. "In front of us, a debt collector cursed at Drew. Ci-N would receive insults from his brother every single time he would see him happy with us. Felix was once called a scoundrel by his Aunt who denied him as a relative." I looked up at him. All of that happened in front of them. Yes, I'm annoyed with Drew because of his debt to me but if I see him curse at us in front of someone we don't know, I feel sorry for him. I've also witnessed Ci-N's humiliation by his brother. I can't help but feel sorry for Felix, especially since I know what they went through. "You have every right to feel shame but I want you to know that you're not alone. So don't think about what our friends are thinking," he said and kissed my forehead. "Even I felt ashamed of you too. Remember when my Dad brought you all to his house? I was so ashamed because I didn't want you to meet him. He's a monster." I remembered that. The ï¬rst time I faced his Dad. Suddenly, he picked us up from the house, Aries and I were also put in the service car because the Ulopongs and Ella were also in the car. That was also the day Dylan pointed a gun at my head. I was so arrogant back then, my knees were so soft. "I don't remember you being ashamed back then." He smiled and brushed a few pieces of hair from my face. "If you only knew, I wanted to run him over just so I could get you all out of there." "I remember you were tense and worried about your brother." He smiled again. "Priorities." He suddenly pinched my nose. "Then there was one of them who played the hero and challenged Dylan." "A-Aray!" I complained and let go of him to remove his hand from my nose. "At least, they're unny. But I won't do that again, I'm too scared." He laughed slightly. "As you should. Do you feel like your body is made of shields and is bulletproof?" "No. I'm just brave because death is my relative ." I smiled widely. He often pretends to be an angel. "Yeah, but you're not exempt from death. So be careful and don't get too close to danger." I stopped. Suddenly I saw Keifer, my old enemy. The grumpy and preachy King of the Vipers. I couldn't help but stare at him. I was still being lectured but now he wasn't yelling like he was talking to a child. Now I could feel that he was really worried. He suddenly smiled. I thought it was because he was just appreciating our time, but when his face came closer to mine, my eyes quickly widened and I immediately turned my face away from him. "Hey!" I said to him. "What? No one is around." I looked around. Sure enough, there was no one and it seemed like everyone was inside. But I chose to shake my head at the King of Cobras. I didn't feel like hugging him for now. "Next time, maybe we'll run out of food," I said and he laughed. I invited him inside. It was a good thing we still got to the food. They were already making a fuss and were even taking advantage of each other when it came to spooning. I felt sorry for Sir and Ma'am who were standing there eating and watching us. They even shook their heads when someone took food from someone else's plate. Ci- N led the way. Like before, Ulopong volunteered to clean up and wash the dishes again. "Where's your brother? Did he leave?" Ci asked me. Yes, right? Now I think about it, he's been gone for a while. It seemed like he left after I lectured him. Maybe he was cooling off. I just shrugged my shoulders in response. After cleaning up, we went back outside to study. This time, I was serious. Wow, so serious about studying. I really tried to listen. David also sat next to me to teach me. Luckily, he was easy to explain.We didn't even escape Keifer's sharp gaze. Yuri just raised his eyebrows at us and seemed to be watching us. They wondered what David was doing to them. They should be grateful to him because he was helping me and then he also made me repeat the topic when I didn't understand. But he only repeated the law of attraction a few times, which is probably why the two of them got annoyed with him and the Ulopongs were still laughing. "Is manifesting that he likes me part of the law of attraction?" David asked so we looked at him. "But there's a big chance that he'll like me?" Who was he referring to? His crush? "That doesn't count." Yuri answered seriously. "If you don't like it, don't force it." Keifer added. "I'm not forcing it." David smiled broadly. " I'm just manifesting." The Ulopongs laughed. The others clapped so the spirits of those who were already asleep, like Ci, woke up. The two were obviously bored so I just asked about another topic and they quickly helped me. The three of them took turns teaching but Sir often explains everything. Ma'am Cindy also joined in teaching so that we could understand better. When 6PM came, they stopped teaching. Eman and Denzel came in to help Ma'am cook dinner. I wanted to help but Sir gave me answers, and most of them were Math problems. Sir, eh. Math really? Keifer and Yuri were going to help me but Sir stopped them. "He needs to learn on his own. You can't always be there to help," Sir said and I agreed. They did nothing but leave me in the living room while Math was solving the problem that he couldn't ï¬nish. It must have been an hour before I heard them calling for dinner but I couldn't leave my seat. I couldn't leave what I was answering because I might lose all the lessons in my mind. I would probably forget everything when I was in front of the food. I even heard the Ulopongs calling me but I ignored them . Ci even went to see me to make me jealous of what he was eating. Even if I wanted to eat, I couldn't. "You don't want to?" Ci asked and I shook my head. "That's good." I winced. I thought he was still concerned about me. His smile was still wide while the liempo was in his mouth. He walked back to the table. "Don't trip!" Felix shouted at Ci. " Barakuda might go crazy! " WHAT DID BARAKUDA KNOW ABOUT THIS? I could hear their laughter but I wasn't happy. Just wait until I ï¬nished. I was in the middle of counting on my ï¬ngers when someone put a plate down in ront of me. There was rice, liempo, tomatoes, and cucumbers. I looked at the person who put it down and immediately turned back to the person I was solving when I met Kuya Angelo's eyes. "Yes, I want you to study but I don't want you to starve," he said and I left. I bit my lower lip. I looked at the food in front of me and Kuya who had his back to me. I was sulking at him but I wasn't sulking at the food. It was like I was sulking at life. Food is life after all. I put aside what I was about to answer. Keifer was right next to me while holding a glass of drink. "They're ignoring him," he whispered to me. "Who?" "Your cousin." Wow, what a jerk. I admire the Ulopongs and they really ignored my cousin. But they didn't have to do that. It's a good thing Kuya wasn't affected by that. "Let me know if you need help," Keifer said and sat down next to me. I turned to him. "No. I can do it. I'm almost done." He smiled at me and watched me eat. When I ï¬nished, he took my food, saying he would put it in the sink. I went back to answering what Sir had given me. I literally didn't notice the time. The Ulopongs also went back and forth in front of me a few times but I ignored them. Ci was also about to start a ï¬ght but Sir stopped him. When I ï¬nished my answer, it was like I won the lottery, my back was sore. Is this how it's done? "Are you done?" Keifer asked, waiting for me to ï¬nish. "I didn't realize I was there." "I purposely stayed here quietly, so I won't disturb you." He said with a smile and came over to get my papers. "Let me check your answers." This was the verdict. He took the pen and checked my answers one by one. I bit my lip when he pointed out my mistakes. I couldn't keep up with how many were correct and incorrect. I covered my eyes when he started counting. "Here's your score." I slowly glanced at the paper and my smile stayed the same when I scored 39 out of 50. Not bad. That's high for me. I applauded. "I got a 39." I took the paper and stared at my score before presenting it to Hari. I smiled broadly at him. I wanted to show him that I was proud of my score. It wasn't perfect but I knew I worked hard for the result. Next time I'll aim for a perfect score. I couldn't help but be happy. Especially since the Math problems were so hard. Keifer smiled broadly as if he was so proud of me. "Congratulations. I'm so proud of you."