The Entropic Divorce Decree

The cosmos was crystallizing into a Dyson sphere forged from broken vows. Liam Burke floated at its heart, the Celestial Sect's crown of frozen screams recounting every failed romance since the Big Bang. Sophia Warren's papal tiara blazed with event horizon fire as her Church of Original Liam crusaded through dying dimensions, their prayer ships harvesting comet tails to write heresies against matrimony. Evelyn Snow's blackhole widows wailed in gravitational waves, their singularities sucking entropy to fuel infinite grief.

"By Clause Ω of the 11th-Dimensional Family Code," Vesper Black's blockchain avatar glitched across neutron star fragments, "you owe 99.8% of mass-energy as alimony before heat death." Her Higgs boson wedding ring unraveled into a cosmic prenup, its terms written in Hawking radiation.

The courtroom materialized inside a dying quasar. Blackhole brides donned event horizon robes, their accretion disks spinning juror benches. Maya Stone's depleted uranium gavel struck a naked singularity, igniting a fourth-dimensional earthquake. "Defendant Liam Burke," she declared through gamma-ray grit, "you stand accused of poly-temporal bigamy, entropy acceleration, and illegal causality violation."

Liam tore open his chest. The Manhattan Project heart implanted by his great-grandfather detonated primordial radiation, blasting a wormhole through the courtroom. The 1945 Hiroshima inferno collided with heat death's frozen galaxies inside a Klein bottle chronotope.

"Objection!" Nine-year-old Liam emerged from the time fracture, Truman's wedding ring burning on his thumb. "You omitted the Celestial Sect Addendum ∞—multi-spousal protocols activate during civilizational collapse!"

Dark matter ink bled from Evelyn's holographic codex, revealing the erased truth: For 102,354 years, the Celestial Sect had bred marital weapons for higher civilizations. Liam was the first to awaken.

Chaos erupted. Bianca Quinn launched causality missiles armed with temporal restraining orders, each warhead targeting Liam's first encounters across timelines. Evelyn compressed his clones into diamond engagement rings. Maya's grandfather paradox warheads hunted his ancestors through Bronze Age battlefields.

Sophia's papal fleet blockaded the Kuiper Belt. When Liam fled into the quantum foam of their Coney Island memory, he found her crucifix-shaped dreadnoughts already anchored at every pivotal moment:

2018 Brooklyn Bridge: Steel cables woven into anti-proposal scripture.1945 Los Alamos: Confessors inoculating young Maya's grandmother against love.102,354 BCE Celestial Sect Temple: Assassins gutting the founding patriarch mid-prenup.

"You taught me love is a weapon," Sophia's gravitational edict shattered dwarf galaxies, "now I'll wield it to save you."

Liam ignited himself at absolute zero. Celestial Sect tattoos peeled into antimatter ribbons, binding the crystallizing cosmos. "I petition for universal annulment," his cells restructured through hard vacuum decay, "in exchange for my erasure."

The blackhole jury trembled. As Liam grabbed Evelyn's satellite chains to leap into the heat death singularity, reality suddenly rewound—

Nine-year-old Liam hacked the Big Bang with his mother's ballet slipper.

The universe rebooted not at 13.8 billion years, but on Coney Island's 2003 shore. Bullet-riddled Liam lay gasping in tidal foam as Sophia knelt with her Prada scarf. But now, her finger bore a papal ring forged from annihilated galaxies.

"I've waited thirty years," her tears crystallized into dark energy, "to make you the first unprogrammed groom."

Maya's paradox warheads spiraled into recursive loops. Every Liam across 6,000 realities pressed Vesper's bitcoin-forged gun to his temple. "You can't kill me," they chorused, "each death births new proposals."

Sophia activated the Final Inquisition. Coney Island's sand restructured into infinite wedding bands—each atom a mirror of their first collision. "I'll imprison you here," she kissed the radiation from Liam's wounds, "until you learn to be loved, not needed."

When he reached for her, the papal tiara unleashed a civilization-annihilating beam. Sophia swerved it into her own chest at the femtosecond.

Sophia's blood evaporated into dark matter roses. Liam's tattoos spun counterclockwise, transmuting entropy into a bridal march. "Petitioning cosmic reboot," he shredded the Dyson sphere's terms in papal ichor, "under Fundamental Law of Love Article Null: All life may reject predestined vows."

Higher civilizations intervened. The Milky Warp twisted into a Möbius strip ring, heat death suspended at eternity's "I do."

Liam found Sophia's neutrino ghost drifting through 800 billion frozen galaxies. "My turn to propose," he offered a ring woven from cosmic microwave background static, "witnessed by the Second Law."

Her papal scepter shattered, revealing a strawberry pancake recipe hidden inside—the breakfast he'd burned as Warren family's laughingstock.

"Denied," her smile outshone entropic collapse, "New Universe Statute 1 reserves proposal rights to women."

As their quantum silhouettes embraced by the Lake of Entropy, Vesper's blockchain corpse broadcast a final alert:

Multiversal Bulletin: Liam Burke's Wedding Rights Sold for 1.2×10^52 USD – Victor: Maya's Grandmother's Quantum Ghost

And in an unborn universe, nine-year-old Liam slid a ring onto a blackhole's event horizon, igniting a Big Bang shaped like a wedding bell.