Tortured Mind

In the throne room, a beautiful purple orchid cared with care and love sat on the table. The emperor, lost in thought, absentmindedly picked up the orchid putting it on his lap and started wiping the petals this had been his routine this past month and his mind always drifted to Mei, the woman who had captivated him from the very first moment he meets making his heart race at the thought of her ever since he met her. His attempts to suppress his memories of her only made him think of her more, causing him to send an investigator to check on her. The reports arrived every two weeks showing how she was thriving, and with her brother changing the farm and the house, he was so impressed by her crafty methods at the farm, which were very original and clever. He thought maybe he could give her money for her creating a guide for farmers as her methods were effective with no cost, and it would be very helpful to the commoners.

As he read over the latest report, a familiar ache in his heart spread. He read the details of her daily routine, filled with warmth and peace he'd never known, and jealousy consumed him; responsibility had defined his life to empire and people.

He imagined life with her by her side, farming together and eating what they grew. To him, it seemed the ideal. Though he didn't dislike being the emperor, it was a very lonely and demanding road, and he wished he had someone by his side who could share his worries.

Although there wasn't love between him and the Empress, there was respect between them. She was someone who could share his worries, and when she died giving birth to the son, leaving him and his daughter alone, he left more lonely than he ever did.

His thoughts went back to Mei. He remembered what had happened to her family. Did she ever blame him for her family's misfortune and suffering? The question haunted him, Her father was a very crafty man as he held the position of ministry of treasury and during his rule, there was a lot of corruption the emperor was unaware but he found out about the suffering of the people who experienced flood but the money allocated to them had not reached them at one his outings and once he investigated what he found shocked him so many levels of corruption and that was when he commanded for him to be arrested and his family wealth confiscated although that was already merciful enough for the type of crime committed as such type of crimes carried extermination of the whole family he was not someone who could be ruthless enough to involve innocent people as the father was the only person who committed the crime only he will be punished but to return all he stole he had to confiscate the Li Family properties but now he felt maybe he could have let the children keep some of the wealth.

Since she was a clever woman, if he showed her the report on her father's crime, he was confident that she would not blame him. Even with that, the thought that she might think that he caused her and her brother's hard life made his heartache.

That she occupied his thoughts every moment of his day made it undeniable: he had fallen in love with her at first sight, which he never thought was possible 

The thought both scared and excited him. Never had he felt this way about anyone, yet now happiness filled him. He at least felt what every common man felt for a woman. He had always thought that he could never feel that, ever. Now was the time to decide. 

He wondered if she ever thought of him as much as he did, but deep down, he knew she'd never thought of him, and since that day, thoughts of her consumed his every moment. The more he tried to suppress it, the more he thought of her, and recently, she was all he could think of as he went through the report more times than required.

The prime minister's sight recently annoyed and the thought of her filled every aspect of his life with her presence. He could not understand how the prime minister of the whole empire could let his grandchildren suffer with no help, but knowing the old man, was rigid and would never go against the rule.

His frustrations grew, particularly with the prime minister, whose rigid adherence to tradition left his grandchildren without help. As the emperor, he found it incomprehensible that the leader under his realm could overlook such suffering of his own kind.

To add to his irritation, his cousin frequently visited the palace to tease him about his feelings. Once, he'd even allowed his cousin to skip court after a threat to send a matchmaker to the prime minister's family to propose to Mei's hand in marriage something he couldn't allow. Xuan was fully aware of how playful his cousin was, but the thought of it just made him angry. Rui could sometimes go far with his jokes, so he had to secure Mei before his cousin attempted to outmaneuver him. The thought of his cousin's antics only fueled his resolve. It was time to take action and embrace the feelings he had suppressed for too long.

With his private outing upcoming he decided it was time to pay a visit to her farm and house, he would make a deal with her offer her a house in the capital so she was close by and money with servants and in return he would ask her to create the guide now he had a perfect excuse to help her as he never she will take nothing for free and to show that was how hard she worked to feed herself and her brother instead of going to beg her grandfather who had both money and power.