chapter 75: the edge of goodbye

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The days passed in a blur, each one marked by a silence that Kaori didn't know how to navigate. The envelope she had left behind at the café haunted her, its contents a reflection of her fractured heart. Inside, she had written everything she had never been able to say to Kaito. Her pain, her anger, her confusion—all of it laid bare in ink on paper. It wasn't enough, but it was the only way she could express everything that words, spoken aloud, had failed to capture.

Every moment after that encounter felt like walking on a tightrope, balancing between wanting to forget and needing to remember. The memories of Kaito, of their shared moments, played over and over in her mind like a broken record, each one causing her heart to ache in new ways. She had promised herself that she would let go, but the ghost of their past was a shadow she couldn't outrun.

Yet, in the quiet, Kaori had started to ask herself some difficult questions. Was it really the past she was afraid of? Or was it the future? Was it the fear of reopening old wounds that had kept her from fully letting go? Or was it the terror that the future without Kaito would be one filled with endless uncertainty?

She still hadn't opened the envelope. She didn't know if she ever would.

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Two Weeks Later

Kaori's days had become a routine—work, the occasional outing with friends, and brief moments spent in solitude, trying to stitch together the pieces of her broken heart. But no matter how hard she tried to bury her feelings, they kept rising to the surface, forcing her to confront them again and again.

One evening, after another long day, Kaori found herself standing in front of Kaito's apartment building. Her heart pounded in her chest, a mix of dread and longing swirling inside her. The familiar ache in her chest pulled her forward, step by step, until she was standing at the door of his apartment.

Her hand hesitated over the doorbell, her mind swirling with doubts and fears. She wasn't sure what she expected—apologies, explanations, or simply a moment of clarity. But what she knew for certain was that she couldn't keep running away. She had to face him, to face the person who had once been everything to her, and who had now become a stranger in so many ways.

Finally, her hand pressed the doorbell.

A moment later, the door opened, and there stood Kaito. His eyes were tired, his face etched with the same pain Kaori had seen on that fateful day. The tension between them was palpable, and neither of them spoke for what seemed like an eternity.

"Kaori…" Kaito's voice was hoarse, almost as if he hadn't spoken in days. He stepped aside, silently inviting her in.

Kaori stood frozen for a moment before stepping over the threshold, the familiar scent of his apartment both comforting and suffocating. The space felt the same, yet everything had changed. The light outside had dimmed, casting a soft glow on the room, but the shadows in Kaori's heart seemed to grow deeper with each passing second.

They sat on the couch, a comfortable distance between them, but the space felt impossibly wide.

"Why did you come?" Kaito asked softly, his voice breaking through the silence like a crack in glass. "After everything… why?"

Kaori swallowed, her hands twisting in her lap. "I don't know," she admitted, her voice barely above a whisper. "I thought I had all the answers. I thought I had made peace with it. But… I can't. I can't just pretend nothing happened. I can't pretend that I don't still care about you."

Kaito looked away, his eyes filled with regret. "I didn't deserve you, Kaori. I don't deserve to be standing here, asking you to even look at me. But I need you to know… I never wanted to hurt you. I thought I was protecting you, but I was wrong. I see that now."

Tears welled up in Kaori's eyes, threatening to spill over. She had spent so long holding everything inside, and now, with him here, so close, the dam that she had built to keep everything at bay was crumbling. "You hurt me, Kaito," she whispered, the words tasting bitter in her mouth. "You hurt me more than you'll ever understand."

Kaito's breath hitched as he reached out, his hand trembling slightly as he tried to bridge the gap between them. "I know. And I'm sorry. I've spent every day regretting it, but I was too scared to fix it. Too scared to admit that I was wrong."

The silence between them grew heavy, and Kaori felt a surge of conflicting emotions—anger, love, longing, and loss—all swirling together, creating a storm in her chest. "I don't know what you want from me," she said, her voice cracking. "I don't know if I can just forgive you and move on. I don't know if I can be the person you want me to be."

Kaito's hand dropped back to his side, his shoulders slumping in defeat. "I don't want anything from you, Kaori. I just… I just want you to be happy. Even if it's not with me."

Kaori closed her eyes, the pain overwhelming. She could feel the weight of the years between them, the lost time, the unspoken words, the missed chances. And in that moment, she realized something—no matter how much she wanted to move on, no matter how much she tried to convince herself she was done with Kaito, her heart still ached for him.

But she also knew something else. Love wasn't enough to fix what had been broken. They had both changed, and no amount of longing could undo the hurt.

"I need time, Kaito," she said, her voice barely audible. "I need time to figure out what I want, what's best for me."

He nodded, his eyes brimming with unshed tears. "I'll wait. I'll wait for as long as you need. And if you don't ever come back… I'll understand."

Kaori stood up, her heart breaking as she walked toward the door. "I'm sorry, Kaito," she whispered one last time before stepping into the cold night.

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End of Chapter 75.