A Deep Blue Rebeginning

Everything is dark blue. A man sinks slowly down, lower and lower in the body of water. He continues to sink until his torso hits the sea floor. His long, tangled, and brown hair rises, Yearning for the surface yet attached to the anchored body. His eyes the color of the deep dark water around him. The salty water taking the hydration from his lips. His lungs filled with water instead of the needed air. He looks up towards the surface that looks like the iconic "light at the end of the tunnel" with a look of tired acceptance. The deep blue around turns into a red tint, leaking from the small copper knife penetrating into his waist.

'So this is the end?'

He began to feel his warmth being replaced with the chillness of the deep abyss he finds himself up at the bottom of. He makes a look back up at the illuminated surface. His glance lasts a few seconds before his eyes close.

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"Hey there, Rufus!"

An energetic, young girl's voice speaks out. The man opens his eyes in surprise. He blinks a few times to make sure he isn't seeing things. He sees the child run towards him with excitement. Everything around is made of poor and rough wood material. The smell of rotten wood and sawdust fills his nostrils with contempt. He sees that some boards are covering broken windows, as though it was a sorry attempt to protect themselves from the weather. He went from the bottom of the deep water to a tiny, poor, wooden house, practically a shed, in an instant.

The small girl clings to his leg lovingly. Her only clothing being a ragged, stretched robe that covers her body and continues to dragging on the ground. Her knotted hair formed into two messy ponytails. Not only that, but her eyes dark blue like the man's own eyes. The girl's energy contrasts with the area, smell, and practically everything else, as if she was an outlier. He looks at the girl with a squint, as if he was digging through his memories, trying to find her.

'Who is this little girl? And why does she look so… familiar?'

To his surprise, his lips release a giggle. He couldn't control his own body. It was like he was some sort of puppet.

"Hey to you too, Leylin."

The man hears a younger version of his own voice. Suddenly his cloudy brain had realized what this was, as if a part of the fog in his head had lifted.

'This is a memory. This is an old memory, too. Is this what the afterlife is?'

He looks at what he now knows is his little sister, as well as his only living family. Leylin looks up at him and gives him a heartwarming smile. She releases a chuckle before asking,

"Where's dinner, Rufus?"

He thinks for a moment, trying to remember who Rufus was. It sounded familiar, but he couldn't quite remember it.

"Sorry, Leylin, we didn't receive any promotions tonight."

The man remembers, he is Rufus. It has been so long since he had heard his own name that he had simply forgotten it. He reflects on his memories to try to remember how he got to the sad place he is in the present day.

The girl's smile drops a little after hearing that there won't be any dinner tonight. After seeing Leylin's slight frown, pressure builds in his heart for some reason. It wasn't the frown itself, but just something about seeing Leylin. It was like a viper's fang was piercing his heart. One of his emotions was building, some kind of emotional pain. Rufus tried to figure out what it was, but he couldn't quite figure out what it was.

Rufus looks closer and sees that everything has frozen, as if time has stopped. The pressure in his chest keeps building, it becomes painful, too painful. It becomes almost unbearable. His head begins to pound. Rufus simply stands there, forced to be completely still as his minor headache turns into a brain thumping migraine. It was like somebody was bashing his bare skull with a hammer. His chest became worse, feeling like his internal organs were just moments away from bursting.

'It hurts so damn much! Just what the hell is this?'

He shuts his eyes, trying to focus on anything else besides the pain. Anything that can at least distract him from the pain. He hears glass shattering and the pressure begins to calm a bit. Suddenly, he feels light pats of water hit his head and shoulders. The constant smell of rotten wood is now replaced with the natural scent of dew. A lightning strike is heard not that far away.

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After opening his eyes, Rufus sees that the setting has once again changed. He is outside, standing in mud as rain pours over his head, completely soaking him. He looks next to him just to see a line of a few dozen men, all wearing the same militaristic uniform. They all wear a sheathed sword on their waist sides. The hilt of the swords bearing some sort of lion crest, one that Rufus recognized. It was the kingdom of Meyler, the same kingdom he had resided in all of his life. He has now found himself in the memory of his military trainee days.

"Pst! You new here?" 

Someone whispered to Rufus. Rufus looks to the man. He had short, slicked hair, a chiseled jaw, and a face that both any man or woman would fall for.

"Yeah, I am Rufus Muller from the Jolline district."

Like before, Rufus' mouth moved on its own. Speaking the truth, he really did grow up in the Jolline district. A place that was known for its poverty and rampant crime. It was so bad that the average life expectancy was thought to be below the age of 20.

"So you grew up in that part of the kingdom? You look like you are in your late 20s, so you must be a tough cookie!"

Despite the man's attempt of praise, it was a little upsetting to Rufus. At this current time, he was only 22. Despite the frustration, Rufus continued in a friendly approach.

"What's your name, Mr. Looker?"

The man giggled a little at the light joke and held out his hand for a handshake. Rufus accepts his gesture and the man continues.

"Name's Riel, thank you very much."

They both smile at each other with the new-found camaraderie. Rufus, who was simply reliving this memory, began to feel melancholy at the site.

'You were my best friend, Riel. I guess I'll see you soon anyway…'

After taking another look, Rufus found that the memory had stopped again and the pain had revived. Rufus would grimace if he could, but like the previous memory, he couldn't move in this little "intermission". The pain worsens, now becoming even worse than the pain he felt just a few moments ago with Leylin. He closes his eyes and waits for a few moments. The pain continues to rise exponentially, but after just a few short seconds, Rufus becomes relieved of the pain. Suddenly, Rufus finds himself somewhere that is warm. He hears the cracking of a lovely fireplace.

----------

Rufus opens his eyes quickly. He looks around, and his heart begins to jump and race. He knows this memory. Even though this is one of the oldest memories he has, he still knows it. He kept trying to hide from it, but he now is forced to relive the tragedy.

Soothing heat radiates from the fireplace at the end of the room. It sits in the chimney with metal barring taming the scorching wood placed within. His little body sits on the ground as he just stares at the dancing inferno. At his time, he is just 7 years old. His innocent eyes weren't prepared for the traumatic experience that was about to unfold. Even the Rufus that possessed the 7-year-old Rufus wasn't ready.

The quickly repeated chopping noise echoed from the kitchen that was fused with the living room. His mother wasn't that far away. In fact, she was the one chopping up carrots in the kitchen with a cooking knife. Rufus' father was outside, probably training, after all, he was a respected kingdom guard.

The little Rufus that he is possessing continues to stare at the flames with curiosity and eagerness. He was always a strange kid, a special one. He never played with the other kids or even like the other kids. Furthermore, he was always curious, which was probably why he grew up to be extremely intelligent. The title of smart wasn't something Rufus had given himself out of confidence alone, however. It was something that was proven through his scores and growing knowledge. By age 6 he had already passed the scores of the average of those 10 years older. He was certainly gifted in the brain.

As Rufus recalled the future of this memory, his heart sank more and more. Trying to prepare himself for what was very soon to come. His teeth chattered and he shivered in terror.

'No, dammit! Please stop this now!'

Rufus was growing desperate. He wanted to yell that out, but it became a thought that if anyone heard outside his head, would immediately turn to him, scared.

Seemingly out of nowhere, a loud clank! Rushed inside from the front lawn. It sounded like two bars of steel clashing together swiftly, but it was followed by many more clanks and other sounds akin to it. This had visibly spooked the mother, who had stopped chopping dinner, and this made Rufus turn paler than snow.

The noises continued for a few moments, even with some audible groans and grunts being heard from outside. Suddenly, something large slams into the closed front door, after that sound nothing else was heard. Rufus' heart beat rose higher than ever before, he wanted to look away with his whole might, but he couldn't. Soon, a crimson red liquid poured under the door, spilling inside.

Rufus' mother gasped in shock and held her mouth as the blood continued staining the clean wooden floor. Not even a few moments later and the door gets busted open. A man wearing heavy make-shift armor blocked the moonlight from entering the cozy home. The man was tall and menacing, along his arm, neck, and legs he wore tattoos. His face for some reason was unreasonably blurry, even though Rufus stared into the criminal's eyes, he still could not see a face. The man held a steel shortsword, it was dripping with Rufus' father's blood.

At that moment, the 7-year-old Rufus finally shut his eyes just like the possessing Rufus wanted long before it happened. He heard his mother's screams as things around broke with loud thuds. Crack! Thud! Chairs and tables break. Rufus hides in his own arms. He drowns all the sound out. Warm liquid splashes on him from the conflict but he dares not stare at what it is.

'Stop it! Please! Please Stop it!

His thoughts are desperate and fearful. This is torture to him. His brain swirls around, he would rather die than relive this. Immense pain envelopes his body and mind. It feels 10 times worse than anything he had ever felt before. A powerful sharp pain stabs through his heart. Like a thousand needles twisting around inside his chest. His mind feels like it is being played by a drummer with two hammers instead of sticks. His eyes begin to leak tears.

'Stop it now!'

suddenly the pain subsides for now. He opens his eyes to something he never expected to see. He stands up on command. Rufus looks around, it is an endless black void. His feet stays on like there is some invisible floor. And the most suprising of all, glass plates fly by at immense speed. It was like they were following a current. Each plate held pictures of different memories he possesses. He watch as his life flash before his very eyes.